Exclusive: Did Bipolar Disorder Drive a Mother to Kill Her Child?

Posted on Sep 20, 2007 12:07 PM

Can bipolar disorder cause a mother to kill her child? Hear one suburban mom's story. Then, Maurice Benard, who stars on the soap General Hospital, shares his latest meltdown. And, Hollywood actress Jenifer Lewis, star of Tyler Perry's Madea's Family Reunion, goes public about what drove her to the edge.
Replies: 348
76. Re: Exclusive: Did Bipolar Disorder Drive a Mother to Kill Her Child?
Sep 24, 2007 6:21 PM   |   In response to: debdubray

I am not very educated on this matter, but after listening to the show, I am thinking that my husband might be suffering from this. He can be perfectly fine one minute and the next he is mad as a wet hen, and I never know what to do or say to him. Just last night he totally changed right before my eyes. Just out of the blue he started cursing and getting mad at everything and everybody. He will say certain things or do things and not remember them. He lies and then does not remember lying. Last night I told him that I was tired of the lies and he just went crazy - picking up the kitchen table and throwing it - breaking it. He then said he was leaving and tried taking some of my belongings - I tried to stop him and he then kneed me and shoved me and called me a pscho b----. I don't know how to address this issue with him, without him getting even more mad at me. Any suggestions?

77. Re: Exclusive: Did Bipolar Disorder Drive a Mother to Kill Her Child?
Sep 24, 2007 6:22 PM   |   In response to: marvelamar

Andrea try reading the bi-polar child third child. I have been in therapy for 4 years with my son turning 9 this year. THis book gave me the light bulb moment when I really understood and stopped second guessing myself
This is Daph from the show today supporting Andrea
Thanks

78. Re: Exclusive: Did Bipolar Disorder Drive a Mother to Kill Her Child?
Sep 24, 2007 6:24 PM   |   In response to: marvelamar

I'm 41 and was diagnosed with bipolar when I was 26--I had small symptoms for years but it took full blown mania that required hospitalization to get the right diagnosis. I take meds and try to live a simple life. The longer you have BP, the easier it is to identify mood triggers. I have a son, husband, dog, job ... I do some art on the side ... it is what it is.

Like everything else, health insurance is impossible. I hope the next show addresses this a bit. I was hospitalized for nine days back in 1992 and once my insurance ran out, I was discharged. Meanwhile, Medicaid patients were there for months. The health insurance system is really a big ol' mess and I don't know what the answer is.

79. Re: Exclusive: Did Bipolar Disorder Drive a Mother to Kill Her Child?
Sep 24, 2007 6:25 PM   |   In response to: marvelamar

Andrea, Correction Bi-Polar Child third edition to help understand the bi-polar child and the symptoms. It was referred to me from a doctor who diag. Bi -Polar in kids
Daph

80. my mother bit me!
Sep 24, 2007 6:29 PM   |   In response to: harpobear

My mom has been bi-polar for years, mixed in with depression, mixed in with a few other illnesses we think. A year ago this week she came to my house and we got into a confrontation and she clamped onto my finger like a pit-bull and was growling and snarling and would not let go. She will not get help- She does not see it! The "I'm fine" comment that kept re-occurring in the show-that's MY mom! She is currently on probation and I have a restraining order against her to protect myself and my small children. I applaud those of you who are diagnosed and embracing it you deserve more accolades than one can say. That is why you have never hurt your children. I just pray my mom won't hurt anyone else! Thank-you from the deepest part of my heart for doing this show! Stephanie

81. Re: Exclusive: Did Bipolar Disorder Drive a Mother to Kill Her Child?
Sep 24, 2007 6:30 PM   |   In response to: harpobear

Thank you, thank you for today's show. Especially for the contribution of Jenifer Lewis. I am African American and have a daughter who is Bipolar II. Even though we were seeking help for her, it took a few years for her to be properly diagnosed. Even after the diagnosis, it took a while to get good counseling because most counselors just thought she was too bright to really be that sick. She is perfectly rational and directs most of her care. She has admitted herself to in patient treatment twice in the last 12 years.

It all started when she was a first year medical student and she called her father and me to come to dinner and she informed us that she was taking a leave of absence from medical school, not for academic reasons, but mental health reasons. First, she was treated mainly for depression.

We intend to write a book about our journey as mother an daughter and how we have adjusted to the ups and downs and all of the things that we have done to finally get her to a place where we think she is pretty stable and maybe be able to find her place in the world.

I had suffered from intermittent depression since my early 20's but was so able to cope that people would not believe that I was depressed. Because I could go to work everyday, got up, got dressed and carried on. However, what they didn't know was that I came home cried, and went to bed. My husband did everything. He even taught my children to wash their clothes when I was having a depressive episode.

About the mother, why is she still in jail? When will we understand that our mentallly ill need help not punishment?

82. Re: Exclusive: Did Bipolar Disorder Drive a Mother to Kill Her Child?
Sep 24, 2007 6:33 PM   |   In response to: bpsmiles

I am so glad that you were lucky enough to have the resorces in your life to find out about your bipolar disorder & have such a high IQ. Sadly not all bipolar people do. My son was diagnosed when he was 12 because of his repeated threats of killing himself, thankfully I then lived by a great hospital that reconized what was going on, before that he went to many psychiatrists that said he was ADHD, ODD & OCD.But mothers instinct told me it was much more than that. He does not have a high IQ & I worry even though he is on the right meds now & doing great, what will happen when he grows up & is out in the world. He has been on meds, since he was 6yrs. old & started not taking them by hiding them by the time he was 7. I have learned to watch him take his meds. And he was BORN different! If this show can help diagnose one child or person, it has done a world of good!

83. Re: Exclusive: Did Bipolar Disorder Drive a Mother to Kill Her Child?
Sep 24, 2007 6:35 PM   |   In response to: debkh1

sound like she is just looking for a free ride and using the grandchild do achive this i do not think she is bipolar but uses a little information about the disorder to seem affected by it just to get her way .

84. Re: Exclusive: Did Bipolar Disorder Drive a Mother to Kill Her Child?
Sep 24, 2007 6:37 PM   |   In response to: uberles

Uber-

You are so correct. My mother, who now I also believe was BP, killed herself when I was 5.
I was forever changed by this. And now that I know I have BP and have had many attempts
myself, I can see what this does to the one's left behind. I made a vow to myself the last
time I tried that I would put myself back into the hospital again rather than attempt something
that, if succeeded, would ruin my kids childhood and it would scar them for life.

On another note, the comments on the financial side of BP. Yes, it is a very expensive
treatment. I guess you could say I am a lucky one, I do have insurance. My insurance
isn't great, but it does pick up most of the cost for my medications. My only issue is
that I can't afford the PDoc. Those copays are too high and my 5 children do need to eat.
So I manage my illness thru my general doctor and my medications. I don't feel I have
any other choice. I don't qualify for help from the state because I do have insurance and
my husband has a descent job. So, the rest of the financial burden is on us. I agree that
anyone with the illness should find help regardless of the financial burden, but the reality
is, sometimes you can't always get all the help you need due to that burden. I wanted help,
I found help, but I did have to make sacrifices to afford the help I get.

I am also in agreement with many other posters that ask Oprah to have a show based around
real people and their real, unique, issues. Having stars is great, it helps show that the illness
can even affect the "famous" ones. But, there are so many more real issues with this illness,
there are so many stigmas attached to us, that the real people also need to get on the show
to give faces and different circumstances to this illness to help MORE people.

Melissa
TN

85. Re: Exclusive: Did Bipolar Disorder Drive a Mother to Kill Her Child?
Sep 24, 2007 6:39 PM   |   In response to: marvelamar

I also have a child who was diagnosed at age 11. She tried to kill herself (she had been given paxil and had a psychotic episode). We enden up at Four Winds in Katonah NY and she stayed there for a month (until her lithium levels became therapeutic). Please know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. She is now 16, off meds (we did nuero-feedback) and a freshman in college. She is NOT CRAZY Oprah--she has a disease like any other-this one affects her brain that is all. Love to everyone who is dealing with this and take care of yourselves--life is more than bipolar disease.

Anne

86. Re: Exclusive: Did Bipolar Disorder Drive a Mother to Kill Her Child?
Sep 24, 2007 6:39 PM   |   In response to: harpobear

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder about two years ago. I believe I have been suffereing from it a long time before that though. I was hospitialized several times but my diagnoses were always major depression with delusional episodes and anger disorder. Is this Bipolar or not? I'm not sure why it took the doctors so long to diagnose it correctly. I do well when I take my medicine but it tends to make me feel sluggish and tired so I go off of it. Then I am in trouble again. For years this disorder has caused my life troubles and I just didn't know it. I don't know if the lady being Bipolar caused her to kill her son or not. I feel awful if that is truly why she did it. Because then it was beyond her control.. I have never thought about killing someone else, only myself. I am very distant from my children. I am distant from everyone. I am angry most of the time. Although I know how important it is to stay on my medicine I continue to flrt with not taking it. I hope if anyone out there thinks they may be suffering with this disorder they get help because it is an awful exsistence to live.

87. Re: Exclusive: Did Bipolar Disorder Drive a Mother to Kill Her Child?
Sep 24, 2007 6:42 PM   |   In response to: harpobear

There is no biological test that can confirm bipolar disorder. Bipolar is simply a theory a made up illness to describe some individuals extreme mood swings. Scientists often make up theories about things but it does not mean they are all true. Some people have what is called willpower and can deal with life, while others of us don't have the same willpower and can't easily deal with things. People use this bipolar excuse so they have something to blame their problems on. I'm sure the pharmaceutical companies enjoy it though.

88. Re: Exclusive: Did Bipolar Disorder Drive a Mother to Kill Her Child?
Sep 24, 2007 6:48 PM   |   In response to: evenstar23

I guess you have never lived with a bipolar child. They are not doing this on purpose--believe me--they are going through hell. Please educate yourself before you make such ignorant opinions.

89. Re: Exclusive: Did Bipolar Disorder Drive a Mother to Kill Her Child?
Sep 24, 2007 6:50 PM   |   In response to: harpobear

Oprah, I was so glad to see you have a show on this disorder!
A brief history......... I am the mother of a son (now 32 yrs. old) that was diagnosed with bipolar when he turned 21 while away at college. Tim is the oldest of my 5 children, and is the only one with this disorder and there isn't any family history of it.
He is diagnosed with the highest level of bipolar with psychosis. He has been hospitalized 3 times since his onset, most recently last July. The first 2 times, he did the "stop taking meds" because he felt he had it under control. This last time, he was prescribed a high blood pressure medication by a general practictioner which counter-acted his other meds prescribed by his phsychologist. It sent him into a flown-blown psychotic episode, but we were able to get him back on the right track in about 2 weeks.
I would love to share the stories of his life, and each of his episodes, and what we had to do to get the right help and the right doctors!. I am from Peoria, IL and we have lived here our whole lives. Tim now lives in Sonoma, CA, with his fiancee. They moved there in 2001. She is a strong person. She knew he had this disorder, but had never seen him during an episode because he had been under control for almost 10 years until last July. Tim has always held a full time job, but struggles just as others with this disease do. He is very intelligent, holds an engineering degree from Northwestern University, Evanston, IL.
This disorder affects everyone in the family, and anyone who knows Tim. We all would do anything to find a cure. He is the sweetest person on earth and would do anything for anyone. When he goes into his episodes, he is always worried about his siblings well-being. This has been a common thing in each episode. As well as the same phsycosis material. He hears voices and has illusions.
His 2nd episode, he went missing for 5 days and was found later in hospital emergency room in Ohio. He had been trying to find his way home. We were very fortunate to have located him alive. A mother's nightmare!
I would like to see you do a show more on the medical and research being done for this disease. I know great strides are being done each day and studies are being done on some genes. i would like to hear more on this, but would welcome a chance to share my journey with Tim so far, with you.

Thank you! Thank you, again.... for bringing this to your show. This is a REAL disorder that is terrible for the one with it, and terrible for their loved ones.

Kathy Powell

90. Re: Exclusive: Did Bipolar Disorder Drive a Mother to Kill Her Child?
Sep 24, 2007 6:51 PM   |   In response to: daphen1

My son is now 11 and was diagnoised at 8 with bi-polar. Most children are rapid cyclers so it is harder for some doctors to see. The best book I have read is "The Ups and Downs of Raising a Bi-Polar child." It is everything that the title says. Hope that helps!

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