Every married woman is one husband away from welfare.

I am still trying to recover from a similar set of circumstances as Sylvia. My late husband controlled me for twenty years and was able to make sure I didn't get a job or if I did he make it difficult to keep one with constant calling and showing up at the job.
I can relate to her on so many levels . I traveled with him for twenty years and kept him sober so he could work as an electrical engineer. I did his paper work , kept him sober/ or made sure he was fed and in bed by eight every night so he could go to work the next day. He made sure I couldn't save money to escape and told people all I did was shop. I was the person that got all of his accounts for him until he learned what to do. He was very abusive drunk or sober.
He died at the early age of 56 after being diagnosed with a respitory aliment and dying five days later of liver and lung cancer. He left me with 40 to $60,0000 worth of back taxes,owed. The house we were living in was a lease purchase and the SUV was a lease. I had the rug pulled out from under me and didn't know which way to go.
I sold and gave away at least eight rooms of a ten room house. The woman that owned the house wouldn't EVEN give me a chance to stay there and try to get a job. She was not very pleasant to me anyway and relished a chance to hurt me. I had no recourse but to pack up what was left and move from Atlanta to Mobile Al.within a six week period. This was the last place I wanted to start over but I was in such a state of shock I didn't really know what I was doing.
I have been diagnosed with a form of POST TRAUMATIC SYNDROM and am slowly making a recovery. No one offered to help me , just the opposite. I don't mean to sound like a whiney poor me type . It has been a difficult two and a half yrs. for me. I will pray for SYLVIA I really can relate to her on so many levels. I cried when I heard her story, it hurt all over again.
I couldn't even get him a grave marker and have been the subject of much redicule because of it.
(They gossip about it but don't offer to help)!
I just broke out in shingles this past weekend from stress. WHOOPEE!
Sylivia is so lucky to have family to stick by her. She is blessed. God forgive me but she will find his suicide is the best thing that could have happened to her and the kids.
much love Ruth

Your comment is irresponsible. I know Sylvia and Joe through a friend. I was never a big fan myself, but I would never assume she or anyone else was the bad one. I saw all of the signs of a controlling husband. I was not a friend and therefore did not get involved into there business. I witnessed Joe lose his temper on his children and know of many occasions of mental abuse of Sylvia and the kids. Joe was well known in the village he lived and it was not for the great person he was. Sylvia was known as the woman with no self esteem. I am also aware of how Joe died and how he was found. Joe commited suicide as the ultimate control of Sylvia. To suggest that she had any thing to do with her death is ludicrist. I would be wrong to say that she and the kids are not better off without him. Many people do not realise that it is easier to have someone die in that situation because he no longer has the control over her. She can start anew. I wish her and the children luck, and hope they find peace.

It appears to me that all sides do not have anything to do with the fact that this Lady has four children, no job, and lots of bills. This is not about who did what, but how will she now take care of her family and what women should be doing to protect themselves and the children.

Saw the show, soooo important. Thanks. Suze's right...when I was newly married, something happened which really scared me, and I had no way out. After that, realizing that I needed 'ESCAPE MONEY', I would literally save the change from shopping trips. We were really poor, but I saved $50, enough to get a cab, a cheap motel and eat, till I could get help. Once I had a child, I upped it to $100, and NEVER touched it, no matter what. When my girls were teens, I had them do the same. I sealed $100 in a driver's license plastic holder, along with emergency contact info, and would without warning, ask to see it. That way they always had cab money to get home, if they found themselves in a bad situation.

But Suze and Oprah, unexpected things happen in life. Many years after my divorce and me paying off my education, I came to the attention of a gang, who robbed me off and on for a year, then threatened my life, then burned my house down. That put me $25,000 into debt. I worked all the overtime I could and paid it off. Then I found that my folks needed help....etc. I helped them and it was my honor to do so, but once again I find myself starting over.

So when I heard your offer....thank you, thank you, thank you. I was thinking $24.95! I cannot afford that right now. I downloaded the book successfully, and will start reading it tomorrow AM. And yes, Suze, I will commit as you asked. I hope others take your offer. It was so generous of you. I give you my word that when I can, I WILL purchase it.

Sincerely, cpat

Don't you think that's a little harsh? Have you ever been in a abusive relationship, it's pretty degrading. I think when you know how to do better that's when you do better.

I agree, the female gender needs to wake up and smell the coffee and I am not talking about Starbucks! I say the female gender instead of women, because women must be responsible for teaching their children especially girls what I am about to write.

Rules to be successful in life:

1. Self Reliance through critical thinking. Do not expect someone, anyone, to take care of you. That includes parents, siblings, lovers, husbands, boyfriends, children. Learn to make the right decisions in your life with the goal being that you rely on yourself to be able to stand on your own two feet.
2. Get on Birthcontrol - nothing is 100% effective except abstinence. If you cannot control yourself, then use birthcontrol pills AS DIRECTED for them to be as effective as possible, in addition, use condoms also to protect yourself from STDs and accidental pregnancy if the pill fails. I am sure this will offend many, but I had just hired a 19 year old girl in second year of college with real potential to get an education and make something of herself, except she went and got herself pregnant!! When I asked her if she had used birth control she said she hadn't and had gone to get on the pill when she found out she was already pregnant!!! It just so happens her mother had also had her by being pregnant under similar circumstances but had never bothered to teach her daughter about birthcontrol to prevent history from repeating. Now she has to stall her education; IF she ever goes back to college, and it will be much much more difficult to finish her education with the additional responsibility of taking care of a baby. I certainly do not want to pay through welfare for such babies via my tax dollars. ALL PARENTS HAVE A MORAL RESPONSIBILITY TO THEIR CHILDREN BOTH SONS AND DAUGHTERS TO TEACH THEM ABOUT BIRTHCONTROL AT THE EARLIEST TIME THEY CAN COMPREHEND ...these days unfortunately it is getting younger and younger.!! Even 7 year olds have been known to indulge in sexual activity. REALITY CHECK ------Telling them just to abstain even for religious reasons is NOT going to stop your kids from having sex. Do not count on their teachers teaching about birth control in school or learning elsewhere, it is YOUR responsibility.
3. Get the BEST education you can afford. If you do not qualify for a loan, then work two jobs to save money to pay for it yourself and get excellent grades so that you can qualify for scholarships alleviating the need to earn money to get an education.
4. Get the best job with the best benefits including healthcare and long term insuranceyou can get after school. Start saving money from the first paycheck and keep it in your name forever, not your spouse if you get married, not your kids if they need for an education (there are other alternative to saving for education according to each US state, read Suze's book for more info)
5. If involved in a live-in relationship or married, you must be involved in your joint finances. Spend a couple of hours every weekend to go through where the financial affairs so that there are no surprises like the lady on the show. Remember it takes two to tango!!
6. If you own a car, house, anything that is a high value property, make sure your name is on the title. Only if you have your name on the title do you actually own it. This includes gifts of any kind, ie. if your boyfriend gifts you a car, or house, make sure your name is on the title otherwise it's not yours! If you are living together in his house and you are payinghalf the mortgage and the house is only his name, and he dies tomorrow, you have nothing to your name. The house will go to whoever are his next of kin including kids, or whomever he has willed it to, and you cannot be sure since wills can be changed at any time. You must safeguard your interests.
7. You must have your own retirement plan, a 401K or an IRA, etc.Do not withdraw from it to buy a car, etc, like my neighbor did, because you will be penalized heavily if you do so before the retirement age.
8. Make sure you have healthcare insurance of some type or at least get a job where they have healthcare benefits. If you over 50 you must look at getting long term care insurance. Do not count on Medicare being there to help you.

Hello Everyone, I just joined the website. It is amazing how God works. I was in an extremely deadly frame of mind. Until I read some of these stories. No, not just stories. Testimonies. Thank you all for the encouragement. I can overcome/do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. I appreciate you Oprah and my new found friends for all that has been said and done.
Sincerely, Nina

well I loved todays show. i am a single mom of three kids and currently going through alot of what she was going through...but i dont have a husband that passed away...but i am the one that has thought of suicide and i took the steps to readhing out for help...i am on medication now and i will read the book that we were able to download. i hope that it helps. this show was amazing for me today.

I bought this book when it came out on QVC and I read about the first 5 chapters. But during these past 5 months, my husband and I have had more than 50 horrible arguments about money. I worry every day about what if . . . I have no clue about anything. I only know about the mortage and even that with an adjustable ARM:0 (I am not really clear on what that is either) it changes.

I am so SCARED about what my financial status is that I am commiting to read that book every day form 1-1:45. I need to protect myself and know what is going on financially in my life.

Thanks Suzie and Oprah. Sylvia thank you for sharing your story even though I know it was painful. Thank you very much.

Does anyone know
anything about having an estate sale like Sylvia did or any information on who
did the sale? Did the family hold the sale?

From my experience estate sales are a rip off. My grandfather had one a few years back and the company that did it charged an outrageous percentage for doing absolutely nothing; They also stole some of his belongings in the process. If Sylvia only got $13,000 for the sale of all that crazy stuff the camera's were showing, it makes you wonder how little they were selling everything for, or how much the company took off the top of everything sold!

Thank you for the book Suzee and Oprah.
I am a talented,educated middle aged woman who has refused to take care of herself financially.
My family and friends have given up on me.
But I'm not going to, I'm going to do this book and get it, for myself and the people I love.

Thank you for sharing yur story. I am glad that your family are still together. Happy Valentine's Day!

What a wonderful show today. It has so many things to think about, thank god I've never been in that situation but I do know people who have. My heart goes out to that family, what a nightmare that had to have been for them to go through. Thank goodness for her fighting spirit! she will be stronger because of this and what she's able to learn from it.
Also, what a wonderful gift that Suzie and Oprah gave us. I'm so exited to read the book. I was actually really wanting to read it after it was on the show, and then you gave it to us to read. Thank you. I've had some financial difficulty and some ideas that was brought up on the show will really help me get back on track thank you!!!!!