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Hello Dear Friends,
Of the entire book, the "PAINBODY" is usually the most fascinating subject for most people. Why? Because we all have one, and we all want to get rid of it (at least those who are awakening). We mentioned, last week, the importance of becoming free from identification with our roles. It is as vitally important that we liberate ourselves from our bondage to the painbody, the old emotions accumulated from our individual and collective past.
When I lived unconsciously, the painbody was my greatest companion, an essential aspect of my sense of self. Because of my unconsciousness, I couldn't recognize my attachment to pain and suffering. It felt normal to be unhappy.
When I became aware that I had a painbody, I perceived it as my enemy for a while, as something I needed to get rid of, which made me feel a little schizophrenic.
As awareness grew, the painbody became my greatest teacher. There was no need to fight or resist it anymore. With enough awareness, comes peace. By allowing the painbody to be as it was in the space of who I am, insights and wisdom spontaneously emerged.
Eventually the painbody becomes transmuted, as Eckhart said last night, "the energy trapped inside the shell (body) becomes free..., the energy transforms into presence." How beautiful is that?
What happened to Mememe33 was fundamentally important. She became aware and accepted an emotional state, then out of that acceptance, a helpful thought emerged (the inner teacher), and the emotion dissolved (transmuted suffering into presence). Congratulations!
Mememe33 then asks, "...I assume that depression is an expression of the pain body and if so does taking antidepressants to mask the symptoms of depression keep you from dealing with your painbody and eventually being able to rid yourself of it?..."
Depression is one of the many faces of the painbody. Using drugs, prescribed or non-prescribed, may control the symptoms of depression, but it does not deal with the underlying cause, the undissolved painbody. The painbody has, as Eckhart says, two states, dormant and active. The only way to dissolve the painbody is during its active state. Does that require you to be drug free? Not necessarily. As you found out for yourself, you were able to dissolve the depression in the midst of having had the antidepressant drug in your system. The more you practice presence, which implies acceptance of the form that this moment is taking, the more confident you will feel in yourself in handling old negative emotions. Eventually, you will be lead to a deeper knowing within yourself that it is time to begin decreasing the antidepressant. However, do not attempt to decrease or stop using a prescription drug (or other addictive chemical drug) without consulting your doctor.
Penda68 says, "...you talked about the Dalai Lama's reaction to the Chinese (or really, lack thereof, since he holds no grievance). And I was surprised that you said "what a relief since I am of Chinese descent!" Would you talk about your reaction a little bit, because that would seem to be the ego feeling the relief, but I can't be sure...?"
The relief I felt was in not being held responsible for actions perpetrated by others who happen to be of the same race or nationality as myself. I don't identify with being Chinese, so I don't harbor any feelings of guilt about what the Chinese did in Tibet. But it is always unpleasant when there is a projection of collective blame. The absence of this in the Dalai Lama produced my feelings of relief. Hence my remark, which was also meant to convey a touch of humor.
Drm1983 says, "...I can see clearly that I am not this mind defined "I thought" but at the same time it isn't clear what my true identity is....I'm stuck in no-man's land between knowing what I'm not and not truly knowing what I am. Do you have any advice for going beyond this ‘stalemate'?"
This is wonderful, congratulations! You've realized a fundamental truth: the real you cannot be defined. There is no answer to the second part of your question, "knowing what my true identity is," because there are no words that can possibly describe who you really are. We can say consciousness, stillness, but even those words are only pointers. "The Tao that can be named is not the true Tao", says the ancient Chinese book of wisdom, the Tao Te Ching.
Perhaps your search is for something known, bliss, joy, peace? However, in that very "expectation for something" is the prevention of it from happening. Remember, expectation is mind generated. The real you, therefore the real joy, is beyond the mind. "The peace that passes all understanding," says in the Bible. Therefore, to go beyond the ‘stalemate,' eliminate expectations, even spiritual expectations, from your life and trust the unknown.
Traines writes, "...My question is about resistance. In physics (laws created by the source) force or resistance is the lever of creation. I appreciate your concept of non-resistance and it has changed my life in a matter of a few weeks but now that I have absorbed it, the question has risen to the surface that I cannot ignore. I must ‘resist' or create force, to create positive change..."
We are speaking of two different types of resistance, psychological and physical. The former is what we are concerned with in regards to spiritual growth. The latter is in reference to the law of physics. Probably every physical movement involves some kind of resistance, whereas non-resistance is a state of consciousness.
Christins1 asks, "...how can I ‘be the space' for another's negative talk? I feel like I have nothing to say to anyone anymore. Is this ‘normal'?" Cmbelleau1 also asks, "I work in customer service...I've been able to practice being transparent and not to let the complaining people around me get to me, but practically, what should I say to them?"
As we move beyond the conditioned mind, with its repetitive thinking, it is quite normal to feel that we have nothing to say anymore in certain social situations. But we can learn to become comfortable with "no thought" and feel the joy there is in stillness. Allow words to arise from stillness, rather than the conditioned mind.
Eckhart says, "Complaining is one of the ego's favorite strategies for strengthening itself. Every complaint is a little story the mind makes up that you completely believe in...Some egos that perhaps don't have much else to identify with easily survive on complaining alone." The same egoic structure operates for negative talk, whether it is aloud or only in thought. As Eckhart said last Monday, "the enjoyment of negativity is the painbody. Every painbody is the expression of the universal painbody." By not reacting to the complainer or the painbody, you often bring out the sanity in others. In other words, non-reaction has the power to draw out the unconditioned consciousness in others as opposed to the conditioned. As Eckhart puts it, "Your greatest protection is being conscious." From the unconditioned consciousness that is from stillness, right-action and right-words emerge.
Azmkim writes, "I have spent 8 years of my childhood in the war...yesterday, observing my thought pattern, on every single event in my life when I picture the worst possible scenario is about to happen,...for the first time there was space around the thought...My question is ‘Is it possible to change such an automatic thought pattern that has been created in childhood and acted for so long?'"
The first step towards change is awareness. Well done! You have taken the first and most important step. Change is now inevitable. Remember, it's important not to bring psychological time into this because long standing habits usually have their momentum, and therefore, take time to change. However, continue to shine the light of consciousness on such thought patterns and eventually the old simply melts away.
In closing, I would like to leave you with this quote by Eckhart, "Thinking is no more than a tiny aspect of the totality of consciousness, the totality of who you are."
Be well...be in peace,
Kim Eng
© 2008, Kim Eng
Thanks Kim, I am really struggling a bit with all this. I am really relating to the book, but in day to day practice it's very hard. When you first read it there is a feeling of relief and then putting it to work is another thing. Is it the ego fighting to keep my attention?
Eckhart makes it sound pretty easy. Not easy in that he was in terrible anxiety when it came to him, but that it happens in a moment. Also, as he writes so well and the book flows from idea to idea, I feel like it is really aing sense to me, but...
I think your comment about viewing the Painbody as "my teacher" will help me to find my way through this. Taking baby step....
Ann