I wasn't sure how to word my blog topic today. We have had a terribly sad event in "Paradise" this week, a death of a child. Any parent who has suffered such a loss is tested beyond the capacity and endurance of love and what it means to be able to love when it hurts so much. When my husband and I decided to get married we met an elderly priest (now passed) who agreed to perform the ceremony. We attended his sermons on many a Sunday after that and were amazed at his depth of perception and wisdom about life and the chances we take on a daily basis. Indeed after every sermon his congregation would sit both in tears and yet buoyed up full of hope and love that everything is for a reason. On one particular Sunday he told the story of a family who had lost a precious child to illness. In their distraught state they questioned the love of God and if so why bad things could happen to make us wonder why life was even worth living. His reply was "to love is to hurt". It does not help to put ourselves into a box and shut off all emotions. We have to take a chance of love. There is no-one immune to pain and suffering and death is a fact of life. He reminded us that life is a daily challenge and love is what makes us get through the day. So many people lose out on life because they are afraid to take a chance on love. Life is happening as we speak, so enjoy every moment of it with people who can be loving and caring, and that teaspoon of sugar will make you feel infinitely better. I will be attending this young man's funeral on Tuesday. He was 12 years old, hardly you might say a young man, but in my eyes he earned the title because of his extreme bravery and the wonderful years he gave his family whilst growing up. I am hoping in the years to come his memory lives on as that is indeed a way of honouring his life.

On the flip side of this sad story there are two remaining young adult children in the bereaved family. I know that this particular family who are secure and loving will take strength from each other and remember to also honour the living. I often questioned why in years gone by the senior generation to mine seemed dour and unable to show emotion and a softer side. So often when on their deathbed they express their love for family members and ask for forgiveness for not displaying their true feelings of deep love for them when opportunities were there.

I watched a movie the other night that partly clarified why this happened. Before the advent of modern medicine, life expectancy was not much more than age 45. Mothers died in childbirth, children were orphaned and the mortality rate for children and teenagers was high. Indeed an outbreak of influenza spelled death to thousands. Nowadays the life expectancy has risen to 70+ and infant and childhood mortality has dropped considerably in Firstworld countries. So gloriously we can now express love towards our children, and live without the constant fear we may lose them to some unexpected epidemic or outbreak of a common disease that kept populations down in the past. The particular mother in the movie I was watching was accused by her grown-up daughter of not showing any emotions, of not wishing to be touched or hugged, and instead of being a good parent she was feared by her children. She explained that she never cried when her two youngest children died, and merely decided she would turn her numbness into strength. That meant no tears, and not showing any emotions. By shutting off that part of her, she forgot to love her living children. That strength was in fact a weakness, and over the growing years she became insensitive to those around her, believing she was a stronger person for dealing with life issues in a decisive and emotionless manner. Intense discipline can however become a tight knot in our stomachs and our hearts can turn to stone.

I have spoken to surviving siblings who vehemently stress that the child who had died seemed to take priority in the mind of the parents. Whilst honouring the dead child who suddenly became saintly, the living children stood in the shadow of his or her memories. Thus, if a favorite flower is picked, remember to take care of the remaining flowers. The garden needs nurturing to continue to blossom and grow. It cannot do so without love. Take a chance on love today and show your love to those that matter to you. Hug the child in all of us! Our loved ones who are taken from us prematurely are already in a another garden most lovingly prepared for us all one day.

And so dear friends, my thought for the day is this:

" TAKE A CHANCE ON LOVE - IT WILL REAP DIVIDENDS!"

Love from Eve in "Paradise"