I am looking forward to watching your show on Friday.

Ironically, October 19th would have been my 33rd wedding anniversary. However, at 25 years my former husband divorced me and shortly thereafter married his boss, a woman who had been married 3 times before. She had actively pursued him, calling him at home disquised as business matters, traveling to fun and exciting locales under the premise of business meetings. On my birthday, she and he were in Disney World (after business) to show her preschool daughter the sights.

He professed to be a family man who was not only Mr. Catholic but voiced his strong objections to divorce. I was in total shock that he would go against his church and our family that included three teen-aged daughters. His justification was that I was crazy and he had to leave the marriage. He gave our three daughters an ultimatum that they had to chose which parent to be with. Our middle daughter chose me and he has abandoned her 100%. In over seven years, the other daughters have had no contact with me and only a few contacts that my daughter with me initiated.

I moved back to our home town and am in contact with his extended family He has cut them out too. They have been very supportive of me. When my oldest daughter married in 2004, her step-mother was listed as her mother. At a country club wedding of 160 guests, the only relative there was her paternal grandfather besides her father and other sister.

The new wife (ex-mistress) has gotten not only my husband but my daughters as well. As difficult as this is, I'm afraid the new wife has probably had many surprises along the way. Even the girls would say that who he was to everyone else and who he was to us was two different people.

If the girls were in my life I would be perfectly content that the mistress is now the wife. It was a difficult marriage and once I got through it, I've been very relieved that I no longer have to be the person and family that he thought we should be. It was all about appearances in the community. Behind closed doors, he was not who he professed to be. I am sure by now the mistress is well aware of this.

I always say that she got what she wanted and deserved.

As a woman I have listened to these stories of "alleged betrayal" and always, I mean always, thought that the done wrong wife was the victim; but now I have learned to weed through the facts after having lived long enough to "get it" that there are two sides to every story and now I try to understand what would cause a man to leave or stray from a long term marriage. I have asked men caught or divorcing "why" and after hearing these men out I have come to the conclusion that while there is absolutely no justification for having affairs that sometimes these "marriages" are shams and people got into them and stay in them for all the wrong reasons. If a marriage ceases to fulfill what BOTH parities should have discussed and agreed what they want their marriage to be, then there should be a divorce. Now leaving civilly and in a mature manner becomes problematic when folk rest on placing guilt on one or the other because of some interpretation of what God has to say about staying in a relationship that probably has evolve to little resemble God's intent for the state of marriage. I mean no harm to you, but it is kinda of telling that two of your teenaged daughters went to dad. If your husband indeed informed his daughters that they must make a choice between you and he; then he was wrong, but I get the gist that we are reading one side of the "whys" from your relationship for I know from my own divorce that children tend to have no side unless they are forced to become pawns in what should be only the uncoupling of mom and dad; not the destruction of the love bonds that they have for both parents. Move on and wish your ex and his new wife well for the sake of your daughters. If he or she is a cad, then let God reveal this in his way and in his time, but you should refrain from getting into muck over their relationship

First off, there is absolutely nothing "the other woman" could say that would save my marriage. That's plain laughable. A man is going to do what he wants to do regardless of what I, as his wife, know.

I think "the other women" must be very lonely and have little self respect. I hardly like to share my clothes let alone my man! The fact that a woman will give up "the goods" and then he get to come home and sit on the couch with his wife, would be enough to make put me in a deep depression. LOL It doesn't make sense. Sex is the one sacred thing so many of us have left to share and you just wanna give it to someone who is going to take it and then leave you where he got "it" from? I don't think so.

Ofan, hear these women out. From what I can get from your post your situation is not like those these women will probably describe; and dear it is not true that a man will do what he wants to "running around" and you have to accept that. I used to think that it was all the fault of the adulterous decision making party and was always ready to burn those who cheated until a dear and respected professional male colleague ( not a serial hound-dog type) I caught cheating on his wife shared with me the "whys" he had an "other woman". I was ready to hang this man until I heard from him and got it somewhat verified from the being cheated on wife that their "marriage" had years ago become a financial partnership. Some of these being cheated on women are not worried about sloppy firsts or seconds because that part of their relationship died long ago and they are in these sham marriages for things that would make ya head spin. I say if it ain't working then divorce and work at getting to what could make ya life a little more fulfilled. The other woman in the case I just shared, I was told, has been around some fifteen years and this guy has the means to ensure that the other gal is totally taken care of. In the relationship the other's education, housing( he brought her a really nice home close to his' and the wife's), transportation, healthcare, and I would guess just about everything else ( including helping her advance in our profession) was done. I want to hear these women out and my mind is open to hearing what they have to say.

I don't actually have a "situation", I was speaking in general and I never said a man can/will do what he wants to do and a woman just has to accept it. I said, a man is going to do what a man wants to do. There is nothing "the other woman" can say that will change what a man is going to do. You can obviously choose to work through it or leave your husband-but there is nothing you can do to make him NOT cheat if that's what he's looking for.

It's my opinion that there is no reason in the world that someone should be cheated on. If your "colleague friend" respected himself and his wife, a human being, he would have cut ties and walked or even ran away. There is no reason in the world why someone you married and obviously once loved should be deceived and you should be the one to do it.

I'm the other women too - I wanted so much to do this show but couldn't bear the thought of exposing my relationships and hurting there wife and kids or for that matter my own. Let me start by saying that I am very shameful for what I have knowingly been involved in. I didn't intend for this to happen. The guy sought me out and I was 6 months into when I found out he was married. We don't live in the same state and don't even see each other that often. I know its wrong but I love him and I just can't let go. I thought when I met this new guy who is also married but going through a separation things would be different but now I see the same thing going on. Men like this seek us lonely vulnerable women out. I did not go looking to get in theses type of relationships. I know that it takes two to make it work but it also takes 2 to mess things up. Never take for granted that you guy will not do this to you - I have done a personal survey and have found that 8 out 10 men given the opportunity to cheat with out getting caught would do it.

I didn't listen to my husband in regards to what he was asking of me and his cheating ended up being emotional, not physical. It That hurt me more than if he were to have slept with someone else. I came across a couple of very interesting programs on an online
radio station called KarmaAir.com that kind of put these matters into
perspective and I think this show may touch on some of the same elements. The foundation to any strong relationship in my opinion, is communication. If you have it, there should never be any cheating, of any kind.

I have been there as the "victim wife". My husband had an emotional and physical affair with my best friend. It was nothing short of devastating. My husband and I have children and had to work very hard to reconcile. I believe in him now, 2 years later. The hardest part for me is to try to understand why this "best friend" had absolutely NO remorse for what she did to me. I do know that she has many, many issues, but I always thought I would at some point get some type of apology. She did so many awful things to me and claimed to be a christian. Why is it that I can still be hurt by her and she shows nothing towards me?? We still live in the same town and have children in the same activities. I have to wonder at what point do I try to move on from this, it is still so hard. Is it odd that I would still want that apology??

Naw uh uh sister, you are not so hopelessly in love that you cannot tell this cad to get lost! Balderdash my dear, for you can help it who and what you love. He ain't your child and if he is insisting on being deceptive and this deception is wrecking your emotional health then you need to cut him loose. Cut him loose and find yourself a support group or some counseling to find out why you are involved with a man shamming on you and the wife. If their marriage is not working and they don't have that open marriage mess understanding then it needs to end and you should not be in his muck. As I posted I used to always blame the men, but after hearing far too many of these men I used to call "doggish" out I had to stop and acknowledge that there are two sides to every story and we women are not always innocent when it comes to SOME men creeping. Best Wishes to you and leave that guilt where it belongs before it wrecks your life.

She was never your friend. It is impossible to have "friendship" with a person with "issues". Don't welcome evil into your home and call it freindship. We women know these snake women when we see 'em, but we listen to our heart and not our spirits. She was a predator woman and probably laid in wait to wreck what she saw as a marriage she coveted. It is good that you "heard" your husband and your marriage is back on track. Don't hold your breath on that apology. Let it go and move on.

So you are the "other woman" and the first guy sought you out yet.......now you are with a new guy who is also married. You say you don't go looking for these relationships. I think you thrive on being the "other woman." So you have taken a survey and say that 8 of 10 men would cheat given the opportunity. Sounds like made up figures to try and justify your

so sorry to hear that you were betrayed by your husband and your "so called" best friend. She sounds like she has low self esteem and just wanted what you had.There are so many jealous miserable people out there I really feel sorry for them. You should try to find it in your heart to truly forgive her and move on with your life. If you can forgive your husband I know you can forgive her. When you do forgive her it's really for you because carrying around all that bitterness is not good for you or your marriage. I am in a bible study right now called Breaking Free by Beth Moore it is awesome and has lots of points that would help you heal. You sound like a very nice person with a big heart I wish you and your husband a very happy life.

Thank you for your insight!! I know you are right, it is just still so hard. I have forgiven her and would be willing to let her know that if she were to ever come to me. I have forgiven for my own healing as well as feeling she really needs it whether she deserves it from me or not. It amazes me that there are people out there with such lost souls. I believe that she is one of these people! Thank you again for your response.

ofan8888 you said it perfectly. Doesn't make a difference what the other woman has to say, men
are going to do what they want to do!

Take care of yourself, stay strong, stay happy. Life is short!

Again let me state that I'm not proud of what I have been doing. I am working on ways to better myself and distance myself from both of these relationships. My point is that there a lot more men out there than you think looking to have affairs. As I said before I did do my own survey and 8 out of 10 would do it if they were able to without getting caught. Please note in this interview process I did also find that the men that did have affairs and got caught had wished that they hadn't done it. As we all know the grass is greener on the other side. Men are big babies and can't handle competition with your work, school and even their own kids. What the consensus is that they want to be the center of attention and made to feel appreciated. Most say that after children the wife doesn't have a desire for sex and doesn't take the time to find out what his needs are. (I know this goes visa versa) By no means am I saying that has this justified what they do. I'm just giving you the feed back from the men. I know it's hard for women if not harder to deal with kids, home, career and come home and be miss sex kitten and subservient to your man but there has to be a balance. Thanks for listening.