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Hello Everyone,
That was an amazing session! This is a significant chapter and phase in our awakening, as we recognize the ego in the form of the roles that we play. I am so grateful that I now have enough awareness to enjoy exposing the ego in me. It can be quite funny to watch. However, it wasn't always like that, of course. I used to be quite the ‘kicker and screamer' as I was undergoing my transformation into spiritual living. That is to say, moving from a strongly identified mind-based sense of self to living a life rooted in spirit. I had a lot of resistance and pain during the initial stages of recognizing my roles and disidentifying from them. I can only reassure you that it gets easier. It is the awareness that frees us from the ego and brings about the arising of a new world (a new earth). As Eckhart puts it, "The world can only change from within."
We are undergoing a transformation. As the caterpillar sheds its shell before transforming into a butterfly, we are peeling back the ego's protective layers that have become our prison and are preventing us from living our true purpose. By becoming, as Eckhart says, "The space for whatever is arising" we begin to dissolve the many faces of the ego. However, as our awareness grows and as we become more conscious of our old conditioning, we may also begin feeling the pain of our past, unconscious actions. Many people fear going through the emotional pain that was created by our unconsciousness, so they resist it which then creates even more pain and suffering. Guilt arises when you identify with past unconsciousness, and this is one way in which the ego may try to return. Yet, there is nothing to fear as we undergo this transformation, "...though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me...," Psalms 23:4. Death, of course, refers to either physical or psychological death (the ego). Once the ego diminishes, we will of course, as Eckhart said last Monday, "find the balance between human and Being."
This is about balancing our functions, roles (human) in society, such as mother, father, wife, husband, doctor, lawyer, cashier clerk, street cleaner, etc., and the dimension of Being which is the God essence in us. Each half which contains a segment of the other, i.e. yin and yang symbol, cannot be separated. When we become separate from human and being, we live out of balance, therefore suffer. Many of us, for thousands of years, have ignored our true essence. That is to say, we had become ignorant of our true self; in so doing we have lived our lives creating misery and suffering in our search for fulfillment and happiness.
Is it then possible to "Be" and still function in society? Smtan04 asked, "...PLEASE HELP WITH AN UNFINISHED QUESTION FROM LAST NIGHT'S WEBINAR....Eckhart was about to answer a very important question that many were waiting to hear....Oprah had asked him how he introduced himself to others without using roles or labels...."
The more we become aware of who we really are, who we are not falls away by itself. The egoic need to see yourself as either superior or inferior towards others is no longer there. Instead of identification with the roles that we play, we attend to our functions of the moment, mother, teacher, lawyer, etc. without making an identity out of them. For example, when I am counseling or teaching others spiritually, my function is that of a teacher, counselor. However, the moment I cease counseling or teaching, I am "nobody." In other words, I'm back to "Being." This doesn't mean that I stop "Being" when I am teaching and counseling. In fact, my function inherently arises out the depth of Being (stillness), which is the true source of all answers.
On many occasions when asked, "What do you do?" I would answer, "I'd prefer not to talk about this right now. I would much rather ‘just be with you.'" Some people obviously felt uncomfortable with this, and there would be an awkward moment of silence. I would then practice "being the space" for the uncomfortableness or silence. One could say, I was practicing being with the unknown and allowing for whatever to arise in the moment. Sometimes it happened that there was then a noticeable sense of relief in the other person, followed by an authentic interaction between two human beings.
Seeker0612 asked, "....I have been explaining to my 5 yr old daughter that her negative thoughts are separate from her, and coming from a place we call the ego. She really seems to get it...she asked me yesterday "mommy, does my ego love me". It was such a sweet question, and I want to answer it correctly, and age appropriately. Any guidance would be appreciated..."
If your daughter has an understanding of the term ‘ego,' I would suggest you may try saying something like this: "Honey, the ego is not the real you, so how can the ego truly love you? Only the ‘real' you can truly love you."
Sdf926 asks for clarification on "Collective Grievances" (pg 65, ANE) and Botokx has similar questions that are related to our current time, grievances with the situation between Tibet and China, the collapse of the Soviet Union.
Passive resistance or non-resistance is based on the recognition that no problem can be solved on the level of consciousness that created the problem in the first place (I believe Carl Jung said that).
The collapse of Soviet communism happened from within, not through an outside force (which would have kept it alive much longer). As Eckhart points out in A New Earth, it was the collapse of a collective egoic mind structure, a monolithic thought form that people no longer believed in.
As long as a grievance is held in the mind (personal or collective), the ego remains in place and the cycle of conflict continues. If grievances are relinquished, the unconscious cycle is broken. But, as Eckhart points out, they can only be relinquished if you recognize unconsciousness for what it is rather than make it into somebody's identity. When watching an interview with the Dalai Lama I was amazed to see that he holds no grievance towards the Chinese. (What a relief because I am of Chinese descent!). In my view, if Tibetan monks continue practicing mindfulness and meditation, there is a good chance that real change will come about. I recently read that already there is a small but increasing number of Chinese people who travel to Tibet for spiritual guidance. Tibet has the potential of being the place where a spiritual rebirth of China begins.
Perhaps non-resistance is not the answer in each and every case. I don't know. But I do know this: if you feel that you have to fight for a cause, fight with peace in your heart.
Jam828 asks, "how do you deal with family members especially if you don't want to participate in old egoic patterns of relating but want to spend time with them?... how do I protect my children from unconsciousness?"
I love the saying of Ram Das, "If you think you are so enlightened, go spend a week with your parents." Are you rooted enough in awareness so that you do not participate in the old egoic patterns? When you are the awareness, you are the space for unconditional love and acceptance even for unconscious family members. Eckhart said something like this: "Allow others to be where they are. Do not demand that a person change. Change does not come about in others by trying to get them to change. Give the other person complete acceptance."
How are we to protect our children from unconsciousness? We cannot fully protect our children from unconscious behavior. However, we can give them the means to deal with unconsciousness in others as well as in themselves. The best way of teaching this is to live it yourself. Your state of consciousness will be their greatest teacher. Oprah had said it in another way: "Children pick up your energy. Energy is the child's language." The words you use to communicate and teach are secondary.
Toni5859 asks for clarification regarding Eckhart's description of "What is commonly called "falling in love" is in most cases an intensification of egoic wanting and needing. You become addicted to another person, or rather to your image of that person. It has nothing to do with true love, which contains no wanting whatsoever." Pg. 88.
Can we agree that real "Love" has no opposite? Can we also agree that the term "falling in love" has its reverse that is "falling out of love"? When the ego thinks of love, there is a need, unconscious of course, for the other person to complete who I am or rather who I think I am. In other words, what I perceive to be lacking in myself, I need you to fulfill.
I could best answer by relating my own personal experience. Prior to entering into a relationship with Eckhart, I was single and feeling happy and conscious. I had often heard that Life gives you exactly what you need to awaken. And for me, a relationship is what I needed to awaken even more. Because shortly after entering into the relationship with Eckhart, I became aware of all my expectations of what a relationship "should look and be like." At first, I tried to place those expectations onto him, as well as myself, internally demanding that they be fulfilled. Suddenly, I realized that I was not having a real relationship. Rather, I was having a "relationship with an idea" in my head.
With the concept of "relationship" come expectations, memories of past relationships, and further personally and culturally conditioned mental concepts of what a relationship should be. I had learnt that with each idea, expectation, I had about a "relationship," I suffered. When I became free of my ideas of relationship, there was peace. A sense of lightness began to flow within the relationship and within myself. Finally, deep within myself, I understood that there are no relationships. There is only the present moment, and in the moment there is only relating. This, I would say, is true love, true relationship.
If you would like to read more about true love and relationships, go to eckharttolle.com, click on news, click on interviews, scroll to "Relationships - True Love and the Transcendence of Duality." This is an article I wrote based on an interview with Eckhart.
Last Monday's session, Eckhart said, "Dogs are more connected with Being." Therefore, in closing, I leave you with these words taken from a cartoon: two boys and a dog are lying on the grass, daydreaming. One boy says, "I think I'm going to be a doctor when I grow up." The other boy says, "I think I'm going to be an astronaut." The dog says, "I think I'm going to be a dog."
Be well...be in peace,
Kim Eng
© 2008, Kim Eng
I've been on this path for about 6 years now and it feels like I'm reaching a point very close to complete breakdown of my mind defined identity. Having become aware of many layers of mind identification it seems like I've reached a final layer. The best way I can describe it is an "I thought" without any additional content. I can see this "I thought" clearly and how being unaware of it ties me to an identity limited to the head. When I focus attention on it it's clear there's more to "me" than this "I thought", in bringing awareness to it my center shifts from the head to the chest area and a deep sense of peace appears. However, this is where I become stuck, I can see clearly that I am not this mind defined "I thought" but at the same time it isn't clear what my true identity is - it's like I can glimpse my true self but not quite realize it; like I'm stuck in no-man's land between knowing what I'm not and not truly knowing what I am. Do you have any advice for going beyond this "stalemate"? Thank you for listening 
Kim, I love your blogs. You really do bring a warm and wonderful sensibility to all of this. And I love Eckhart's book, and these sessions with Oprah and Eckhart. . .they're a wonderful gift. I can relate to much of what you're saying. I woke up about 20 years ago. . . it was as though I had been spending my life totally unconscious, like a puppet, and someone else was pulling the strings. Looking back and using Eckhart's term, I was spending much of my time contending with my pain-body; what a nightmare. I'm eternally grateful for that inner transformation. . . .on some level it felt like such a paradox. . . I had to give up everything I thought I ever wanted in order to have everything I thought I ever wanted. After that amazing experience, I took a rest for a while. . . didn't really know where to go or what to do next in order to keep going spiritually, so I think I did go into a spiritual sleep. My life for the last 20 years has been peaceful but there are times when I've had this longing to go deeper within. Some of the things I've done over the last years which didn't always make sense because I really didn't quite get the purpose or the message. . . like A Course in Miracles, meditation. . . I really didn't know what the goal was. Now, with A New Earth as my guide, and these sessions, I think I do. . . all the things I've read, and learned, really teach the same thing. Learn to be in the moment, stay present. And these sessions with Eckhart and Oprah not only explain it all, but Eckhart is giving me a way to do that. . . I know how to do it now. It's so simple to stay in the moment and yet it's so simple to lose your focus and go off into that incessant thinking. Breathing has become a way for me to stay present. Who knew! It's strange, because it's something I've always known in my head I think, and now I'm doing it. . .I'm really able to do it. I'm able so often now to recognize when it's my ego and just breathe to get me into the present moment. My biggest question has been how do you go from an idea in your head, to 'knowing' and feeling and doing. . . and being. And I think this perplexing question is being answered for me. . .finally. The 'how' is happening by being in the 'now'. And now, thanks to you all, I'm able to do that. Such a difficult thing for me to understand for so many years, and now I just have to shake my head at the wonder and simplicity of it all. All those years ago when I was going thru the process of awakening, at the end, when I felt like I was finished for a while (now I know it was the complete dismantling of my pain-body. . .it's gone to the point where it really isn't 'my story' anymore. . .it's just gone), I just had to shake my head then, and I had the most profound and gentle thought. . .it was 'so it was you all the time'. All this searching, all the pain, all the years to find something. . .and it was here, in me, all the time. Amazing. It felt then, and still feels today like a miracle. I have that same feeling now, in some way. Thank you again. . . to you, and Eckhart and Oprah.