I seldom hear discussion about "Community Leaders" in their multi-Thousand Dollar suits who +Preach+ +*Entitlements*+, but never +Teach *Responsibilities*+

Bill Cosby is right on the money.People can get angry and upset and deny the truth if they want to but in the end it is hurting us, our children, our community and our livleyhood all together. We as black people MUST look at the bigger picture and realize that defeat and succes all begins in our thinking and our character. We are all a work in progress but we have to make sure we are truely looking at the situation and thinking about what the lasting effect will be when we make certain choices (myself included of course). I am a 33 year old mother of a 10 year old boy and my greatest wish is to raise my son to be a ambitious,educated,active,well rounded,conscience,respectful man who has values, morals, thinks for himself, and doesnt succumb to peer pressure. Ive begin to notice some of his behavioral patterns and I am not pleased with some of the things he may do and say.When I noticed these thing I had to take a step back and look at myself and say "Am I all that I want him to be". I had to take a hard painful look at myself and I mean ALL OF ME. As I did that I began to realize the long list of issues in my family and the way I was raised and how my mother was raised as well.Its a cycle and what Im doing now in my life is BREAKING THAT CYCLE because its killing me, my family, my friends, my community.I love my race but I KNOW for a fact that its time for us to WAKE UP AND STOP BLAMING OTHERS AND LOOK AT OURSELVES.Im starting with me, and I know that it will trickle down to my son and inturn his children an so on.THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS EPISODE IT WAS WELL NEEDED...

Have we really made it out of the ghetto? By the way I hate this word being applied only to where black people live. I have seen so many black people who have prospered do the same things the people in the "ghetto" do, only in more luxurious surroundings. The womanizing still goes, the drug abuse still goes on, etc. Still the same mindset, just in more luxurious surroundings under the pretense that their well-paying job and MBA has changed them and made them superior. But again, its a conversation no one wants to have.

Why is Bill Cosby wearing dark sunglasses? I had a very hard time concentrating on what he had to say because I couldn't see his eyes. Does he have eye problems? Perhaps someone out there can help me to understand.

I am a 31 year old white woman who found herself in tears today watching this show. I do not have any children yet however, I was a NYC teacher for a brief time. Mr. Cosby's words ring so true they went straight to my heart. I've seen first hand the hopefulness of these young children when they are in the classroom. They may have showed up to school in their brother's tank top,basketball jersey in the middle of December - but they are still present and paying attention to our actions. I think there is an innate desire to be good and 4, 5 or 15 they are able to know what they want to strive for and the kind of person they'd like to be. This world needs more good people and in it's in each one of us to be a better parent, an aunt, a teacher or a friend. We are all one and we need each other more today than ever before. Let us care for our future and be accountable in our lives. The children need us..

Dear Oprah, I am a first grade teacher. I work in an elementary school, in Edmonds, WA, in what most people take for granted is in a fairly affluent community. So when I share that we have a challenging population of kids people are surprised. If you work in education you know that the indicator of a challenging population might be the free and reduced lunch count. Although we have almost 50% on free and reduced lunches there are many schools that have a much higher number. This number is an indicator of the number of families that are impacted by poverty, families living on mininum wage, homelessness, single parent families, latch key kids, hunger, abuse, you name it. In this country we are often looking outside our borders to solve the very visible needs of other countries. However we are foolish to assume that because we are such an affluent country we do not have the needs, that by comparison other third world countries have, they just look different. We had a woman, named Ellen Keene, who teaches teachers tell us that as she began traveling the country she found schools where there were rats running around in the building so the kids and teachers could not sit on the floors, she told about schools where the families could not afford to bring the kids the long distance to school and the district could only bus the kids at the beginning of the week to school and then the students had to sleep in the school till the end of the week when the bus would take them home. This is in our affluent country? All is not equal because schools are forced to get money in archiac ways through levies and often the money from the state is discretionary, promised but taken away to balance short budgets. In our state the voters voted twice to lower class size and our district just raised the number of students per class and raises are often voted for but taken away. Washington does not rank well in how they treat their teachers or schools. As teachers we are looking at sanctions that will be imposed by our No Child Left Behind Act for failing schools so how come we have abolished corporal punishment for students but they get to use a big stick on educators. (That's logical - you're fired if you can't make all kids learn the same and meet the same standards even if they are homeless). Study the criteria for what makes you a failing school and you'll see some poorly thought out standards. The No Child Left Behind Act has a whole lot of requirements but no monetary backing (Study the impact of testing at the school level and the district level. It impacts our building because all the available bodies are pulled from assisting kids in the grades where they are just learning to read,1st and 2nd grade, for a three to four week period.) It would be nice if the federal government put their money where their legislation is. The thing is if we can't get our kids to come in the front doors and forget that they didn't have breakfast this morning and that their parent was screaming at them or that they are getting evicted and have to find a new home tonight (or whatever) how can we expect our kids to be ready learners. I greet my kids with a hug every morning and most of the day the biggest push in my room is getting angry kids in my class to learn how to get along with others and encouraging them to care about doing their best. I was frustrated by Bill Cosby's response to the young teacher who asked what to do about absent parents, "Just go out there and hunt them down in the parking lot." Or your comment about another teacher who visited his students homes. The solution cannot rest solely on teachers shoulders, our shoulders aren't that broad. As it is most teachers work far beyond their paid work days and I can often be found putting in time on the weekends. Not to mention the money I have to put out to buy books for my classroom library or my kids wouldn't have books to read in class. No they don't give us books for a classroom library. And yes I have to pay for continued education blah blah blah blah blah. I have very difficult students and invariably this is true every year, children seem to be getting more and more challenging! We don't get to hold a big stick out to get kids to behave we have to find creative ways to get kids to buy in. One way is to make kids believe you love them,no matter what they do, because if for no other reason often times they begin to make the right choices because they care about what you think. Some days I go home and feel like I don't have an once of energy or patience and I am emotionally tapped out because there are so many needy kids that I give it away to. It is a very challenging job and not for the meek of heart but at the same time can be very rewarding. But don't ask teachers to do more, yes it's a mission, but we have to get filled up to keep giving so much! What are the solutions - we need supports in our schools that support families in need. We need to SEE the poverty in this country and find ways to support the families and the teachers who can be so critical (as you said on your show) to inspiring kids to be all that they can be.Sunni Maissen

I have never before felt so compelled to respond to a topic on your show, although there have been many, this I had to repond! Firstly, I LOVE YOU OPRAH and not second, I LOVE YOU DR. COSBY. I am a 45 yr. old white female and am sure that this epidemic problem does not only pertain to the black population. Although I do not live in a housing project here in Louisiana, since Hurricane Katrina, the standard of living is in a sprial down fall that I am sucked into. I do have a 17 yr. old boy and an 8 yr. old girl. They both attend private schools. Before Katrina I was struggling to make ends meat, but now, HELP!!!! I know that PRIVATE SCHOOL sounds posh to most people, however, in New Orleans, if you don't want your child to end up like those spoke about on your show, its a MUST. And still, my son (in high school, on the football team) falls short of my expectations. I AM THE PARENT, I DO ENFORCE THE RULES and still no results. What do I do? The world seems to suck these little people in no matter how involved your are.

Watching your show today gave the impression that the problems with dad's not playing an active part in childrens lives was a large problem in the black community. That may not have been the intent of the show but it certainly came across that way.

I'm a single (caucasion) mother of an 18-year old son. His father is not what I would consider "present" in his life either. He thinks if he is paying child support, he is doing his part. I would consider myself a low/middle class family. He would be considered a upper/middle class family. He remarried when my son was around 3 or 4. His wife had a child the same age from a previous marriage and he is a vital part of "their" family. He has built floats for his step-daughters parades, attends her school functions, cooks for her church/school parties. All the while, my son does without a father. My ex has never been to one of my son's golf tournaments. He did not attend his National Honor Society Induction. He has made him sleep in their motor home because he was not welcome in their home while visiting them. The list goes on and on. I have numerous girlfriends who are single moms as well and they continue to have the same problems I do. Dads not attending events. Only being a father by sending that monthly check. Do they not understand how that affects their children. It leaves an empty spot in their hearts. They think somehow that they are to blame for the "lack of participation". When the reality is that the ex-husband is usually punishing the ex-wife for something. I can explain that over and over to my son but I know it still hurts him when he looks up and his Dad is not visible at one of his functions. Ex-husbands know that a mother will not turn her back on her kids and will do everything in their power to see that they don't do without and that they have what they need. Therefore, they continue to pull these stunts.

Thank you for having this show but please understand, it is just as rampid in the white community as in the black community.

Rene'

Dear Oprah, I am one of "your" teachers. I was referred to as this in the Superintendent's office of the third largest school district in Texas, Fort Worth today. I was with you November 20, 2004. I have taught for 25 years and all of those with at-risk minority students. I sometimes feel I am to token white woman who is accepted and embraced to be included as woman who understands minority society as it is and as it can be. As I listen to my recorded Bill Cosby today, I was both saddened and hopeful about the topics brought about today. I do feel them as the truth and have battled with them for the last 13 years of teaching. But as a Anglo, have often felt I could not express these thoughts with black folk because I was white. Now if they knew me, they have no problem with including me sharing, because they knew that I my thoughts and feelings came out of a deep love. BUT when I put all color aside, I want to tell you that I have stated to all my friends of my age that we, as a generation, have done the worse job of parenting in the history of the world. We need to worry. We need to correct and teach these young people. We need to continue to parent them beyond elementary school. The consensus is that because the children look and try to act older, that parenting is complete by the age of 11 or younger. Patience and persistence is not easy, and often times, parents do not reach inside or believe in themselves enough to keep being the parent. Oprah, please consider doing a show about the state of parenting in our country among all races. Our values are so askew or non existent, that our children can not help but lack values. As you know, teachers take on many roles, parenting being one, but the balance is leaning towards others like educators to take over the responsibility that parents should have. I am 47 and ashamed of my generation, all colors and races. We are in trouble. Perhaps we need to teach the parents it is not to late to become a proud parent that can pass the pride onto their children. It is never to late to help a child or for someone to help themselves. With Deepest Love and Admiration "Your Teacher" Dawn Vissotzky Geckles

I have to responde to this. This is an AMERICAN problem. I live in Philadelphia. Well, right outside of it, in a very weathly part . These kids are raised for the most part by housekeepers and they are raising themselves. While mom and dad are in Aspen, Johnny is doing whatever he pleases..... My daughter who is 16 and I go round and round all the time because so and so can stay out until...... but she has to be in at 10:00, and I have to know where she is going. By the way "OUT" is not a place. I am her mother not her friend. She has a friend that shows up everyday at dinnertime which I thought was odd at first. So I finally asked her. Casey, is everything okay at home, she said " oh, yes, it is just that no one in my house eats at the dining room table together, and I love doing that so, I come here to eat, I hope that is okay. " Both of her parent are great lawyers, lots of money, HUGE house. No one has time for anyone else in her family they have "demanding careers". Trust me, I have seen the inner city kids of Philly and yes we have issues there but, we have just as many with the weathly kids. Bottom line is Parents are not being Parents in all walks of line, in all cultures, in all classes. Just think about where we are going to be when the "ME" kids start running the world.

I don't want to make it sound like I'm attempting to inject politics into this comment as I respect everyone's opinion of who they want for the next President, but I wonder if anyone realizes the major social economic impact if Barack Obama, a minority, an African American, takes office. I think there will be a major shift in the self esteem to many, many African American males that it IS possible to become anyone you want to be in the life. And I might venture that this will also benefit many other minorities like Latinos and Asians. A brand new way of framing life for these youth on what is possible, aside from going into sports or entertainment or on the negative side, to crime and drugs. What could come of this conscious and subconscious shift in self esteem for these kids? Less kids wanting to join gangs, more males taking responsibility for their kids and lowering the prison population. In a country where our past is shrouded with a history of slavery, this is huge, because it will benefit the entire country forever.

I have never been so disappointed in the Oprah Show as I was today. Although I agree with everything Bill Cosby said about raising children today, I couldn't help but think about how quickly the women who all accused him of sexual misconduct are forgotten. Obivously success and money allows you to get away with anything. I guess people are watching too many reruns of Dr. Huckstable and forgetting that he and Bill Cosby are not the same person. Oprah why didn't you address the expectations we all have of this role model that you seem to idolize.

Thanks Oprah for continuing to air dynamic & informative shows. Please continue to bring forth knowledgeable & inciteful guest as you did today. "Come On People" is a book that I will posess! Standing up for what you believe in is not just a show of strength, but an altruistic & shinning beckon to all Black people. The title of the book, having come from a statement made by Bill Cosby's grand-daughter, exemplifies an early show of the magnificent brilliance our children posess. I understand this show follows a previous show where Mr.Cosby tells it like it is! Didn't see that show, but listen to/overheard some very negative comments made by some other Blacks. Being a mature Black woman, this type of stupidity sickens me. Sure, no one wants to own & stare today's horrific truths in the face; especially when perpetrated & victimized by our own race. Lashing out is a cowards' way out. Dr.Ponce (Pls.forgive spelling?) said it quite eloquently; to paraphrase, "As Blacks, we are wallowing in the makings of our own demise." I agree. I applaud the Grand-mother who accepted the challenge of caring for & guiding her grand-children in the right ways of living, even in the midst of such heart-ache & pain. My heart felt sympathy to the parents who lost their son to another act of senseless violence; that continues to destroy & shake Blacks @ our very core. My prayer is that, as a people/culture, we regain/maintain our Strengths, Values & Pride in ourselves. GO DEEP W/IN YOUR SOUL, BOTH YOUNG & OLD...from the inside out MY BELOVED. How very proud I am to know that the cradle of civilization/humans started in Africa. That shouts to me, "I AM SPECIAL INDEED!" Love & peace to all, Saraswati1

Believe or not I found out that mostdrugs and drinking I woke up on a very scary situa teenagers do not sleep in their beds on weekend nights they all sneek out to party in any vacunt house and do lots of drugs and drikind I woke up one night on a very scary situation while I thought my son was in his bed please check you sons or daughters room during night to make sure they are there everynight.