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Producer Jack's Blog

by producerjm

3:14am - My Wife Shoves Me Awake

Posted on Mar 12, 2009 3:14 AM

It's 3:14am and I can't sleep.

My wife just woke me up by shoving me halfway across the bed...

"Shhhhhh! you were talking in your sleep," she mumbles...

You don't have to SHOVE me, I complain - too late as she has already turned over and resumed her gentle snoring -all in about 3 seconds.

Insomnia has been a constant companion in my life. If I wake up in the middle of the night, I can rarely get back to sleep -- so I look at her with more than a little jealousy and then stare at the ceiling for a while.

Most nights I would at least make a perfunctory attempt to doze off - but tonight it's just not happening.

I kiss her on the cheek and tip toe into the kids' room to watch them breathe for a while.

Then down to the computer room, stopping by the kitchen to get a banana. I know from my years of working as Dr. Oz's producer that bananas contain sleep-inducing melatonin and serotonin as well as the muscle relaxant magnesium. "It's a pill in a peel," I think to myself and make a mental note to use that in an upcoming show.

Except this banana isn't doing anything for me, so I decide this is as good a time as any to start my first blog.

Part of being a producer for The Oprah Show requires juggling more than a dozen projects at the same time - and while any one of those can set my mind racing at night, it's not the reason I am writing this at 3:14am.

The cause of my insomnia? Michael J. Fox.

Yes, Michael J. Fox --- you know: Alex P. Keaton from "Family Ties," Marty McFly from "Back to the Future," Mike Flaherty from "Spin City."

He's the main guest on the show I am working on. Since he went public with his Parkinson's disease about a decade ago, Michael has put a personal face on this difficult disease that affects millions.

Last week Dr. Oz spent part of a day with Michael and his charming wife, Tracy Pollan...and yesterday I watched all the field tapes - about 4 hours of unedited conversation.

And now - I can't stop thinking about him.

The word "amazing" is overused nowadays - but it is the one word that comes to mind to describe him.

Ok, not really. Here's few more adjectives: inspiring, humble, down to earth, a real mensch* (as my grandmother would say.)

As he tells Dr Oz what his day to day life is like coping with his Parkinson's, Michael is visibly trembling, shaking, and experiencing a loss of motor control - all typical symptoms....

Imagine what that feels like - what it would be like to walk in his shoes....

As I listen to more of his conversation, I am struck by the ying-yang that is his life -he has an inner peace even though it looks like he is at war with his own body....

And then, he says something that gives me a full-on light-bulb moment.

I don't want to tell you right now what he said that most inspired me- you can see it for yourself on March 31st when this show airs. But I will tell you this: the next time I am whining about one of life's trivial annoyances, I am going to remember what Michael J. Fox says - and remember how his quiet strength has sustained him and his family.

When I preinterviewed him in preparation for the show, I asked him his intention - what did he want to accomplish by telling his story? One of the things he said was that he wanted people to know that his disease does not define him - that he is normal.

Normal?

Look at this partial transcript of Dr Oz's conversation with Tracy and Michael -- they are describing the side effects of some of the medication he takes to control his Parkinson's...

Tracy: It makes him have very vivid dreams. very vocal dreams so sometimes there's a whole action scene going.

Michael: She'll be asleep and all of a sudden she'll hear me go.....bam! and then go back to sleep.

Dr.Oz: So (Tracy) it wakes you up but not Michael up?

Tracy: Yeah! It doesn't wake him up! I mean I wake him up. I like shove him.

A wife shoving her husband for talking in his sleep?

Sounds normal to me.

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*Mensch (Yiddish: mentsh, German: Mensch, for human being) means "a person of integrity and honor"

26 Comments
Comments

Most of us tend to dwell on the negatives of our own lives, until we have insight into someone elses life. Only then do we realize that our lives aren't so bad after all.

Hi Jack,

a comment from Australia - why not invest in double double beds?? Big enough for a cuddle and close enough to be able to jump back into own bed to sleep and mumble at will at an unshovable range.
sweet dreams, Penni

PS why are there gambling links on the front page of the Oprah site??
Scratch2cash will, I am sure, appeal to many of your visitors and it is probably at a time when they can least afford to take risks with what money they have. I was very disappointed to it it there having seen many of your shows about the problem of gambling in the home. I am also sure neither Suzi or Jean would agree that it is a good idea to have it there.

Penni/Darwin Australia.

This is the most beautifully written blog i have ever read -- was this in "o" magazine? Michael J Fox sounds amazing -- can't wait to see the show. One question Jack -- you sound like a wonderful husband and father -- do you have a brother!?

Great blog...you've inspired me to respond. I am looking forward to seeing Michael J Fox on the show. You are fortunate to be within the scene and We are fortunate to have the opportunity to be exposed to these great people and their stories. The best to all of you at Harpo. I am grateful.

Hey there Producer Jack, thanks for the post. I have chills all over. I've just had a rough day myself, trembling and shaking my way through a two-day writer's conference, since I usually don't leave the house much. Your post was almost like a "pill in a peel." Ah feel mutch betttahh now, thank you. I'll be watching Michael J. Fox on March 31st.

I have a question for you: has Dr. Oz ever covered fibromyalgia? It afflicts approximately six million Americans, mainly women. My identical twin sister and I both came down with symptoms after being exposed to paint fumes, two years apart from each other. The condition has changed our lives . . . for the better in many surprising ways. But I have so many unanswered questions. Grrrr! I'd love to hear his take on it. Put a bee in Dr. Oz's bonnet, will you? And get back to sleep!

thanks for "pill in a peel" my sister and i both suffer and have not been able to find a cure...drugs do not help to get a FULL nights sleep.

Hi Jack -
Thank for the positive spin on being married! Had you ever considered doing a show on what it takes to stay married? How about celebrating the people that beat the odds -- just like Mr. Fox and his wife? Too much news and reality tv is about breaking up - falling out - why not do a show about the folks that beat the odds - against the odds?
I know whereof I speak - been married 27 years (almost) to a guy that has to be away from home most of the time -- my husband is a clown with Cirque due Soleil - currently touring with Kooza. We've been through a lot of challenges but still manage to make our relationship a priority. I bet there are a ton of stories out there about couples that sacrifice and support each other against the odds. Take care - and thanks for the great programming - the Oprah Show has shaped a whole generation of consciousness!

Hi Jack,

Were you a writer in a past life?? Wonderful blog entry.

I have been a frequent guest on Oprah Radio (on Meet the Peets) as well as featured on Oprah.com twice. I would love to know if you will be delving into any of Michael J Fox's dreams! What a unique glimpse into his psyche that would be!

Now about your lack of sleep! A lack of sleep means a lack of dreams (and dreams are full of ideas and inner guidance: The Twilight books, the sewing machine, Nike shoes, these all came from dreams). I hate to think you are missing out. What are we going to do with you young man?

Jack,
Well done blog post! I enjoyed reading it and will come back for more. As I was reading I was also thinking the same thing Janey999 wrote. Do you have a brother? single, 30-40 something? educated and employed?

All the best with your blog!
~Ginny

Wow Jack.

I haven't read too many blogs, but I have just read yours and I enjoyed it and I know I will enjoy the Michael J. Fox show on the 31st. I look forward to seeing it and to see what God has done to sustain him and his family. This is a testament to every facet of anyone's lives and everyone should be lifted and inspired by this young man. Thank you again Jack. God Bless you and your family.

Wow Jack. I haven't read too many blogs, but I have just read yours and I enjoyed it and I know I will enjoy the Michael J. Fox show on the 31st. I look forward to seeing it and to see what God has done to sustain him and his family. This is a testament to every facet of anyone's lives and everyone should be lifted and inspired by this young man. Thank you again Jack. God Bless you and your family.

Beautiful post! Thank you. I don't know much about Michael J. Fox, but he always comes across as an incredible person. I am so proud that he is from Canada. And there's something so endlessly sweet that he married Tracy Pollan after we all watched the beginning of their relationship together as two different characters.

I look forward to reading more of your posts, Jack.

Oh, and a professor told my literary criticism class years ago what he does when he can't sleep: he lies in bed, closes his eyes and counts backwards from a hundred, one number with each slow breath. He visualizes each number and does everything in his power not to let any other thoughts come into his head. It takes some practice. But it's pretty effective -- I've only made it to zero once. (Then again, I wouldn't say I suffer from serious insomnia...)

Jack,
I loved reading your blog. Your comments about Michael J. Fox were poignant and touching. However what caught my attention the most was your problem with insomnia. I have also battled with it for the past several years. There's nothing worse than attempting to get a good night sleep and not being able to. Well maybe what's worse is having a spouse who can sleep like a baby even though I'm flipping around the bed the whole night like a Mexican jumping bean. Recently a doctor suggested I try taking Benadryl before I go to bed. It makes you drowsy but is non-habit forming. Maybe this can help you too. Good luck.

Hi Jack:

I just wanted to tell you what a wonderful story you have written. Are you a writer as well as a producer? If not you should be. Are you the medical guy? I have always been a fan of Michael J. A man of true courage and dignity. Am looking forward to the show and very curious about the light bulb moment.

I do not know if you will be discussing the stem cell issue or not. If you do not I hope that you will do so in a future show. I know that research using embryonic stem cells is a very difficult and highly emotionally charged subject but I think that there is a lot the public needs to know.

Most do not know that there are two types of stem cells ¿ embryonic and your own or a donors. Your own and donor stem cells are already being used in medical treatments and research. I did not know this until I was diagnosed with Mutiple Myeloma. Had chemo and a stem cell transplant using my own cells and am doing fine.

Donating your stem cells is as easy as giving blood and yet there are thousands of leukemia, lymphoma and other cancer patients dying each year because the public does not know this. Part of the problem is that when you say stem cells everyone thinks (and reacts to) embryonic. I know I did. That is because no one talks about the other stem cells.

And did you know that when they take your blood to separate out the stem cells they spin it in a machine whose design is based on that of a milking machine? I have always loved cows.

Hi Jack

Me again. Forgot to say that I think a show on ¿sleep¿ would be a great idea. I know some of the shows have touched on this (night terrors, menopausal insomnia, sleep eating) but since it is so important for our health and takes up so much of our lives I think it could be done in depth. And it could be really fun. Especially if you went for the some silly stuff as well as the serious side ¿ insomnia remedies, different ways of sleeping, the way different cultures view sleep and of course, the odd and quirky things people do while sleeping.

I did not know about the pill in a peel (really terrific phrase!). Since we live in the Yukon Territory where we have 22 hours of daylight in the summer I do know about wearing sunglasses in the house for 2 hours before going to bed to fool your brain into thinking it is dusk. Works very well to relax you. Unfortunately the moment I hit the sheets I am wide awake. Probably something to do with the our neighbours barbecuing and cutting the lawn at midnight.

Have you ever heard of a three dog night? The first winter up here when the temperature hit 45 below zero my husband told me that the Old Timers say that the only way to stay warm is to take three sled dogs into bed with you. Well, we had 3 dogs that my husband spoiled rotten but I said no thanks I¿d rather freeze. Having one snoring, twitching, farting hound in my bed is all that my wedding vows committed me to.

Jack, I look forward to this show. I think it's so generous of MJ to allow us into his world & show us what this illness does to him.

I REALLY enjoyed the Montel Williams episode & cried along w/ him through the pain of every day. I can identify w/ both of them as I'm currently battling cancer for the 2nd time. It initially was in the breast & is now travelled to my lungs & liver. The tough days are really tough - the pain, depression, fatigue, being short of breath, insomnia...etc. Watching Montel did make an impact in me in renewing my will to live & stop wallowing in my stuff.

And I know this will give hope to others who are ill & live w/ chronic diseases.

I have some very funny stories of talking in my sleep after being sleep deprived or being sick.. I have yelled at my kids, told them to do weird things.. and one time I actually called them to gather round me cuz I had something to tell them.. well when I woke up with them around me we all just laughed...

I however topped the cake off one night when I actually woke us both up as I rolled up on my elbow, pointed my finger in his face and yelled at him "Don't you ever do that to me again!". My now ex never let me live that one down or how I started to say "Help me, Help me" in a low tone almost audible sound after falling asleep while watching the Exorcist. He never again would watch a scary movie with me. Although he denies that was the cause, I sill have my doubts.

A story on talking in your sleep would be a very awesome story. I wonder what I talk about on a regular basis when no one is there to hear.

....it's clear as to why you belong as a Producer for Oprah. Your thoughts make me think. For that, I thank you.

Jack,
Can't wait to see fellow Canadian Michael J. on with Dr. Oz. How lucky you are to work with a gifted doctor who shows so much compassion and understanding for his patients! I LOVE all things Oprah but I am constantly inspired by the good doc and learn SO much from him--I now tape his shows and take notes throughout! Thank you for sharing your story with a humorous twist! Hope you find a way to get a restful night!

For all the people that can't sleep...drink Monavie! You can do all the research on it...but drink this juice for 2 weeks and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Thank you janey and thanks to everyone who took the time to respond to my blog! The MJF show airs tuesday -- I hope you'll all tune in!

FYI -- I DO NOT have a brother -- sorry! :)

Dear Jack,

Thank you so much for your hard work on the show with MJF. It was amazing -- just as I expected. When I saw the show where Oprah interviewed Michael re: his release of "Lucky Man," I called the book store to hold a copy for me. I read it that night. What an amazing and spirit-centered human being! I have since read that book a few times and look forward to his new one. Michael is one of those rare gifts to the planet, who is truly evolving himself and the world. I am so glad that he is doing a show on Gross National Happiness. I have used the Bhutan example in my work as a consultant in North America and around the world on promoting child development. I so look forward to the show.

Please convey to Michael my (and I know others) gratitude and admiration. And I look forward to the medical advances that will occur soon thanks to his work and those of President Obama and others.

Finally, I hope you also know how much Oprah viewers are thankful for what you do -- bringing your expertise and passion to produce such outstanding television. I loved the part of the 20th Anniversary DVDs on "Inside Harpo." That is why I am glad the producers are coming out more through blogging.

Thank you so much! Kathleen Guy

Dear Jack and all other Harpo Producers :

RE; Show Idea - Susan Boyle

She is great. I would love to see her on Oprh singing live really soon, before everybody starts booking her.

Thanks for considering this. Ihave to go fast. I am on lunch. Susan Boyle made me skip food and brought tears to both eyes that had a hard time supressing. She is a great new find of true talent. Ilove the way she walked on stage. I knew she had it from her walk. It reminded me of Whitney Houston walking in the Greatest Love of all video.

No Time To Edit
A. Wetisby M.

Dear Jack

This may not be with the the topics but I have a favor to ask....
I wrote to Oprah a while back and ask her when she may have Sir Paul McCartney on her show again...it has been a while since he was last on there. You need to help me out Jack. I want to meet Paul, it is one of the "things to do before I die" I am not a stalker or a wacko, just a normal woman with a career in Cosmetology. I have a family,kids, grandkids, husband...I was one of the millions that watched the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan show way back when. I just want to meet him, shake his hand, maybe give him a hug and say "thanx" . Music is such an inspiration to me and it takes you to a special place in life when life isn't that good. Well that is what his music has done for me all my life...It is just something I want to do and it never hurts to ask. Could you check into this for me?? Wouldn't it be awesome if I could meet Sir Paul and Oprah at the same time???? Thanx and have a great evening...Brenda D

Jack.
Thank you for the information your information, the Michael J Fox was inspirational and wonderful.
Also can you work in marriage here and there. I have happilly married for ten years, but it is good to see how others make happen.
Edgardo.

You are an excellent writer; you should write more often. Karena

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