trhjamaica

This story helped me relate to my almost 16-year-old twins and their developing "faith foundation". I was raised as a Baptist. My father became a Baptist minister durng my college years. So you can imagine how big a role church played in my life as a young child. In the small country town I grew up in, a child was basically told "it's time to get baptised before you're too big for the preacher to dip you in the water." So, as I look back on it, getting baptised was more of a coming of age type of thing, rather than a true conviction of my faith. So, when I was about 8 or 9 (see? I don't even remember how old I was!), summer revival occurred and I timidly approached the front of the church to let everyone in the church know I wanted to be baptised. And it happened.

For my sons, I believe in letting faith lead them to Christianity or whatever they choose, not my pushing and prodding. Needless to say, it caused a ruckus with my father when he told me "it's time for me to baptise the boys before they get too big for me to dip them in the water". When I let him know where I was coming from, he promptly told me I was failing as a parent because I wasn't pushing them to get baptised. We had to agree to disagree.

As my sons approach 16, one of them has discovered the Koran and its teachings. Both of them like to read the Christian Bible whenever they seek answers to questions they may ponder. To me, that's how a person comes to his/her faith conviction, whatever that is. And I'm glad I'm giving them the freedom to chooose that without condemnation if I don't happen to believe in the same thing they choose to believe.

As I read "Luxurious Hearses", I wondered how different the story would've been if everyone had been allowed to believe whatever they wanted without condemnation. The outcome of that story just let me know that my parenting skills ain't so bad when it comes to letting my sons have the freedom of choice when it comes to faith and religion. I just think it will have more meaning for them as they continue on their path of religious discovery.

What a powerful message about faith this story presented. I actually cried for the young boy as I finished reading the story.

producerji

Oct 16, 2009 9:42 PM

  |   in response to: trhjamaica

I think it takes a lot of courage to parent in a different way then the way you were raised. And, you bring up such a great point about what the end of the story could have been if they had lived in a world of acceptance instead of judging. That's a lesson for all of us. Your sons are very lucky to have a great parent like you who wants them to find their true path in life. Thank you for reading along with us!

livehappy4

**Hangs head in shame** I have not read this yet, but really wanted to respond to Jamaica. Although, Jill, I'm excited bc we have a Book Circle on my site and this is one of the books we're now circulating (also The Power of Now and the Gift of Fear) - as you can tell, we're striving for positive thoughts these days! YEA!

Jamaica - We have six children (yours, mine, and ours). I am Jewish by birth, my husband is Catholic. I am very spiritual and have followed pieces of many spiritual paths. What we've done overall with all of our kids, is to raise them knowing their religious backgrounds (by birth), accepting of all faiths, with the knowledge that they are free to explore spirituality and we'll support the paths they choose.

I have found two things in raising my kids, who are now 8-21 years old. First and foremost, as a parent, it is important to let your children find their own paths. It is equally important that they know their heritage and understand that although they may have come from a certain sect, they don't necessarily have to "buy into" that sect. They need to understand where they come from in order to figure out where they want to be.

Lastly, I have a lot of respect for people who reach out to other religions. I happen to believe that as long as our children are respectful, honest, contributing members of society, it doesn't really matter who or what "God" they believe in. Faith is so personal of an issue - how can any one person judge another based on their beliefs? It seems silly to me. You would think that as a society we should be past that type of discrimination, and yet, there are still those that find the borders of religion a reason to fight or judge.

I really respect you for supporting your 16-year-old's decision to grow spiritually. It's so hard for some parents to do, and such an internal struggle for children who do not agree with their parents' religious beliefs. I think many people are afraid of what they don't understand. Your son will benefit from your support.

Peace and light,
Melissa

carolkenny

PJ, you are so right. These stories are written as foreign fiction, but they convey evil that exists throughout the world, near and far. In the late 1970s, in Greensboro, NC, the KKK murdered a group of people. One of the men, a minister, who was injured, traveled with his wife, when my husband and I went on an Interfaith Mission to Israel. We were assigned as Bus Buddies, and as the bus trudged to Jerusalem, he told me that the police had been ordered to stay away from the housing project the day of the murders, knowing that a racial war would be raging. That occurred more than a century after the American era of slavery. Now, with the election of an African-American president, I thought that racism had been extinguished, but sadly, stories like the one you mention, prove that we have a long way to go to fulfill the promise of justice and equality, upon which we were founded. Akpan¿s story explored the horrors of hostility, generated by bigotry. We must seek ways to eliminate these evil actions from the world, and it appears that they reside closer to home than we expected.

globalgram

I spent an hour writing an answer to your blog, only to have the site lose it. Sooo frustrating. I would have liked to contribute to the discussion, but who has another hour to reconstruct a post?

katypix

"Luxurious Hearses" - and the Justice of the Peace's recent refusal to marry an interracial couple - sounded some familiar chords for me. I'm a White Christian lady, married to a Muslim man, from the Indian Subcontinent. Neither of us were ever interested in converting to the other's religion and paid no real attention to those who thought we were committing a terrible sin by being together. I would have to say that we are both fairly liberal in our interpretations, so it was possible for there to be an atmosphere of tolerance and searching for commonalities over the years. We have allowed our children to decide what their own religious paths would be; all of us see pure religion has unsupportive of violence and intolerance - no matter the belief system. "Luxurious Hearses" accentuated the way that religion is used and abused to the point that it becomes the antithesis of that very religion; what happens to Christian charity on the bus?! The pure suffering of Jubril over his identity and what he must do to hide it is agonizing to the reader - He is subjected to judgement before he can even open his mouth, by those whose God requires them not to be judgemental. The only way to overcome such fanaticism, no matter the religion, is through opening the minds of people, with education.

carolkenny

Oct 18, 2009 8:57 AM

  |   in response to: katypix

I agree. Education by parents, school teachers, and religious leaders can bring everyone to the open, loving hearts of Best Friends, the children in one of Akpan's stories. I am a Catholic woman, married to a Jewish man, and one of our best friends is Muslim. We have, what Obama has recommended for the world: "mutual respect." I admire anyone who is willing to live a life of compassion and integrity because of thier commitment to their religion.

rooted1968

******I TRIED TO POST THIS IN THE "HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO AFRICA" PAGE, BUT AFTER SPENDING OVER AN HOUR SHORTENING MY SUBMISSION TO 2000 CHARACTERS IT WOULD NOT ALLOW ME TO SUBMIT IT WITHOUT PICTURES AND VIDEO. SINCE I ONLY HAD A FILM CAMERA AND 8 MM VIDEO DURING MY TRIP, I'M UNABLE TO DO SO, SO I GAVE UP. FRUSTRATING!
I SUPPOSE I COULD GO BACK AND TELL THE "WHOLE" STORY HERE, BUT I'VE NOW LOST INTEREST. SO HERE IT IS.....*********

I went to SOUTH AFRICA as a volunteer in 8/05 after your Wildest Dreams contest inspired me to finally make my LIFELONG dream come true.
While reading "Luxurious Hearses" I was reminded of my last day there, when I was accidentally put on the wrong "luxurious" bus, still 7 hrs from Jo'Burg where my flight was to leave from later that day. Jesus was on the radio which should have alerted me sooner, but I thought "no that's impossible they can't leave me all alone in Africa on THE WRONG BUS!" After a few minutes I showed the driver my ticket, and was told "this is the black bus!"
I realized that my friend from the reserve had already left, I had no way to call them, had no Rands left, and I was in a rural village where I was the only white person in sight. But before I could panic a very kind man, whom I'd seen talking to my friend earlier, offered to take me to the right bus. Of course when we got there my bus had already gone. But "no worries" he would take me to a taxi. So now the tears came unbidden. In my defense I had PMS and couldn't help it. I was never afraid, just overwhelmed. He asked me why my eyes were leaking, and where was my husband, as I explained to him that I had no $ left. "No worries, I have a friend" as he took me to meet a woman that kindly took my $5 & exchanged it for Rands. So I'm thinking, "ok the taxi can intercept the bus, "no worries" only the taxi was a mini bus that wouldn't leave until full. And when I say full I mean 19 people crammed inside, along with countless "carry ons." Over an HOUR later the taxi w/ a driver that spoke no English finally left..........
Sorry Oprah, this story EVENTUALLY has a happy ending, but there's no way it can be told with only 2000 characters.
The takeaway for me was the overwhelming kindness of this stranger. (I suspect this would have never happened in the states were the situation reversed and I was black) the abundance of joy and kindness in the midst of extreme poverty, and sadly that there is still SO MUCH injustice, still so much "white power" there.
Oprah, Africa will forever be a part of me. She holds residence in my heart. When I was there I felt like I was home, like I was taking root. I miss it so much. Someday, somehow, I will find a way to go back, and try and give back what she has given me.

*** sorry folks, I know I didn't exactly tie this in with the book the way I would have liked to. This should have been posted to the have you ever been to Africa page.

producerji

Oct 19, 2009 3:02 PM

  |   in response to: rooted1968

I'm sorry to hear about your posting frustrations. I will pass along your comments to our internet staff to see what we can do to make it better for you and all our users in the future. I loved your story about your trip and applaud your courage to live out your wildest dream. The true beauty of Africa defies simple descriptions. I believe once someone travels there and discovers the real Africa, like you did, that person is forever changed for the better. Thank you for your comments!

arkbear471

Oct 19, 2009 7:50 PM

  |   in response to: producerji

What exactly is the real Africa? Is it where we see beauty and sights never believed to exist in a Nation where we sit amongst water wells of plenty and food scraps which are left for dogs instead of starving bellies?

I have been to numerous countries where the mountains and landscapes fooled me into thinking I was somewhere real ....and then I returned home to Benton, Arkansas, ( Bella Vista actually, 5 miles down the road) Home of the Wal Mart King.....where you would not think there would not be starvation and hunger. But there is, and I am saddened to say, it does not take a trip to Africa to see the realness of it.....yet only look in our own backyards at our neighbors who have lost everything in the past ( 5 ) years due to lay-offs and closures.

We as a Nation, should rise together and fight back against the Government which controls us. It was not meant to be like this! We were meant to have the land of milk & honey....overflowing with wealth and education. We have lost this promise by the lack of the different Faiths mentioned in previous comments.

A personal relationship with God is your best bet.....other than that, you can kiss your real Africa and anything of value, goodbye.

Madison Shaw -

Author of, The Coxville Murders

arkbear471

Oct 19, 2009 7:51 PM

  |   in response to: producerji

What exactly is the real Africa? Is it where we see beauty and sights never believed to exist in a Nation where we sit amongst water wells of plenty and food scraps which are left for dogs instead of starving bellies?

I have been to numerous countries where the mountains and landscapes fooled me into thinking I was somewhere real ....and then I returned home to Benton, Arkansas, ( Bella Vista actually, 5 miles down the road) Home of the Wal Mart King.....where you would not think there would not be starvation and hunger. But there is, and I am saddened to say, it does not take a trip to Africa to see the realness of it.....yet only look in our own backyards at our neighbors who have lost everything in the past ( 5 ) years due to lay-offs and closures.

We as a Nation, should rise together and fight back against the Government which controls us. It was not meant to be like this! We were meant to have the land of milk & honey....overflowing with wealth and education. We have lost this promise by the lack of the different Faiths mentioned in previous comments.

A personal relationship with God is your best bet.....other than that, you can kiss your real Africa and anything of value, goodbye.

Madison Shaw -

Author of, The Coxville Murders

buckeye_5

I have to say that I was quite alarmed by the story about this Justice of the Peace. No alarmed is an understatment, more like mortified, horified, disgusted, saddend and disappointed.

The year is almost 2010, and I never would have believed that this type of injustice could happen in AMERICA!!! I am the mother of 6 extremely wonderful biracial children. I am a 34 year old black woman with a white husband. We have been married for 11 years, own our own company and are greatful everyday for such a wonderful life.

How in this day and age anyone can say that our love is wrong and should be denied blows me away. We do not live in the south, but I just can not believe that anywhere in the US that this type of injustice is permitted! This story broke my heart!!!!

For this man to basically say that my children are mistakes, just shows how far "some" people have not come. The day before I read this story, I had been at 4 parent teacher conferences for my school age children. Each and every teacher gave my children glowing reports! One teacher even said that my child was the best student they have ever had. I was so touched. That day was my actually my birthday, and those praise reports were the best birthday presents that I could have recieved!!

My husband and I met in high school back in 1990. We lived in a small town and interracial dating was not very well accepted. We were the first "out" couple, and eventhough I lived through that nearly 20 years ago, I am still shocked by this Justice of the Peace.

My children are happy, healthy, well adjusted kids. They are well mannered and a joy to be around. I hope that people who harbor these type of prejudices will open their eyes and see that there is so much more to people and love than the limits that they try to put on them.

I know that you are a book club producer, but I hope that Oprah will do a show about the this subject. There are so many interracial couples who are happily married and successfully raising families. I think it would be a great chance to expose this type of bigotry and shed some light to people like this judge who are still clearly in the dark!

Thank you.

carolkenny

Dear Read'n4fun, I just took time to pray for your son's safety. I've enjoyed getting to know you through your insight as a reader, and I'll continue to pray for your son.

This book selection by that brilliant reader, Oprah Winfrey, has come at a time when the world needs to learn the lessons that Uwem Akpan has woven through these tales of terror. Religion is about our feelings of gratitude to the one Supreme Being who created the earth and all life that exists on it. It's not about killing and brutal abuse of other human beings.

I've never academically studied all the religions of the world, so I can't speak with authority, but I feel certain that no true religion is an advocate for cruelty and violence. Religious leaders throughout the world need to focus on educating their followers regarding the essence of their faith, outlawing acts of violence and not allowing religion to be used as an excuse for attacks on other human beings.

I'll add to my prayers a request that the stories in Oprah's book selection instruct political, religious, and family leaders (called Mom and Dad) that we must take steps to treat all human beings with the compassion and respect that is appropriate for all of God's creations. It's time we created a safe environment for everyone, including those who have joined the Marines to build homeland security ¿ in every homeland on earth.

read'n4fun

Oct 22, 2009 4:27 PM

  |   in response to: carolkenny

Thank you for your prayers,carolkenny! I agree with your statements, especially where you say "but I feel certain that no true religion is an advocate for cruelty and violence. Religious leaders throughout the world need to focus on educating their followers regarding the essence of their faith, outlawing acts of violence and not allowing religion to be used as an excuse for attacks on other human beings."

What has happened is that some with great power are using religion in a misguided way, IMHO. A frightening way. They are using it as a weapon. When a society reaches this level in their thinking, what can others do to stop them? That is the question that keeps running through my mind.

jobitek

Nov 3, 2009 6:26 PM

  |   in response to: arkbear471

Real Africa, for me, is the exact reference to "anything of value" at the end of your paragraph -- it is home for me -- the continent that contains the place where everything about me originates from. It is the place I can always go home to. Real Africa has nothing to do with the scenery, the Safaris, the animals, the poverty, the violence, the diamonds, the rape or more of the vile that is continously sold in the international media. It is what makes Akpan's stories so real. It is a place that pulses with life, ingenuity, eternal hope, laughter among the rags, and stories that will never let you leave. I have lived in North America for almost twenty years but will always, always believe that the God who provides our best bet, also gave me this gift of being African from a real Africa.

bookmarkme

In the beginning, I believe "God" (some have other names) created the diversity of different humans to promote tolerance and to create interest, hoping all people's would appreciate the differences and enjoy them. Having seen through the millenia that people did not interpret His enjoyment of differences the way He had hoped, interracial unions began, and I believe He had a hand in it. Saddened by human nature as it was, maybe slowly eliminating "races" from our vocabulary and replacing it with "human race" would people begin to see each other as "people" not races, hence, interracial unions begetting children of the human race (eventually). Now if He could work on eliminating the word "religion" and replace it with "faith" maybe the world will become what He had hoped...