kim_eng's Blog

by kim_eng

Your Greatest Protection from the ego.....Q & A

Posted on Apr 18, 2008 3:56 AM

Hello Dear Friends,


Of the entire book, the "PAINBODY" is usually the most fascinating subject for most people. Why? Because we all have one, and we all want to get rid of it (at least those who are awakening). We mentioned, last week, the importance of becoming free from identification with our roles. It is as vitally important that we liberate ourselves from our bondage to the painbody, the old emotions accumulated from our individual and collective past.


When I lived unconsciously, the painbody was my greatest companion, an essential aspect of my sense of self. Because of my unconsciousness, I couldn't recognize my attachment to pain and suffering. It felt normal to be unhappy.


When I became aware that I had a painbody, I perceived it as my enemy for a while, as something I needed to get rid of, which made me feel a little schizophrenic.


As awareness grew, the painbody became my greatest teacher. There was no need to fight or resist it anymore. With enough awareness, comes peace. By allowing the painbody to be as it was in the space of who I am, insights and wisdom spontaneously emerged.


Eventually the painbody becomes transmuted, as Eckhart said last night, "the energy trapped inside the shell (body) becomes free..., the energy transforms into presence." How beautiful is that?


What happened to Mememe33 was fundamentally important. She became aware and accepted an emotional state, then out of that acceptance, a helpful thought emerged (the inner teacher), and the emotion dissolved (transmuted suffering into presence). Congratulations!


Mememe33 then asks, "...I assume that depression is an expression of the pain body and if so does taking antidepressants to mask the symptoms of depression keep you from dealing with your painbody and eventually being able to rid yourself of it?..."


Depression is one of the many faces of the painbody. Using drugs, prescribed or non-prescribed, may control the symptoms of depression, but it does not deal with the underlying cause, the undissolved painbody. The painbody has, as Eckhart says, two states, dormant and active. The only way to dissolve the painbody is during its active state. Does that require you to be drug free? Not necessarily. As you found out for yourself, you were able to dissolve the depression in the midst of having had the antidepressant drug in your system. The more you practice presence, which implies acceptance of the form that this moment is taking, the more confident you will feel in yourself in handling old negative emotions. Eventually, you will be lead to a deeper knowing within yourself that it is time to begin decreasing the antidepressant. However, do not attempt to decrease or stop using a prescription drug (or other addictive chemical drug) without consulting your doctor.


Penda68 says, "...you talked about the Dalai Lama's reaction to the Chinese (or really, lack thereof, since he holds no grievance). And I was surprised that you said "what a relief since I am of Chinese descent!" Would you talk about your reaction a little bit, because that would seem to be the ego feeling the relief, but I can't be sure...?"


The relief I felt was in not being held responsible for actions perpetrated by others who happen to be of the same race or nationality as myself. I don't identify with being Chinese, so I don't harbor any feelings of guilt about what the Chinese did in Tibet. But it is always unpleasant when there is a projection of collective blame. The absence of this in the Dalai Lama produced my feelings of relief. Hence my remark, which was also meant to convey a touch of humor.


Drm1983 says, "...I can see clearly that I am not this mind defined "I thought" but at the same time it isn't clear what my true identity is....I'm stuck in no-man's land between knowing what I'm not and not truly knowing what I am. Do you have any advice for going beyond this ‘stalemate'?"


This is wonderful, congratulations! You've realized a fundamental truth: the real you cannot be defined. There is no answer to the second part of your question, "knowing what my true identity is," because there are no words that can possibly describe who you really are. We can say consciousness, stillness, but even those words are only pointers. "The Tao that can be named is not the true Tao", says the ancient Chinese book of wisdom, the Tao Te Ching.


Perhaps your search is for something known, bliss, joy, peace? However, in that very "expectation for something" is the prevention of it from happening. Remember, expectation is mind generated. The real you, therefore the real joy, is beyond the mind. "The peace that passes all understanding," says in the Bible. Therefore, to go beyond the ‘stalemate,' eliminate expectations, even spiritual expectations, from your life and trust the unknown.


Traines writes, "...My question is about resistance. In physics (laws created by the source) force or resistance is the lever of creation. I appreciate your concept of non-resistance and it has changed my life in a matter of a few weeks but now that I have absorbed it, the question has risen to the surface that I cannot ignore. I must ‘resist' or create force, to create positive change..."


We are speaking of two different types of resistance, psychological and physical. The former is what we are concerned with in regards to spiritual growth. The latter is in reference to the law of physics. Probably every physical movement involves some kind of resistance, whereas non-resistance is a state of consciousness.


Christins1 asks, "...how can I ‘be the space' for another's negative talk? I feel like I have nothing to say to anyone anymore. Is this ‘normal'?" Cmbelleau1 also asks, "I work in customer service...I've been able to practice being transparent and not to let the complaining people around me get to me, but practically, what should I say to them?"


As we move beyond the conditioned mind, with its repetitive thinking, it is quite normal to feel that we have nothing to say anymore in certain social situations. But we can learn to become comfortable with "no thought" and feel the joy there is in stillness. Allow words to arise from stillness, rather than the conditioned mind.


Eckhart says, "Complaining is one of the ego's favorite strategies for strengthening itself. Every complaint is a little story the mind makes up that you completely believe in...Some egos that perhaps don't have much else to identify with easily survive on complaining alone." The same egoic structure operates for negative talk, whether it is aloud or only in thought. As Eckhart said last Monday, "the enjoyment of negativity is the painbody. Every painbody is the expression of the universal painbody." By not reacting to the complainer or the painbody, you often bring out the sanity in others. In other words, non-reaction has the power to draw out the unconditioned consciousness in others as opposed to the conditioned. As Eckhart puts it, "Your greatest protection is being conscious." From the unconditioned consciousness that is from stillness, right-action and right-words emerge.


Azmkim writes, "I have spent 8 years of my childhood in the war...yesterday, observing my thought pattern, on every single event in my life when I picture the worst possible scenario is about to happen,...for the first time there was space around the thought...My question is ‘Is it possible to change such an automatic thought pattern that has been created in childhood and acted for so long?'"


The first step towards change is awareness. Well done! You have taken the first and most important step. Change is now inevitable. Remember, it's important not to bring psychological time into this because long standing habits usually have their momentum, and therefore, take time to change. However, continue to shine the light of consciousness on such thought patterns and eventually the old simply melts away.


In closing, I would like to leave you with this quote by Eckhart, "Thinking is no more than a tiny aspect of the totality of consciousness, the totality of who you are."


Be well...be in peace,

Kim Eng

© 2008, Kim Eng

45 Comments
Comments

Thanks Kim, I am really struggling a bit with all this. I am really relating to the book, but in day to day practice it's very hard. When you first read it there is a feeling of relief and then putting it to work is another thing. Is it the ego fighting to keep my attention?

Eckhart makes it sound pretty easy. Not easy in that he was in terrible anxiety when it came to him, but that it happens in a moment. Also, as he writes so well and the book flows from idea to idea, I feel like it is really aing sense to me, but...

I think your comment about viewing the Painbody as "my teacher" will help me to find my way through this. Taking baby step....

Ann

Thank you Kim for sharing your insights. I have found that as I am more aware of the thoughts playing in my head, the less they become. Not judging the thoughts, just letting them flow by. In place of the thoughts, I have experienced a peace. Almost a stillness. As I interact with others, I found the ability to just be with them. I have noticed a decrease in the negative topics that they will talk with me. Our conversations are more on a positive vibration or there is no conversation. As I become more aware, I have notice that my body has been giving signals to rest more. I find I am taking naps and going to bed early. Is this common on a path of awareness?
Is anybody else experiencing this?

Ann, Just like you said at the end "taking baby step.." is such great advice for yourself. That is the whole key. Be compassionate with oneself. This work is not a sprint to the finish line. It is more like a journey. Enjoy the process. It sounds like you have already made the biggest leap of all - you have begun.
So be patient with yourself just as you would with a child learning how to ride a bike for the first time without training wheels.

Namaste,
NTMama

Kim,

Thank you for you insights and guidance. My question has to do with the pain body and it's connection with carrying extra body weight. I have struggled with my weight since I was 12 years old (I am now 61. I have always suspected that that "body armour" I carry around serves the purpose of insulating myself from external pain and discomfort. I now realize it is also, in some way, strengthening the pain body. If I could really "get" the connection between the pain body and understand how to release this armour, I suspect weight loss would come naturally. Where do I begin with this?
Do I just stop fighting and accept that this is what my body is and that the physical and emotional problems it causes is what is is and stop the struggle? What's the next step.

Blessings,

Kathy

Kim,
Thank you so much for answering my question about antidepressants and the pain body. Thank you for continuing to bless all of our lives with your blog.
Kathy, (larsson46) I definitely understand where you are coming from regarding excess weight and the pain body. For me I know that part of what I had been doing with food was punishing myself and pacifying myself at the same time for having negative thoughts, for having a pain body. Now I know that first of all, those negative thoughts are not who I am and second of all, having this pain body is part of the human condition. Therefore I don't have to personalize it or punish myself for it. I am not those thoughts. I am the I AM and I am of God. So I have been practicing non-resistance and excepting what is right now and I have been finding it easier to give my body the things that it needs, exercise, wholesome food, etc. When I feel myself craving due to stress or unpleasant emotions I have been practicing conscious breathing. Kathy, blessings on your journey and thanks again Kim and Eckhart.

meme33, Your comments are very helpful and I realize I try too hard to "understand", in my thinking self, rather than just excepting this is what it is and stop resisting. I am sure many others on this journey have helpful insights, too and invite you to share them with us. Kathy

I have a conflict going on with my pain body. I have been aware of it for almost a year now. It is speaking strongly about the events and people in my life who have fed and helped to create this painbody of mine. I have seen where it speaks out and I am learning to react differently with myself and with others. The problem I am having is with the anger I feel for having had the negative experiences in my life. Specifically for the abuse put upon my by my mother, for the things she never taught me, for the childhood I never had because I had to care for my brothers and never had a parent care for me. I am angry because my mother resented me and pretended she didn't, for the lies she told that made me struggle so many years to learn the difference between reality and abuse. For not being taught that there was more to life than just survival. I am angry and I am one who teaches others to not let anger run their lives. I help others become aware of what anger is doing to their lives when they never realized it was being seen. I am struggling, I understand, and I have been aware most of my life but I was hushed, repressed, shut down. I do not know how to let this anger go. I have been struggling my entire life to have life and come out of the struggle. The unfortunate reality of life on this earth is that it is obscenely expensive and gets worse daily. I do not know how to let all this go and find peace in the fact that my entire life has passed me by and it has been a waste and now I know how life should be but I cannot make it happen in this late stage of my life while I am still struggling in realization trying to not have all the anger. How is this possible? I have awareness everyday and I do my best to breathe and just be and find happiness in the being. When I live in a place that is filled with violence and negativity and have to struggle everyday to find the ways to pay basic living expenses I cannot let go of the anger that surges with the knowledge of what was, is and could be. How do you do this in the core of your being? does anyone understand what I am saying?

Thank you for such a beautiful blog, Kim. The posts in this section are more inline with what I seem to be experiencing, so I feel like this may be a good place to hear an answer for a question that eludes me from time to time: I will be in conversations and hear myself babble on and on. It's a discomfort. Later, I reflect and wish I had practiced listening again versus speaking incessantly and so unconsciously. It feels wonderful when I am present enough to have peaceful discussions, and I would sure love to make those more frequent. What helps you stay present during conversations? Is there anything in particular that you imagine or do?

Also, I definitely allow my painbody to get caught up in other pain bodies, and I often find my painbody mimicking theirs even though I may not necessarily feel the same! In an absurd effort to make the other person feel better (now realizing that all I am doing is feeding the painbody) - I complain with them. Thankfully, this has diminished a GREAT deal over the years... but it still happens more than I'd like. Especially with certain people (repetitively).

Thanks again for this space. I am loving it!
--Aloha.

Dear Kim, Thank you very much for answering my question. You are absolutely right. From the day I had the first experience of observing my automatic thought pattern so far it has become much easier and more frequent that I catch them. Every time I get a smile and rush of joy. A joy that is so new and fresh to me. It is like entering a different realm, a world of trust, light, joy, fearless and vibrant life. My sincere appreciation to you, and Eckhart. I still hold my childish dream of meeting him one day :)

i understand yes.. very much so.. however, there is one thing you ought to practice: acknowledging your thoughts (watch them), without fighting them, nor judging them..just watch...
2 days ago, after work, i decided to have a short nap. Then, memories (thoughts) came about so strong, that my body started to shake and it was as like i was there again, re-living everything...THEN.. i remembered! I remembered to stop and watch, just watch, be conscient and aware that i was bringing back to life an experience that was not true NOW... it happened and it is gone! I had great peace surrounding me and i fell asleep in peace, true peace..! Now listen to this, beautiful soul: when i woke up, believe it of not, i couldn't remember what thought came on to me to cause such an emotion... i is gone, for now anyways, and if it comes back, i know how to show it the door again. Don't resist cause remember: what you resist, persist! Now, the ball is in your camp, practice it as often as needed and feel the peace long awaited!
Micheline

Thank you for responding Kim :). What you said was exactly what I needed to hear. About 10 years ago when I was a child I was extremely afraid of going to sleep due to some unpleasant 'paranormal' experiences I was having regularly at night. One night I woke up and there was a glowing sphere of white light with an orange core in the air. I was in a completely different state of consciousness, my mind was absolutely still, I didn't even wonder what was going on or what this sphere of light was. I felt a deep sense of peace beyond words and this is hard to describe but "I" didn't end at the limits of my body. After having sat in my bed like this for a while I just laid down and went back to sleep. Not a single thought had transpired during this. I realize that I after having become aware of the concept of 'enlightenment' have projected expectations and concepts onto it based on the memory and mental conceptualization of the experience I had that night. I have another question ^^ - I regularly catch myself perceiving through the concepts I have generated from having read books such as Tolle's that teach about letting go of concepts and going beyond the mind. I realize that these concepts, even though they may be closer to truth than many others, also are conditioned mind defined ways of perceiving but still they regularly suck me into their relative reality. Do you have any advice for letting go of these concepts that have taught me about letting go of concepts? :)

Wow! At first I was not so sure I could find any thing as authentic as ET's emanation else where, but the more I read Kim's blog the more I found wisdom here. Kim 's experiences and guide are very "down to earth". Some thing I could relate to. As I reading this blog, something is healing inside me. Thanks Kim and thank all of your bloggers' great questions and comments. I hope to read more of your BEING.

I feel your anger and resentment. I, too, was like you. Angry for what was handed me. I deserved much more out of life.
I going to share with you what has helped me to be at peace. All I know is that angry emotions comes up very fast inside and before one can realize it,the ego is feeding the emotion with memories of the past.I still have episodes or fare-ups of my angry painbody however I have realized that sometimes I can bring presences into the emotion while I am still feeling the negative energy in my stomach area, and other times, I catch it after or while I am out of control with the painbody. Which ever it is, I am kind to myself. No harsh judgement or guilt for the reaction. It is okay to feel the pain, we are human. The story that the EGO is telling does not exist anymore. The past serves no purpose and has no power over the present. It was but no longer is. It is only a "STORY" regardless of the pain that it has caused.

One day, I just got fed up talking about "my" story. It was as if I had removed "myself" from the story that I kept alive in my mind. It was as if a part of "me" was now sitting in a theater watching a story being played on the movie by someone with the same name as me.

I believe it was in the 4th chapter that I understood what it was to become friends with the EGO. The very thing that I hated was the EGO. It chattered non-stop. It tormented me. It was so draining. I was mad because life was passing me by and I felt stuck in the past or in a future event. A deeper part of "me" was screaming inside," I want to live." I realize now that if it wasn't for the EGO I wouldn't have awakened; so it served it's purpose. I am grateful.

I am grateful for my painbody, for my EGO and for all the unconscience and conscience people that I have met and will continue to meet on this earth.I see the people on my earthly journey as actors merely playing their part so that "Presence" can shine through us. The stage is the space where it all happens.

My purpose in life is simply "To BE".

Thank you Mr. Tolle and Kim for your "Prescence".

I like your blogs thank you
But im disappointed in your neutral comment about anti depressants.. and i wonder why NO spiritual teacher will ever
admit they dont work. ITs so taboo its like telling a 5 year old there is no santa claus. Its like an unwritten law dont step on the toes of psychiatry. Tom Cruz spoke out against anti depressants and Kristie Alley against ritalin Are they the only people brave enough to tell the truth in public??
And they were critized
Im not a Scientologist but to really be educated the book Pyschiatry Ultimate Betrayal is eye opening.. and i wish more people would notice the addictions people get into with anti depressants.. and other pscyh drugs. I still have depression and was recommended drugs but i passed on it.
I just think they are so common and so accepted.. its almost as if.. those of us not on them are a minority. rh

I just have a question here. When I made a reply to someone's post a message came up that said "You are not authorized to make a comment" I don't understand, was it something I said??:) I thought my post was "thought" ful, without too much ego, was this just a technical problem or are comments being censored, dropped. Thanks

Hello Kim,
I wanted to just also say THANK YOU for your blog posts. I look forward to them every week after the online class with Oprah and Eckhart. I am becoming more and more awakened every day and enjoy the peace and stillness that exists within.
Smtan04

Hi, hollyst3. Only members who're logged in are authorized to post at most message centers, if not all. After logging in, if a member is "inactive" for a certain amount of time (websites vary on time), his or her posts will be disallowed until logging in again. That's happened to me here, and at other sites, and may have been what happened to your post, i.e., it's not personal. : ) So, I'll TRY to send this message and hope I didn't take too long typing it to go through. : ) A.

Thank you for your comments. I particularly enjoy the timing - a few days after the Monday event. As I am discussing with other friends, your comments often help us. The comment you had about "expectations" was as if you were in the room with us - very meaningful. Wonderful.

Hi, Kim. Thank you for taking the time to answer our questions. In the past, I have had an anxiety disorder, which was obviously a physical reaction to the painbody. During therapy, my therapists helped me to resolve some of the conflicts within me. In doing so, I brought up some painful things to my mother about the past. I felt anxious about it afterwards, but in the long run I feel better about having let my views be known that I never had the courage to say before. I did make it clear to my mother that I just wanted to let my voice be heard, but that I hoped it could help our relationship to bloom. Now, I am wondering if living in the present and not letting the past be an issue is what Eckhart would have recommended, because that I kind of what I get from reading this book. Is it good to revisit the past to work things out, or should I have remained more present and not let the past catch up with me?

Thank you for your wonderful blog. Lets say you have a Dr.'s appointment & the Dr. will be sticking a needle into you. You know it will hurt & when he does it, it hurts either alot or a little. What can you do to minimize the pain? How do you cope with the pain in that moment? I had that happen to me recently & tried to stay in the moment & tried not to resist the pain. Lets just say that my blood pressure was higher, so even though I tried to stay present, the higher blood pressure showed that I had to be nervous & not staying present before getting the needle.

Thank you, Kim, for your insight. I agree with you that now I began to see pain body/ego (mine and other people's) as a teacher or an opportunity to become present. It is just like what Oprah said, that every moment become a sacred moment. I now look at my job as my spiritual practice & my opportunity to move closer towards enlightenment.

Thank you so much delisiosa for clarifying what happens when a post doesn't go through I had a little bit of an active pain body going on and guess I got a little paranoid. I will post something again sometime. I am so enjoying getting to "meet" people here in this space.

Dear Kim, God's energy (essence) is present in all manifestations...in every molecule, then what form of energy departs the dead (as Eckhart mentioned about his parents) and what is left in the dead body? This must be the One. Cann't be anything else. And the only explenation for this paradox I can give is that this whole world is just a beautiful illission. Is this how Exchart experiences the world as well? Everything gets more and more fleeting first the Past and now even the forms in the Now. They get less and less solide and I can feel the consiousness in which they appair. I've listened to many of Eckharts cd's. And I never heard him say "the manifestated world is an illussion". If this is the last step he wants us to find out for ourself, then not answering this question is an answer in it self. Warm hug and thank you for your light. Lambiek

You're most welcome, hollyst3! Yep the PB (what I decided to call my pain body, as a way to lighten the energy around it) can set feelers in motion anywhere, anytime, so we get chances to practice what we're learning in ANE. : ) More about posting---after losing messages because my account had become inactive, without my knowledge, I started copying my posts, before sending. If I have to log back in, I open a new window, paste the message and send it. A.

Hello Kim,

I found out that you have offered spiritual counseling, $95 per private session! And you are all booked up! The benefit from spiritual liberation is immeasurable. It is out-weighted well beyond all material costs. One intertesting question came up to my mind. I just happened to think that there are a lot of people cannot afford this cost.

The fact that I am enjoying this blog for free makes me have no doubt about your compassion you have extended to all people whether they are rich or poor.

However, I am just curious, Kim, what is your view about, in our modern world and mainly in the Western society, it turns all of the spiritual services and guidance (what used to be a free service) into business? What used to be donation-based has become more and more charge-based.

In the Eastern society Zen teachers and monks only accept enough food supply for the day. Jesus overturned the money-changing table of the merchants in the front of the temple.

"Premium" spiritual services and interestingly, even medical services are accessible only to the privileged.

Your comments regarding eliminating expectations really struck a nerve with me, especially 'even spiritual ones'. I had to stop for a minute and think about that. Didn't realize I had them, but I most certainly do and this realization has been so helpful to me this week. Thank you for that. And thank you to all who post here. . .your comments and questions have been so very helpful to me also, especially those on dealing with the negativity around you. There's a family member who can be very negative and I definitely don't want to alienate or hurt her by doing or saying anything. I had an opportunity this last weekend to 'be the space' for some of her negativity, and it was ok. I was comfortable with the stillness, and she really didn't seem to notice at the time, although she did apologize later for being very negative about one issue. So, I thot that was a wonderful thing. Love your blogs. . .love the interaction here. Peace to all, Susan

P.S. to my above post about family member and negativity. This is really good for me too because she definitely pushes my buttons, so learning to be the space for this, is a real learning and growing experience for me. If I can be the space for this, I can be the space for other things as well.

Your comment triggered a memory for me. I remember my mother, in her bed as she was physically incapacitated from a stroke looking at me when I was standing at the end of her bed, "venting" about some past mother/daughter issue. It was ludicrous. She was beaming. She was so happy for me to be expressing myself so strongly. I feel so grateful to have been able to spend some of her last years together. I am also remembering now how I was crying from grief maybe a few weeks after her passing. I felt a surge of energy traveling out of my body through the top of my head. I remembered thinking maybe it was my mother's pain I had taken on.

Hi Kim,

Could you comment on the pain body. Can it actually do any real harm and how can I realize that I was never actually hurt by anyone's painbody?

Hi Kim, I have a question about PMS and the pain body. I have experience for years this great heaviness and negativiy that takes over a week before menstruation starts. I become very short temper and nervous, and during this time I breake things all the time. It made all the sense when Eckhart wrote about the supressed feminity and it being expressed as what we call PMS. I would like to know your observations, and how you deal with it. I also notice after having three small kids that the first months of pregnancy feel like a prolong PMS.

I am an atheist, and while I am enjoying this book and trying to put the practices into my everyday life, everytime I read the word "g-d", it rubs me the wrong way and turns me off of the message. Can one not become enlightened without mentioning g-d and believing in g-d? I am not religious but am spiritual. I believe in a universal life force, explained through nature, the physics of energy, evolution and good science but not in a man floating around in the sky with a bunch of rules to follow that if are not followed, one is punished and judged. Doesn't that go against the message of the book? I am sincerely confused, not trying to start a debate. This is a sincere question.

Your life cannot be a waste and neither can you. How anyone treats you is not you. The anger and the past is teaching you something now. Maybe a tough lesson. You can feel the anger and know that it's ok to feel it and then be aware of it and, with all of our prayers and understanding, move through it to the other side. You matter.

Thanks again for your wonderful insight, Kim. This book has certainly come to me at the 'right' time, as I struggle at this time with my husband moving out to 'find himself.' Reading your post about non-reaction and not having expectations, I feel this is true and exactly what I need to be able to offer my husband right now. But it is so hard when the hurt and the thoughts creep in and the painbody is triggered into reaction. In instances like this, is the only thing to do simply give it space, and try not to react to the pain being aroused? How can you stop the 'reacting' when it almost happens before you're even aware? Thanks so much for your guidance.

Hi, i would love to be able to to type something amazing and insightfull. i type these few words on the chance you might read them.i reackon you must be the feminine side of Eckharts Conscience as your blog is clear and simple and beautiful.

Nice 1
jimmy2222(Paul)

Kim, thanks for your insights and making this space! I would also like it if you could go into the female menstruating P.B. I get severe migraines that last around 8 days at that time. I have been out of work because I also get them at other times also. I can literally feel the energy shift around my body and then feel when it leaves. I try to stay present with it and be aware. My difficulty is in being aware of the pain, but not getting caught up in the pain or letting it get to me psychologically. I do pretty well the first few days, but after that the pain and the mind start getting in the way. I do energy work and have healed a lot over the past year, but still have a way to go to health. Any more insights into this beyond what Eckhart talked about would be helpful. Thank you and God bless.

Dear Kim, I don't understand the following two quotes by Eckhart, they seem to conflict with one another:(p180,ANE) "Every time you are present when the pain-body's negative emotional energy arises, some of the pain-body's negative emotional energy willl burn up..and become transmuted into Presence", and (p167 ANE) "I explained that I had just witnessed a major release in someone with a very dense pain-body and that what she felt must be some of the energy that was released during our session" Please could you explain this for me?
Namaste.

my question is about the pain-body and grieving. My mother died 3 years ago, just as I became a mom myself. I am still grieving the loss of her (form). I find when I'm trying to 'be' with the emotions of grief, thoughts try to slip in to compound the grief...sometimes its memories of her, sometimes it all the stuff she has missed (her grandkids) because of her death, the incredible suffering I went thru and all the drama around her death.....is grief also 'food' for the painbody? sustaining it? because most of the thoughts I have when I'm grieving her are negative. And when I do think of the good times we had, it's always over shadowed by the realization that shes GONE...which feels bad = negative.
Can you please speak to this? I've tried sending in this same question during the webcast, but it was never brought up.

thanks so much.....with love from BC (the best place on earth) ;)

Is the ego like the devil?

devil = evil = identification with form = ego

Hi,I understand all to well with what you speak of,and I have been there also. A similar story,I felt and carried sooo much pain and un forgiveness around with me.For the raw deal i felt life had given me,for a mother who didn't protect me,lied to me etc etc.The childhood i never had,well,not a happy one anyway!Repressed emotions,struggle after struggle.Anger,resentment.It all became "me". I only realized a short time ago,it was my story,how hard a life i have had...how i prided myself on coming out the other end not bitter and twisted,yet in reality i can now see just HOW bitter i was. I decided that it was taking too much energy to hate,to feel the anger/resentment over&over again.One day i thought,i cannot change what has happened,the past,and yet i was not willing to forgive,because i felt that would mean condoning the offending behavior.Until someone pointed out to me,forgiveness was not saying it was ok what "they" did to me.Forgiveness was about setting myself free,moving on.And so,through this spiritual counselor,I learned to forgive the part of these persons that was "God"(or whatever you may call it),and to set them free,and set myself free.She made it crystal clear we were not condoning they're behavior.Only doing it for ME,and it took a few tries,but i did move on,and now i say to myself,it was the past,but I have the future to look forward to,and i could keep being miserable,angry ,resentment etc,or i can free myself and make my future what i wish it to be,pain free.And in doing so,those who hurt me,have no power over me now,which to me was MORE liberating! It now feels good to have moved on,and to be stronger now,knowing NO-ONE has that hold over me.I myself make me happy,only me is responsible for how i feel or choose to live.Which leaves me no-one to blame now.I'm not saying it doesn't ever come to the surface again,of course it does,i just remind myself of all the reasons i made my peace with it.I do hope you can too find peace in your heart one day,and maybe it will help just to know that there people here who DO understand what your going through? Love,Light& Healing to you x

thank you for your comments. I have been struggling with how to forgive and release my childhood. Your comments have helped my so much. I am now going to begin to let it go and find my peace. I am so glad I read Eckhart's book
green sonja

Hello Kim,
My question has to do with you and your spiritual training. I have read your biography and when I saw that you went through "seven years of intense spiritual training", I found that I wanted to learn a little more about your training.

I am currently a life coach and as I continue to awaken, I have felt an inner sense arise in me that is directing me to also spiritually counsel others.

Any information you can share about your 7 years of spiritual training would be wonderful.
Peace and stillness to all!
Smtan04

Karcal1, you are in a very favorable situation to make spritual advancement in that you are not identified with any religion or belief. In another word, you are free from religious labels. This is a definite advantage to quiet your mental noise which leads to discovering who you truly are. ET said in the webcast "religion can be an open door or closed door to your true essence". I believe affirmatively that any images of god, angels, or "flying" human is only part of that ONENESS of conciousness expressed in forms, whether they are palpable or just existing in thought form. In physic, enery transforms to material body, and material body transforms back to energy. Consciousness is a form of pure positive energy, so called. The cause and effect between the unmanifest (your inner) and the manifest (your outer)is ultimately yours to make and to receive back. So ultimately, you are the one to punish yourself or reward yourself. No one causes it, but yourself. Outer world is just an outer effect of your inner cause.

In Zen history, many individuals became enlighttened who were both followers and not followers of Buhdda(or G...d!). I certainly think that your stand is not at odd with ET's teaching in his book at all. Why? Because whether you call "That" God or not, all of us have to to to "that" space or consciousness or divine source or universal energy... in order to be WHOLE. The most important thing is to BE there by your diligence in meditative training; and all of the sudden, you are awakened with "higher intelligence" beyond the mind. Then, everything will become clear, and all of the issues, paradox will be resolved.

Just want to edit my typo: It should read:"... all of us have to go to "that" space or consciousness..."

Peace to you.

Thank you for taking time to add your comments to the Monday night's teaching.
I think I have a handle on the painbody as it relates to the larger issues for myself......but as I read your teachings, it dawned on me that there are smaller, shame based feelings that make up my painbody as well.
I am referring specifically to unkind remarks made by siblings or others that have left their little scars...or incidents of misunderstanding that I had internalized in negative ways and that robbed me of my joy.
How freeing finally to recognize that that too is part of the painbody and now to have a means of dissolving the 'small things' that can so undermine my peace and confidence.

Again thank you so much....Letting the light shine in....

Sharenow, thank you for your thoughtful response. You have succinctly addressed my confusion and brought new perspective to the way I will now be approaching the book. Thank you highlighting the point that ultimately I am the one to punish myself or reward myself, as that is how I feel. I was missing the obvious because I was getting so wrapped up in labels, i.e. religion and g-d. I will begin to read the book with new eyes tonight, in fact I think I will start from the beginning.

Thank you again for your patience and understanding and for taking the time to frame my question so eloquently.

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