The Oprah Winfrey Show
Harpo Films
For One More Day
The Great Debaters
O, The Oprah Magazine
O at Home
Oprah & Friends
Oprah's Angel Network
Oprah's Book Club
Hello Dear Friends,
Many of you are now going beyond a merely intellectual understanding of this teaching, and are realizing the meaning and reality of presence in your own experience. With the ending of chapter six and the beginning of chapter seven, we are entering into the space in which we are becoming free and are no longer identified with thoughts, emotions, painbody, ego. How do I know this? Because the first step has already been taken - that is the realization that you have a painbody and an ego.
It has taken many years for my painbody to dissolve. In fact, I still do not feel comfortable saying that my painbody has completely dissolved. Why? Because in my experience, the painbody can lay dormant for a long time, then suddenly become triggered through one of life's events (and there will always be challenging situations, illnesses, loss of home or job, deaths, unconscious people, etc.) and so we are once again tested. However, provided we have been practicing being present, I can assure you that in those moments when we are tested, after a long dormant period of the painbody, we find that we have gained enough awareness so that it is not able to take us over completely. In other words, there is now enough conscious presence in you to witness the painbody arise, without becoming identified with it, and watch it quickly dissolve.
Your only concern becomes, "Am I present in this moment?" By dropping any desires we have of dissolving the painbody "forever," we let go of time, past and future. That is to say, we become present and accept the form that this moment is taking; painbody, emotion, thought, or external situation. We stop trying to control our lives, our thoughts, our emotions, and our painbody. We become friendly with the present moment. By becoming friendly with the present moment, we accept what is, and in the acceptance of what is, a deeper perspective arises that enables us to perceive not only the form, (ego, painbody, external situation) but also the space in which the form arises. In other words, we are aware that we are aware. We are conscious.
Dtartist writes, "I have a conflict going on with my pain body...the anger I feel for having had the negative experiences in my life...for the abuse put upon me by my mother, for the things she never taught me, for the childhood I never had because I had to care for my brothers and never had a parent care for me...I am angry because my mother resented me and pretended she didn't...For not being taught that there was more to life than just survival..."
I don't know if you remember Eckhart saying in one of his seminar sessions, "no human being can act beyond their level of consciousness." Your mother acted according to the way in which her mind had become conditioned by her past. The things she did and the things she failed to do were an expression of her limitations as a human being. She was not spiritually awakened, and so she was unable to go beyond her limitations. When you recognize this, compassion arises and it becomes possible to forgive ("Forgive them for they know not what they do," to use the words of Jesus on the cross). It also becomes possible now to recognize your grievances as stories you have been telling yourself in your mind for many years. The stories are based on the illusion that your mother was conscious when in fact she was not. The emotional pain that you have been experiencing throughout your adult life concerning your childhood was in fact not created by what happened in your childhood, but by the thoughts that your mind produced about it. I believe it is possible for you now to step beyond all those stories, access the power of the present moment and accept the form that this moment takes without judgment and criticism.
Another one of your thoughts that keeps you stuck in negativity and dysfunction is this, "The unfortunate reality of life on this earth is that it is obscenely expensive and gets worse daily." Another sad story. The ego strengthens itself continuously through its negative judgments about life while the painbody feeds on all those thoughts. They are not the truth. What is the truth then? This moment is as it is. In the words of Eckhart, "I can make the Now into my friend or my enemy." Your mother was not conscious enough to choose, but you are. What's your choice?
By believing in the story and emotions, in other words, through your attachment to the story and emotions, the ego develops a "victim" role which then begins clouding your perception of the world, of others and yourself.
I recall a time in my awakening process, as much as I wanted awakening, I also wanted the pain. I clearly saw that there was a part of me that enjoyed feeling pain. As soon as I recognized that, of course the painbody began to dissolve.
Life has not passed you by and your suffering has not been in vain. Why not? Because it has brought you to this point where you are beginning to awaken. With this comes gratitude for the present moment. As you let go of negativity, you will soon begin to experience positive changes in your life situation.
Honeyluu asks, "What helps you stay present during conversations?"
Practice keeping some attention inward rather than giving all your attention to the world of form. In other words, feel your inner body, your breath, or the stillness within, while listening to others speak. This takes the focus away from your thoughts, judgments, labels, opinions, ideas, etc. You cannot truly listen if you are thinking. To truly listen requires still alert presence. That is to say, you become the space for what is arising. That space is unconditional love. In this love, true communication arises (which is listening with no thoughts and allowing the words to come from the space of still alert presence).
Halp337 writes, "I like your blogs, thank you. But I'm disappointed in your neutral comment about anti depressants..."
I do not advocate the use of anti-depressants or any other drugs. In fact, I believe that anti-depressants don't work in dissolving depression. In my blog last week, I had mentioned, "Using drugs, prescribed or non-prescribed, may ‘control the symptoms' of depression, but it does not deal with the underlying cause, the undissolved painbody." My answer was related directly to Mememe33's situation. She/he is currently on anti-depressants, experienced a painbody attack and dissolved it through simply becoming the aware presence. All this took place while on medication. Should she/he now immediately stop using anti-depressants? As you may know, an anti-depressant is an addictive substance and should not be withdrawn from the body abruptly. The stopping of such medication usually requires professional assistance which I recommended.
When you say, "...I wonder why NO spiritual teacher will ever admit they (anti-depressants) don't work..."
I cannot speak for other spiritual teachers, except Eckhart's last webinar session when Oprah asked him, "Does medication get in the way of using the painbody as fuel for enlightenment?" In which Eckhart replied, "To a large extent it does. There may be extreme cases when medication is necessary, and for people who are already on medication, it's certainly not advisable to go off without advice of a doctor..."
You were right in saying, "...I just think they (anti-depressants) are so common and so accepted...it's almost as if...those of us not on them are a minority." Eckhart said, "...not giving in to this culturally conditioned behavior that says whenever you feel discomfort inside yourself...immediately seek some external help in the form of a substance..." For decades, we have accepted the belief that prescription medication is a means of fixing our ailments, physical or psychological. This was our conditioning, and for many people, it still is. Does this mean we should fault them because of their unconsciousness? Any judgments, criticisms, opinions, ideas you have are thoughts. And those kinds of thoughts prevent us from understanding an individual's unique set of circumstances. Compassion arises when we let go of judgments. Every person while in the grip of the painbody has their own tolerance level to that pain. Some people, like yourself, "I still have depression and was recommended drugs, but I passed on it..." have enough awareness to accept such emotional pain, thus avoid taking medication, while others don't have that awareness yet and so do what they have been conditioned to do: take medication.
Sharenow writes, "...I found out that you have offered spiritual counseling, $95 per private session! And you are all booked up! The benefit from spiritual liberation is immeasurable. It is out-weighted well beyond all material costs.....what is your view about, in our modern world and mainly in the Western society, it turns all of the spiritual services and guidance (what used to be a free service) into business? What used to be donation-based has become more and more charge-based..."
I appreciate your concern here. The cost for some people may be unaffordable. I would not refuse any person for spiritual counseling, talks or teaching intensives because of money (this is limited to space availability). Also, a number of partial scholarships is usually available.
Perhaps, one day, money will no longer exist as a way of living and we won't need spiritual talks anymore because we will live and breathe the One Life, the Truth that "makes us free."
However, until that day comes, spiritual counselors, teachers, pastors, churches, offices, etc. need to pay their bills (rent, phone, hydro, insurance, staff, etc.). In the past, and still to a certain degree in some cultures, spiritual services and guidance are based on donations. In fact, the practice of paying tithes is very ancient. It goes as far back as Genesis in the Bible. As well, as you mentioned, "Eastern society Zen teachers and monks," spiritual temples and monasteries, are usually supported through donations by their members. In both western and eastern spiritual teachings it was customary that individuals and families would support their churches, temples, clergymen, monks, etc. through "tithing" ten percent of their gross yearly income. However, today, most temples and churches have a significant decline in members as well as income from tithing. With the higher costs in living, the average family is not able to tithe ten percent or perhaps even a lesser percentage of their income. As well, nowadays, many people are no longer members of one particular affiliation and may have more than one spiritual teacher. In those cases, tithing is not the most appropriate form of giving. Also many contemporary spiritual teachers are independent and have no source of income other than what they charge.
Both Cielo1 and Ammachi12 would like to know, beyond what Eckhart writes about, my view and observations of how to deal with the female menstruating painbody. Cielo1 says, "...I have experienced for years this great heaviness and negativity that takes over a week before menstruation starts..." and Ammachi12 said, "My difficulty is in being aware of the pain, but not getting caught up in the pain or letting it get to me psychologically..."
It's been several years since I have had any menses. However, having gone through menses, pregnancy and menopause, the changes that take place during this time happen on three levels: physical, emotional and spiritual. Chemical changes inside the body occur, which cause physical symptoms to arise such as bloating, cramping, nausea, migraines, hot flashes, etc. Chemical reactions also take place in the brain which then affects our thinking (usually negativity arises). Our emotions, of course, are directly connected to the body and mind, as well as the collective female painbody. Therefore, irritability, anger, etc. arise. What is difficult to remember while the changes in the body and mind are happening is that it is nothing personal.
The instant I stopped resisting the present moment, I became free of the painbody. In other words, when I had let go of my expectations that this moment should be different than what was actually happening, (i.e. the physical changes in the body, the changes in my thoughts, the change in my mood and emotions), all symptoms, physical, mental and emotional pain dissolved. I felt normal again. When I say "normal" I mean present, rather than the "unconscious normal."
The painbody of course feeds the ego, the very structure that lives on identification and separation. To rise above the female painbody, collective female unconsciousness, bring your attention into the body, by feeling the energy, sensations, created by emotions, thoughts. It is also important to stop identifying with all the labels, judgments, interpretations that may arise in the mind. Be the space, the unconditional love, for the arising painbody. In the full acceptance of what is, comes peace. Then the sensations experienced in the body become fuel for presence. I now feel gratitude and fulfillment in my experiences as a woman (menses, pregnancy and menopause); my role as a mother had provided an opportunity to demonstrate unconditional love; and now I feel the Goddess within, that is to say, the realization of my spiritual essence, who I really am, that lives and experiences itself through my female form.
Karcal1 writes, "I am an atheist, and while I am enjoying this book and trying to put the practices into my everyday life, everytime I read the word "g-d", it rubs me the wrong way and turns me off of the message..."
In one of the early webinar sessions both Eckhart and Oprah commented on the word God. Eckhart said he rarely uses the word God, because the word has been widely misused and misinterpreted. Instead he uses words like the formless, or consciousness, or Being. Those words do not create an image in our minds. Oprah, however, uses the word God. I also use the word God sometimes. However, there was a time when I refrained from using the word because it too rubbed me the wrong way. Until I realized the true meaning of God. God, consciousness, stillness, whatever the name, has no form. It is the timeless essence; the eternal now. "The Tao that can be named is not the true Tao", says the ancient Chinese book of wisdom, the Tao Te Ching.
Perhaps, the ideas you have of God, "...a man floating around in the sky with a bunch of rules to follow that if are not followed, one is punished and judged..." were once ideas put into you, but now you have the choice to let them go.
You asked, "...Can one not become *enlightened* without mentioning g-d and believing in g-d?..." Certainly one can. Buddhists, for example, never use the word God. God is not an idea, nor is God something to believe in. Both attachment and aversion to the word God can become a hindrance to realizing the reality behind that word. Enlightenment is feeling the God essence, the presence or stillness, within. Eckhart defined enlightenment in The Power of Now as, "...your natural state of felt oneness with Being."
In closing, I would like to leave you with some words that Eckhart said in the last session, "You are the awareness disguised as a person."
Be well...be in peace,
Kim Eng
© 2008, Kim Eng
This may be just my ego talking, but I find the idea of you charging $95 per private session a bit unsettling, although I do not know the length of the sessions, etc. It would be hard to believe that you need to charge that much to pay your bills. And how could you do that, pay your bills, if you did not refuse anyone on the basis of money? I don't know, you may be completely sincere, but are you sure you and Eckhart won't just become just another example of how the ego loves money and actually runs our society?