I don't know about other areas, but in San Jose, the YWCA is a wonderful resource for women in trouble. Our office even has housing available for women and children. They also offer low-cost counseling services.

I realize that spousal rape is a hideous act that is truly a sick crime. But, there are women out there in America that use the term "rape" for their own twisted means. My husband was married briefly to a woman that has just recently accused him of rape- she claims this happened six years ago!!! She has absolutely no evidence that she was ever infact raped, and she has manipulated the jurisdictional system to aggressively pursue a case against my him. My husbands ex-wife is incredibly jealous that he has moved on without her, she yells at him all the time that she is angry with him. I have heard her on several occasions tell him that she would set him up with something like this in order to keep their children from him! It's unfortunate that a case like this awaits attention in our courts system when there are real full-on rapist sickos out there that really need the courts time!

I think that today's show was very informative, but I disagree with what the attorney said. I know that laws vary by state, but it is also rape if you are unable to give consent due to drinking or taking strong pain relievers and some sleep medications. I think that this information is very important to get out as well.

Sue

My heart and prayers go out to her and all victims of rape.

Hope, I'm sorry you have to experience it, but I am glad that you were able to turn it into a positive. I'm glad that you were able to use it to find the strength to finally get out a relationship that was eating away at you.

Namaste!

Oprah said something about Bible folks writing her. So, here I am. Yes God tells us that divorce is only permissible in the event of infidelity. However, God also commands husbands to love their wives just as Christ loved the Church. He is to love her with absolute self-sacrifice! Women of faith out there may be white-knuckling a marriage to an abusive man; fearful of disobedience to the Lord. My heart and my prayers are with you as you choose LIFE and remove yourself from the abuse!

With all my love,
JillianHK

I did see the show, and yes, these women WERE truly vitcims. BUT! I'm speaking from the other side of the issue. Too many women today use the system to hold a man hostage. I agree with the writer you took issue with. Golddiggers aplenty are out to rob a man of his money, posessions, and property the easy way. Lie.

That's right. LIE. Any woman has the power to ruin a man's life with one phone call and a lie. A close friend of mine was driven to suicide by just such a woman a few years ago. After it was all over, she merrily went her own way, looking for, and finding, several more men to fleece since.

It nearly happend to me 7 years ago. I was lucky. A sharp judge saw through this woman's lies and tossed the case out, as it should have been. It still cost me almost $5000.00 to clear my name, but it still didn't stop her from finding out where I worked and calling in outrageous lies and accusations against me. That snake cost me FOUR jobs in one year. and this was AFTER I was cleared in court. I couldn't get the District Attorney to press charges against her, because there "wasn't enough evidence of her wrongdoing."

Outrageous.

But it did force me to do one drastic thing. I sleep alone these days. Why? Because I don't trust women anymore. I'll trade a few minutes a day of cuddle time and closeness for the right....yes, I said the RIGHT...to protect my property and posessions from some golddigging snake. Germaine Greer and her army of man-hating feminazis have esentially turned marriage and relationships into failed social experiments. The system has NO protections against a woman bent on ruining a man's life and stealing everything he owns. Some will take issue over what I've said. Go ahead. Unless you want to start paying my bills, don't tell me I have no right to protect what's mine. I came far too close to losing it all over a lie told by a woman who refused to get out of my life, after alienating everyone I knew and costing me FOUR jobs because of her lies, and showing up on the premises of two of them and throwing screaming tantrums.

Never again will I ever go through that.

Hey, I'm 56 years old, anyway I'm no model anymore. I've long since had my day in the sun. I had more fun than one man ever deserved in my younger days. I sleep alone, yes. But I'll be keepoing what's MINE out of the hands of a pretty thief that has no right to it in the first place. A little cuddle time and a little warmth are fair trades for knowing a woman can't jerk my bed out from under me while I'm sleeping in it. And I'll always have my memories if I get too lonely. Only old age will ever rob me of those someday, not any woman.

Sorry to say,

But it DOES happen.

And no, it is not like:"Sorry Hon, but I need my beauty sleep if I want the crown on my head" but rather mental/remotional abuse then sexual - the ultimate degrading level
You cannot confuse the not likely mood with someone imposing/controling on you to HIS/HER desires

Desire within a couple is called Intimacy. Intimacy is what leads you with experimentation at all levels. If you do not reach that level, then you do not have a healthy marriage/relationship. Intimacy is that mutual agreement you got to work at. If you are not open enough - male or female - to what level of comfort and confidence you have -even though these levels can evolve and actually should - then you are doomed... and here goes again the cliches about men/women/etc

But anytime, someone forces/imposes on you, it is Rape: mental/emotional/physical.

I gather that you are a man. I have 2 sons -21 and 19. And sure they are guys. But they do think about how their own cravings are going to impact people. Not saying that they are perfect but at least they think about it. And we have open talks about it all. I am their mother and they are my kids and maybe if there are odds moments, there are no embarrassment in these conversations. We all strive to be the best we can - myself included. And I gathered that If I can better myself, I'd be a better Mom to these exceptional boys.

You got to aim HIGH in a relationship/marriage and not think that sex is your answer. Intimacy is because it allows you to explore at all levels. No headache involved

Like I said before, ANYONE can abuse, and ANYONE can BE ABUSED. This woman abused you, by slandering your name, causing you to lose jobs, draining your bank account in trying to stop her, and has caused you anguish.

I would tell you that not all women are that way, the same way I would tell any woman abused by a man that not all men are that way- but you seem content in your singlehood. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Congratulations on getting out of the nasty situation, however you resolved it! Here's to better days ahead!

When you, drule117, say "to reese1981: i hope you get caught before YOU hurt someone", you are assuming something that is probably not true. The problem is the definition of rape; it is very possible and probably that reese1981 would never hurt someone. I think that every example of rape in the show and in this discussion involves assault and crimes such as assault, and it is unlikely that anyone in these discussions disagree that assault is very wrong.

I think it is confusing many people to call assault rape. The comment from reese1981 is expressing a fear that many good people have that rape can potentially used by some women to prostitute themselves. Assault is bad and should be prosecuted, but if a woman can marry a man for his money and then withhold sex unless she gets materialistic things, then if it is wrong for the man to expect sex, it should be wrong for her to use sex to get materialistic things.

Assault is a crime and needs to be prosecuted. Women need to get away from a physically abusive environment and the physical abusive should be dealt with; usually it should be prosecuted as a crime. Mental abuse should also not be tolerated. Abuse should not be called rape; the term rape is confusing and diminishes the impact of the problem.

When the word rape is used in a traditional context, it is a very scary thing for women. It is very wrong. It is a violent act. I think use of the term in the context of a husband raping a wife is confusing for many people. Assault and abuse should be called assault and abuse.

AMEN, Madam! I couldn't have aid it better myself.

n6dzb9, what you are advocating for is turning a wife into property which has no more say in how it's used than a car does. Yet even cars -- that have no feelings -- react negatively to abuse, yet wives -- who do have feelings -- are supposed to react as if their husbands are treating them perfectly. That doesn't make abusive husbands look like particularly smart people.

If wives who are raped by their husbands react as if they are true rape victims then they aren't gold diggers when the marital assets are divided. The user is the abuser, not the victim who refuses to stick around for more of the same.

If you believe "His body becomes Her body and vice-versa" then she has the right to tell him when not to have sex. That means sex within the marriage needs to be completely mutual if it to abide by this agreement. It also means that you wouldn't do to your spouse what you wouldn't want done to yourself. If you wouldn't want to be raped by some man, then you have a moral obligation not to rape your spouse.

First of all I respect & feel very sorry for the beauty queen, because she IMMEDIATELY took action after the first beating. I have "NO RESPECT" nor do I feel any sympathy for the deputy sheriff. She should have known better being that she enforcing the law.....DUH!!!

I agree with you, Sleepless4. There are times I know I'm being a bit too cautious, and I know not all women are terrible. The problem is, too many today ARE. No one can tell the difference. I certainly can't.

Oh yes, I've longed for a warm touch. Many times, in truth, but I'm not to the point where I want to put myself in jepoardy again. As I said, the system is dead set against men anymore. I have no wish to fight it again. By the time I do become that stupid, what still works just fine, (if you get my drift), probably will no longer, and it won't matter. And the 50 lb. pot belly I've managed to build over the last 25 years generally does a great job of keeping women at bay today. They want some young, skinny stud, not some old man of 56.

As for the pot belly, I guess I'll just call it "insurance."