I agree with the statement about the cost that Martha's daughter stated she spends per month on treatments. While the cost of IVF/ART runs high (especially with little to no insurance coverage), $28K a month is unreal, even for cycles where higher med dosages are required. I really think that Oprah (and the media in general) needs to give a more balanced, realistic view on surrogacy and/or ART. I shudder to think of how many couples viewed today's show and had their hopes dashed when that $28K per month came out. That might be the case for Alexis, but it certainly isn't for most women going through ART.

As far as God making decisions for us I do not see how one could look at my beautiful IVF son and tell me that God didn't have a part in him being here. Science can only take us so far.

While it was nice to see everything about surrogates, I wish there was more about what we really go through when we do IVF. Tomorrow is my egg retrieval, I'm 26, my husband is 27 and we've been trying for over a year and a half. After extensive testing we know we have a slim to none chance of ever getting pg on our own. So it's not just an age thing.

And I'm shocked at the people who say because we cannot have children the "natural" way, I'm selfish and irresponsible to persue other avenues of having a biological child. We've always wanted to adopt, we will consider it in the future whether or not we have a biological child. But the fantasy of having a child with my eyes and my husband's nose...that's a strong feeling and not one so simply given up. Why should infertile couples be relegated to solve the worlds overpopulation problem? We didn't ask for our problems, but since science is giving us a solution, we are going to take it.

If we should not contribute to the worlds problem, then why should anyone? Even if you can have children, why not adopt? A single solution is not always the right one for everyone. Do we want parents to adopt children when they would prefer a biological child? I personally would consider an adopted child and biological the same in my home. But not everyone would, and I would say it's to the child's detriment to be in a home they aren't truly wanted in. People ONLY adopt because they strongly desire that option, not because they are forced to.

I am offended by your recommendation to just adopt, be a foster parent, or just enjoy my marriage. Just because you would not have considered spending your life savings to have a baby doesn't mean others shouldn't do that. To my knowledge, there is not much cost difference between doing IVF or adopting. I chose IVF because it seemed like much more of a sure thing than adopting. I have multiple friends that have tried to adopt and ended up disappointed right before they were supposed to get their baby. My doctor said my odds were pretty good with IVF so I went that route. After years of fertility problems I didn't want to wait another year or more for a potential adoption that might not happen.

I thought this show was interesting, although the part with Alexis Stewart was somewhat frustrating. Who really has that much money to spend on treatements to have a baby? NOT realistic. I would love if Oprah would have Dr Oz or some doctor do a show on fertility/pregnancy and include infertility.

I certainly hear the frustration in the voices of those struggling with infertility. However, I struggle to understand this NEED to produce your "own" child. Where is the subject of adoption in this discussion? There exists a plethora of children needing loving, safe homes. Can you imagine how many children could be helped with $28K per month? I encourage everyone to look into adoption as a viable option.

I totally agree with you about Martha Stewart's daughter. The way she was conversing with Oprah it would seem that some of those drugs are affecting her brain. She is a spoiled brat who would be raising another spoiled brat.

I wish everyone would start addressing the issue of older fathers as well. There seem to be a lot of problems that occur because of older sperm (autism, etc.). We have been so focused on only females that we have created a society in which men think it's ok for them to wait to get married and have children. They don't feel compelled to take on any commitment. Because that has happened, there are many young women left with the choice of marrying an older man or not getting married. And now we are going to have a whole generation with fertility problems because of it. If men realized that their sperm "goes bad" too, then maybe people would get married and start families earlier. Oprah, PLEASE do a show on male fertility too. People often overlook it...and there is much research being done now (and more than needs to be done) to show that men need to get started earlier too. It will help our whole society!

I am happy to see this subject brought up. My husband and i have been going through the process for almost a year now. We are both under 30, we both have small issues that have stopped us. We have tried IUI for 6 months which did not work. Now we move on to IVF. We are lucky enough that health insurance does pick up some of the cost. The shots are crazy and tiresome. But of coarse we will go to any lengths to be parents. The cost of 28,000 a month is a little out there. We get the monthly bills and they are no were near that amount. Then again that would be Hollywood. I do wish them all luck. It has been a learning process.

While I understand women wanting to have their own children, and their frustration at not being able to conceive, I am offended that someone who admits to spending $28,000 per month trying to get pregnant is invited to be on Oprah's show, when there are so many people in this country and around the world who live in dire poverty.

Think about how much good that $28,000 per month could do to help children who are already on this earth.

I agree. Yes it is sad that she cannot have children. But rather then spending $28,000 a month trying, why not spend that money adopting a child that desperately needs a home.

She did mention she does "everything she can" and that total's to 28k. I would assume that means ALL the genetic testing, ICSI, acupunture, etc. We're not doing acupuncture, nor are we doing the genetic testing of each embryo that she does. I think she should have kind of listed the things she does that add up to that, because it's expensive to do IVF, but it doesnt have to be THAT expensive. More and more states also cover IVF and all medication, so for some people, it can be as little as a few hundred dollars for drug co-pays. I think that should have been mentioned.

Completely empathize with Alexis. Some of us waited for the the great guy to procreate with and found ourselves in our late thirties, early forties without a partner for life and a child. It's sad to see your opportunity to procreative diminish without your permission. Maybe it is more of a loss not to find someone with the same family goals.

I too was disappointed that things you can do healthwise were not addressed. I got a program from a microbiologist that she claims has worked in 95% of infertile couples she has worked with. It costs a lot less than $28,000 or IVF or several trips to India, it is safe and it is guaranteed. My husband was told there was a very good chance he couldn't have children because he had testicular cancer so I went into my marriage knowing there was a good chance that is what would happen. I decided if God wanted us to have children, he would show me how i.e. adoption, etc. IVF was almost nonexisting back then. We were blessed with two wonderful children much to our surprise. This was long before I had the program I have now. I do believe it's wrong to judge the women who are willing to be surrogates. I have lived in a third world country and the way people have to live is awful. The women having the children already have children of their own and I'm sure anyone on this board would do anything they could that is legal to provide a better environment for their own children. I was surprised that infertility is such a huge problem today. I think our food and our environment have to be playing a big role in this. If anyone is interested in trying a nutritional program that has worked for many infertile couples, please contact me. My email address is SheltonA@aol.com. Carol

I believe that when God will not allow you to get pregnant it means He wants you to adopt. It is as though He is asking you to do Him a special favor. There are so many children out there with no parents. Who will take care of them? You. The bible says to take care of the orphans. Who knows, perhaps when He reads your file on Judgement Day He will see what you did. He might even erase the bad things you did and say, "Come right in!!!"