{color:#003366}Me too. On some level I knew what happened was rape, I knew as it was happening that it was rape. But hearing it from others just confirmed it for me, it was almost like a checklist was being marked off...yes, that happened; yes, he did that; yes, i felt that way too.

Reading what others have written here is having the same effect. It helps knowing you're not alone, and that you're not the one who was crazy.
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ok fuzzy how are you exactly...someone said that we should have figured out who you were...so why dont you tell us who you are at some point

Hello. I felt what you were feeling in what you wrote. I was also abused. Same stuff. Remember the wife on video w/her kid taping it. Yeah, hard to watch, I was flinchin' like i was on a bad trip.
I too still have healing to do and it is difficult coz he's still trying, financially, and thru the kids, to control me.
I feel ya and I hope you feel me coming back at ya w/a wink and a prayer for ya sister.

I can't emphasize enough how much the Abuse: Physical, Verbal or Emotional board has helped me (and others) on this site. It's under relationships. There are numerous posts with a bunch of resources, website names, people, books to look into for healing from abuse of ANY kind.

TO EMPOWERWOM,

Your post did show up- I remember reading it. But oprah.com doesn't allow links in the message boards to other websites (you could be sending someone to a link where they'll unknowingly download some kind of virus, etc.) and they delete any posts with links in them.

Your latest posting will probably be deleted too. You can repost saying, "This is the name of my organization, search for it on Google" but you cannot put any kind of links in the postings.

Thank you Sleepless!! It hurts so much when you try to get your message out and no one seems to hear it. It can do alot of damage!! But I must remember that for all that my father did to me and all that my husband did to me, I must be stronger then that and if I don't speak out then someone else might feel my pain and I don't want that.

It was a real step for me to come out of the closet and speak up about marital rape. I live in the bible belt of Texas and it makes it hard sometimes.

To find out more about my story you can google "Portraits of Abuse" and my organization Empower women. I want every woman on this planet to feel safe in her body, safe in her bed and safe in here home!!

Once again thank you Sleepless

Shirley

No problem!

You're doing wonderful things, empowerwom. It's strange, but I think coming through the adversity of an abusive relationship has made me even strong than I was before my ex tore my self esteem to shreds. I give credit for that to linking up with other survivors and having a great support system with my mom, sister, and close friends who have been supportive of me. I've only lost about 5 friends in ending things with my ex, but the ones who stuck by me are so amazing and I'm so grateful for them. In leaving my ex I've gained more than I've lost though. I took back what he took from me- ME.

People shouldn't be surprised that this happens in the homes of law enforcement personnel. In fact, as a demographic, law enforcement personnel, have the highest rate of domestic violence, alcoholism, and suicide - nationwide!

Oprah's show left out one important thing: Women who are abused, whether verbally or physcially, can always access help through their local Domestic Violence hotline (another name for it is Battered Women's Services). The National Domestic Hotline number is 1800-799-SAFE. The National Sexual Assault Hotline is 1800-656-HOPE.

Many women are too scared to call the police, they think the police won't believe them, or they are simply in denial. PLEASE PLEASE call the resourcs above for help. They are there to assist you with many services such as making you aware of the many ways the abuser controls you that you might not be aware of, counseling, advocacy in court, orders of protection, family court. It goes on. Knowledge is power, you must take it away from your abuser and the gain the power for yourself. You can do this, I did. Reach out for help to the numbers above. All the talk in the world will not help, you must take action.

morelife64, how do you know you are being infuriated by women who truly did make a false accusation?

For just one example of how a real rape victim can be falsely accused of lying, read the book Cry Rape:The True Story of One Woman's Harrowing Quest for Justice by Bill Lueders. This story about a case about a legally blind woman, raped by an intruder, in Madison, Wisconsin was bullied into recanting, could have easily ended with everyone believing that she was indeed lying about being raped by a stranger.

Thanks to the persistance of the rape victim she eventually saw the charges against her dropped and saw her rapist convicted thanks to a DNA match that came from evidence that the original investigators ignored. Many other real rape victims don't have any physical evidence which shows that their claims of rape are true so they are stuck with the unjust label of liar.

Maybe I missed something, but morelife64 isn't accusing anyone on here of lying? Or on the show?

I wasn't saying that morelife was making any claims about specific individuals. I was saying that we can't assume that because someone recanted a rape allegation or has been charged with a crime related to the reporting of rape that this person is in reality a liar. The same abusive tactics which can be used to gain false confessions have been used to gain false recantations.

Because of the mythology behind the statement "women lie about rape" many people will assume that the police are always right when they turn on those who report being raped.

Oh ok, thank you for clarifying! I see what you're saying, and I agree.