10 Posts
Hello Dear Friends,
This is a slightly shorter than usual Blog, which is due to the fact that I'm still traveling with Eckhart. We've just spent a few days in Kansas City where Eckhart did some interviews.
Thank you everyone for making the past ten weeks such a blessing in my life and in the lives of all the readers of this Blog. I am truly thankful for your love and gratitude that was noticeably palpable in your writings, along with your questions that enabled this Blog to be an inspiring dialogue. There is also a deep gratitude for this timeless moment now - no beginning, no end, just the eternal Now.
11996633 writes, "...Kim, I'm really enjoying your Audio Meditations, will you be offering any more Meditations, they are so calming and soothing to my mind, body, and soul?? I practice them every day; they are such a beautiful gift. One more question, will you be continuing to Blog, after the ANE classes are finished, I get so much from all of your Blog Posts, every week??..."
Thank you 11996633, I'm glad that you are enjoying the audio meditations. I will, with Sounds True Publishing, be releasing this fall on CD an in-depth guided meditation, tentatively titled, Meditations for a New Earth. Also, I am currently planning a fall teaching schedule of talks, intensives, retreats and Presence through Movement workshops. When the countries and dates are confirmed, it will be posted on eckharttolle.com and emailed to you through the Eckhart's Teaching Newsletter (to receive this newsletter, you must sign up on-line at eckharttolle.com).
In regards to continuing to Blog on Oprah.com, this is my last Blog entry. I will, however, begin answering some questions in the Eckhart Teachings Newsletter, which is emailed periodically throughout the year. I invite you to email me your questions at info@eckharttolle.com, subject heading, "Questions for Kim Eng."
11996633 regarding your question, "...could you direct me to some further reading material on frequency holders. Some of us, on the message boards, have been looking for more clarity about the frequency holders, and some more reading material recommendations may be of some help to all of us who believe that we may, indeed, be frequency holders..."
Neither, Eckhart nor I know of any books that specifically reference the frequency holders. Perhaps your local bookstore or library could help you find some books regarding the "contemplative life."
Many people, including myself at one time, have questioned their religious beliefs. Such is the case with Seeker0612. This questioning indicates that your awareness is growing and is leading you to seek the truth. However, the truth can only be found within. This is the only truth that can set you free. Spiritual truths are not beliefs. Spiritual truths are a deep knowing within you. By knowing, I mean, a direct experience and sensing of the light of God, which is consciousness. I believe you have already glimpsed this truth; otherwise you would not be questioning your conditioned ways of thinking about religion. So, your questioning is a good thing; as well as relevant.
Seeker0612, you ask whether Eckhart believes that Jesus was sent from God, etc. I think Eckhart would say that Jesus was a man who lived 2000 years ago and awakened to his true identity, the timeless I AM, which is consciousness itself (the "light"). And so Jesus the person becomes Christ. (i.e. filled with Christ-consciousness or divine Presence). His profound wisdom teachings arose out of that state of consciousness. "The only begotten son", refers to the eternal I AM, the divine essence identity that dwells within every man and woman. (On that level, all humans are "one in God"). And so Christ tells us: "You are the light of the world". His wisdom teachings show the way to that realization. We need to realize the "Christ within", our essential divine identity. That realization is the "truth that will set us free".
However, it would probably take an entire book to answer all your questions thoroughly, and even that may only satisfy your mind. In short, I will say this: no matter which spiritual book you pick up to read, a spiritual truth cannot be comprehended unless it already resides within you. I can assure you that your understanding of spiritual books, including the Bible, will develop as your awareness grows.
In regards to your question, "...Sometimes when I meditate, I hear things like "I am with you", "you are safe".....I don't know if this is my own ego playing tricks on me, or maybe its the Divine Spirit..."
I would say, these are affirming words; therefore, most likely, coming from your higher consciousness, spirit. If a sense of inner peace accompanies such messages, it is usually a sign that they come from consciousness.
Again, thank you to all readers and contributors of this blog. I sincerely wish each and every one a wonderful journey into that which you are seeking, the "peace of God." As Eckhart mentioned last session, "This is not the end, but a beginning". What he meant was, of course, that this is the beginning, for many of you, of a profound shift in consciousness that will affect every aspect of your life. It is indeed a great adventure. When you are absolutely present, however, as I mentioned above, there is neither beginning nor end - just this timeless moment, still and yet vibrant with life.
I would like to leave you with a quote, which Eckhart mentioned in the last session as well as in chapter of ANE, from the fourteenth-century poet and Sufi master Hafiz:
I am a hole in a flute
that the Christ's breath moves through.
Listen to this music.
Be well...be in peace...
Kim Eng
© 2008, Kim Eng
Hello Dear Friends,
Once again, thank you for sharing your gratitude writings. The energy radiating out from them is simply superb! As I sat down to write this blog, I closed my eyes, went into stillness and two lines from the Ten Commandments came into my mind, "...have no other Gods before me...do not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything..." In other words, as Eckhart says, your inner purpose is primary, all else is secondary.
This leads me directly into a question from Mebat12 regarding prayer. She/he says, "... Is there a role for prayer in Eckhart's teachings, and if so, who would I be praying to?
Yes, of course, there is a role for prayer in Eckhart's teaching. However, it may not be prayer in the "usual" meaning of the word as understood in most religions. For example, many years ago, I was a member of a Christian church; I had learned to pray for all my needs, money, family, relationship, health, etc. I had learned to pray with the intention of asking for "something to be given to me." It wasn't until I had my own direct experience of the omnipresence of God, stillness, that I realized this was not the deepest meaning of prayer. True prayer is communion and communication with the divine, a deep inner connection to stillness. True prayer is your inner purpose. This, I believe, is the meaning of the Bible words, "to pray without ceasing". I understood Jesus' words: "The kingdom of God does not come with signs to be observed, nor will people say, ‘Here it is,' or ‘There it is,' because the kingdom of God is within you." (Luke 17:21), and "...do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes...your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well." (Luke 12:22 to 31). And so, my need for prayer, in the conventional sense, ceased and was replaced with an undivided sensing, communing, connecting with the divine essence within.
There is no real conflict between Eckhart's teaching and the teachings of an ‘organized religion' which you (melbat12) say, "... I really love ANE and everything that Eckhart teaches ‘feels' true to me, but personal spiritual experiences (often initiated through organized religion) throughout my life have also been very powerful...How can I reconcile my religious beliefs, which I have always ‘known' to be true...with Eckhart's teachings, which I also feel that I ‘know' to be true?..."
There is no need to make any effort to reconcile the two teachings. Awareness brings about a spiritual understanding. As your awareness grows, you will recognize that the essence behind all teachings, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, Eckhart's etc. points to the same truth - the one God, one consciousness, one spirit, is within. "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10). Then Melbat12, your question, "...Do I need to pray, or is being "present" and "conscious" enough? Are they, in essence, the same thing?" If you are fully present, conscious, you are in a state of prayer because prayer is our connection, communion and communication with God, the divine essence within. Then is there anything wrong with asking for things in prayer? Of course not. However, before you do, ask yourself - "who is asking?" Is it my ego or consciousness? What would a non-egoic petitionary prayer look like? Here are some examples taken from A Course In Miracles: (each line is a separate prayer)
Let me remember what my purpose is.
Let me remember that my goal is God.
I want the peace of God.
Other prayers may be in the form of affirmations. For example: (again, each line is a separate prayer/affirmation)
God is in everything I see.
Peace to my mind. Let all my thoughts be still.
The past is over. It can touch me not.
Chucka949 writes, "I have been practicing meditation daily for months. I have progressed from eliminating thoughts for a second or two to now up to a minute or so. My question is about what is experienced during the silence? All I have is silence. Should there be more? This certainly is not all there is to my conscious self..."
It's good that you have integrated a meditation practice into your daily life. As you continue your practice, I believe that you will soon discover that within the silence is a deep sense of inner peace, the peace that passes all understanding. However, to the mind, silence, the cessation of thought, is not enough. The mind wants, desires and expects more than what is being offered in the present moment. It is true that, while in meditation, one may experience a sense of bliss, euphoria, or receive information through images, visions, thoughts, all of which pass in time. However, no experience in itself is all that important. It comes and goes. The experiences themselves are not ultimately what matters. What is it, then, that ultimately matters? Present moment awareness. That is to say, the inner space out of which all experiences come and into which they return. This is the unmanifested. Key word here is "un-manifested". My reply to your last statement, "This certainly is not all there is to my conscious self," is: stop looking for your conscious self in form, where you will never find it, because you are the formless consciousness in which "chucka949" arises and demands more than the "isness" of the present moment. The more you practice present moment awareness (alert presence without thought), the more this silent power grows in you and comes into this dimension through you. Eventually, it may change your whole life and through you, the world. In the meantime, don't demand results or experiences.
Jojod13 says, "...Last night in my dreams I experienced an active pain body. Can the pain body feed off the mental activity of dreams? If so, how can one become present & aware during sleep?..."
The sleeping dream state has a great deal in common with the normal state of wakefulness. In both states, images, emotions, thoughts and experiences arise and pass away. However, in both states, there is one common element: "you." That is to say, you as the awareness that is having the dream, the thought, the experience, etc. Jojod13 mentioned, "...The dream-self was irritated at everyone and everything..., but I didn't realize it was pain body behavior until I woke up..." The fact that you had realized that it was your painbody (when you awoke) shows that there is a degree of awareness. If you had been totally unconscious upon waking, you would have continued your day in irritation. The painbody is fueled by our identification with negative thoughts and emotions, in both dream and waking states. If the painbody cannot feed on your thoughts while in the waking state, it may try to replenish itself in the sleeping dream state. However, don't allow the mind to make this into a problem (which the ego and painbody would love).
With the practice of presence, and by grace, one can also be present and aware even in sleep. I would suggest, this evening, when you are in bed, practice falling asleep consciously. In other words, practice your meditation; be aware of your breath and inner body as you fall into sleep...zzzz...pleasant dreams!
Jmd123456 says, "...Kim, although I appreciate your honesty, I would love to hear from you why it took you a week to practice Presence in a difficult situation with your roommate. As a spiritual teacher yourself and with Eckhart by your side, if you cannot practice Presence in a difficult situation I wonder how the rest of us, who are taking this class, are supposed to. There was no mention of nonresistance in the situation you write about. Also, the way you describe the situation it sounds like your ego was involved instead of having compassion for your roommate. All things that have been taught to us throughout this book and this Webinar. Any comment would be appreciated. Thank you."
I am a slow learner and I was cursed - blessed - with a heavy painbody. That's why it took me so long to disidentify from emotions and judgments (thoughts). It wasn't the last time, either. The retreat was many years ago. Slowly, however, the time gap between being lost in thoughts/painbody and the arising of the state of surrender became shorter and shorter.
Trayc123 writes, "...My question is regarding my marriage and my ego and pain body. There is a lack of emotional & physical intimacy for me in my marriage. My husband doesn't seem to need it... Is it the small me that craves the intimacy?... I wonder if I should only be focused on what I have to give rather than what I wish to receive; then trust in God from there. Is it right to have an expectation for intimacy? My husband does not initiate physical intimacy, either, but does respond well if I initiate. I wonder if it is better to be single and lack intimacy than married and lack it?"
In a way, you answered your own question, "...I wonder if I should only be focused on what I have to give rather than what I wish to receive; then trust in God from there..." In addition, I would say, not only focus on giving rather than receiving, but it's an opportunity to practice presence. When the need for physical and emotional intimacy arises, become present, feel the sensations in the body created by this urge for physical and emotional connection. Then, notice the thoughts that relate to this desire for closeness. Ask yourself, am I, in any way, expecting my husband to fulfill or complete who I am? Am I able to express my feeling to my husband without expecting him to change? Can I accept my husband as is? Can I accept this moment? Perhaps the real intimacy that you crave is for your true self, consciousness, spirit. The body and mind crave; however, your spiritual essence is already fulfilled through itself. As your awareness grows, I believe, the answer will become clear whether you wish to remain married or become single. In either circumstance, if there are any expectations, eventually unhappiness and suffering follow.
Irish809 is "...currently single, but certainly would enjoy being in a "love" relationship..." She says, "...It seems to me if we are the inner space where true love can flow, then we can love anyone. But that is not the case in human life..." What role does physical attraction play? Is being physically attracted to someone all ego? Do you think physical attraction is necessary? If a person becomes awakened, does physical attraction no longer matter?...Also, I have met man I connect with on so many deeper levels; he has been practicing living in the present moment for many years so it's great to have someone who understands the work I am doing and who is experiencing his own spiritual journey; but I don't find myself feeling a physical attraction to him. Please share any insight or thoughts you have on this subject. I feel lost in this area..."
Physical attraction is created by the body and mind. There is nothing wrong with physical attraction to a person when entering into a relationship. However, as you may know, physical attraction alone does not sustain a "healthy" relationship. What is it then that sustains a healthy relationship? It is your spiritual connection, not only with your partner, but with yourself. Your primary relationship is with God, spirit, stillness. Everything else, including your partner, children, family, etc. is secondary. So, when your primary relationship is with God, the person whom you choose to be in relationship with is attractive to you. Not necessarily physically. Physical attraction comes and goes. As we physically grow older, we may not necessarily sustain our good looks. When we become upset with our partners, are they physically attractive to us? Probably not. True love is in the eye of the beholder. The beholder, of course, is consciousness recognizing itself in the other. "Romantic love" or a mere "physical attraction" is fleeting and therefore ultimately an illusion. The mind (ego) creates ideas about love and an ideal partner and becomes upset or "disillusioned" when reality fails to conform to its ideas.
So, Irish809, the man that you say, "...I connect with on so many deeper levels...," I would say, if you are thinking about a relationship, you are thinking too much. True relationships and love are not a product of thought, but flow from the very core of your being.
In closing, I am grateful for this opportunity to commune with you in spirit, as well as through our words. I would like to leave you with a quote from the book Be Still and Know, by Thich Nhat Hanh:
The miracle is not to walk on water.
The miracle is to walk on the green earth,
dwelling deeply in the present moment
and feeling truly alive.
Be well...be in peace...
Kim Eng
© 2008, Kim Eng
Hello Dear Friends,
Thank you to all the people who have contributed their gratitude comments, which made for a truly beautiful and inspiring reading. While reading the comments, I felt a wonderful surge of energy. I was reminded, this morning in the shower, of that energy, when the words of a song came into my mind, "...What the world needs now is love sweet love..." I truly feel that by voicing our gratitude, even for the simple things, we are scattering love around the world. Surely, by showing your gratitude, you have extended your love to me and to all the other readers. What a blessing you have bestowed upon us! I am grateful for your blessings and the love that we are spreading to make this world a better place...for what the world needs now is love sweet love...
With the completion of chapter eight, we have entered the timeless realm of love, which is inner space. It is a realm of consciousness that cannot be understood through the intellect. Words merely point to that state of consciousness, that stillness. The keys that open the doors to that omnipresence of Love are acceptance, awareness and feeling. Love is not a concept. Love is the felt oneness with the totality of Life. The key word here is "felt". Love or inner space can only be known through experiencing, through feeling it within. Out of that feeling, that connection, arises your true purpose - which is to love, to let love flow into everything you do. In other words, being the space for everything that arises.
Cielo1 writes, "...I read that you teach tai chi and yoga to release the trapped energy in the body. I love practicing yoga, and I would like to get some pointers on how to allow the energy to flow and grow still awareness during the positions."
Any movement, whether it is Yoga, Qi Gong, Tai' Chi, walking (preferably brisk), running, jogging, etc., moves and activates the flow of energy. However, any movement done without awareness (presence) is only an exercise of the physical body. Such exercise or movement is usually a means to an end. Movement (yoga, or other exercises), if practiced with present moment awareness, not only begins to release the stagnant energy within the body and activate the flow of chi (energy), but can also be a portal into stillness, into inner space. Your primary practice in yoga or any movement or exercise should be Presence. That is primary, and the movement is secondary. In other words, most of your attention should be turned inward. Become aware of your breathing, of sensations in the body (not just at the start of your practice, but throughout). Accept what is, be totally in the present moment, without labeling, judging, comparing or criticizing yourself or others. If thoughts arise, notice them; then return your attention to your breath and energy body.
This is what I teach in my Presence through Movement TM workshops and retreats: using the physical form - the body - in order to access the formless dimension within ourselves, the state of consciousness that is Presence. In addition, there are yoga poses designed to release the old accumulated emotional energy trapped within the connective tissues of the body. The Qi Gong helps to restore the original natural life energy within, and also stimulates and opens the body's energy channels. Combining the two modalities, Qi Gong and Yoga, into a Presence-infused movement brings about a harmonious synthesis of action and stillness.
Priyav73 asks for clarification on last week's session with Oprah and Eckhart regarding love, loss, attachment to the form and the light of consciousness shining through the form. Priyav73 asks, "...how does one cope with the loss of a loved one, I feel my attachment to the form of my father and uncle is real, not altogether created by my ego..."
Eckhart last session used the analogy, "...a person's life is like a tapestry, which consists of all kinds of things that one identifies with...when a great loss happens...a huge hole is left in the tapestry...and that is painful when you identify with the tapestry (the form)...behind the tapestry, there's a light that shines through...that's why you can even see your life (the tapestry)...without the light of consciousness, nothing would be...when you don't resist this hole that has suddenly appeared in the tapestry of your life...there is suddenly peace...peace comes when the emptiness that is left behind when a form has dissolved is not resisted internally." Eckhart also said, "...even in true love, there is usually a little bit of attachment to the form..." However, if the attachment is too strong, you will not be able to sense the light of consciousness. That is to say, your primary connection has then been with the physical form (the person) rather than the true essence of the individual, formless consciousness. As you mentioned, "I feel my attachment....is real..." Yes, the attachment is real. Sadness over a loss of a loved one is not suffering if the sadness is accepted completely. Suffering happens when we expect life to be something more and different than what it is in the present moment. When we let go of all expectations, there is peace. We cope with loss through non-resistance to what is. So when your sadness arises, you accept and feel it completely. Through the acceptance of what is, the light of consciousness shines through the empty space left behind by the form that has dissolved. Remember, all forms are impermanent; the love within your father, your uncle and yourself is eternal.
Dies w asks, "...I have currently started using a mantra meditation (via School of Philosophy). However, it seems to be contradictory to use a sound, the mantra, to 'arrive' at silence. It is called a 'vehicle to silence'. Could you give some advice on this?..."
Using a mantra allows your attention to become one pointed so that it doesn't get drawn into every thought that arises. In the same way, awareness of the breath or inner body is used to draw your attention away from the thinking mind so that the stillness within can be revealed. Therefore, the use of a technique or "vehicle" is fine; however, a time comes when we must leave the "vehicle" behind. A mantra (or any technique) can be helpful up to a point. At some stage, however, it needs to be dropped, otherwise it becomes an obstacle. When the mantra is dropped, only the stillness (pure consciousness) remains. The mantra has then served its purpose. Some people don't need a mantra. They go to the stillness directly. It depends on the individual.
Cielo1 writes, "...I really was stirred by this subject of the ever-changing nature of things. In the last weeks it has become so clear how there is always going to be 'something up', whether it is no money to pay bills, or kids are sick or I don't feel good about my body, or somebody else's drama comes to my attention, and this cycle might repeat itself or something else comes up. In a way this feels like an awakening from this idea that once some 'problem is resolved', money is made or I have the perfect body, or even once I reach a certain level of awakening 'things will be good'. Rather, I feel some kind of hopelessness in this realization. Do you have any insights in this?..."
To arrive at hopelessness, as you have, is good. Congratulations! It means you are awakening from the dream. The dream of what? Your life as you think it should be.
You have realized that there is no perfect life situation. The expectation of a "perfect life" is an illusion. This illusion is the cause of great suffering in people. Now you have become "dis-illusioned", which is surely a good thing. You can now stop looking for fulfillment where it cannot be found: in your life-situation, and realize that true fulfillment is already here when you align yourself internally with the present moment.
Dolphin773 says, "...In the beginning of labor I can be present and be with my breathing and in my body. Basically I can handle it and I feel at peace and I feel focused. But at the end of the labor usually in the last two hours I feel out of control with the pain. It is so intense I cannot accept it and I feel like I cannot go on anymore. Would you suggest I try an epidural this time for the last half of labor? I was thinking that maybe I simply need it to cut the pain in half I am hoping and help me get through that hard end part of the labor? Or do you have some other advice for me on how to cope with the last part of labor..."
Can you become aware of your own projection of the future? Your expectation, imagination and anticipation of the last two hours of childbirth, the so called intolerable pain, is causing your distress, anxiety and fear. Here is a true story about projecting into future events. I recall at one of the ten day silent retreats I attended, I shared a room with a woman who had asthma. When she slept, she made a gasping sound. The sound was so loud that it woke me up and kept me from sleeping. However, I decided that I would not complain, but use the intensely loud noise and sleepless nights as my spiritual practice. There were several meditation sittings throughout the day. However, there were two meditations that I would not attend because those were the hours that I slept, from 9:00 to 11:00 PM and 5:00 to 7:00 AM. During the rest of the night, I would lie awake in bed, cursing and trying to practice presence. Night after night this went on, until the second to last night of the ten day retreat. I was lying in bed, between 9:00 and 11:00 PM, desperately trying to fall asleep. My mind was racing with thoughts such as, "I'll never get any sleep tonight, I should have asked for another room, screw this spiritual practice crap, and so on." Suddenly, I realized that my thoughts were of the future. It was one of those aha moments, when I heard a thought, unlike the usual thoughts that were going through my head that night. It said, "How do you know that you won't get any sleep tonight? Maybe she won't be as loud or maybe you won't hear anything. Maybe you will sleep." The next thing I knew, I woke up the next morning in time to join my roommate and others for the 5:00 am meditation hour.
Does this mean you won't have any labor pain? I doubt it. However, the pain may not be as intense as you experienced last time. It's possible that you may ease through this child birthing experience, relatively speaking, without even asking for painkillers or an epidural. The point, however, is, nobody knows the future moment until it arrives. I do know, though, when I stopped projecting into the future and became present in the moment, my life situation wasn't anything that I had imagined (feared) it to be.
Regarding your experience, "...During labor I really felt sorry for myself and angry my husband didn't have this pain but that I had to alone feel this pain to give us both a child..." In that moment, I believe it is called "transition," women often feel intense pain, anger or some kind of emotional upset. I recall slapping my husband across the face. Only when that moment arrives, transition, will you know whether or not to relieve the pain of labor through continued breathing, drugs or an epidural. In your previous two childbirths, you managed without it. Remember, the saying, in ANE and last session's webinar class, "this too shall pass." Childbirth is such a beautiful and sacred experience. It was the birth (labor and all) of my child that started my deeper journey to God.
In closing, I am grateful for my beautiful view of the nearby forest, the sound of chirping outside my window as I write these words, and the golden silence between the intermittent song of the bird. I would like to leave you with these words that Eckhart said last webinar session, "Feel yourself as life, rather than a person. You are Life experiencing itself temporarily as this person."
Be well...be in peace...
Kim Eng
© 2008, Kim Eng
Hello Dear Friends,
One exciting key, we can call it a hidden treasure, which Eckhart and Oprah touched on last session, was the acknowledgment of abundance. The acknowledgment of abundance, which is gratitude, is an essential aspect of the flowering of human consciousness, of our spirit. Without it, we seem to wither. Gratitude is the fuel for awakening. Eckhart said last Monday, "Acknowledging the good in your life is the foundation of all abundance." In my own process of awakening, like Oprah, I kept a daily gratitude journal. This helped me appreciate the little things in my life, the things we so often take for granted - the breath, the joy of a dog wagging its tail, the aliveness within my body, the laughter of a child, etc. I began to notice that through the act of gratitude, more abundance flowed into my life. What we think, we create. Of course, the only way to test this theory is to try it. If you haven't already begun to keep a gratitude journal, let us together, keep one, at least for the remaining three sessions. I would suggest that you write at least three things every day. Oprah writes five things. However, the number is not as important as beginning to do it.
Also, I invite you to write one thing that you are grateful for in the moment that you are writing to me on my blog. You may write it at the beginning or end of your question or comment. This, however, is not mandatory, but simply a suggested exercise to experience more abundance in your life. I can almost hear some people say, "Ugh." If you have resistance to this exercise, be aware of the resistance, feel it in your body, notice the thoughts that arise. Now become the space for what is and write from there. Perhaps the first entry in your journal will be, "I am grateful that I have become aware of my resistance to gratitude and abundance."
Slambert1a writes, "...The one story from the Bible that I am still trying to wrap my mind around is Eve and "Original Sin". In the fear based religion there seemed to always be the undercurrent of "women are to blame" since Eve ate the forbidden fruit. I never fully bought into that either but I realize now that my pain body did. And I think this contributed to my thinking/feeling of never being good enough... my question to you is, what are your thoughts on the story of Eve?..."
Thank you for such a thought provoking inquiry into one of the most basic errors of our thinking. There seems to be two schools of thought in regards to biblical texts and stories: literal and figurative. Behind every Biblical or Zen story, literal or figurative, lies a deeper spiritual truth and teaching.
Why does it appear in Genesis that the female is responsible for the "Fall"? I can only speculate that when the account was written, probably by a male ego, the female had already come to be seen as a threat and therefore had to be suppressed. Eckhart refers to the relationship between the ego and the male and the ego and the female (pages 155-157 of ANE).
Here are some more thoughts about the teaching intertwined with the story of "Adam and Eve" (Genesis 2) and "The Fall of Man" (Genesis 3). In my view it is about what has happened to us as human beings. Genesis 2 begins, "This is the account of the heavens and the earth when they were created." Can we for now agree that heaven is a state of consciousness rather than a place; and earth represents matter, form? As human beings, on the physical level we are either male or female. On the spiritual level we are neither male nor female. We are the formless, consciousness. Born out of the formless, consciousness becomes the world. The world as we know it, of opposites, duality, male, female, etc. The characteristic of Adam and Eve, male and female, lives within each of us. In other words, Eve, the female aspect within represents what the Chinese call the "yin" (feminine, intuitive, sensitive, mysterious, inward, passive, yielding). Adam, the male aspect within, represents the "yang" (masculine, logical, active, obvious, outward, function, mental).
As I see it, the meaning behind "The Fall of Man" refers to the birth of unconsciousness, spiritually speaking. That is to say, we lost awareness of heaven, our state of wholeness. How we lost that state of consciousness was through the arising of "knowledge." This is the beginning of perceiving and understanding the world through thinking. ("Knowing good and evil," Genesis 3:5). We categorize, differentiate and conceptualize. Simultaneously, with knowledge arising, the feminine dimension of our psyche was greatly diminished. With the identification with thinking came ego, and with the ego came pain and suffering.
Through suffering our eyes were opened and we now know that thought in itself is not the truth, and our identity derived from thinking is not who we truly are. This brings us to this moment, where we are awakening and returning to wholeness. Eckhart teaches that we cannot return to wholeness, stillness, through the thinking mind (yang, male). So then, how do we find our way back to heaven? We find our way back, through the "yin" (female), inner attention, awareness of the inner body, stillness, sensitivity, feeling rather than thinking, and yielding, the inner yes to what is. The feminine dimension that was seemingly held responsible for the fall is now enabling us to awaken!
Soarhighj says, "...I was thinking about Eckhart's statement that to say one religion is the only true religion would be the ego talking (which made sense to me). I suppose my question is Eckhart seems to be advocating his principles as truth. Wouldn't some argue that his ego/pain body concepts are theories? And the law of attraction being a theory as well?..."
I don't think Eckhart advocates his teaching as the only true teaching. His teaching is but one of many teachings throughout the ages which point to the truth. All statements, such as the one that you refer to above, we could say, are concepts, theories, until proven otherwise. How do we prove a spiritual concept or theory to be true? Through our own direct experience. In other words: are presence, ego, painbody and the law of attraction, merely mental concepts for you, or have you realized their truth in your own experience? Only your own experience can take you beyond concepts.
Soarhighj also says, "...I keep thinking about some things Jesus said such as "The only way to know God is through his son" (paraphrased-can't remember exact words). These words make me wonder if he really was enlightened or someone who really was seeking the worship of those around him?..."
In my understanding, the word God refers to the divine in its unknowable aspect, and son refers to the indwelling divine essence in man and woman. In India, this is known as Brahman which refers to ultimate reality, and Atman refers to the divine in the human form. It is through and within the human form, the son (man, woman), that we know God. That is to say, we cannot know God without experiencing form. The limitless and formless is concealed within the very limitations of form and apparent duality. The story of Jesus points to the possibility for you to know God. Not outside, but within. This is the "son", and this is the essence of who you are.
Antidiet writes, "...My first reaction was to say, "Pack your bags and be done with the pervert." Instead, I tried HARD to be present, make a space, not label, etc. I told her to reread ANE and maybe an answer would come to her...I know there is definitely something I have to learn out of this, but if you were me, what advice would you give her for what seems to be an almost unforgivable offense?..."
I believe your reply to your friend, in that moment, was the correct response. Your willingness to be the aware presence, the space, rather than the conditioned mind (reaction), is the foundation of a developing spiritual friendship. One aspect of our spiritual evolution requires that we learn the art of spiritual discernment. This means, we are able to distinguish between the thoughts that arise out of presence and the thoughts that arise out of the conditioned mind. At times, during the process of becoming skilled at spiritual discernment, the reactive mind returns, as you experienced, ..."But, now, this morning I am reverting back to "leave the pervert!"..." Then, of course, be there as the witnessing presence for what is. With practice, eventually, you will be able to access the power of presence and spiritual discernment instantly. (Since young children are often defenseless, as adults we are accountable for the welfare of all children, if you were to witness or hear, in the present moment, of such violent child abuse, it is our responsibility to take action. That is to say, report it to the authorities).
7plus2 asks, "...Oprah asked Eckhart whether when someone commits violent actions if it is the person who is responsible or if it is "only" their painbody who is responsible. Eckhart responded that the person is not responsible, but that it is the painbody that is responsible. At least that was my understanding of his answer. This is hard for me to accept..."
Eckhart did say the person who is in the grip of the energy field of the painbody is not responsible. Further to this, Eckhart said, "But they will suffer the consequences of their unconsciousness." In other words, every act, so called good or bad, has its consequences. You are not personally punished, but you suffer the effects of your unconsciousness. And when you have suffered enough, you begin to awaken from your self-created nightmare.
The real issue for you, 7plus2, is "...This is hard for me to accept. My ex-husband molested my children, raped my daughters. It is very hard for me to grasp or accept that he bears no responsibility..."
You are right, this would be a hard one to let go of. However, what are the consequences for you, of holding on to the story, unfortunate as it is, and blame towards your ex-husband? Immense anger, hatred, pain, suffering, in yourself, then perhaps passed on to your children. The time is now that your children need you most, not as the angry painbody, but as the aware presence, the guiding light, the lighthouse that beacons them out of their own pain and suffering that was caused by your ex-husband's unconscious behavior. Even if this event happened long ago, what is important is this moment, and whether you are choosing to cling to pain and suffering at this moment. Because you are awakening, I believe it is possible for you now to step beyond the story and the emotional wounds, access the power of the present moment and accept the form that this moment takes without judgment, criticism and blame.
In closing, I am grateful to all the people who have contributed questions and comments, which made for a truly inspiring reading. My fondest and deepest gratitude to you all!
I would like to leave you with two quotes from the book One Liners by Ram Dass:
Pure awareness is who I was when I was Nobody.
***
Information is just bits of data.
Knowledge is putting them together.
Wisdom is transcending them.
Be well...be still...be in peace...
Kim Eng
© 2008, Kim Eng
Hello Dear Friends,
Many of you are now going beyond a merely intellectual understanding of this teaching, and are realizing the meaning and reality of presence in your own experience. With the ending of chapter six and the beginning of chapter seven, we are entering into the space in which we are becoming free and are no longer identified with thoughts, emotions, painbody, ego. How do I know this? Because the first step has already been taken - that is the realization that you have a painbody and an ego.
It has taken many years for my painbody to dissolve. In fact, I still do not feel comfortable saying that my painbody has completely dissolved. Why? Because in my experience, the painbody can lay dormant for a long time, then suddenly become triggered through one of life's events (and there will always be challenging situations, illnesses, loss of home or job, deaths, unconscious people, etc.) and so we are once again tested. However, provided we have been practicing being present, I can assure you that in those moments when we are tested, after a long dormant period of the painbody, we find that we have gained enough awareness so that it is not able to take us over completely. In other words, there is now enough conscious presence in you to witness the painbody arise, without becoming identified with it, and watch it quickly dissolve.
Your only concern becomes, "Am I present in this moment?" By dropping any desires we have of dissolving the painbody "forever," we let go of time, past and future. That is to say, we become present and accept the form that this moment is taking; painbody, emotion, thought, or external situation. We stop trying to control our lives, our thoughts, our emotions, and our painbody. We become friendly with the present moment. By becoming friendly with the present moment, we accept what is, and in the acceptance of what is, a deeper perspective arises that enables us to perceive not only the form, (ego, painbody, external situation) but also the space in which the form arises. In other words, we are aware that we are aware. We are conscious.
Dtartist writes, "I have a conflict going on with my pain body...the anger I feel for having had the negative experiences in my life...for the abuse put upon me by my mother, for the things she never taught me, for the childhood I never had because I had to care for my brothers and never had a parent care for me...I am angry because my mother resented me and pretended she didn't...For not being taught that there was more to life than just survival..."
I don't know if you remember Eckhart saying in one of his seminar sessions, "no human being can act beyond their level of consciousness." Your mother acted according to the way in which her mind had become conditioned by her past. The things she did and the things she failed to do were an expression of her limitations as a human being. She was not spiritually awakened, and so she was unable to go beyond her limitations. When you recognize this, compassion arises and it becomes possible to forgive ("Forgive them for they know not what they do," to use the words of Jesus on the cross). It also becomes possible now to recognize your grievances as stories you have been telling yourself in your mind for many years. The stories are based on the illusion that your mother was conscious when in fact she was not. The emotional pain that you have been experiencing throughout your adult life concerning your childhood was in fact not created by what happened in your childhood, but by the thoughts that your mind produced about it. I believe it is possible for you now to step beyond all those stories, access the power of the present moment and accept the form that this moment takes without judgment and criticism.
Another one of your thoughts that keeps you stuck in negativity and dysfunction is this, "The unfortunate reality of life on this earth is that it is obscenely expensive and gets worse daily." Another sad story. The ego strengthens itself continuously through its negative judgments about life while the painbody feeds on all those thoughts. They are not the truth. What is the truth then? This moment is as it is. In the words of Eckhart, "I can make the Now into my friend or my enemy." Your mother was not conscious enough to choose, but you are. What's your choice?
By believing in the story and emotions, in other words, through your attachment to the story and emotions, the ego develops a "victim" role which then begins clouding your perception of the world, of others and yourself.
I recall a time in my awakening process, as much as I wanted awakening, I also wanted the pain. I clearly saw that there was a part of me that enjoyed feeling pain. As soon as I recognized that, of course the painbody began to dissolve.
Life has not passed you by and your suffering has not been in vain. Why not? Because it has brought you to this point where you are beginning to awaken. With this comes gratitude for the present moment. As you let go of negativity, you will soon begin to experience positive changes in your life situation.
Honeyluu asks, "What helps you stay present during conversations?"
Practice keeping some attention inward rather than giving all your attention to the world of form. In other words, feel your inner body, your breath, or the stillness within, while listening to others speak. This takes the focus away from your thoughts, judgments, labels, opinions, ideas, etc. You cannot truly listen if you are thinking. To truly listen requires still alert presence. That is to say, you become the space for what is arising. That space is unconditional love. In this love, true communication arises (which is listening with no thoughts and allowing the words to come from the space of still alert presence).
Halp337 writes, "I like your blogs, thank you. But I'm disappointed in your neutral comment about anti depressants..."
I do not advocate the use of anti-depressants or any other drugs. In fact, I believe that anti-depressants don't work in dissolving depression. In my blog last week, I had mentioned, "Using drugs, prescribed or non-prescribed, may ‘control the symptoms' of depression, but it does not deal with the underlying cause, the undissolved painbody." My answer was related directly to Mememe33's situation. She/he is currently on anti-depressants, experienced a painbody attack and dissolved it through simply becoming the aware presence. All this took place while on medication. Should she/he now immediately stop using anti-depressants? As you may know, an anti-depressant is an addictive substance and should not be withdrawn from the body abruptly. The stopping of such medication usually requires professional assistance which I recommended.
When you say, "...I wonder why NO spiritual teacher will ever admit they (anti-depressants) don't work..."
I cannot speak for other spiritual teachers, except Eckhart's last webinar session when Oprah asked him, "Does medication get in the way of using the painbody as fuel for enlightenment?" In which Eckhart replied, "To a large extent it does. There may be extreme cases when medication is necessary, and for people who are already on medication, it's certainly not advisable to go off without advice of a doctor..."
You were right in saying, "...I just think they (anti-depressants) are so common and so accepted...it's almost as if...those of us not on them are a minority." Eckhart said, "...not giving in to this culturally conditioned behavior that says whenever you feel discomfort inside yourself...immediately seek some external help in the form of a substance..." For decades, we have accepted the belief that prescription medication is a means of fixing our ailments, physical or psychological. This was our conditioning, and for many people, it still is. Does this mean we should fault them because of their unconsciousness? Any judgments, criticisms, opinions, ideas you have are thoughts. And those kinds of thoughts prevent us from understanding an individual's unique set of circumstances. Compassion arises when we let go of judgments. Every person while in the grip of the painbody has their own tolerance level to that pain. Some people, like yourself, "I still have depression and was recommended drugs, but I passed on it..." have enough awareness to accept such emotional pain, thus avoid taking medication, while others don't have that awareness yet and so do what they have been conditioned to do: take medication.
Sharenow writes, "...I found out that you have offered spiritual counseling, $95 per private session! And you are all booked up! The benefit from spiritual liberation is immeasurable. It is out-weighted well beyond all material costs.....what is your view about, in our modern world and mainly in the Western society, it turns all of the spiritual services and guidance (what used to be a free service) into business? What used to be donation-based has become more and more charge-based..."
I appreciate your concern here. The cost for some people may be unaffordable. I would not refuse any person for spiritual counseling, talks or teaching intensives because of money (this is limited to space availability). Also, a number of partial scholarships is usually available.
Perhaps, one day, money will no longer exist as a way of living and we won't need spiritual talks anymore because we will live and breathe the One Life, the Truth that "makes us free."
However, until that day comes, spiritual counselors, teachers, pastors, churches, offices, etc. need to pay their bills (rent, phone, hydro, insurance, staff, etc.). In the past, and still to a certain degree in some cultures, spiritual services and guidance are based on donations. In fact, the practice of paying tithes is very ancient. It goes as far back as Genesis in the Bible. As well, as you mentioned, "Eastern society Zen teachers and monks," spiritual temples and monasteries, are usually supported through donations by their members. In both western and eastern spiritual teachings it was customary that individuals and families would support their churches, temples, clergymen, monks, etc. through "tithing" ten percent of their gross yearly income. However, today, most temples and churches have a significant decline in members as well as income from tithing. With the higher costs in living, the average family is not able to tithe ten percent or perhaps even a lesser percentage of their income. As well, nowadays, many people are no longer members of one particular affiliation and may have more than one spiritual teacher. In those cases, tithing is not the most appropriate form of giving. Also many contemporary spiritual teachers are independent and have no source of income other than what they charge.
Both Cielo1 and Ammachi12 would like to know, beyond what Eckhart writes about, my view and observations of how to deal with the female menstruating painbody. Cielo1 says, "...I have experienced for years this great heaviness and negativity that takes over a week before menstruation starts..." and Ammachi12 said, "My difficulty is in being aware of the pain, but not getting caught up in the pain or letting it get to me psychologically..."
It's been several years since I have had any menses. However, having gone through menses, pregnancy and menopause, the changes that take place during this time happen on three levels: physical, emotional and spiritual. Chemical changes inside the body occur, which cause physical symptoms to arise such as bloating, cramping, nausea, migraines, hot flashes, etc. Chemical reactions also take place in the brain which then affects our thinking (usually negativity arises). Our emotions, of course, are directly connected to the body and mind, as well as the collective female painbody. Therefore, irritability, anger, etc. arise. What is difficult to remember while the changes in the body and mind are happening is that it is nothing personal.
The instant I stopped resisting the present moment, I became free of the painbody. In other words, when I had let go of my expectations that this moment should be different than what was actually happening, (i.e. the physical changes in the body, the changes in my thoughts, the change in my mood and emotions), all symptoms, physical, mental and emotional pain dissolved. I felt normal again. When I say "normal" I mean present, rather than the "unconscious normal."
The painbody of course feeds the ego, the very structure that lives on identification and separation. To rise above the female painbody, collective female unconsciousness, bring your attention into the body, by feeling the energy, sensations, created by emotions, thoughts. It is also important to stop identifying with all the labels, judgments, interpretations that may arise in the mind. Be the space, the unconditional love, for the arising painbody. In the full acceptance of what is, comes peace. Then the sensations experienced in the body become fuel for presence. I now feel gratitude and fulfillment in my experiences as a woman (menses, pregnancy and menopause); my role as a mother had provided an opportunity to demonstrate unconditional love; and now I feel the Goddess within, that is to say, the realization of my spiritual essence, who I really am, that lives and experiences itself through my female form.
Karcal1 writes, "I am an atheist, and while I am enjoying this book and trying to put the practices into my everyday life, everytime I read the word "g-d", it rubs me the wrong way and turns me off of the message..."
In one of the early webinar sessions both Eckhart and Oprah commented on the word God. Eckhart said he rarely uses the word God, because the word has been widely misused and misinterpreted. Instead he uses words like the formless, or consciousness, or Being. Those words do not create an image in our minds. Oprah, however, uses the word God. I also use the word God sometimes. However, there was a time when I refrained from using the word because it too rubbed me the wrong way. Until I realized the true meaning of God. God, consciousness, stillness, whatever the name, has no form. It is the timeless essence; the eternal now. "The Tao that can be named is not the true Tao", says the ancient Chinese book of wisdom, the Tao Te Ching.
Perhaps, the ideas you have of God, "...a man floating around in the sky with a bunch of rules to follow that if are not followed, one is punished and judged..." were once ideas put into you, but now you have the choice to let them go.
You asked, "...Can one not become *enlightened* without mentioning g-d and believing in g-d?..." Certainly one can. Buddhists, for example, never use the word God. God is not an idea, nor is God something to believe in. Both attachment and aversion to the word God can become a hindrance to realizing the reality behind that word. Enlightenment is feeling the God essence, the presence or stillness, within. Eckhart defined enlightenment in The Power of Now as, "...your natural state of felt oneness with Being."
In closing, I would like to leave you with some words that Eckhart said in the last session, "You are the awareness disguised as a person."
Be well...be in peace,
Kim Eng
© 2008, Kim Eng
Hello Dear Friends,
Of the entire book, the "PAINBODY" is usually the most fascinating subject for most people. Why? Because we all have one, and we all want to get rid of it (at least those who are awakening). We mentioned, last week, the importance of becoming free from identification with our roles. It is as vitally important that we liberate ourselves from our bondage to the painbody, the old emotions accumulated from our individual and collective past.
When I lived unconsciously, the painbody was my greatest companion, an essential aspect of my sense of self. Because of my unconsciousness, I couldn't recognize my attachment to pain and suffering. It felt normal to be unhappy.
When I became aware that I had a painbody, I perceived it as my enemy for a while, as something I needed to get rid of, which made me feel a little schizophrenic.
As awareness grew, the painbody became my greatest teacher. There was no need to fight or resist it anymore. With enough awareness, comes peace. By allowing the painbody to be as it was in the space of who I am, insights and wisdom spontaneously emerged.
Eventually the painbody becomes transmuted, as Eckhart said last night, "the energy trapped inside the shell (body) becomes free..., the energy transforms into presence." How beautiful is that?
What happened to Mememe33 was fundamentally important. She became aware and accepted an emotional state, then out of that acceptance, a helpful thought emerged (the inner teacher), and the emotion dissolved (transmuted suffering into presence). Congratulations!
Mememe33 then asks, "...I assume that depression is an expression of the pain body and if so does taking antidepressants to mask the symptoms of depression keep you from dealing with your painbody and eventually being able to rid yourself of it?..."
Depression is one of the many faces of the painbody. Using drugs, prescribed or non-prescribed, may control the symptoms of depression, but it does not deal with the underlying cause, the undissolved painbody. The painbody has, as Eckhart says, two states, dormant and active. The only way to dissolve the painbody is during its active state. Does that require you to be drug free? Not necessarily. As you found out for yourself, you were able to dissolve the depression in the midst of having had the antidepressant drug in your system. The more you practice presence, which implies acceptance of the form that this moment is taking, the more confident you will feel in yourself in handling old negative emotions. Eventually, you will be lead to a deeper knowing within yourself that it is time to begin decreasing the antidepressant. However, do not attempt to decrease or stop using a prescription drug (or other addictive chemical drug) without consulting your doctor.
Penda68 says, "...you talked about the Dalai Lama's reaction to the Chinese (or really, lack thereof, since he holds no grievance). And I was surprised that you said "what a relief since I am of Chinese descent!" Would you talk about your reaction a little bit, because that would seem to be the ego feeling the relief, but I can't be sure...?"
The relief I felt was in not being held responsible for actions perpetrated by others who happen to be of the same race or nationality as myself. I don't identify with being Chinese, so I don't harbor any feelings of guilt about what the Chinese did in Tibet. But it is always unpleasant when there is a projection of collective blame. The absence of this in the Dalai Lama produced my feelings of relief. Hence my remark, which was also meant to convey a touch of humor.
Drm1983 says, "...I can see clearly that I am not this mind defined "I thought" but at the same time it isn't clear what my true identity is....I'm stuck in no-man's land between knowing what I'm not and not truly knowing what I am. Do you have any advice for going beyond this ‘stalemate'?"
This is wonderful, congratulations! You've realized a fundamental truth: the real you cannot be defined. There is no answer to the second part of your question, "knowing what my true identity is," because there are no words that can possibly describe who you really are. We can say consciousness, stillness, but even those words are only pointers. "The Tao that can be named is not the true Tao", says the ancient Chinese book of wisdom, the Tao Te Ching.
Perhaps your search is for something known, bliss, joy, peace? However, in that very "expectation for something" is the prevention of it from happening. Remember, expectation is mind generated. The real you, therefore the real joy, is beyond the mind. "The peace that passes all understanding," says in the Bible. Therefore, to go beyond the ‘stalemate,' eliminate expectations, even spiritual expectations, from your life and trust the unknown.
Traines writes, "...My question is about resistance. In physics (laws created by the source) force or resistance is the lever of creation. I appreciate your concept of non-resistance and it has changed my life in a matter of a few weeks but now that I have absorbed it, the question has risen to the surface that I cannot ignore. I must ‘resist' or create force, to create positive change..."
We are speaking of two different types of resistance, psychological and physical. The former is what we are concerned with in regards to spiritual growth. The latter is in reference to the law of physics. Probably every physical movement involves some kind of resistance, whereas non-resistance is a state of consciousness.
Christins1 asks, "...how can I ‘be the space' for another's negative talk? I feel like I have nothing to say to anyone anymore. Is this ‘normal'?" Cmbelleau1 also asks, "I work in customer service...I've been able to practice being transparent and not to let the complaining people around me get to me, but practically, what should I say to them?"
As we move beyond the conditioned mind, with its repetitive thinking, it is quite normal to feel that we have nothing to say anymore in certain social situations. But we can learn to become comfortable with "no thought" and feel the joy there is in stillness. Allow words to arise from stillness, rather than the conditioned mind.
Eckhart says, "Complaining is one of the ego's favorite strategies for strengthening itself. Every complaint is a little story the mind makes up that you completely believe in...Some egos that perhaps don't have much else to identify with easily survive on complaining alone." The same egoic structure operates for negative talk, whether it is aloud or only in thought. As Eckhart said last Monday, "the enjoyment of negativity is the painbody. Every painbody is the expression of the universal painbody." By not reacting to the complainer or the painbody, you often bring out the sanity in others. In other words, non-reaction has the power to draw out the unconditioned consciousness in others as opposed to the conditioned. As Eckhart puts it, "Your greatest protection is being conscious." From the unconditioned consciousness that is from stillness, right-action and right-words emerge.
Azmkim writes, "I have spent 8 years of my childhood in the war...yesterday, observing my thought pattern, on every single event in my life when I picture the worst possible scenario is about to happen,...for the first time there was space around the thought...My question is ‘Is it possible to change such an automatic thought pattern that has been created in childhood and acted for so long?'"
The first step towards change is awareness. Well done! You have taken the first and most important step. Change is now inevitable. Remember, it's important not to bring psychological time into this because long standing habits usually have their momentum, and therefore, take time to change. However, continue to shine the light of consciousness on such thought patterns and eventually the old simply melts away.
In closing, I would like to leave you with this quote by Eckhart, "Thinking is no more than a tiny aspect of the totality of consciousness, the totality of who you are."
Be well...be in peace,
Kim Eng
© 2008, Kim Eng
Hello Everyone,
That was an amazing session! This is a significant chapter and phase in our awakening, as we recognize the ego in the form of the roles that we play. I am so grateful that I now have enough awareness to enjoy exposing the ego in me. It can be quite funny to watch. However, it wasn't always like that, of course. I used to be quite the ‘kicker and screamer' as I was undergoing my transformation into spiritual living. That is to say, moving from a strongly identified mind-based sense of self to living a life rooted in spirit. I had a lot of resistance and pain during the initial stages of recognizing my roles and disidentifying from them. I can only reassure you that it gets easier. It is the awareness that frees us from the ego and brings about the arising of a new world (a new earth). As Eckhart puts it, "The world can only change from within."
We are undergoing a transformation. As the caterpillar sheds its shell before transforming into a butterfly, we are peeling back the ego's protective layers that have become our prison and are preventing us from living our true purpose. By becoming, as Eckhart says, "The space for whatever is arising" we begin to dissolve the many faces of the ego. However, as our awareness grows and as we become more conscious of our old conditioning, we may also begin feeling the pain of our past, unconscious actions. Many people fear going through the emotional pain that was created by our unconsciousness, so they resist it which then creates even more pain and suffering. Guilt arises when you identify with past unconsciousness, and this is one way in which the ego may try to return. Yet, there is nothing to fear as we undergo this transformation, "...though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me...," Psalms 23:4. Death, of course, refers to either physical or psychological death (the ego). Once the ego diminishes, we will of course, as Eckhart said last Monday, "find the balance between human and Being."
This is about balancing our functions, roles (human) in society, such as mother, father, wife, husband, doctor, lawyer, cashier clerk, street cleaner, etc., and the dimension of Being which is the God essence in us. Each half which contains a segment of the other, i.e. yin and yang symbol, cannot be separated. When we become separate from human and being, we live out of balance, therefore suffer. Many of us, for thousands of years, have ignored our true essence. That is to say, we had become ignorant of our true self; in so doing we have lived our lives creating misery and suffering in our search for fulfillment and happiness.
Is it then possible to "Be" and still function in society? Smtan04 asked, "...PLEASE HELP WITH AN UNFINISHED QUESTION FROM LAST NIGHT'S WEBINAR....Eckhart was about to answer a very important question that many were waiting to hear....Oprah had asked him how he introduced himself to others without using roles or labels...."
The more we become aware of who we really are, who we are not falls away by itself. The egoic need to see yourself as either superior or inferior towards others is no longer there. Instead of identification with the roles that we play, we attend to our functions of the moment, mother, teacher, lawyer, etc. without making an identity out of them. For example, when I am counseling or teaching others spiritually, my function is that of a teacher, counselor. However, the moment I cease counseling or teaching, I am "nobody." In other words, I'm back to "Being." This doesn't mean that I stop "Being" when I am teaching and counseling. In fact, my function inherently arises out the depth of Being (stillness), which is the true source of all answers.
On many occasions when asked, "What do you do?" I would answer, "I'd prefer not to talk about this right now. I would much rather ‘just be with you.'" Some people obviously felt uncomfortable with this, and there would be an awkward moment of silence. I would then practice "being the space" for the uncomfortableness or silence. One could say, I was practicing being with the unknown and allowing for whatever to arise in the moment. Sometimes it happened that there was then a noticeable sense of relief in the other person, followed by an authentic interaction between two human beings.
Seeker0612 asked, "....I have been explaining to my 5 yr old daughter that her negative thoughts are separate from her, and coming from a place we call the ego. She really seems to get it...she asked me yesterday "mommy, does my ego love me". It was such a sweet question, and I want to answer it correctly, and age appropriately. Any guidance would be appreciated..."
If your daughter has an understanding of the term ‘ego,' I would suggest you may try saying something like this: "Honey, the ego is not the real you, so how can the ego truly love you? Only the ‘real' you can truly love you."
Sdf926 asks for clarification on "Collective Grievances" (pg 65, ANE) and Botokx has similar questions that are related to our current time, grievances with the situation between Tibet and China, the collapse of the Soviet Union.
Passive resistance or non-resistance is based on the recognition that no problem can be solved on the level of consciousness that created the problem in the first place (I believe Carl Jung said that).
The collapse of Soviet communism happened from within, not through an outside force (which would have kept it alive much longer). As Eckhart points out in A New Earth, it was the collapse of a collective egoic mind structure, a monolithic thought form that people no longer believed in.
As long as a grievance is held in the mind (personal or collective), the ego remains in place and the cycle of conflict continues. If grievances are relinquished, the unconscious cycle is broken. But, as Eckhart points out, they can only be relinquished if you recognize unconsciousness for what it is rather than make it into somebody's identity. When watching an interview with the Dalai Lama I was amazed to see that he holds no grievance towards the Chinese. (What a relief because I am of Chinese descent!). In my view, if Tibetan monks continue practicing mindfulness and meditation, there is a good chance that real change will come about. I recently read that already there is a small but increasing number of Chinese people who travel to Tibet for spiritual guidance. Tibet has the potential of being the place where a spiritual rebirth of China begins.
Perhaps non-resistance is not the answer in each and every case. I don't know. But I do know this: if you feel that you have to fight for a cause, fight with peace in your heart.
Jam828 asks, "how do you deal with family members especially if you don't want to participate in old egoic patterns of relating but want to spend time with them?... how do I protect my children from unconsciousness?"
I love the saying of Ram Das, "If you think you are so enlightened, go spend a week with your parents." Are you rooted enough in awareness so that you do not participate in the old egoic patterns? When you are the awareness, you are the space for unconditional love and acceptance even for unconscious family members. Eckhart said something like this: "Allow others to be where they are. Do not demand that a person change. Change does not come about in others by trying to get them to change. Give the other person complete acceptance."
How are we to protect our children from unconsciousness? We cannot fully protect our children from unconscious behavior. However, we can give them the means to deal with unconsciousness in others as well as in themselves. The best way of teaching this is to live it yourself. Your state of consciousness will be their greatest teacher. Oprah had said it in another way: "Children pick up your energy. Energy is the child's language." The words you use to communicate and teach are secondary.
Toni5859 asks for clarification regarding Eckhart's description of "What is commonly called "falling in love" is in most cases an intensification of egoic wanting and needing. You become addicted to another person, or rather to your image of that person. It has nothing to do with true love, which contains no wanting whatsoever." Pg. 88.
Can we agree that real "Love" has no opposite? Can we also agree that the term "falling in love" has its reverse that is "falling out of love"? When the ego thinks of love, there is a need, unconscious of course, for the other person to complete who I am or rather who I think I am. In other words, what I perceive to be lacking in myself, I need you to fulfill.
I could best answer by relating my own personal experience. Prior to entering into a relationship with Eckhart, I was single and feeling happy and conscious. I had often heard that Life gives you exactly what you need to awaken. And for me, a relationship is what I needed to awaken even more. Because shortly after entering into the relationship with Eckhart, I became aware of all my expectations of what a relationship "should look and be like." At first, I tried to place those expectations onto him, as well as myself, internally demanding that they be fulfilled. Suddenly, I realized that I was not having a real relationship. Rather, I was having a "relationship with an idea" in my head.
With the concept of "relationship" come expectations, memories of past relationships, and further personally and culturally conditioned mental concepts of what a relationship should be. I had learnt that with each idea, expectation, I had about a "relationship," I suffered. When I became free of my ideas of relationship, there was peace. A sense of lightness began to flow within the relationship and within myself. Finally, deep within myself, I understood that there are no relationships. There is only the present moment, and in the moment there is only relating. This, I would say, is true love, true relationship.
If you would like to read more about true love and relationships, go to eckharttolle.com, click on news, click on interviews, scroll to "Relationships - True Love and the Transcendence of Duality." This is an article I wrote based on an interview with Eckhart.
Last Monday's session, Eckhart said, "Dogs are more connected with Being." Therefore, in closing, I leave you with these words taken from a cartoon: two boys and a dog are lying on the grass, daydreaming. One boy says, "I think I'm going to be a doctor when I grow up." The other boy says, "I think I'm going to be an astronaut." The dog says, "I think I'm going to be a dog."
Be well...be in peace,
Kim Eng
© 2008, Kim Eng
Hello Everyone,
I was once again astonished by Monday's night class on the ego. After ten years of attending almost every teaching session of Eckhart's, I was yet again surprised by his explanation of the ego, what it is and how it operates. His words help us understand the workings of the egoic mind, so that it can no longer trick us into identifying with it. As you may know for yourself, the ego is clever and cunning. A considerable degree of awareness is required so that we can recognize the ego, not only in others but also in ourselves. The awareness of course does not consist of words, but emanates from the stillness behind the words. Eckhart's answer to Oprah's question at the beginning of the evening, "If we are not our thoughts, then who are we?" was: "There is no conceptual answer to who we are beyond our thoughts...we are the formless consciousness..."
That awareness of the formless consciousness is what we may call ‘awareness being aware of itself.' In other words, we are now not only conscious of thoughts and sense perceptions, but we are also conscious of being conscious. We then sense the great mystery within and live life unencumbered by definitions. That is what Eckhart calls, "formless consciousness," and that is true inner peace.
This may appear esoteric or confusing only if you try to understand it through the thinking mind; which is of course impossible. This is why the essence of Zen is realized, as they say, through "No mind." Only through stillness, the gap between thoughts, can you discover the eternal formless dimension - God within. Every thought that you completely believe in (i.e. identify with) will lead you away from that dimension of depth within yourself. As Eckhart says, "existence means to stand out." Every thought form "stands out," calls for attention, says, ‘look at me!' And of course, the temptation is to give our whole attention to the form. When our attention is fixated only on the form and none on the formless dimension of consciousness, we loose touch with being, our true essence. For those who are comfortable with theistic terms, we could say that we have separated ourselves from God or have "placed other gods before God." The moment separation from God happens, unhappiness and suffering arise.
Unhappiness keeps you asleep, spiritually speaking, but eventually a point is reached where it has the opposite effect: it will begin to wake you up. Any form of suffering will either draw you more deeply into unconsciousness or it will make you conscious.
Smtan04 wrote, "Eckhart suggested that we make friends with the present moment.
What if you are being physically assaulted or violated? For example, a woman at a domestic violence shelter asked me, ‘How can I be friends with the present moment the very moment I am being raped or abused by my partner?'"
In other words: how can we make friends with the present moment in the midst of violence? The expression making friends with the present moment means to come into alignment internally with the now instead of putting up psychological resistance, which the thinking mind does habitually. It often happens that, if the present moment is truly threatening, the thinking mind actually ceases by itself and something else takes over: either an instinctive reaction (fight or flight) or even a state of heightened alertness (presence) that causes you to take appropriate action. For example, there are many reports by people who experienced this in war situations, or just before an accident was about to occur. So I would say, in any true emergency situation one of three things will happen: instinct takes over, presence takes over, or you are paralyzed by fear. If you practice being present in everyday life (make friends with the present moment), it is more likely that presence will take over in an emergency. It is also likely that you will find yourself walking out of situations or relationships that are potentially violent.
Occasionally, people have had an out of the body experience during a violent act. They experienced watching their bodies being attacked, but felt detached from what was happening. That is to say, they felt that their essence was not the body. Sometimes, this resulted in a shift in consciousness and disidentification from the physical form (body) as well as the psychological form (ego).
Crdodson remarks, "Practicing presence is helpful, but often an incredible emotional pain washes over me. I can step out of it, but it returns..."
If you are aware of the painbody (old accumulated emotional wounds) as it is coming on, you are not completely unconscious. The painbody cannot survive for long in the light of intense presence. It undergoes a transmutation. This is the meaning of the term "refiner's fire" and "transmuting base metal into gold." On the other hand, if there is no awareness of the painbody, you become identified with it, that is to say unconscious, spiritually speaking. Some years ago, occasionally I would have a painbody attack. Although I had some awareness of it approaching; it wasn't enough to transmute the old emotion. Then Eckhart would tell me, "The only thing left to do is to ride it out." And sure enough, the painbody went back into its dormant state; until the next time. As awareness increases, the painbody begins to dissolve. There is no way we can know when this will happen, just as we don't know when we will fully awaken. As the saying goes, ‘the apple falls from the tree when it's ready.' Have faith. Trust in the process. The evolution of human consciousness is happening whether we peacefully go along with it, or even if we resist it. In the latter case, suffering becomes your teacher. Some people have to be dragged into the kingdom of heaven kicking and screaming.
What happened to Joycebro65 was very important. She became aware of a negative thought and didn't believe in it. She didn't go there, didn't get drawn in by the thought. What really matters is this arising of awareness. Congratulations. I am very happy for you. Whether or not you chose this is of secondary importance and is only a question of perspective. Eckhart said something like this: when it looks to you as if you are choosing to be present, what is happening is that presence has chosen to manifest through you. And yet the perspective that you can choose to be present is more helpful than the one that says, ‘there is nothing that I can do.'
Tkdonovan writes about feelings of guilt. "If you've done things in your life that you knew at the time you had the power to do differently and have caused others pain, how do you just erase those guilty emotions?.... Are you supposed to go make amends when you awaken? Or do you just forgive yourself and move on?"
The cause of suffering that humans inflict on each other (and on themselves) is unconsciousness. Unconsciousness is identification with form (ego) and an illusory sense of separation from others and even from yourself. Whatever you did or failed to do in the past was a reflection of your degree of unconsciousness. The ego loves guilt because it gives you a strong sense of identity. But an identity derived from unconscious actions in the past is illusory. We could say that forgiveness is to recognize evil for what it is: a reflection of human unconsciousness. When you recognize this, you forgive, that is to say, as Eckhart puts it, "You don't make an identity for yourself (guilt) or others (blame) out of the dysfunction of the ego. And so compassion arises and you forgive yourself and others. Jesus words on the cross say it all: "Forgive them for they know not what they do." Eckhart says that if Jesus had spoken these words in our time he would have said, "...for they are unconscious." And then instead of contributing to the unconscious suffering, you heal people in situations by your very presence.
In closing I would like to leave you with some words that Eckhart said at last Monday's session with Oprah... "The Now is the hidden exit out of the ego."
Be well...be in peace,
Kim Eng
© 2008, Kim Eng
Hello Everyone!
Well done to Oprah and Eckhart for another great session! I loved how the gathering opened with ten seconds of silence. It has been my spiritual practice, through years of observing Eckhart, to begin and end every new event or situation (whether it is getting in my car, speaking on the telephone, running my next errand) with a space for inner silence, ten, thirty or sixty seconds of bringing attention inward to feel the breath and inner body. This enables me to sense the stillness, my inner connection to God. That connection to the divine spirit prepares me for authentic, spontaneous, right action. It is a way to let go of the remaining energy of the previous moment, but most importantly, it honors God, the space in which all forms arise and dissolve. And as Oprah asked Eckhart last night, "How do you honor something?" Said Eckhart, "By giving it your full attention..."
Our primary purpose in life is to honor God. That is giving our attention both in listening and acting from a God-centered state. Then our secondary purpose in life is everything else, work, career, family, friends, etc. In the words of Jesus, "Seek first the kingdom of God/heaven, then all things shall be added to you." I can only say for myself that this statement is true. Many times I have been in a state of presence, of devotion and reverence, while in the next moment, my primary attention got drawn elsewhere - into money, things, thoughts, emotions. Suddenly I would find myself in suffering again, inner hell. I began to learn to use suffering as my alarm clock, my wake-up call to return to present moment awareness, to inner peace, to being one with the essence of who I am.
This waking-up and falling back to sleep, spiritual sleep, brings me to a statement from one writer on this Blog. Davlaw said, "I have one comment and it is not meant to be confrontational. You stated that most people should not expect a sudden awakening like Eckhart did, but rather a gradual awakening over time. ...I wonder if the gradual approach reaches that type of profound place at its conclusion. The gradual approach may take a lifetime...while a sudden awakening can happen in the span of a day. It is not surprising that the shorter path would be preferred."
I would say that "preferences" are generated from the conditioned mind, likes, dislikes, and so forth. And the mind is always in search for something other than what is happening in the present moment. "A lifetime" is a mental concept. Concepts are thoughts. They have no ultimate reality outside our thinking. In reality, that is to say in absolute terms, there is only now. So we can only ever awaken now. Gradual awakening consist of many small awakenings, but ultimately each awakening can only happen now. No one knows when their awakening will be completed. Can it ever be complete? When Oprah asked Eckhart, last night, "Are you completely free of ego?" He replied, "All it means is that I am no longer identified with thoughts. I don't think in terms of ‘I'm free of ego.' That would be ego again."
Aldina3 asked, "...was the fear caused by the ego, or by the brain reacting to something unknown?
There are two types of fear, psychological and real. The latter type of fear happens in the moment and is usually short lived and rare, for example a bear chasing after you. There may be fear, but you don't have time to think "I am afraid." Instead, you take action. In other words, you are more than likely to "run", without thinking. The far more common and distressing type of fear, the psychological one, is created by identifying with your fear-based thoughts. Those habitual thoughts that tell you, "What if..., I can never..., will I be good enough..., what's going to happen..., etc." All of which is the ego. However, when you are rooted in stillness, you are free of fear. When you are fully in the present moment, accepting what is, there is no fear. You are not afraid of the unknown anymore. It is the ego in you that is afraid of the unknown. The fear of the unknown is the mind, or ego's, projection.
Sumanjoshi asks, "Why are we concerned about our human species survival as a form, if we are not the form?
Having "concern" is to care about humanity's existence. That deep caring is love. Love is the recognition of the formless within the form, the eternal within the impermanent. We honor the form because we love the formless within it. Because we honor the form, we are concerned. Because we recognize the formless within the form, we are not afraid of loosing the form.
Mlamarre asks, "Why is God called consciousness? Presence for Spirit? Clarify."
Whatever word we use to point to that infinite reality is going to be inadequate. "The Tao that can be named is not the true Tao", says the ancient Chinese book of wisdom, the Tao Te Ching. Eckhart rarely uses the word God because over the centuries many misinterpretations have accumulated around that word and it has become a closed concept. (A mental idol, as he calls it). Being, consciousness, or presence are open concepts and therefore work more effectively as pointers towards That which cannot be named. Consciousness, as Eckhart uses the word, could be described as "the light that emanates from the unmanifested, the eternal source of all life." That light is the essence of who you are. Jesus already pointed to that when he said, "You are the light of the world." Spiritual awakening is being aware of the light of consciousness within you.
As regards words, I liked what Oprah said last night, which went something like this; "When you believe the word is the reality, the world looses its magic." How divine is that!!!
In closing, I would like to thank all the people who have contributed questions and comments, which made for a truly inspiring reading. It is amazing to see the awakening process happening to so many people. My heartfelt thanks to everybody!
I would like to leave you with something that Eckhart said at last night's session, "The Now is the foundation for the rest of your life."
And this moment is your life!!
Be well...be in peace,
Kim Eng
Hello Everyone!!
Wow! That was an incredible session the other night, Monday March 3. I love that so many spirits/people were gathered together, at one moment in time, around the globe. On an energetic and unseen level, every person had connected their thread of consciousness to the whole, thus weaving a band of possibility for a shift into a higher consciousness for the planet. In the words of Jesus, "when two or more are gathered, I am in their midst." And as Oprah said, "God cannot be contained in a church." We are the one consciousness, communicating, first through stillness, secondly through words, to eventually create heaven, which is peace, on earth. But, as Eckhart said, "it all begins with the individual."
We are awakening now. How do I know that? Because you logged in for that first session with Oprah and Eckhart. People have often expressed to me their desire to awaken just as Eckhart had in one swift night. I can only tell you, for most of us, it doesn't happen that way. For most people it is a gradual awakening. There is nothing wrong with gradual, only the mind will tell you otherwise, as the mind is never satisfied with what is. Accept the present moment fully and you are awake. As soon as you identify again with every thought that arises, you have gone back to sleep, spiritually speaking. The underlying awareness, the I Am that is deeper than your thoughts, has become covered up.
For those of you who are not familiar with my background. I am Eckhart's partner in life and in work, taking his teaching around the world. My role has been and to some extent still is one of "behind the scene support." However, as awareness has grown, I have also begun to do spiritual counseling and teaching. To put it more accurately, it is the awareness that does the counseling and teaching, not the person called Kim.
Many profound spiritual experiences have been part of my awakening. I would like to briefly tell you about one such experience, which happened during one of my annual trips in India. I was staying in a town at the foot of the holy mountain Arunachala in South East India, and I would often spend my mornings meditating in a small cave half way up the mountain. One morning, as I was meditating, I heard an inner voice (which felt very different from the usual thoughts that would go through my head) saying to me, "There are two things that you need to do when you return home. One, do not go back to the work you are doing. Two, you are to move out of the place where you live." Then, poof...the voice was gone! When I got home two months later, I had almost forgotten about the voice. Shortly after my return, my employer called and asked me to come back to work. (They wanted to renew my contract, which had expired). Suddenly, I was surprised to hear myself say, "No thank you. I won't be coming back." It felt as if I was watching myself from some other dimension. Then the memory of what I had experienced in the cave came rushing back to me. Over the following month, I was like an outside observer, watching myself go through the motions of packing and moving boxes, furniture and other household items. Since I had no idea where I would move to, occasionally fear arose. After I moved out, I found myself with very little money, no job and no home. Friends of mine put me up temporarily. Then one day, out of the blue, Eckhart (whose book The Power of Now had just been published) asked me to help him with his work. In that moment, I realized why I had to leave my home and job. I was being called to trust and live my life in God. I had to leave my past behind and trust in the unknown. I had to be ready and open for a totally new life situation. I remembered that Jesus had said something like, "Do not worry what you shall eat, what you shall wear, even what you shall say, for in the moment that you need them, it shall be given."
Prior and after this experience, I had many others. However, I now know that no experience in itself is all that important. The experience comes and goes. In the past, I sometimes tried to hold on to such an experience and even make it into part of my identity. I now know that the experiences themselves are not ultimately what matters. What is it then that is ultimately important? Present moment awareness. That is the inner space out of which all experiences come and into which they return. As Eckhart puts it, "You are not what happens, but the space in which it happens."
Knowing yourself as that space is inner peace.
Be well...be in peace,
Kim Eng
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