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It's 3:14am and I can't sleep.
My wife just woke me up by shoving me halfway across the bed...
"Shhhhhh! you were talking in your sleep," she mumbles...
You don't have to SHOVE me, I complain - too late as she has already turned over and resumed her gentle snoring -all in about 3 seconds.
Insomnia has been a constant companion in my life. If I wake up in the middle of the night, I can rarely get back to sleep -- so I look at her with more than a little jealousy and then stare at the ceiling for a while.
Most nights I would at least make a perfunctory attempt to doze off - but tonight it's just not happening.
I kiss her on the cheek and tip toe into the kids' room to watch them breathe for a while.
Then down to the computer room, stopping by the kitchen to get a banana. I know from my years of working as Dr. Oz's producer that bananas contain sleep-inducing melatonin and serotonin as well as the muscle relaxant magnesium. "It's a pill in a peel," I think to myself and make a mental note to use that in an upcoming show.
Except this banana isn't doing anything for me, so I decide this is as good a time as any to start my first blog.
Part of being a producer for The Oprah Show requires juggling more than a dozen projects at the same time - and while any one of those can set my mind racing at night, it's not the reason I am writing this at 3:14am.
The cause of my insomnia? Michael J. Fox.
Yes, Michael J. Fox --- you know: Alex P. Keaton from "Family Ties," Marty McFly from "Back to the Future," Mike Flaherty from "Spin City."
He's the main guest on the show I am working on. Since he went public with his Parkinson's disease about a decade ago, Michael has put a personal face on this difficult disease that affects millions.
Last week Dr. Oz spent part of a day with Michael and his charming wife, Tracy Pollan...and yesterday I watched all the field tapes - about 4 hours of unedited conversation.
And now - I can't stop thinking about him.
The word "amazing" is overused nowadays - but it is the one word that comes to mind to describe him.
Ok, not really. Here's few more adjectives: inspiring, humble, down to earth, a real mensch* (as my grandmother would say.)
As he tells Dr Oz what his day to day life is like coping with his Parkinson's, Michael is visibly trembling, shaking, and experiencing a loss of motor control - all typical symptoms....
Imagine what that feels like - what it would be like to walk in his shoes....
As I listen to more of his conversation, I am struck by the ying-yang that is his life -he has an inner peace even though it looks like he is at war with his own body....
And then, he says something that gives me a full-on light-bulb moment.
I don't want to tell you right now what he said that most inspired me- you can see it for yourself on March 31st when this show airs. But I will tell you this: the next time I am whining about one of life's trivial annoyances, I am going to remember what Michael J. Fox says - and remember how his quiet strength has sustained him and his family.
When I preinterviewed him in preparation for the show, I asked him his intention - what did he want to accomplish by telling his story? One of the things he said was that he wanted people to know that his disease does not define him - that he is normal.
Normal?
Look at this partial transcript of Dr Oz's conversation with Tracy and Michael -- they are describing the side effects of some of the medication he takes to control his Parkinson's...
Tracy: It makes him have very vivid dreams. very vocal dreams so sometimes there's a whole action scene going.
Michael: She'll be asleep and all of a sudden she'll hear me go.....bam! and then go back to sleep.
Dr.Oz: So (Tracy) it wakes you up but not Michael up?
Tracy: Yeah! It doesn't wake him up! I mean I wake him up. I like shove him.
A wife shoving her husband for talking in his sleep?
Sounds normal to me.
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*Mensch (Yiddish: mentsh, German: Mensch, for human being) means "a person of integrity and honor"
Most of us tend to dwell on the negatives of our own lives, until we have insight into someone elses life. Only then do we realize that our lives aren't so bad after all.