It has been just 5 days into my exercise regimen , and now it seems harder to stick to my schedule, especially on weekends. Still so many days are tehre to exercise and I have started losing patience. At this point , I need motivation more than any other thing.I need to remind myself My needs and my reasons for losing weight or for acquiring a fit and healthy body. I am feeling little bit impatient , but I think I wil overcome this also . ANd If I am able to sustain myself through this period , Iwill be able to complete this journey . I know this. I need all the best motivators right now.

HEart 214 , if you are reading this post, please send me some good lines.I need them.

I also have realised teh difference in my body.Earlier I used to eat anything 'rich', i used to feel heavy, very heavy.You can imagine how heavy had I felt after 'stuffing myself with so called 'rich ' food.But i never used to feel this heaviness in body during this stuffing period past the uncomfortable point. But now I am noticing thsi change in myself.Whenever I try to eat 'rich ' food , I have started recognising this feeling of heaviness even before it starts. I sense it very well that now even if I eat one more morsel of food , I will feel heavy .So now Most of the times I am able to stop muself before any such point.

So now I think., that one's eating habits also depend on how much good tuning one has with one's body.

I found myself hooked to youtube so much,I do not why.BUt I like Yotube very much.Daily I create one playlist of my favorite songs and tehn exercise to their tune.It is fairly easy for me to skip my exercise on a daily basis, but it is impossible for me to miss listening my favorite songs.So It helps me in my exercise.Also I am able to do my exercises for a longer duration with these melodious songs.Youtube Rocks!!!!

Yesterday i was thinking about my weight loss.Then I realised that I always intended to lose weight, but without any serious or full effort on my part. I did things in half, not fully .Never felt that stretch in exercise or never went for that exhausted feeling in exercise. I always ate things correctly half day , or sometimes more than half day, then rst of the day I spent in sabotaging my efforts by eating fatty foods or sleeping too much. With such half-efforts , how would had I succeded in losing weight !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then I get disheartened by seing weight scale.I think it is true for most of us in all other areas of our life.We do everything half and expect full results, even in our prayers!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today my day was planned from the morning itself. I did evrything on time .So i did not have much time to think about food or eating. I di my exercise.I had a serving of calcium in the morning. If I get an oppottunity , i might go for a walk in the eveningalso. That would make me feel 'burn'.till now my daya is satisfactory.Let us see what happens in the rest of the day.

Writing after so many days is always so pleasant. Just moment before I wanted to write so much , now it seems all forgotten.I have started taking htis business of weight loss seriously, because I have realised that until and unless I take it seriously , it is not easy to lose weight.

Yesterday , we went to a store .There was that bp machine ,that thing also weighs you. I usually do not like to sit on such machines , but my husband made me weigh on that machine. taht machine showed my weight 10 lbs. more than my usual weight. After that I got so much depressed.I was almost teary , on the brink of breaking down.On top of that, my husband told me that that machine gives accurate weight. My heart sank and sank and sank!!!!!!!!!!!!!I could not sleep the whole night. In the morning , I was very pessimistic about my efforts. I had this thought running in my mind like a tape that I cannot lose weight , no matter what!!!, I was sad , I could feel the heaviness in my heart .But then I decided to weigh myself once more on m,y home scale , And I weighed myself on my own scale at home , it showed my ususl weight. Then I got a sense of relief .Then I did my exercises.I logged into oprah and I had private messages waiting for me. Somehow , God sensed my discomfort , and directed Heart214 and Jeanie to send me messages that made my day. Now i am feeling relaxed . But I still need to weep out so that that feeling of heaviness could vanish.But now i am absolutely okay, ready to go further on my journey with these angels of god.

Thank you everybody.

I was thinking about writing for so many days , but one thing or the other , I just could not find time to sit down and write. Yes, Kevinadams sensed me right, on that day I was sad , very sad.But now I am okay, absolutely fine , ready to progress on my journey. These setbacks keep coming, but we should not stop .Since I have changed my eating habits , I feel light even on a full stomach, no matter how much I eat. I think that the body really changes as we age.Now if I skip my exercises for a fortnight or more , I feel a not-known kind of lethargy in my body or in muscles.But if I keep exercising , my body reamins active. And also now if I eayt something so called "Rich" food, i feel heavy and lethargic the whole day. Ithink my body has started chenging due to age And I must accept these facts rather than keeping my eyes closed.

on this long journey I also realised that weight loss is not just about eating, portion control or exercise or calories, it is also about responsibility , a responsibility towards your body , your health , your involvement in family activities , and your involvement in life. this perspective can really change a whole lot about the way we think about weight loss. Now i have stopped thinking about weight loss in general , now before putting anything in my mouth , i think about rsponsibility about various aspects of my life , and it helps me in making right choices.

Yesterday night was a big transforming night for me, we were both trying ot lift each other, I could lift him up 3 times in a row , but he failed to lift me up even once, due to my weight.It was very embarrassing . So i promised my husband on the spot that he will be able to lift me up by the end of the year.

And I have started working on my promise . Today I woke up early , did my meditation, then I also did my exercise routine.Right now I am feeling good and looking forward to the day, I am also not concerned about what I put in my mouth.I know that if I have right attitude , i will be abale to achieve my goal, sooner or later, it does not amtter. I am content .

Today has been a relatively good day.Just now I ran to and from my mailbox. And i decided that if I could run without anyproblem, then I would immediately quit all the bad food items from my diet. And I successfully ran .I won. I am happy. And I did not lose my control over the food the way I did yesterday..I know I can do it and I have also done it before , but from past month , i am not able to stick to anything, an attitude of laziness just crept in , I do not know why or from where.

Yesterday just by one incident , i focussed more on negative than the positive. ONe major positive thing for yesterday was that I did not take a nap in the afternoon. This habit is bad and induces laziness. These things happen with everybody. And yesterday what happened was not so bad , once in a day such thinghs happen. But today my mind set is totally optimistic.I am looking forward to the day.

i am thinking that another way of staying away from temptations , which are sometimes in my case now, is to read all the blog posts one by one and living through them at that particular tempting moment.I think that it is a great idea.So now on I will follow this till Friday and then see what changes this thing bring inot me.

I am still not able to believe what I did just now, I ate three drumsticks one after another , and I did not enjoy any of them, i just gobbled.I am afeeling quite unbelievable that at this age I cannot control myself, and I behaved like a child . I ma ashamed and frustrated. I want to cry on my pity state right now, but I do not what to do .

But this is the last nail in the coffin. I am done with my lenient ways. I need discipline, I know that for rest of the day , I will be sober and nice , here sober means , eating tactfully , but this time things are going to change , i am not going to live for food anymore. Last month I was able to lose weight and also I was able to lower my body fat percentage. But just now I do not know what happened to me.

Relax , taht was just a phase .I messed up one thing does not mean that I need to mess up with the rest of the day. THIS IS MY REAL VICTORY, RAISING MYSELF UP AFTER I HAVE FALLEN DOWN, EVERYBODY FALLS , BUT MY REAL VICTORY IS TAHT I HAVE NOT LOST THE INSIGHT,I AM STIOLL DETERMINED TO GET UPAND START MY JOURNEY.

YES, THIS IS MY REAL VICTORY.

I was watching x-weighted on t.v.That lady was able to lose 31 pounds in 6 months .Also her fitness increased . A thought occurred in my mind that if she can do it, why cannot I !!!!!!What I need is patience and determination and ability to persist , no matter what!!!

Also I need to be fully honest in my efforts ,no cheating at all. What I do is -- after following a rule for 3 days or maximum for a week - I start cheating on one excuse or the other . I find excuses always ready. And my excuses are always convincing to me. So if I stop cheating , taht is , giving or finding excuses , and persist in my efforts , there is no reason that I cannot lose desired amount of weight.So should I star from today OR from right now.

I try to write my blog pretty regularly. This makes me feel accountable . I write only what i am doing these days or my thoughts , feelings related to it. In writing any blog post I feel free to ink my thoughts as they appear to me , they are a way towards catharsis.I am also free to jot down my failures, my triumphs , my achievements, my victories , these blog posts also become a kind of diary to me , so whenever I am out of beat , I refer to these blog posts accordingly and draw the required inspiration , a look into any pattern that is coming up, or for the knowledge of my previous actions , feelings , thougts in similar situations, Also when I am too pressed by cravings , I write blog post , it diverts my mind to something good and made me recall my aims and goals and how far I have come on the road. BLOGGING IS GREAT.

I do not know what has happened to me , no matter what I am not able to wake up early in the morning.I used to be a morning person , but now i am not able to wake up early , so I am not regular with my exercise routine, and meditation , I do not know how to tackle this , I f I start doing exercise late in the day , i am not able to do it fully and I leave it in between , because of hunger. So now I have to find some way to wake up early in the morrning, If somebody has some tips about waking up earrly in the morning, That would be great!!!

These days , I am eating well, I have also started maintaining my diary about all the good things that I do for my health and weight in a day, then when I read it , i feel motivated to be on track , to continue with what I am doing.