Please help the teenage girls out there. I heard on the news this morning that 44% of teenages asked think that the actions between that famous couple were normal. March is the month for honoring women in there strength and dedication for their work, if the young girls growing up think that being beaten on is normal we are heading in the wrong direction.
Please thank Oprah for reiterating that it's not ok to get hit and once they do it, they will do it again. I only got close to one situation but my reflex was to punch him right in the face. And I don't understand why people enjoy physically hurting others. I cannot believe the painful feeling I had that I punch a human and I watched his head bounce of the wall and his face immediately swelled up in front of me. It was a dark scene and I knew this person brought out the worse in me so I left the relationship. Everybody has a dark and good side. The dark is poisonous and detrimental to their inner being. Always choose the "not the dark" side.
I applaud Oprah's willingness to be direct about Dating Violence and the enormity of the issue. But I was deeply disturbed that she chose to have Tyra Banks as her co-host. I understand Ms banks is able to reach a young audience, but she is NOT an expert on Dating Violence and her presence took the spot of someone who is more informed and able to provide more effective information and ideas. Although Ms Banks added some insight, I was disappointed with the lack of Domestic Violence Advocates in the conversation. As a former Child Advocate for CT's largest DV program and former Director of Shelter Services for CT's oldest DV program, I hoped that there would be at least one voice from that community. There is a perspective that advocates have that is unique. Often times since they are the ones working most closely with victim/survivors, their understanding of the dynamics of DV can be expressed in ways others may not have heard before and can benefit those being abused as well as the loved ones who are trying to be helpful. Again, I applaud the decision to take on Dating Violence and am grateful for the time you all took to delve into this social epidemic, but I ask if this is a journey you choose again, please include trained and expreienced DV advocates who work directly with victim/survivors.
I strongly believe that one's childhood defines who the person is and who he/she becomes based on the choices made.
My mother was a very strong but a battered woman and I grew up feeling helpless with low self-esteem, but never hopeless. That is why I did not let my childhood lower my expectations in life and in relationships with men. As a teenager, I was very controlling and always got my way. As a woman and a mother I became very protective and defensive. This lead me to accomplish all my goals of independent women through higher education and currently I am the founder of a nonprofit Aumazo, Inc. dedicated to educate girls in rural Cameroon where I was born and raised. Ignorance is our greater enemy, that is why I am carrying very high the educational torch for girls in Cameroon and eventually in other countries in Africa. Education is power and Knowledge is key
They say I'm am the # 1 Oprah Look Alike, what do you think?
T'neshela
in response to: erikaitis
Oprah is so Right they will do it again. It is a moral, an integrity meter. Abusive people don't do it ONCE. Forgiveness and not reporting them does not do anyone any good. The next girlfriend will be hit or worse, if we do not report, for ourselves report it for the record so as to help the next person.
Hi all. We are working on a follow up to the teen dating violence show for next week...talking to men who have abused.
If you have any ideas for that show...let producersh know.
Thanks Terry
This was such a great episode. My mother and i sat down and watched it together and discussed during commercial breaks. It was important to us, especially after the rhianna / chris brown incident. It saddened us and we want to do what we can to help women in these positions. Thanks for airing such an important episode to so many people.
Always great topics and always important!! Great job. This is such a hidden issue and teens who abuse as teens grow up to be adults who abuse! STOP THE ABUSE!!
in response to: producertg
I thought I sent a reply earlier but do not see it, so if this is a repeat I apologize. I am so grateful that you are shifting the focus from "why does she stay?" to "why does he do this?". In order to resolve this epidemic we need to be real about who is abusing and why so we can stop and prevent abuse. I also want to say that there is a HUGE misunderstanding in the general public, but also sadly, in the US criminal justice system that "treatment" is about Anger Management. It is NOT even comparable. Although anger management is a serious issue for many, it is a problem that rears its ugly head in almost all areas of a person's life when he/she are afflicted. Abuse is a CHOICE and therefore in order to work with men who abuse the "treatment" needs to address the specifics of gender roles, controlling behaviors and entitlement. I bring this up because it is important to have the voice of agencies that work specifically with batterers. There are not enough of them, but they are out there. I also would like to see representatives from DV Docket courts; DV advocates, DV prosecutors etc... these professional work daily with DV specific cases and bring a perspective that is unique and important.
Thanks
Beth
in response to: producertg
Hey Terry...women do abuse men as well....do think if a woman hits a man then its ok? How come if he reports it instead of hitting back... people laugh at him...society sees it as a sign of weekness on his part...I am a female by the way...I just think it should work both ways and that the show should be on domestic violence towards both sexes.
in response to: producertg
What is the name of the lady who Oprah interviewed years ago whos daughter was murdered. Also her daughters and boyfriends name. You showed a clip of her on the show and she was also in the studio.
Also, how about a little balance on the show. You might not know it but lots of guys also watch. How about a show on women beating up men and why they are laughed at and when they report it... you have a show on breast cancer how about 5 minutes on mens breast cancer and a couple on prostrate cancer?!?!?!?!?!!? We have problems also and who knows a lady might see some of the signs in her husband and save his life. Am kind of sick of the "motherhood is the hardest job in the world" speal...Men don't have it easy either.
By the way, it looks like Rhianna started beating up that Chris person up first. I know it was wrong for him to her but why hasn't she been charged with anything? Just another sign of the double standard in this hypocritical Victorian society we live in.
Hi Terry,
My name is Florence Carter Rosario and I survived domestic violence, unfortunately, my goddaughter didn't and not only did the system fail her in life but also in death. I don't have an update on the story however the first time he almost killed her happened in 2003 and she went back. She finally had that aha moment and divorced him, had restraining orders, etc. but to no avail.
Man suspected of killing his wife is arrested when he shows up in court
By Mary Manning · April 1, 2008 · 3:40 PM
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You are correct, it is a very important show that all teen girls and grown women should watch. As a survivor of domestic violence, I understand why some of these ladies stay. Oprah said it before, IF he hits you once, he will do it again. It will not stop ladies, he'll just be sorry and beg forgiveness but eventually that ugly monster will rear it's head and you will be on the receiving end of it.
Part of the problem is the treatment of victims by some police officers. In my case, the officers, the detective and the grand jury were very insensitive and that alone made me want to run and hide under a rock.
Don't give up girls, if he hits you, run and run away as fast as your legs will carry you. We have so many options that staying does not have to be one of them. Once you have healed, send your message out to others so your tragedy may be what saves someone else. I used my story to help teach and train police departments about how to deal with victims, you can do the same thing.
We need each other to we can save the next one....