We have serious issues in this family, perhaps heredity or maybe just through life experiences. We are all adult and I believe fairly well-adjusted. It seems sometimes however that it truly is a dog-eat-dog world. I will not elaborate because that is one lesson that cannot be taught, one has to experience it to know what I am talking about. For every action there is a further reaction. From our birth, we are intereacting with other people constantly and to survive we have to develop acceptable social norms. What I am trying to describe is how much we adapt to the situation we are currently in, and that does not necessarily mean we are reflecting our true personality and how we are inwardly perceiving life at that particular moment. We all are seeking fulfillment in our lives. That can be through our relationships with people, our lifestyle and our living conditions, in that order. If the relationships fail, the lifestyle is inopportune and our living conditions stifle our spirit, unhappiness follows. Or anti-social behaviour. I learned some terminology through my daughter's psychologist which explained why people behave badly and why we reacted by becoming introverted. I never encountered "bad" people until I started school. I was cocooned in a loving family, and my older brother and I were close. We shared things, played together and our world was full of make-believe and adventure. We teased one another and gave my mother a run for her money, but nothing too serious or devious. School was another story. I was constantly picked out for talking, when in fact I wanted to make friends and communicate about shared life experiences. I can remember being humiliated for being told I would get the prize for talking. When petty theft occurred between classmates, I began to get a whiff of life in the raw, and my defences began to wake up. Most of one's school life is spent hanging out with a crowd where you most fit in, and I used to collect the fringe people. I suppose I must have been one myself, in restrospect. I hate bullies, cheats and brash show offs. I stayed out of trouble once I learned to keep my mouth shut and conform. I became an observer of human behaviour...

But not until recently did I learn the name "sociopath" given to incorrigible people who lie to themselves and others whilst committing atrocities. They are usually clever, attractive and popular. They convince their partners, family and friends that they are above the law. They operate always within the law. Our personal encounter with one was enough to finish off our fragile interaction with the society we are living in, on the other side of "Paradise". Of course, foolish naievity made us perfect material for an opportunist. My son at his young age would calm us down with his practical observation about the curve balls life throw at us. He was sent to a remedial school from the age of eight and I thank God that he never became a target for bullies on his school bus. He seems to be untouchable and has in his quiet way made friends and sailed through many situations involving his schoolmates. My daughter was not so lucky and we were shocked that our quiet lives could be rocked with a scandal simply because she became a victim of an adult who should have known better. I have described all of this in previous blogs. What I learned from all of this, is that we are all still alive despite the ordeal and are grateful to have a second chance. My daughter is studying and is still on track to achieve her dreams.

We have become older and wiser. And in spite of everything we still have each other and a well adjusted outlook on life. How? Because we threw back the problem. By simply telling the story like it was, completely and truthfully, we got our lives back. If anyone should approach us and accuse us of anything they can read the book. I have had people telling me they could not put the book down, and it left them crying. I cringe because that was not the intention. It is actually a success story. The chapter is closed. The person who caused the trouble cannot hurt us, as we have moved on. And in doing so we have got our self-respect back. I watch useless court cases every day crunching to a futile halt, where the criminal is set free because of a lack of reasonable doubt. He then bites the law back in the tail by lodging a counter suit, usually for millions. We took a quieter stand, firm and resolute. Money would not change anything. We did not fuel the fire any further. We know in our hearts that justice will triumph eventually, even if it appears unattainable at present. We just try to stay as young and as involved as ever in our family and our working lives. I still talk too much, stand up for the underdog and analyse everything. I have discovered that the more chance you give to someone to tell their sad story, the more they relax and show a more human side to them. From a sad and drawn face, they open up and bloom. There is beauty in everything, and it starts with our own self-worth. Face value is a perception, and true beauty will surface given the right circumstances. As for the family, our positive synergy is excellent. A treasure beyond wealth.... take care, love from Eve