open marriage

Posted on Sep 25, 2007 3:59 PM

Okay, not that there is anything wrong with it, and not that it makes any difference...but trust me--that guy...the husband in the open marriage couple..is gay.
Replies: 38
1. Re: open marriage
Sep 25, 2007 4:13 PM   |   In response to: emmahh

Oh my god. I am glad I am not the only one who was thinking that. The reason the husband is ok with his wife having a boyfriend is because he is gay! That was so painfully obvious!

2. Re: open marriage
Sep 25, 2007 4:44 PM   |   In response to: emmahh

You took the words right out of my mouth. He is sweeter than brown sugar. He was the only man she had been with. No wonder she wanted to get with another man. What's up with this open marriage thing anyway. In this world some people think it is okay that everything goes. I would never have an open marriage. If you have to do that then something is wrong. Your spouse is supposed to be all you need.

3. Re: open marriage
Sep 25, 2007 4:52 PM   |   In response to: emmahh

I think so to. I thought her response to her lover's relationship hinted that maybe he was gay as well.

4. Re: open marriage
Sep 25, 2007 4:52 PM   |   In response to: emmahh

I agreee, and your right, it doesn't matter, but this guy definetly comes across as gay. Look at his right ring finger, it appears that that is his wedding ring. I think Oprah was trying to get him to say he has flirted with men, but of course he wouldn't say.

5. Re: open marriage
Sep 25, 2007 4:59 PM   |   In response to: emmahh

All I can think of is these two people are two "sick puppies"!! They obviously are not committed to each other or they couldn't do what they are doing. They are in denial! It's sick and sad.

6. Re: open marriage
Sep 25, 2007 4:59 PM   |   In response to: emmahh

**Absolutely, positively gay husband in the "open marriage" segment...I think (yes, I could be wrong) the wife knows this but they have this arrangement to keep her happy and provide financial stability for the kids. Why oprah didn't bring this up specifically is beyond me but I could tell she was chomping at the bit...but don't let's pretend this was an entirely honest discussion...**

7. Re: open marriage
Sep 25, 2007 5:07 PM   |   In response to: emmahh

Oh yes! My sister and I were watching together and wondered how Oprah and the sex therapist could keep their faces straight. That hubby is so gay, his wife may be the only one who doesn't know it.

8. Re: open marriage
Sep 25, 2007 5:09 PM   |   In response to: emmahh

I thought I was going to have to be the one to break it to everyone. How could anyone miss:
1) ummm, everything about that guy; 2) Oprah dancing around the question; 3) quick camera shots of the therapists in the audience trying to contain themselves?! Please! If you're willing to admit to an open marriage, why not just admit you're gay?

9. Re: open marriage
Sep 25, 2007 5:16 PM   |   In response to: whatev

Let me echo emmah, above, by saying "not that there's anything wrong with that" but I agree, why not just come out with it and rise above the Larry Craigs and Clay Aikens of the world? I think many gays (sadly out of necessity) have to stay under the radar until their incomes are secure...maybe in this case, for this couple, it was to be on "Oprah." they just typefied too many stereotypes I won't mention here (what would Jack of "Will and Grace" call her?) Of course one could always say he's from Iran, a place where gays don't exist ;)

10. Re: open marriage
Sep 25, 2007 5:20 PM   |   In response to: antaeous

I'm with you. I understand how a gay man might want to fly under the radar, play house, and whatnot.
All I'm saying is that the guy WAS under the radar....except in his neighborhood, at his work, etc. until he went on Oprah under the guise of talking about his open marriage and outed himself to a world of people who never would have known who he was. Oops? :0

11. Re: open marriage
Sep 25, 2007 5:31 PM   |   In response to: emmahh

I remember reading an interview with Ruby Dee in "Essence Magazine." She mentioned she and her husband the late Ossie Davis had an open marriage in the first years of their union (the early 60s I believe -- the times they were a changin'). They were both engaged in outside affairs, but committed to their marriage. Pretty soon they realized this didn't work for the marriage and they went back to the "til death do us part" plan. The bottom line is this state of affairs does not work for the long hawl IMO.

12. Re: open marriage
Sep 25, 2007 6:07 PM   |   In response to: mbostondc

Actually, the bottom line is that it didn't work in the long-term for Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee. I know a number of married non-monogamous couples and groups living as married who have been together for many years.

13. Re: open marriage
Sep 25, 2007 7:03 PM   |   In response to: emmahh

I can't believe I what I was watching! I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thought that man (Gregg) was gay. No wonder she goes somewhere else. No doubt they're best friends... but I bet they lied about their sex life!

14. Re: open marriage
Sep 25, 2007 7:06 PM   |   In response to: emmahh

Yes, he was CLEARLY gay. If I met this couple on the street and did not know that they were in an open marriage, I would have to be thinking, "I hope this woman knows that she is married to a gay man". I have a closeted gay man in my family who is in his late 50's and still living a lie. It is so sad to let your life pass you by, not being authentic and true to yourself.

15. Re: open marriage
Sep 25, 2007 7:18 PM   |   In response to: emmahh

I am an incredibly open minded individual, especially when it comes to sex, and I must say that I don't think there's anything wrong with being homosexual, which this husband most definetly is. His lifelong lie brings him shame, I would expect from a religious upbringing. It is actually more acceptable these days to swing, have an open marriage or even have affairs than to be a homosexual person in the churches eye. No church can cure homosexuality because it is not a disease nor is it a illness, the church can only coach supression and repression, neither of which is acceptable. Wake up girly, no wonder he doesn't mind your boyfriend, it probably gives him a break from using every energy he has to be physically intimate with someone he doesn't want to. The reason he hasn't stepped out is cause he can't tell you his girlfriends name is Ralph.

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