Secret Lives of Moms

Wow what a show,I feel that your culture( white Americans) enables you ladies to be successful at motherhood, Black Women was born and raised to handle any and all situations that arise, I'm not shocked because most of you were giving everything so you thought life was easy till you had children, well in my culture African American we were raised if you have children you must take care of them regardless if the father stays or go, I have six children that I raised and worked everyday, they were in sport so I did it all practice 3-4 days a week, games ever Saturday, homework, dinner, and more but it was fun. I see your culture bringing in the Nanny show to help get their kids on track, come on now you have to have a back bone with kids and rules from day one. I really feel sorry for you ladies and totally disagree with you. Oprah find some real Super Moms that's doing everyday for them and their children, see now things are so bad they have to take care of their own children, they use to pay people to raise them but that lifes over, step up to the plate. Oprah that was the worst show you have done.

WHAT!!!!!! are they kidding me????? how could you not know???? I am absolutely appalled by the absolute ignorance of these women on here. RIDICULOUS!!!!! buggers come with the territory...BABIES DONT COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS!!!!!!! I have 3 children and love every minute of the buggers,poo-poo and everything else that comes with it. Maybe because I am normal...or according to these women abnormal...oh my

I am a white american woman...I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU!!!!!!! stupid show!!!!!!

Listening to the confessions of the mothers featured on the show reminded me of the time I was driving my mini-van with my six month old in his carseat in the back on my way to pick up my other kids and drop them off. He started to get fussy, hungry I was sure, and I found myself trying to figure out how I could nurse him and drive at the same time... I couldn't figure out how to do it, thank God. I came to my senses reluctantly....

When my son was born (my only child after 4 miscarriages, my Miracle baby), I felt like I just wanted to die. I almost lost my son at twelve weeks, I was in labor off and on of the last four months of my pregnancy, I could not give birth to my son because my bones did not spread, he was born a month early because of pre-ecclampsia (if we had waited 1-2 more days, he would have died because of 3 knots in his cord) and after he was born my milk dried up in less than four months. He was an awesome baby (who did not want to be held, BTW), but I just felt like maybe I wasn't supposed to be a mother. On top of that, my health declined and I could no longer work (my pregnancy was high risk and was warned that my health may decline). I lost everything that I was.

The story is long and really depressing, but recently we got over the potty training (and feeling sorry for myself) hurdle. It was the worst stage so far!!! I just got to where I feel like I can be a good mom for my son. He will be four in August, and I am by no means "Mom of the Year," but I can say with all honesty that my son is happy and knows he is loved, and that I could not have got this far without the support of my friends and family. I have a good support group!span.jajahWrapper { font-size:1em; color:#B11196; text-decoration:underline; } a.jajahLink { color:#000000; text-decoration:none; } span.jajahInLink:hover { background-color:#B11196; }

Hi,

I am a new member and was looking for a way to find out how I could suggest a topic for an Oprah show. I watched the show on July 3, 2009 on moms and I just wanted to talk to Oprah to tell her she needed to do a show for post "part them" depression. Like you, I have adult children and all of them have recently moved out of my home. I also gave everything I had to give while they were small, teenagers, and young adults. Now the fruits of my labor are divided. I feel so guilty when THEY make bad decisions and whenever something bad happens to them. I want to know how to turn off wanting to help them constantly. There needs to be a show on how to let go and how to say no. There also needs to be a professional evaluation on how three kids can be raised exactly the same and be so completely different as adults. I understand that every baby is born with their own personality but what about respect, manners, sense of duty, and obligation? I am at a loss on how I should feel but I know that I do feel like I failed with one of my children and I half failed with another and I am totally delighted with the third. Thank you for your post as it made me not feel so alone. Good luck with your new found freedom and life!

Hi, thank you for your inquiry.
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If you wish to submit a show idea or share your story with the Producers, please click the 'Be on the Show' link from the Oprah.com homepage.
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Thank you and have a great day!
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-Harpoboard1, Oprah.com Community Moderator
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I missed half the show- anyone who knows me knows that I needed to see this show. I am a 42 year-old mother of two boys, ages 4 and 6. Motherhood has never felt natural to me. When they were babies, I often gave the analogy of feeling like chicken feed, being pecked at and pecked at until nothing was left. But the biggest issue for me is the jealousy I feel- my life has changed 100%, yet my husbands life barely seems different. He has to work late, or on Saturday, or needs to get a hair cut- he just does it. If I need (or want!) to do anything, it takes an act of congress and lots of favors to make it happen. I really resent this. The weird thing is that my husband is helpful, and accommodating, once I ask for something. Yet I resent that I have to ask. During a recent discussion with my husband when I finally revealed my anger and resentment towards him, he seemed surprised by my feelings. He said that he hears from other women that their husbands do NOTHING to help with the home and the kids, whereas he feels he does. My response to him, "Unfortunately for you, you're not married to an 80-20 girl. 80% for me, 20% for you, doesn't work for this woman!" Oh yeah, nothings changed since that conversation, but it sure felt good to get it out there!

It's hard to hear these women complain (whine) about being a mother. I was fortunate to have two beautiful daughters and motherhood was a piece of cake. I worked full time outside of the home and still managed to be room parent, chaperone for field trips, held birthday parties, sport teams, slumber parties, etc. Not to say it wasn't work, but never unmanageable. My house was clean, laundry done, homemade meals, and more importantly, every one bathed daily! I just can't imagine why so many find this so hard and seem to be so miserable. Raising my kids was the most fullfilling and enjoyable thing I could do. I looked forward to getting up in the morning to see their little faces and start another day of adventure and learning. I was blessed to have a Mother who provided child care for my children while I worked and I give credit to her for my mothering skills, because she raised three kids and always kept it together.

I am a 22 year old stay at home mother of 3(ages 4,3,and 20 months) and I would like to think Oprah for taking the time to have this topic on her show. Motherhood is the hardest job any woman could ever experience. I want to say that this was enlightening and SO TRUE!!! There are so many things that a Woman does not get told before she has a child.

Granted, being a first time mom is an eye-opening experience...but in my opinion, one does not get the full picture until you have at least two. I'm a mother of 4, and there is nothing like organizing a daily schedule with four kiddos in four different schools, four lunches and four after school activities. It is like a well oiled machine! My youngest is about to go off to college this fall, and now I find myself attempting to rediscover myself and find out where I belong. What's next???

I have a hard time beleiveing that your whole life was like a Leave it to Beaver program. span.jajahWrapper { font-size:1em; color:#B11196; text-decoration:underline; } a.jajahLink { color:#000000; text-decoration:none; } span.jajahInLink:hover { background-color:#B11196; }

I thought, being a single mom of three was hard. But, nothing compares to the hurt I've been been feeling in empty nest. Just like today, was so proud of pictures my oldest posted from Egypt. My son, in so many wonderful places I would love to site see... But, he told me today not to make comments on any of his pictures, must less I'm sure his page. Said, I needed to read about internet etiquette. I love him with all my heart, and am so lonely without them. But, he is an arrogant little jerk, who I would like to cream right now... I know, I'm not alone, feeling this way... but it sure is embarrassing and the hurt is so deep, can't really express.

I know, I devoted my life to my kids, did a good job, and they are self sufficent adults... but, I can't help wishing for the day ... they get pay back...

Foreplay....hmm - as a mother of 3 I have always told my husband that there is nothing sexier than a man with a sponge in his hand - scrub my floors or clean my toliet and trust me I'll make the time!!

I agree with helenm12 but sometimes when you are in the thick of being a parent for the first time it is overwhelming - especially if there is no support for you. I am glad that the moms of today have something like this blog and Oprah to bring some of the stress of parenting out in the open. YOU are not a bad mom unless you intentionally expose your children to the nastier sides of life. You are raising children in a time that is very different from when I raised mine.

Yes, there is always something or someone worse off and you feel for them but it does not make what you are going through vanish, it hopefully makes you appreciate what you have even when it's hard. I am 52, I went through a divorce when my youngest was 1 1/2 yrs. old. I was shocked and devastated when "he" walked out on me and our daughters. And, yes he walked away from them too, which is the really sick part. I REALLY raised them by myself - friends were around and kept me sane. I worried about their health when they were sick, their happiness, their schooling, their friends, their morals, their faith and hopes, if you can imagine it I probably worried about it - with no one who was invested in my daughters as much as I was the responsibility was sometimes engulfing. My oldest daughter is now a doctor of physical therapy and my youngest has just graduated from a university with a biology degree. I helped as much as I could with their college expenses which was not much. My girls have attained this on their own. They are healthy, happy, sane, compassionate, and empathetic young women so I must have done something right these last 20 years of my life. I did date a man off and on for these last years but for me I needed to be a mom, focus on them and raise them. Oh and while I was raising them I went to college. I earned my teaching degree and a master's of education with a reading specialist certification. I have been teaching future generations of our country for the last 12 years.

I am not boasting here I am just trying to tell new mothers and mothers of young children that we all have been there. We wonder if we are doing "it" right. Hey these sweet innocent beings do not come with instructions! They come with pure, clean souls and it's up to moms and dads to be there for them, model the behavior that you want to instill in them. They do what you do, NOT what you tell them to do:) Trust me, I have had times where I wanted to throttle my girls - even say "What were you thinking?". REMEMBER what was good for one mom/dad may not work for you and that is OK. If your not sure about something or how to handle the situation ASK - I went to a therapy class on how to help my girls, especially the older one who was 5 at the time & devastated by her "Daddy's" behaviors, on how I needed to handle the separation/divorce in her best interest. When you're a mom it's not about you anymore but your child.

I hope that you all just do your best. Seek help when you are stuck on a situation that is tearing you up, "like how do I handle this in the best way for my child and me". Do what is going to help your child and you - what worked for me may not for you.

Most of all, enjoy your children. You'll probably laugh, smile, and cry a lot - in other words you are LIVING!