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Posted on Sep 17, 2007
Greetings to all! It is indeed Moon.
I did not want to lose (pun intended) one more moments so we can embark about a exciting adventuresome time.
To our alums Road, Sandy & Nancyfrye, I hope you can navigate back and find us here.
To Our newest joiners: Bienvenue (Be welcome)! This is not going to be your usual format for why we are the way we are, but to understand and to be fuller people (no pun intended) as Langiappe Elles ( pronounced Land*YAP- Creole for a little extra something women). Substantial women, Extra-ordinary Women, full bodied Big City Women!
Words *DO* matter, so as we go about the business of physical, emotional & intellectual wellness, we will make concerted efforts to change the paradigms, to shift how we see ourselves in concert with the rest of the world. Make no mistake, we are in the business collectively to advocate, educate, mitigate, orchestrate & support one another as we take *A.I.M*
*A*ttitude
*I*magine
*M*otivate
one another, but we do so in the spirit of we are just fine where we are in the scheme of things. We will not "wait to exhale" but have extraordinary f*at*abulous lives right now, right at this moment and more so when we think things are the darkest. And not allow others to define the sum of our goodness.
Make no mistake, we are not here because we think that obesity is a happy experience. We know that to be to the contrary. There is a certain health factor when too much of a good thing is too much. We also recognize the societal pressure put upon large women that is punitive, demeaning and destructive, but we also know on some level that +"Shame does not bring about change"+. But we do not have to allow that into ourselves or into our personal space.
The mere fact of acknowledging that we have to release, not lose (if you lose something what is the first thing that you do?) is in itself a declaration of joy.
A release from *F.E.A.R*
*F*alse
*E*xpectations
*A*ppearing
*R*eal
Most of us won't even acknowledge that we indeed have 100 pounds to let go. It is part of the shaming punitive mindset of this world. 10, 15, 30 pounds is acceptable to say but not 100! But why?
I have 100 pounds to release. It did not get here overnight, nor will it make its final curtain call overnight. In fact, I had a serious matter over the summer that allowed the 10 pounds I had released this summer to make their return in a vengeance. I am 5'11 & weigh 302 pounds. I know my battle is a emotional one & part of that is from disallowing me from expressing justified righteous indignation,& anger that is appropriate & when appropriate.
But I have not disallowed myself from having a life, a career or passion for living. I have not always weighed in at 300 + And when think of when I was indeed 200 pounds lighter, people who acted shamefully toward me and I allowed them into my world still treated me badly. It wasn't bad all the time, there was sunshine & rain, fire & ice light & dark, but I had swallowed too much and it ate away at me (Pun not intended). This is the heaviest I've been in my life and this last 50 came beacuse of something that I suppressed/swallowed under the guise of nobility or being the "bigger" person when all it did was plain old hurt. And hurt badly. What was that comment that Dr. Angelou says about people's ability to peck you to death?
We cannot stop other people but we sure can do something about us by shifting the paradigms. The conditioning of the culture does not allow women let along fat women to have real legitimate feelings or to find good safe weighs to manage & be. It is tough work & a painful one, but I want to believe that we are serious about our own well being and may take 2 steps forward & one step back, but at least we *did* take 1 step forward!
I do not care for the words *"Get over it"* & its 1st cousin *"Move on"* particularly when it is presented with the rolling of the eyes or a voice of disdain. Or my other favorite is "We are only concern about your health" which is a thinly veiled sugar coated judgement. We are so hooked into instant gratification that if something that affects us monumentally we are suppose to just walk away with a smile within 3.5 seconds though it may take us 24 to process. Or longer. I find people use those terms to stand in judgement or they do not want to be bothered. Well then,*don't* (be bothered) & this will be one of the times I will say lose it..Lose them! .
My thoughts now are who gave the speaker the authority over when we are truly ready to get over, if there is such a thing?
I rather us see things in *"Let it Be"* And even that is a process.
So off we go. Share your thought large and small, triumphs & challenges. We would like to also welcome those who have successful released or the allies that which to support these women (and men) in their endeavors.
When our alums catch up with us you'll find the to be a delightful energetic forward thinking group of women.
One of the things that Sandy instituted was to list every day *5 Things that made you Smile Today* :DNo matter how small (or large) it is.
I add to that: List *"5 Things you like about yourself"*
Even if you have to repeat the same things over & over again, keep on saying it and live out loud!
MoonB-)
