A man wrote to me and told me it seem I miss my exhusband but I know this is just not true for he has move on with his life, he even has a new baby in his life besides that woman. I just feel left out that I can not be with my children on their soon trip to Mexico. Some of you might say well take your own trip but I would not go to Mexico because I do not know anyone. I hate that I can not enjoy this trip with my children and that another woman will be there to enjoy it with them. It hurts that I Just can not be in that part of their life. People ask what will you do with out your children. I plan to scrub my aparment clean but after this I have no plans and I fear the boredom that will follow. My best friend tells me to go visit her but my money to take a trip is just not there this year. It will be the first summer in a long time that I will remain in town for the summer, the first summer without a boyfriend, and the first summer my kids will go away a whole month. So I maybe crying because I Just can not be in that part.