We all deal with death in our own way. The strongest ones always seem to be the ones dealing with the death/cancer the best. I just lost my father a few months ago of colon cancer, and he was stronger than anyone I know. He was the most decent man I ever knew. He fought for over 5 years, he started eating healthy years before he was even diagnosed. He went through the surgeries, chemotherapy, as well as every miracle cure that was available. He was a General Contractor, building homes,and residential additions to family homes. He didn't stop working until he completed every single project he had, as well as trying to complete restoring the home him and my mother bought 6-7 years ago. A home he knew my mother would not be able to keep because he had no life insurance or anything else to leave her. He felt the only thing he could do was to donate his body to science for research, as to help others. It was just the type of man he was. He was so sick, but he never let anyone know just how bad he was, he just wanted to finish what he started, and make sure everyone was happy. And man was he anal about his work. A man who took pride in what he did, but mostly to make everyone around him happy. Last spring he really started getting sick, and could do very little, (even though he did,at least till he couldn't anymore.) I'm one of his 5 children, and we've all had, including my parents a tough way through this thing we call life. Just like the other 50% of the world. But we keep our faith and we keep on trying. All I'm saying is to stay close to those you love, because they could be gone at anytime. My oldest brother is a "Manic Depressant, Sycophantic" and has been in and out of hospitals most of his life. We haven't seen him for over 10-15 years since he took off to CA to preach. Mostly in and out of institutions. My parents spent most of their life trying to help him, and he was someone who didn't want help. He mostly told my parents they were going to Hell because they hadn't given their life over to Christ. I guess he forgot that our parents were the ones who taught us about GOD, and gave us our faith. Now he was just let out of a facility after dealing with pancreatitis ,and being diagnosed with Diabetes. Now my Mom fears she'll get a call they found him on the streets from his newest sickness. My younger brother who was one of the youngest, one of a twin died in a car accident in 1991, he was my best friend and the best of all of us. God did he look like my Dad! Now there's only 3 of us children here to help my Mom. And I can barely talk to her because I'm so sad, I don't want her to have to deal with my problems. She has always been my strength and her and my Dad were always there for us no matter what. And boy, did we always put them though the "no matter what" part. I'm just so devastated by his death, and asking why have all these terrible things happened to us? While my Dad was at home in hospice care, my home of 15 years burnt down. And I have 5 children and a disabled husband. We rented and had no renters insurance and nowhere to go when they condemned our home. So we stayed in a hotel for over a month while I tried and ultimately found a new rental. But this was just another trial for us, and my children have certainly paid the price. But to see my Dad wanting to get out of his bed and help us, trying to give me money he didn't have. The one thing I did was to make sure, I never mentioned anything bad, or sad to him, but to let him know just how much he is loved,and that he was the best father no matter how he felt. Just to know that he would always be there was enough to keep us going. But this is of course another story. Sadly we could be the topic of sooooo many Oprah shows! I just want to say to Always keep the faith, no matter how hard. I read some of the message boards re: this show, and know how difficult it is to go day by day, when you don't have money $$ in your life to know that everything will go smoothly. I know that if my family didn't have God on our side we would have never made it this far. I may still sit and cry everyday about my loss and the state of OUR WORLD as messed up as it is,but you've got to keep on going. One thing that does help me, other than my anti-depressants is a book I read when my little brother died, "When Bad Things Happen To Good People", it was written by a Rabbi, I'm sorry I can't remember the authors name. I passed the book on years ago. But he said that "It's a random world, and random things happen" It just seemed to make sense to me, and It is one of the things I carry with me. I really don't know why I'm writing or should I say going on like this, but I think its because you can't just hold things in, and that life does go on. Heck I got fired from my job weeks after my father passed, and don't have any idea how I'm even going to pay my bills next month. But no matter what things could always be worse, and God bless these strong people that can get up and fight all the way to the end, and just hope that soon it will be the end of Cancer for good. Were all going to die, its just how and when some of us just don't know. The show ended while I was writing this letter, and I ultimately stopped crying. I just want to personally Thank You for having the Courage and the strength to go on Oprah to tell your story. May God bless all of you, and KEEP THE FAITH!!!!!*