It's a bit of a blue week in "Paradise". Firstly a wave of misery- struck humanity has encamped themselves on the ocean's edge due to criminals who hide behind the term "xenophobia" to bully fellow Africans into believing they are a menace and unwelcome in the "Rainbow Nation". Men women and children are now homeless and distraught because of the warped opinions of citizens of this country who acted on jealousy and greed to terrorise these people into believing they should leave. As the world is, I believe, mostly inhabited by good people, there is a mass of sympathy and support for the victims, both by the government and the man in the street.

I am upset because these good people are no different to anyone else, except that they built up businesses and managed to eke out a living in a harsh world where we all start with nothing and die with even less. Unfortunately there are always going to be people who act on differences, whether it be looks, popularity, brains or simply one's birthright. What is birthright? Simply rules made by civilised communities. Unfortunately that right is misused. We all have a right to be born, be safe and happy and live in a non-judgemental society where everyone belongs. An uncivilised society does not have law and order. When laws are made and not upheld we are going backwards. If I could rule the world, (haha), there would be a law against discrimination of any kind. Of course laws are supposed to uphold a basic human right, in theory but in practise, we all operate under our own set of laws. If a person dares to be different, he or she is immediately sidelined. The "fear of rejection" is the key to conformity. Conformity is an unwritten law and it exists!

I am celebrating another year of life this week. Unfortunately I am not partial to switching into an over the top party mood, in fact my birthday always makes me a bit depressed. I think back to happier times, when my family was bigger and my mother was alive. I have been missing her more that any other time of the year. We have been so incredibly busy too and as a result more accident prone. I injured my nose after tripping on some steps on Sunday evening whilst finishing a day's chores and that was the last straw. On Monday I went to work feeling very self-conscious, but the show had to go on. Everything mechanical is breaking down in the house, all part of a topsy turvy week, where all I can think of are those poor displaced families. My life is easier, but again, how easy it is to become the brunt of hatred and ostracism.

We are supposed to celebrate life and be thankful for what we've got, but there is something missing. If we could truly celebrate our differences all the time in a true and meaningful way, then life for everyone could be a party. Oh well, I'll have a pretend party in "Paradise" and everyone is welcome. Enjoy life! Love from Eve

Oh heavens two mornings without water. We are early risers and I usually have the bathroom shift in the morning. Today to my horror we were only able to use whatever remained from the kettle for our ablutions. Apparently the water pumps at a local reservoir were affected by lightining during a thunderstorm at lunchtime two days ago. You'd think we'd learned by the first cut off and kept a bucket of water for emergencies. Of course the water would be restored later in the day, but after the working deadlines have passed. I was in a bit of a flurry as I needed to be presentable for the shift day at my new firm. My daughter sympathised with my panic and managed to fill a half a bucket of water from the hot taps and I actually managed quite well. It's amazing how much water is wasted and we are constantly advised to use it sparingly. I did not feel too bad because I had it relatively easy compared to the homeless who have to steal water or those who do not have water on tap. For just once I felt a fraction of the discomfort those poor folks endure every day in an effort to make their way into a difficult world further complicated by extreme poverty.

And to make matters worse we have a huge problem with refugees pouring into this country and now being the target of xenopohbic attacks. Bad enough that they are forced to leave their homes and flee their home country, because of political unrest but then they are facing further ostracism and murder in a new country. I am so saddened because the locals are also fearing for their jobs and livelihoods and are unwilling to share with somebody who may just be better than them and work for much less reward. It's a trait of humans not to see the bigger picture. Nobody should ever worry about someone stealing their job as bosses will only employ the best. Unfortunately the employers keep a tight rein on the number they are prepared to employ. I have often found that once I secured a position in a firm, how everyone seemed to be overworked and underpaid. If it is so difficult to find a good job, why then the shortage of staff. If the company is making profits it is surely better to make sure that the employees are not worked to death and made to feel guilty for taking sick leave and annual leave. If a boss was clever he would employ more people and make sure that everyone got a slice of the pie. Sorry for the food reference, but that is what it is all about after all. Share the jobs more, pay equally and prevent the crisis that has developed because of greed and insecurity about one's true worth.

And as I discovered this morning, we can manage on less if we are forced to through circumstances we cannot control. Why not do it anyway. There is enough food and resources for all on this planet, we just need a more efficient management. Perhaps we all should go on a survival course in a desert for a couple of weeks. After surviving that, everything else will be easy. If Freegans can survive on what we throw away perhaps we are wasting the resources that could feed a starving nation somewhere. Waste not, want not. Till later, love from Eve

Ok, according to a critic of my last posting that was definitely a partly "urban legend". You apparently can't get a virus from a dead body. Yep, I even thought I was being a bit hasty imparting that story without checking the facts. Somehow though, the story is no less creepy. Apart from a technicality of the disease the girl contracted from the carrier, her life was on the line and thankfully she took a wise decision to get to know this man before risking her safety.

I am wondering if we ever really delve into facts properly before acting on them. Marriages are often quipped about with the "marry in haste, repent at leisure". At least we know what we are letting ourselves in for if we spend some quality time in the company of the prospective beau. It's no good after the fact finding out that you have nothing in common except for the parties and the fun. Marriages are hard work. Suddenly two people need to be in one another's company every single day,and each one wants to offload their problems onto the other. So a willing and sympathetic ear is necessary. One of my friends years ago thought that each person should bring something into the marriage, ie have something to offer. If only one person does all the providing and the other is like the hamster on the outside of the wheel, eventually the endearing qualities that first captivated the spouse may become very tiresome. I believe a marriage should be fluid and move with the times. Never stereotype the roles, fathers can be good daddies, mothers can bring home the bacon. Whatever works actually. I really believe in the sunscreen song, always be able to provide comfortably for yourself and never expect it from someone else. If both spouses are good providers, then at least the money problems will not be an issue. Share everything and there is no need for argument. So why the heading of this blog?

Well my husband is my best friend and the love of my life. He does however have limitations. He is tall, but does not have the muscles of a bodybuilder. My menfolk are all of reasonably tall and slim build. They are articulate and well-mannered. No problem there. But I discovered that my instinctive belief that they would protect us when in trouble was struck a blow when my daughter revealed her abuse at the hands of a respected school teacher. All I wanted was a caveman approach, lol. They needed to beat the tar out of him!! Not. The teacher simply laughed the matter off, until he was asked to resign from the school. In the old days he would have been at the bottom of the pond. Never mind, neighbourhood watch could take care of him. Not. He did not commit any grievous offence. Ah, my faith in the common man took a knock. Have you ever knocked on a door for help and had the bland face stare back at you, saying they couldn't assist you. Well, that's how I felt with the lack of response to what was to me a life blow. My daughter was a shadow of herself and would never be the same again. And the men could do nothing.

Today I looked at a picture of some local men who have formed a security patrol and I actually saw what they really were for the first time. They were not brave, they were not heroes.They were ordinary people, slightly overweight and not young. I felt a twinge of disappointment, at the same time our ordeal made sense. Men are only people too, perhaps we give them too much credit for really protecting us. They can be, but not do. A show of force, but nothing too strong. My pain is not your pain.We are alone when it comes to the crunch. The good old days of men protecting us are long gone. Perhaps it started with us refusing to be treated less than equally. So self-defence is not a bad idea after all. Complacency is no excuse. Arm yourselves, as being prepared and not taking chances is the safest option after all. Take care, love from Eve

Ok, I am in my invisible phase. If I step into the moonlight, there may be a pale blue shadow. As I type this, I am trying to describe the kind of week I have had. I am mostly an introverted person, completely forced out of my shell every day to go to work and interact with people. I put my best foot forward, and project my personality with the social skills and etiquette taught over the years, starting from my first days at school. My mother taught me during the early days to do what the other girls do. Later she advised me to follow my own mind. Confusing! Then I discovered astrology and realised that it is in my starsign, Gemini - I can be two people at once. One is the conformist, the other is the opposite "chip on my shoulder". These personalities can emerge depending on where I am. Sometimes I read too much into people's comments and my ego becomes wounded. Other times the chip digs in and I have to use criticism and sarcasm to express what my gut is telling me. Actually my real nature is to be calm and placid, and if allowed to be alone I commune with nature and animals, who by the way seem to appreciate me way more than humans do. They also seek a peaceful uncomplicated life, hassle free from predators and competitors. Once when I was particularly feeling blue early early in my life I confided to my beloved cat and she was so sympathetic, her beautiful eyes stared deeply into my and she conveyed her understanding without words. That's it! The missing link - communication without saying anything.

Animals are so good at this. I have observed their behaviour over the years following this first insight into their emotive connection with one another and I realise how clever they are. Imagine a life where you cannot speak to your caregivers except through a tail wag or twitch and a few coded miaaws or barks. Imagine too how much meaning is put into these few signals of hunger, discomfort or pleasure. And yet the message is always so perfectly simple and clear. They do not have time to make up stories, and there is certainly no hidden agenda resulting in hours of self analysis and comparison. Oh of course the experts will say it is because they do not have the brain power needed to be sentient beings, but anti- cruelty animal activists and animal lovers like myself say otherwise. Just because we do not know something exists does not mean it is not there. We have to accept our own limitations. Just as we cannot imagine another dimension parellel to our own, why can't these precious creatures be more clever than us, so much more evolved in fact that they have learrned quiet acceptance? Isn't that what losing the ego is all about?

Ah, yes, my beautiful rescued collie cross girl is staring at me right now with her "spooky eyes". She is a treasure and my blessed companion who will never judge me nor forsake me. I call that very intuitive and we have a fantastic bond. There is a need to keep it simple, and learn from the animals. My one question is "if animals are the eyes and ears of God, how do human beings score on a scale of compassion and understanding towards life on earth." Ask any animal, the answer is in their reaction to us depending on the feedback from above and a quiet acceptance that theirs is not to question why...dogs even to lay down their lives in the duty of protecting their owners. Thus in that pale moonshadow I offer a prayer to my precious friends who see me as an equal. And that is a privilege indeed. Humility is the key.... love from Eve

We were once advised at a personal safety course to not let paranoia rule, otherwise we would open ourselves to becoming a potential victim. Sadly when I found out the ordeal my daughter was secretly enduring whilst pretending that all was normal in her life, all the little prickles on the back of my neck made sense. Nowadays I feel like a victim of paranoia myself, with very good reason. I panic if her cell phone is turned off, when she is running five minutes late,when the driving instructor is swopped for a complete stranger and takes her into an unknown area. Once when I was a little girl we had two young childminders who rattled some dustbins outside the house and scared me witless about robbers and ghosts. That was not the part that damaged me, but the fact that they cried wolf, and reassured me afterwards that nothing bad was going to happen. I felt guilty at being afraid. Not any more....

And of course, we are brought up to be fearless. If I expressed any misgiving about someone standing at the edge of a cliff, drinking too much, staying out on a cold night without a jumper, I was reassured nothing would happen. Aha.. with hindsight, people are murdered by trusting strangers and even caregivers, they fall down waterfalls never to be seen again, they die in horrendous motorcycles accidents (the head is a pumpkin when it hits the road) and I know a few addicted people who have died young. Even recently I was told that sitting outside in the cold at night meant a tough constitution and that same person the very next morning could not speak because of a sore throat. Yet we still dispense ridiculously useless advice that has the exact opposite effect. Have you noticed how when you mention a chill, or a backache that the pink pills, white medicine and the nasturtium leaves will cure everything. We have a small curative of "wintergreen" for all ailments on the local supermarket shelves. If only life was that simple, and the paranoia was a figment of our imagination.

The other famous habit of enlightened people is the "urban legend". Stories are twisted into "the latest fad" that everyone is doing. People have climbed "pyramids", grown cultures from milk to make fortunes, sold products that clean everything all at once and exercised themselves into the perfect body shape because everyone is doing it. It is all fine until one stops. The money runs out, the culture doesn't work, the body sags. The aeroplane scam meant everybody was flying, and the financial crashes were spectacular. Smoking didn't kill, well at least not in the beginning.......ok, because of my hidden agenda called paranoia, I am a stick in the mud, a sceptic and a party pooper. But at least paranoia keeps my mind agile , my body healthy and my family safe. It is a dangerous world after all. Listen to your inner voice, it will save your life. Take very great care, love from Eve

Life in "Paradise" continued....

The staff in my office have decided that Tuesday fills no useful place in the week. It follows a Monday, is not midweek nor anywhere close to the weekend. If Monday was bad, Tuesday usually doesn't help. We experienced one of the first severe storms of winter last night and everyone complained of a lack of sleep and the fear that their roof would end up in the sea. In fact there were some really unfortunate valley dwellers and homeowners who actually lost their houses to the wind and to fires that sprung up from power cables snapping. It was very eery to hear the wind sweep up and roar through our valley, almost sucking my breath with it, waiting for something to dislodge and take flight. As it was a part of our back fence is gaping as if it's teeth were knocked out , and a tree in our garden is now bare, all the green leaves carpeting the grassy patch normally not fit to be called a lawn after a long dry summer. Ah, the first winter morning with pounding rain and no sign of the morning sun. I embrace this change, (not), soon we will add freezing temperatures to the equation and that really bites! It seems as if winter is a long drag uphill and summer races down the other side.

What else is there to add... my boss is occupying my colleague's office while she is on leave and feels the need to supervise my every move. I kept on wishing that she would leave me in peace as I need to work without interruption at this time of the month. She was constantly asking me to run errands, type letters and look up information, all when I am trying to balance figures and prepare payment schedules. Typically she doesn't have a clue about what I do and feels the need to keep me busy. I was completely irritated by lunchtime but was unable to escape home for lunch. She then asked the cleaning lady to use some stringent chemically based domestic cleaner to wash the walls and doors down outside my office and my poor half healed sinuses recently operated on went into a frenzy. I am an allergy sufferer, not to dust but to chemicals such as perfume and household products which are my downfall, and the reason for the ghastly operation. I am too quiet to cause a scene but was praying that I would not end up back at the doctor, as he is not completely happy with the end-result yet. And thus Tuesday became an incredible challenge. I wanted to simply run away. And when I finally arrived home after work the household looked as if a bomb had hit. A clothing massacre due to a rainy day and no-one bothering to sort and fold. Ugh, family and work do not mix. It is great to see one another and compare the day, but sometimes the music and action competes with the need to just chill.

Tonight is not much better, we are all tired and unsettled from a half-baked week that feels uncomfortable with challenges still to be met, thoughts of another long day tomorrow, what to wear and how possible it is to avoid any of it. So I guess I will get the ironing board out and think up what everyone will wear tomorrow and then call it a day. It is at times like this that I have to take stock and not see the scrappy events of a ratty day, but rather look at the bigger picture. The markers seem distant , but we will continue to persevere with the knowledge that once Wednesday comes, the weekend is only three days away. That is a consolation in itself and the mood will definitely improve from tomorrow! I start a new part-time job on Thursday, on my day-off from my current position and am hoping that this new challenge will go smoothly. Perhaps if it works out I can ease out of the current job, a change is as good as a rest! Enjoy mid-week Wednesday!