jmk1979

Jill,

I was particularly intrigued when the title of the collection appeared in My Parents' Bedroom. Not only was this the most horrific of all of the stories, but it was also the one that truly illuminated the divide between innocent adolescence and the harsh realities of adulthood; loss, betrayal, fear, hatred, brutality and death. I take Say You're One of Them as the title of the collection to mean, return to the truth that we have as children, the honesty with which we can see the world and the purity we have in our hearts. Read these stories and put yourself in their shoes, see your own life through their eyes.

A question I would love to ask Uwem Akpan is, did he realize, when writing these stories about poverty and prostitution, war and death, that people on the other side of the world, living lives so far removed from those hardships and struggles detailed in the book, would still be able to relate to the emotional context of these tales? Was it his goal to write stories with such a universal theme or is he surprised by the emotional connection?

producerji

Oct 31, 2009 8:48 AM

  |   in response to: jmk1979

Thank you for all your posts about this book AND for skyping in on Friday's show at the last minute to chat with Oprah about this book! You were FANTASTIC and your enthusiasm for the book was infectious! For all of you who haven't yet seen the show from yesterday -- stay tuned to the last segment to see Oprah talk about the upcoming webcast, how to get our first story download for free AND speak to one of our favorite bookclubbers!

livehappy4

Hi Jill,

I just signed up for the webcast and look forward to it!

Thanks for keeping up with your blog. It gives me a nice diversion from my task at hand:-)

Melissa

odibinga

I would like to ask the author what he sees as the future of the global child. John Maxwell said that when there is hope in the future, there is power in the present. Children are supposed to be our hope for the future but we are crushing them on a daily basis like the grass under two battling elephants. I would like to know his thoughts on this...

menax4

I don't usually read fiction but i was somehow drawn to this book. I could not put this book down. After reading "say your one of them", i felt a profound reaction. Every nerve in the depth of my being was on fire. I felt that the whole of humanity was neglecting the needs not wants of our very fiber called the human family. My husband and I along with our children have volunteered to help any child or person in need. These values are being past on to my grandchildren. I know it starts at home. But now what? thank you Father Akpan for opening my eyes. jamey breerwood

jobitek

Hi Jill,
I'd like first to comment on Oprah's assertion that everything turned all over a sudden in Rwanda when the killings began. Things did not just turn. What the kids might not have been aware of(that the adults knew very well) were the radio broadcasts that incited people against each other for weeks before the genocide. We knew about this before the killings began. We knew something horrible was going to happen. And it did. And nothing happened outside Rwanda even while our Canadian General Romeo Dallaire radioed desperately for help from Kigali (see Shake Hands with the Devil)... What I'd like to tell Akpan is how proud I am that he has not only managed to get the stories so well put down, but he has also, in my estimation, gotten all the accents and regional voices correct. I'm curious to know about his writing process because I see hear his work more than I can see it. His children's voices are so clear! What do the stories do to him when he has finished? Do they haunt him still, or are they exorcised by his writing?

carolkenny

Dear Jill, Reading the title "Say You're One of Them," in this tragic story raised more questions than answers for me.

One thematic thread woven through these stories is that bigotry (them vs. us) has caused global devastation. Just to survive, I see why the child might have to align herself with either the Hutus or the Tutsis, if one of "them" captured her. However, it broke my heart to think that she would be confined to either group. I see her salvation as being her own true self, an individual at peace with other individuals.

As civilization evolves toward Eckhart Tolle's "New Earth," we need to stop defining individuals based on race, religion, nationality, or tribe. These stories taught me that we must stop dividing the world into "them" and "us." Instead, we must create a world where all people are entitled to live their best lives.

I want to ask Uwem Akpan how he intended the title to be interpreted by "us," his readers. The book was brilliant, and I can affirm that I am "one of them," if by "them" you mean human beings who want to see an end to the pain and suffering that I saw through the eyes and felt through the souls of these children.

kathym530

Monique says this to her daughter to try to ensure her survival...perhaps the author is saying this to US to ensure humanity's, in the example of the children of Africa's, survival. I read something recently, that said, "we make an idolatrous image of ourselves and call it God". Sometimes I have thought..how could God let these things, war, suffering, things such as the events from the book happen. If there were a God, this would not be. Or..I don't like this God that he allows this. I think the point of the book and the title is to break down those walls that sects, denominations, organizations, religions, sex, race, creed create with their own idolatrous images. We were not created to do these things, the tools are in this world to stop them from happening, we just have not evolved enough to use them. I think the point of this book is to bring us closer...to the view that we are all ONE, whatever you happen to call that power that is greater than ourselves..

The book also gave me a new level of empathy and compassion for the plight of Africans in these situations...perhaps because the suffering came from the voices of children..I identified with them but I also identified with their oppressors and what poverty, injustice and fear can cause us to do. It opened my eyes just a little wider....when someone asks me how the book was...its hard to say it was a good book. It was an enlightening book...an awakening book...along the lines of Three Cups of Tea....

If I were asking the author questions they would be along the lines of this...How does God and these horrors exist in the same universe and why...

thanks for such a thought provoking book...Kathy

1soulorg

Thought for the day:
Repeatedly concentrate on any idea & your consciousness immediately gravitates towards experiencing that concept as truth. Focus on hate & you become hateful. Focus on love & you become loving. Focus on lack & you become poor. Focus on abundance & you become prosperous. Focus on God & become One with the Transcendental Source of all thoughts & never be a victim of life again but rather a master of creation! Go Oprah!

swanyce

"My Parents' Bedroom" is absolutely the most powerful and horrifying realization of racism, how far human beings can go against other human beings. The genuine, candid, yet shaking to the bone words of Monique remind me of Immaculee Illibagiza in her "Left To Tell" account of surviving the Rwandan genocide.

As Jobitek mentioned earlier, I am sure Akpan tried to be as gentle as possible when telling this story. Yet, such extreme acts of violence leave a mark in our souls and should teach us to never, ever, go back there again in history. "Say You're One Of Them" is the true reminder that this is a reality, that this is happening, and that we should be aware of it. Yes, these children voices are our children's voices because we are, in a way or the other, all connected. We are one of them.

I can't wait for the webcast on Monday.

omariam

Nov 6, 2009 12:25 AM

  |   in response to: producerji

Say you're one of them" is one of a kind. This book has given me the boldness to share my secret with my family. I grew up living with guilt, fear, and anger which was deeply rooted in me and I could not let go until lately. I was scared my family would reject or "hate" me for it. Unlike many stories we've heard in the past about children being sexually abused by adults, mine is different. I was abused by my peers and Adults. I relate to Maisha in the story of An Ex-mas feast. Growing up I was exposed to sexual activities even before I knew the meaning; I was threatened by my "close friend" to sleep with her, if not, she would hurt me or lie to my parents that I was being naught at school. I grew up in Nigeria, where children feared their parents and they would do anything to please them. I love my parents, they are hardworking people, loving, but a little tough yet, they do everything to help others in need even when they have a little. They adopt any child that comes their way. Having said this, I wish my childhood were different from what it was. Where I lived in Nigeria, it was a combination of home, office, and hotel. My Father is a contractor, he bought a land and he built all these buildings on it. This meant no privacy at all especially for my sisters and I who wanted it the most. Knowing that our father was a father to all including all employees, we related to these employees as siblings rather than mere workers. I was very young about six or seven when two of our employees were messing with me, although none of them physically molested me, however, they touched me in inappropriate places, which roused feelings that shouldn¿t have at that age. It was around that year I met my ¿close friend¿, she was two years older than I was, I related to her as an older sibling because my sisters went off to boarding school early- I had no one to look up to or play with- she threatened me and made me play the ¿mom and dad¿s game¿ with her if not she would lie to my parents that I stole or did something naughty at school. She knew that I loved my parents and hated getting them angry. So I did all she wanted. This happened for a while until she moved to a different state. These acts kindled fear, anxiety, I hated making new friends, and I trusted no one. I moved to United States, at first I found it very difficult to adapt to the society; I was derided by classmates, called several names and I felt I didn¿t belong anywhere. It brought back memories of isolation. With time I had adjusted to the society, made a few friends-- and now serve a role model to my younger siblings. I just graduated from high school with honors, and I look forward to studying child-psychology in college hopefully January 2010. After reading this book it gave me the boldness to explain to my family members my reasons for choosing child psychology as my major. I believe there¿s hope in my story and that¿s what Mr. Uwem Akpan convey in his stories.
My Question of his is - How early is too early to talk sex talk with one¿s child? or How early is too early to talk ¿grown up talks¿ with one¿s child?

carolkenny

Nov 6, 2009 12:42 PM

  |   in response to: 1soulorg

This is so true, which is why I hope that during the Web Event on Monday evening, Oprah, Uwem, and Anderson will help us let go of our painful memories about the evil inflicted on these children and shift our focus to the positive steps we can take globally and in our own communities. We need to assist in the evolution of civilization, so that we settle our disputes with diplomacy, not weapons.

As civilization evolves, people will treat each other with compassion and respect. We must eradicate poverty everyone in the world. However, this should be done simply because it's the right thing to do. If we focus on eradicating poverty to prevent violence, we could incite evil by teaching extortionists that evil actions cause increased charitable donations.

Let me be clear: I'm not saying that we shouldn't be charitable and work to eliminate poverty, but I think it's important that we do it, not in response to evil acts of violence and thievery, but because sharing the abundance of the universe is the right thing to do.

I want to know how Oprah, Uwem, and Anderson feel about this, as well as what they think about every lesson revealed in this brilliant book.

producerji

Nov 8, 2009 7:55 AM

  |   in response to: carolkenny

We are all about sharing the abundance of the universe! I hope you enjoy our web event tomorrow night, 11/9 -- at 9pm EST, 8pm CST.

claudiadan

Does anyone know if the webcast will be available online after tonight? I have a class on Monday night and would like to view it after I get home?

justso

Nov 10, 2009 11:21 AM

  |   in response to: claudiadan

The webcast video is available now to watch
I plan on watching again, because I had a freeze up problem with my computer.
I was glad that I had a chance to watch as much of it as I did.

As human beings we do need to care and be aware of what is going on in our world. Being aware and creating dialog, and educating each other about the suffering of those with no voice is a good place to start to find loving ways to help others.

This subject holds meaning to me. I am the daughter of a survivor of a genocide inflicted upon Yugoslavian/Ethnic German civilians ( called the Donauschwaben) who had helped to settle this region and had been citizens of it for centuries during and up until 1944 when they were set upon in inhumane ways on a grand scale.

I have just recently found information regarding this subject due to the writings of brave survivor/authors who were victimized children of this time in history. I am also coming to the realization that it has been a mostly unspoken sad history, as far as our teaching of it in schools or our media.
It is sad to think that these children many times being separated from their parents in these camps being brutalized by their adult captors and with no one, to come to their aide even years after WW11 ended. For more information on this subject a good starting point the Donauschwaben helping hands site.