Why Did I Get Married? Plus Tyler Perry And Janet Jackson

I was twenty and seven months pregnant when I met my husband. We were in the Army stationed in Germany. I just didn't understand why he wanted to be with me and I was already with child. Well the first thing he said was he just wanted to be my friend, and at anytime I needed someone to talk to he would be there for me. I went back home and had my son leaving him there with my grandmother and mother. It had been a year, and we (my husband and I) were growing closer together. He spoke to me one day and said I needed to go get our son. At that time he was saying,"I don't want to be friends anymore." When he said that I knew he was the one. Getting married so young was a challenge, but we have been married for eleven year. We started out being friends and that's the key to our relationship.

I got married because I met the most wonderful man in the world who is kind, loving, supportive and I could not imagine survivng life without him. I waited a long time - I was 41 - because I was looking for someone with special qualities and he adds so much joy to my life. Attributes like tall, dark & handsome don't last near as long as important qualities like kind, honest, loving and supportive! We share everything whether we agree or not and support mutual goals and faith. We have tough times and disagreements but we never doubt the other's love so we always manage to work it out. Marriage can be the most wonderful thing in the world if you always remember to respect each other. He's the best present I ever received!!!!

Why did I get married?

I have had to explain why I got married to everybody - family, friends, coworkers, strangers. Michael and I got married very young (him, 21 and me 19). Because of this we received A LOT of negativity from our family. We were constantly having to reassure them we knew the choice we were making, explain to them why we felt this was the right choice for us, and the extreme responsibility of this momentous decision. So what's a couple more people?
Michael and I are lucky to have found what we have found at this age. Neither of our upbringings were easy, and thats an understatement! Between the both of us we have dealt with abandonment, sexual abuse, drug addiction (of family), death, and the foster care system. The things that have happened to us our not what defines us, it has just helped us become better people and lead us in a path to each other.
With each other we have found the strength we could find in nobody else. We have an indescribable peace that we feel when we are with each other. We don't have to worry about our future because we focus on being happy in the moment, being content. We knew who we are as individuals and who we are as a partner and team.
I know that some of you are probably rolling your eyes and thinking to yourself that it sounds like something from a love story, a hollywood blockbuster, or that we are naive because of age. But please don't get me wrong, its not all roses. Michael and I have had and will continue to have our "moments." We do not call them "fights." Fight is described as a "struggle or combat." Our moments are neither. Every moment is a chance to learn. They are a "moment" to learn about each other, our feelings, and how to best grow (personally and together) from the experience.
We know that the greatest test of our relationship will be to grow up together, and not apart as so many couples let themselves. We will not let statistics and outside pressure effect our relationship. We are a unit, a solid unit.
And thats why I got married!

Heather

Oprah, My husband and I have been married for over 41 yrs. I got married because I knew I could not live my life without this man with me every day. Until 3 yrs ago, we never had enough time together. Now, I'm retired and work in the office of his small auto repair shop. It's wonderful! He says he feels like he's retired, because I'm there every day and he has only to work the way he thinks it should be done. He is definately a man of integrity. He has carried me through many difficult times. He's been there for all the good times. I never want to live a day without him. Sharon

If you think you are married to someone just because you have been together for ten years, then I think you need to look up what marriage is all about. That is not a marriage. You have just been wasting your time with someone for 10 years and nothing to show for it.

This month I will be married 45 years to the greatest guy ever! I think my original attraction was 'chemical' - he made my little box go around. Whenever I would see him or think about him, it was like a box would whirl in my chest. We probably would never get introduced thru something like eHarmony but we have had 45 wonderful years. Even today in spite of differences I have this physical attraction for him. ????

I watched my parents in their marriage and had decided I was getting married at age 19 just like my mom and having my first child at age 20. It didn't work out quite that way as I went to college. But I had a steady boyfriend in high school and ended up marrying him. We had issues, but all were small compared to what some people go through. I was a jealous and insecure person and always worried he would leave me for someone else. Not that he ever gave me a reason to think this would happen. Now I've been married for 3 years (been with him steadily for 10 years) and enjoy every minute. We were married when I was 23 and we had a baby when I was 25. Though my plan didn't work out the way I grown up thinking about, I have decided that this was the way it was supposed to be. My parents have been happily married for 28 years and counting. Both of their parents and grandparents are happily married as well. I grew up believing there was that perfect person out there to treat you how you want to be treated...end of story. I found that person and hope to teach my children that same belief. Relationships are changing today...but I do believe the traditional idea of marriage will overcome and there will still be happiness in marriage for years to come.

Just trying to see if my reply previously posted it read page closed and then my meesage was gone.

Hi Oprah & Tyler, God bless you both on everything you do to help people. I am one in need of your help. I have been married for 11yrs. 2 &1/2 months. The first 2yrs. were real good the balance has been a living Hell. I had mother-in law and baby momma drama and it still goes one to this day as I am presently in divorce court. My in laws are trying influencing my husband to screw over me in court and he listens as he has listen through the marriage. They could not bear us being happy and so they start destroying what we had. My husband is a functional alcoholic and throughout the years it has gotten out of control. He has never since we have been married stood up for us or me. I have asked him over and over again why he got married and he replies because he loves me. I can't see it nor did I feel it. I have been through two cerebral aneurysms and had one more and on April 19, 2007 God said no more so it is gone. My life story is one that I feel would help so many people who are yet still going through what I am dealing with. God told me long ago to contact the both of you. I have made attempts before but I have heard nothing. Does a person have to be famous before someone who is would take a leap of Faith and see if it could be worthwhile to hear? I have been around so many stars in my life and some were pleasant and some were so phony. Sometimes a person can not feel another's pain unless they have been there. Marriage is real, Life is real, and Love is real. I am a 52 yr. black woman that's had so many bad breaks but God has sustained me through it all. Hear me out what do you have to lose? I ask the question why when the preacher asked the guest at my wedding when anyone here feels why these two should not be married let them speak now or FOREVER hold their peace, why did not my mother-in-law, sister-in-law who by the way was my matron of honor speak. Why wait till when we are really happy you start problems up until the present. I do know that a person needs to find a spouse that loves God more than that spouse and then they would know how to love each other. You have my e-mail address please give me a reply before Tyler leaves town if possible I with your help feel we could make a Huge impact on marriages in the real life and in the spirit. What would Jesus do? May God continue to bless you and marriages. I know what it is to be evenly yoked, scrambled; over easy, boiled won't get it. I have a lot more to offer think about it and please get back.
Love you and I am a faithful supporter of you both.
Rhuetta E. Cochran-Meeks

Hi Oprah & Tyler, God bless you both on everything you do to help people. I am one in need of your help. I have been married for 11yrs. 2 &1/2 months. The first 2yrs. were real good the balance has been a living Hell. I had mother-in law and baby momma drama and it still goes one to this day as I am presently in divorce court. My in laws are trying influencing my husband to screw over me in court and he listens as he has listen through the marriage. They could not bear us being happy and so they start destroying what we had. My husband is a functional alcoholic and throughout the years it has gotten out of control. He has never since we have been married stood up for us or me. I have asked him over and over again why he got married and he replies because he loves me. I can't see it nor did I feel it. I have been through two cerebral aneurysms and had one more and on April 19, 2007 God said no more so it is gone. My life story is one that I feel would help so many people who are yet still going through what I am dealing with. God told me long ago to contact the both of you. I have made attempts before but I have heard nothing. Does a person have to be famous before someone who is would take a leap of Faith and see if it could be worthwhile to hear? I have been around so many stars in my life and some were pleasant and some were so phony. Sometimes a person can not feel another's pain unless they have been there. Marriage is real, Life is real, and Love is real. I am a 52 yr. black woman that's had so many bad breaks but God has sustained me through it all. Hear me out what do you have to lose? I ask the question why when the preacher asked the guest at my wedding when anyone here feels why these two should not be married let them speak now or FOREVER hold their peace, why did not my mother-in-law, sister-in-law who by the way was my matron of honor speak. Why wait till when we are really happy you start problems up until the present. I do know that a person needs to find a spouse that loves God more than that spouse and then they would know how to love each other. You have my e-mail address please give me a reply before Tyler leaves town if possible I with your help feel we could make a Huge impact on marriages in the real life and in the spirit. What would Jesus do? May God continue to bless you and marriages. I know what it is to be evenly yoked, scrambled; over easy, boiled won't get it. I have a lot more to offer think about it and please get back.
Love you and I am a faithful supporter of you both.
Rhuetta E. Cochran-Meeks

Hi Oprah & Tyler, God bless you both on everything you do to help people. I am one in need of your help. I have been married for 11yrs. 2 &1/2 months. The first 2yrs. were real good the balance has been a living Hell. I had mother-in law and baby momma drama and it still goes one to this day as I am presently in divorce court. My in laws are trying influencing my husband to screw over me in court and he listens as he has listen through the marriage. They could not bear us being happy and so they start destroying what we had. My husband is a functional alcoholic and throughout the years it has gotten out of control. He has never since we have been married stood up for us or me. I have asked him over and over again why he got married and he replies because he loves me. I can't see it nor did I feel it. I have been through two cerebral aneurysms and had one more and on April 19, 2007 God said no more so it is gone. My life story is one that I feel would help so many people who are yet still going through what I am dealing with. God told me long ago to contact the both of you. I have made attempts before but I have heard nothing. Does a person have to be famous before someone who is would take a leap of Faith and see if it could be worthwhile to hear? I have been around so many stars in my life and some were pleasant and some were so phony. Sometimes a person can not feel another's pain unless they have been there. Marriage is real, Life is real, and Love is real. I am a 52 yr. black woman that's had so many bad breaks but God has sustained me through it all. Hear me out what do you have to lose? I ask the question why when the preacher asked the guest at my wedding when anyone here feels why these two should not be married let them speak now or FOREVER hold their peace, why did not my mother-in-law, sister-in-law who by the way was my matron of honor speak. Why wait till when we are really happy you start problems up until the present. I do know that a person needs to find a spouse that loves God more than that spouse and then they would know how to love each other. You have my e-mail address please give me a reply before Tyler leaves town if possible I with your help feel we could make a Huge impact on marriages in the real life and in the spirit. What would Jesus do? May God continue to bless you and marriages. I know what it is to be evenly yoked, scrambled; over easy, boiled won't get it. I have a lot more to offer think about it and please get back.
Love you and I am a faithful supporter of you both.
Rhuetta E. Cochran-Meeks

Hi Oprah & Tyler, God bless you both on everything you do to help people. I am one in need of your help. I have been married for 11yrs. 2 &1/2 months. The first 2yrs. were real good the balance has been a living Hell. I had mother-in law and baby momma drama and it still goes one to this day as I am presently in divorce court. My in laws are trying influencing my husband to screw over me in court and he listens as he has listen through the marriage. They could not bear us being happy and so they start destroying what we had. My husband is a functional alcoholic and throughout the years it has gotten out of control. He has never since we have been married stood up for us or me. I have asked him over and over again why he got married and he replies because he loves me. I can't see it nor did I feel it. I have been through two cerebral aneurysms and had one more and on April 19, 2007 God said no more so it is gone. My life story is one that I feel would help so many people who are yet still going through what I am dealing with. God told me long ago to contact the both of you. I have made attempts before but I have heard nothing. Does a person have to be famous before someone who is would take a leap of Faith and see if it could be worthwhile to hear? I have been around so many stars in my life and some were pleasant and some were so phony. Sometimes a person can not feel another's pain unless they have been there. Marriage is real, Life is real, and Love is real. I am a 52 yr. black woman that's had so many bad breaks but God has sustained me through it all. Hear me out what do you have to lose? I ask the question why when the preacher asked the guest at my wedding when anyone here feels why these two should not be married let them speak now or FOREVER hold their peace, why did not my mother-in-law, sister-in-law who by the way was my matron of honor speak. Why wait till when we are really happy you start problems up until the present. I do know that a person needs to find a spouse that loves God more than that spouse and then they would know how to love each other. You have my e-mail address please give me a reply before Tyler leaves town if possible I with your help feel we could make a Huge impact on marriages in the real life and in the spirit. What would Jesus do? May God continue to bless you and marriages. I know what it is to be evenly yoked, scrambled; over easy, boiled won't get it. I have a lot more to offer think about it and please get back.
Love you and I am a faithful supporter of you both.
Rhuetta E. Cochran-Meeks

That's so beautiful! I am such a sucker for romance and love. My partner and I are planning to be married in Sept.2008 and we knew very early that we were in love and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. That's why I posted "I am not only in love with him, I LIKE him." And that's the key, you can't just love someone you have to actually like the person. Congratulations to you and your marriage and your family.

I had to come back and reply to this again. I posted yesterday that "I not only love him, but I LIKE him". That is very important. You have to really like the person you are married to or plan to marry. My partner and I have been together for three years and have plans to marry on September 13, 2008.Our first date was September 17, 2004 and after getting engaged, he chose the date because he wanted to keep it as close to our original first date as possible.(Sweet, right?) When I say you have to like the person, in our situation, you really do. We live together, we work at the same company, we take classes at the same college.People ask us, "Don't you get tired of each other?" We laugh because it's not an issue, we actually like each other, so seeing each other as much as we do in the course of a day, is great. Now we do have some seperate times apart, like his football time (Dedicated Eagles Fan), his other family members. I have my other family members and girlfriends. He works every other weekend with a day off during the week and I work Monday through Friday, off every weekend. It actually works out to the point we don't get tired of seeing each other. We still are very content with watching a DVD movie at home, or going out to the theatre.He likes Oprah...we set the DVR to record and watch it together. We always have something to talk about. We are both in school and take our studies very important. So we must have our own private study time. Falling in love with him was the easy part. On our second date we were discussing each others goals for the future, what we wanted and didn't want and he hooked me when he cried. He cried because he was so happy to have found someone with the same goals and desires in life that he had. We were so on the same page it was scary. We hugged each other so tight that night and we have not let go. At the time we both were not looking for anyone and had reached a point of being okay with being alone in our lives. See, we are not young chickens and have been through some things in life and we both know what we want and refuse to settle for anything less.The two reasons this all works out is because one, God intended for it to and two, we not only are in love, but we like each other!

Because he makes me tingle everytime I looked at him and still does 30 years later. Simply right.

I can't wait to see today's episode! And, the movie too, of course!!! I just got married about a month ago (Sept. 1, 2007) and, honestly, I am questioning "Why did I get married again?" - - i think my "mature" ... or "intelligent" answer is that this is the natural course that I want my life to take. I want my "life story" to be forming a new family with the man I love. And, I love him. (Never loved another.) So, what's to stop me? And, I guess: part of it has to do with a spiritual side to my approach to life. I'm spiritual (Catholic but not textbook Catholic) and I just feel that God did intend for us to take care of each other. WE are not in this world alone, not an "island" to ourselves. Well, I don't want to get too "preachy" - but, i certainly do ask myself this question. See, I loved my singlehood. Loved it, loved it, loved it. But, if I had to be honest with myself, I can't just clown around forever and spend every Friday night at the Karaoke bar with my girlfriends. ... (or can I?) No, really: I truly believe I'm following God's plan for my life. I like to believe that He does have a "design" for each of us. Yes, that's my answer!

I have been married for a little over a year now! I absolutely love it. I got married to the most loving man who is my best friend and my inspiration. Nothing better than spending the rest of your life with someone who you can tell anything to, cry with, laugh with, and always count on that they will be right there to share in all your joys and all you sadness. I did not grow up with parents who had a perfect marriage, but they tried and gave me the best life I could ever ask for and I hope to do the same for my children. Things may never be perfect but life is not perfect-you learn and get through it! Marriage is amazing and I am truly blessed to be married!

Nancy6902 - what a great response. Today is we are celebrating our 32nd wedding anniversary, and yes, after all these years he does make me tingle. When he calls me on the phone it always puts a smile on my face. I not only like him, but adore and love him so very much. He is my best friend and after all these years we still have fun together, make each other laugh and love each other passionately.