Dear Diary,

It has been a month since the little bird flew from the nest. Yes I did behave very badly. I tried not to send her text messages first, but then the gaps between communication seemed so long that I would relent and become a bit sulky asking why the lengthy delays in communication.

Aren't mothers and daughters supposed to be best friends? I was so close to my mother that I expected a bit of the same from my daughter. She is animal crazy, loves her home and family. Her new love has superceded all of that. She is busy elsewhere.

The first month of being away from home has been a roller coaster for me, especially as the "mother" has to butt out. After 21 years of home life she is off to greener pastures.

Eventually one night I couldn't stand my weeping and moping any longer. I needed to stop being the baby and act the parent. I asked my colleagues at work for advice and they told me all the expected answers:

1) She is an adult now

2) She does not need you now, she is spreading her wings

3) Do not be an interfering parent, your work is done

4) Give it time, she will be back

Hmm, No 4 is the one I have a problem with. She will be back, but under different circumstances. She will not doss down in her room without her partner. She is not a little girl and the dynamics of her life has changed. Her partner is not my son-in-law, but they are an item. What do I call him, and how does he address me? Will I ever get to share confidences with her again, and share our own jokes about life and its ups and downs. Will she hug me with genuine affection, or is there a new wall between us?

I felt that the entire situation was controlling me. Not my style, and my mother would have put me in my place. Stop dwelling on things I cannot change. Plan B: Ask the Angels to help me from brooding over my loss of my girl child.

I placed my book of Angel Advice under my pillow. This may seem a bit silly, but remember I have a home full of men who can only guess at what is going on in my mind.

The next morning the message was clear. Give her the freedom she requires. Set her free of the whims of a mother. I am a person in my own right, and I had a life before she was born.

I have younger colleagues at work and I really enjoy their company and outlook on life. My daughter will get back to me when she is ready.

The change is already apparent. I told her not to rush home, she was not missing anything. We are all fine and it is business as usual.

Maybe she detected a change in my tone of voice, or acceptance that she has left, albeit in another part of town, though not from my heart.

Her tone is softening, and her longing is more apparent. I am calmer and less stressed. I am the mother, she is still my child.

I have set her free, if she comes back, she is mine forever. Different, yet the same.

Take care,

Love from Eve