read'n4fun

Hi Jill. I, too, have been affected by these stories in this way. In response to an Ex-mas Feast, I posted; " I want to compare my feelings about this story and I hope I convey this right. When I finished reading, I felt the same feelings as when in a bad dream, something awful is happening, I'm shouting out, and nobody is listening."

I believe that this sensation of helplessness is due to certain circumstances. In these types of dreams that we have, we are threatened by the sense of "lost trust." That is to say, we are yelling to people for help, they seem not to hear, or even seem to ignore. That (their lack of attention to our needs) is the real nightmare. I think what is happening as we read this book is, we see these children in ourselves, in these dreams we have had. THEY are pleading, yelling and shouting for help. We know this has been going on for decades, and they have not received the attention from us that they deserve. This realization brings on the same feeling of "the helpless dream" that we are familiar with. In short, Uwem Akpan has provided a way by which we can identify with these children.

The basics that they should be able to depend on are not there for them. Even more frightening, the people who can help, are not helping, and this will continue to be the real nightmare, unless we make a change.

lauren28t

I felt empty. I think Fofo tried to do the right thing at the end, but it was too late and cost him his life. The brother was only following his instinct of survival when he ran. The entire chapter saddened me, especially when the sister thought the brother was "one of them". Very moving.

trhjamaica

I call myself a fast reader. However, "Fattening for Gabon" took me quite some time to read. I had a hard time wrapping my mind around Fofo Kpee's intent to sell his own beloved niece and nephew. I saw so many parallels with the enslavement of Africans so many centuries ago. The deceit and the "investment protection" seemed to be the same.

I was reminded of the time I learned that Africans helped capture other Africans to be sold into slavery for work in America. Because of the close ties I observed among Africans that are not even related was so rooted in a family connection, it was hard for me to imagine how greed had overcome connection. And greed is what took hold of Fofo Kpee. Even though he changed his mind about the whole deal, it was too late.

I think Kotchikpa had to leave his sister behind because there was no guarantee that they would even be together anyway. He may have even come into that knowing during those crucial seconds just before his escape which is what pushed him to continue with his escape once he realized his sister was not coming with him. His survival mode kicked in high gear and he was determined to get away no matter what.

I had to add on to the end of this story where Kotchikpa came back with help to save his sister in the nick of time. What can I say? I'm a sucker for happy endings. Unfortunately, I know today's real-life child enslavement is not rooted in happy endings.

producerji

Oct 3, 2009 9:49 AM

  |   in response to: read'n4fun

I so agree! We felt that after reading this book, readers might feel the need to try and do something, anything, to help. That's why we added a new page to our book club section, "How You Can Make a Difference in the Lives of Woman and Children." There's a list of organizations to check out that offer a variety of ways to help those in need in many parts of the world.

producerji

Oct 3, 2009 10:12 AM

  |   in response to: lauren28t

I felt sad, almost destroyed, at the end of this particular story -- but now after reflecting on the story I also feel healed. I think of the times in my own life when my "survival instinct" kicked in and I thought I acted selfishly, but after reading this story I've found a way to release all that "survivor guilt." I think the brother did the right thing by running-- we have to save ourselves, or we won't be around to save anyone else in the future. Sometimes the most selfless thing we do can do is to save ourselves first. It's a little like when the flight attendant on the airlines tells the parents to put on the oxygen mask first before they put it on the child. It's not perhaps a parent's first instinct to protect themselves before helping his or her child, but if that parent doesn't and passes out immediately, two lives are in jeopardy. I hope as you read you'll be able to move away from the pain and find some healing, but it took me a while to get there. Thanks for your comments and I hope you keep reading!

producerji

Oct 3, 2009 10:19 AM

  |   in response to: trhjamaica

I like your happy ending -- and they can exist in real life! And for anyone who is interested in doing what they can to help, Check out our new "How You Can Make a Difference" page in this book club section.

producerji

Thank you for reading my blog. Harpo Studios does not take unsolicited pitches, but I wish you the best of luck with your idea!

read'n4fun

Oct 4, 2009 9:08 AM

  |   in response to: producerji

Jill, I was so impressed with this new page. It really made a difference in the way I viewed my ability to help. To see how much our dollars can provide really made an impression on me. This information helps to see the impact of our efforts, and also lets us know that, whatever it is we can do, it is of a tangible value, it will make a difference!

read'n4fun

Oct 4, 2009 9:13 AM

  |   in response to: producerji

Another powerful connection in this story, another way to identify with these characters, Jill! It is my hope that, as Kotchikpa goes through life, he will be able to recognize that he was just a child when going through this horrific time. An adult would find it impossible to reconcile with the choice made. Was it even a choice? I guess not. Reaction is a much better choice. Reaction to trauma.

globalgram

Oct 4, 2009 12:05 PM

  |   in response to: read'n4fun

Nightmare. Destroyed. That is exactly how I feel, Jill, after finishing both Xmas Feast and Fattening for Gabon in one go.

But that is the emotional truth of the life being lived for so many in Africa. The world's indifference to that is astounding.

I devoured these 1st 2 stories. But I cannot pick the book up again just yet. It is too raw, TOO true. I need more time to absorb and integrate the many dimensions of the revelation and emotional reaction that these stories evoke before finding the courage to take on another one.

I applaud Oprah for asking so much of us, her audience, as to take on this book. This is hard, hard, brutal stuff. But it is also long overdue to take a seat in our consciousness and to be given its place in our public dialogue.

globalgram

Another point: Apkam's writing is brilliant. The 1st sentence of Fattening for Gabon, "Selling your children or nephew could be more difficult than selling other kids," heightens the gripping intensity of dread and the levels of insight in reading every other word of its hundred or so pages to an almost unbearable level -- and with an astounding economy of wording!

read'n4fun

Oct 4, 2009 7:00 PM

  |   in response to: globalgram

Globalgram, what you say about Akpan's first line in this story is so true. In addition, the reader get's a glimpse of what is to come. The children did not have that glimpse. I think this first line made the story all the more terrifying.

globalgram

***Potential SPOILER***
In response to Jill's question, "Did Kotchikpa, the brother, make the right decision to flee leaving his younger sister behind? Should he have stayed so his sister did not have to face such a terrible future alone?"

I don't think there is a right or wrong decision here. Pure survival instinct kicked in. And given the 5 yr old's stubborn, rebellious streak and his inability to control her or gain her trust in critical survival situations, something deep in his subconsciousness probably recognized that and knew that to survive himself, he had to flee without her. Nonetheless, he would be haunted by leaving her for the rest of his life.

As to what his little sister would have to face alone because he left her, given that they were being sold into slavery, the possibility of them ending up together for any length of time was extremely remote if it existed at all. She would have been facing her fate alone regardless. The only thing that could have saved her from that fate were capabilities that she didn't have -- like sensing danger in critical situations and following his lead. She was just too young.

I find myself assuming, though, as I read stories like these and real life events like those that happen every day in DR Congo, that living is infinitely worse than dying. The child killed in an attack because he refuses to eat his mother's amputated flesh is better off than the one who does what he is told, then lives to be carried off to be a sex slave, or worse, a child soldier who will kill, rape and mutilate other mothers and children.

Am I wrong? What if, by living, some future child of such a child, might one day become a leader true to his/her people, one who ushered in a new kind of future for their country and the world? I don't know. But I find myself preferring, for myself, to die. Just get it over with rather than face the living nightmare day after day after day, and become a monster myself in order to survive.

carolkenny

Dear Jill,I, too, felt that I was trapped in a nightmare as I read this story. I could do nothing to save these children, but I admire Kotchikpa for saving himself. He wanted his sister to come with him, but staying behind would only have trapped them both. As in the Ex-Mas Feast story, my dreams carried past the painful line that ended this story. I saw little 10-year-old Kotchikpa, in his new life, and I felt that rather than follow the cycle of abuse in which he was raised, he might use his freedom to seek an education and someday travel to Gabon and free his sister from bondage. After watching the story of Tererai, I truly believe that there is hope for the people suffering in Africa now. Hope is on the way, and Oprah, as always, is leading the charge.

lisatmp

Thanks so much for covering this. FYI your emailbox is full!

jpflion

I must admit it took me awhile to recover from An Ex-mas Feast, and to return to Say You're One of Them. Having lived in Kenya, and being painfully aware of the conditions in the slum areas, it was difficult to revisit it. Fattening for Gabon was every bit as devastating, if not more so; but it also presented positive aspects -- such as the decency and kindness inherent in so many of the Africans I encountered, as exemplified in Kotchikpa's character (as well as his uncle's, when he came to his senses).

The last sentence of F for G was extremely powerful and heart wrenching, made even more so by the mastery with which Mr. Akpan led up to it. K's action/reaction was again an example of survival. He tried to save his little sister, but her age and personality worked against her. He could have escaped without even waking her. That he didn't want to leave without her was another display of his caring nature. It was an unconscious Sophie's Choice situation. If Yewa had escaped with him, it's doubtful they would have gotten far.

All good stories lend themselves to imagined lives beyond the pages. For K, I would hope that he lived to bring awareness, and change, to the horrendous practice of child enslavement.

smargaritha

This second story was harder to read then Ex-Mas feast.
We joined that first family in their "current" situation and were looking at how they delt with it.

These two children we see page by page how their dark future is being sealed. The most painful moment for me was when the boy at such a young age was actually thinking of committing suicide when faced with the reality of what would happen with them.

Very sad story.

tanisha8

Oct 12, 2009 10:11 PM

  |   in response to: producerji

Jill - Reading "Say You're One of Them" has prompted me to do my part. I will definitely check out the "How You Can Make a Difference" page. These stories have left me with a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I cannot explain. I cannot get the characters out of my mind. I've purchased the book for family members and prepared them for shipping. I can't wait to share this book with others!

educatesha

A great read about helping others in need is a Christmas story titled: The Santa Train Tradition. A story of great humanity! It is an adult - children's book(if you will). The illustrations are beautiful. It can be found at Word of Mouth Press ( wordofmouthpress.us ).

jobitek

Oct 30, 2009 11:40 PM

  |   in response to: educatesha

Reading F for G was an experience that took me back to my childhood memories of encountering Hansel and Gretel in the woods and then Charles Dicken's David Copperfield. Akpan situates his stories in contemporary Africa which makes it, for me, an African whose lived in Kibera, Nairobi among other places, witnessed and witnessing, and for the first time in a long long time, finally heard. An Exmas Feast was aurally delightful, even if the story was familiar and terrible. Akapn has a definite good ear for kisheng, the local pidgin made of English and Swahili. I could hear this story more than I could see it because the whole time, I never remembered the smell of the flowing sewage, paraffin smoke and petrol. F for G was another thing all together. I was devastated. I was so disturbed that I put the book down and it's still lost in the house somewhere. If Kotchikpa did not escape and leave his sister, we wouldn't have known this story now, would we? The devastation for me lies in the implicit role of the reader devouring the story and discovering that it wholly depended on the Yewa being left behind. Now that's a story teller. For all those who thought that African literature was a vacuum -- well then, listen up!