Life is an adventure one day at a time.....

by eveduval
Description: Blogging is therapy. Oprah taught me to look for one precious sign every day to make the day worthwhile. It works. I will report my findings here. The journals stopped a nervous breakdown last year when in a family crisis. The crisis continues....:(
Posts (171) 1 2 3 ... 12 | Next

A is for Average

Posted on Nov 21, 2009 5:15 AM

If A is for Average, then I apply

Average Intelligence, actual size

Always in the middle,

A little bit little

A part of the adage

of less is more

Abstemious, accountable

agreeable, affable

An A is an A,

First in the Alphabet,

A good way to start

and a good place to stay...

Amazing....

0 Comments
 

The S word, smile, sing, soul search

Posted on Nov 18, 2009 1:10 PM

Summertime is.....................

Summer is in sight though slow

Surrender to the sun and sand

Salute the seasonal shifting

Of the solar system down south

Smile, sing and soul search

Shade your eyes from the solstice

But celebrate the signs of new life

Don't be solely self centered

Spread sweetness and serenity

Shake out the smugness, sweep off sadness

Skyblue splendour signifies worshipping

a symbolic super power -saving Sun

Shining so sublimely on our sapped simplicity

Shipping us from superfluous to serendipity B-)

(Well almost........when the wind stops blowing, I am going to get me some sun)

Take care, love from Eve

0 Comments
 

Two years on, needled, needy and needed

Posted on Nov 5, 2009 1:06 PM

I realised yesterday that I had a special anniversary - I joined Oprah Community two years ago. I have not been able to blog at all for over a month due to a health problem that required acupuncture, and the episode has left me unable to sit still or lie down for long. It puts a perspective on one's life, to be reliant on a weekly physiotherapy session which leaves one more sore after treatment. Thankfully I am getting a good night's sleep and my privileges back. I was still able to go to work, and thus the discomfort only put paid to my more sedentary activities. The pain of a pinched nerve is overwhelming and any little pinched reminder now puts my mind in a spin that it may return, thus my blog tonight will be brief.

My family at home has been reduced to the menfolk, a husband, son and father. They are great, and I am fortunate to enjoy their company. We do have the dogs and the cat in my Avatar to make us less than smug. They are childlike and for this I am thankful. I am needed. I am of course needy because my daughter is away from home. It it not easy to describe, because like the book says, we all need our space and must not cling to one another. I do cling to my imaginings. I am not needy, I am not needed, but one thing I do know is about needles.

They are gently invasive and if used correctly they can heal, and soothe. Incorrectly used, they cause dependency, pain and deep internal suffering.

Needless to say, this too shall pass.

Take care, love from Eve

0 Comments
 

I did not spew the tears so much this week

Posted on Oct 1, 2009 3:27 PM


Dear Diary,

It has been a month since the little bird flew from the nest. Yes I did behave very badly. I tried not to send her text messages first, but then the gaps between communication seemed so long that I would relent and become a bit sulky asking why the lengthy delays in communication.

Aren't mothers and daughters supposed to be best friends? I was so close to my mother that I expected a bit of the same from my daughter. She is animal crazy, loves her home and family. Her new love has superceded all of that. She is busy elsewhere.

The first month of being away from home has been a roller coaster for me, especially as the "mother" has to butt out. After 21 years of home life she is off to greener pastures.

Eventually one night I couldn't stand my weeping and moping any longer. I needed to stop being the baby and act the parent. I asked my colleagues at work for advice and they told me all the expected answers:

1) She is an adult now

2) She does not need you now, she is spreading her wings

3) Do not be an interfering parent, your work is done

4) Give it time, she will be back

Hmm, No 4 is the one I have a problem with. She will be back, but under different circumstances. She will not doss down in her room without her partner. She is not a little girl and the dynamics of her life has changed. Her partner is not my son-in-law, but they are an item. What do I call him, and how does he address me? Will I ever get to share confidences with her again, and share our own jokes about life and its ups and downs. Will she hug me with genuine affection, or is there a new wall between us?

I felt that the entire situation was controlling me. Not my style, and my mother would have put me in my place. Stop dwelling on things I cannot change. Plan B: Ask the Angels to help me from brooding over my loss of my girl child.

I placed my book of Angel Advice under my pillow. This may seem a bit silly, but remember I have a home full of men who can only guess at what is going on in my mind.

The next morning the message was clear. Give her the freedom she requires. Set her free of the whims of a mother. I am a person in my own right, and I had a life before she was born.

I have younger colleagues at work and I really enjoy their company and outlook on life. My daughter will get back to me when she is ready.

The change is already apparent. I told her not to rush home, she was not missing anything. We are all fine and it is business as usual.

Maybe she detected a change in my tone of voice, or acceptance that she has left, albeit in another part of town, though not from my heart.

Her tone is softening, and her longing is more apparent. I am calmer and less stressed. I am the mother, she is still my child.

I have set her free, if she comes back, she is mine forever. Different, yet the same.

Take care,

Love from Eve

0 Comments
 

Dear Diary, it is time I grew up...

Posted on Sep 15, 2009 2:25 PM

I enjoy being a woman, and especially the nurturing achieving kind. Mostly I am a "stick in the mud doing my duty" kind of person, because when I am being useful I can keep the lid on my darker thoughts. I know that depression is not a word to over use, and it should only apply when there is a treatable condition. I suffer with the more common condition of depression where a devastatingly sad piece of news or a life wrenching movie will throw me off the wire.

It is a delicate balancing act, to be the kind of person we think we should be. I try to go to bed at night with a clear mind with all the "i's" dotted and the "t's" crossed. I have been my own counsellor, because of wise words my mother left me, almost cliched now. Her wise words now are shrugged off by the new generation of "do whatever you want, it is your life". "Let go of the children, they are on loan."

My mother was not entirely right in her wisdom, things she wanted for herself and was denied through lack of opportunities I tried to give my daughter. I am the one in the middle, nobody listens to what I want. If I had been offered the higher education, where would I be now.I feel deserted by both my late mother and my daughter. My mother said a daughter never leaves you, yeah right. I must have been an exceptional daughter (well nobody really knows me, so at least I can give me that pat on the back without being too immodest). My better half and I are family oriented, but for all that there is not much family left to nuture. Hopefully it is only a phase and we will stop working so hard and have some fun ourselves.

I am a sensitive person so this empty nest syndrome is not going down well. I thought my busy life would not let me fall into the trap of feeling lonely and deserted when a child of mine left home. All my frugal training and self denial of the frivolous shopping for me has done me no good. I have spent so much time and energy on a child with poor coping skills that I would have thought her healing would have brought a sense of satisfaction and a readiness to send her to a new life with her partner. The change of life for me could not have come at a worse time....

Dear Diary, this is not a good time for me. I am not behaving admirably. She has gone too soon. There was no period of courting, just the four months and goodbye, see you at Christmas. Now it seems that may not be possible. After all, a new life, love and career needs a lot of work. She does not send me messages and I have to initiate the calls and the emails. She is okay, and I must get a life or counselling according to her. She is lovingly reassuring but very distant.

For me it is should now be the time of slowing down. After so many jump-starts and delays in her life, she seems to have got it right this time. As I pick up the pieces of the life I used to have, it is like an old jersey full of holes. I have lost a part of it and I don't feel like wearing it again. I do not want to repair it or even wash it. I have lost the will to do the things that mattered so much.

We have been through a long winter, and the economy is rattlng everyone. I am not happy for losing the one job that at least made the most sense to me.

Being a mother is not easy, not being needed as a mother is far worse.

I am going to take a few days leave and take some photos of the signs of Spring around me. I hope that my role in life becomes a bit more newly defined soon as this is a transition period I am not enjoying at all. I do not like my mood swings and my grieving for a little bird who has flown the nest.

She deserves every happiness and I am not helping one bit. I am going to grow up now. I still have a houseful of people who are loving, funny and reliable. The sun is going to come out tomorrow and there is always hope of a visit.

Take care,

Love from Eve

0 Comments
 

Mountains or molehills, it's all relative

Posted on Sep 9, 2009 3:16 PM

I am very tired after a looong day at work. It seems after so many years of working that I feel depleted. It was never about enriching myself, just making sure the family was healthy and all their needs were taken care off. The family included myself, husband, two children, my beloved parents and the animals.

My mother died suddenly in January 2003, something that I bottled up. It is in a tight corner of my mind, like the pressure bandage my daughter described keeping the pain of her secret under control. Now that she has left home, I realise she was the pressure bandage keeping the loss of my mother at bay. I miss my mother, and I miss my daughter. There is no female company at home.

I posted a poem on my blog yesterday describing how I realise I must let go. Sometimes the situation of parenting makes little sense to me. Ever since the children were born and adored by myself and the greater family, I have been constantly told to lighten up, give them space, cut the umbilical cord and set them free. I must not worry about them so much. Indeed they are on loan. I have given them all my unconditional love, it has been so easy. The pain is in the parting.

This past week we have had some terrible losses in the valley. Two toddlers succumbed to unnatural deaths, totally unexpected and shocking. There have been some awful road accidents with tragic consequences. I am aware that we are not supposed to take on the troubles of the world, but every sad event leaves me feeling gutted. I know I must let go. Am I the only one who finds it so difficult. I feel terrible angst for the bereavements reported daily.

I can't let go. So I wrote a poem, trying to make sense of what I am feeling. I then posted it on Facebook (privately) to my daughter. I explained that we did not have a big send-off, as moving away with a boyfriend is not like a traditional occasion. I am obviously brought up on the special occasions, let's celebrate, but this leaving was so low-key there was no sense of satisfaction of closure. Nothing. Just a see you at Christmas. Yeah, right, then there will be the tug of love of his family or ours for the Christmas dinner.

I am a quiet person and always doing my best for anyone who might appreciate it. I want to go to bed at night with a clear conscience. I do not want anyone to think that they need to repay me for anything. As a married couple we have pulled our weight equally. No days off for me, I studied in my forties when I realised the career needed rebooting for financial reasons. We have been fortunate enough to be able to get on with our lives with the old adage of "hard work never killed anyone"

Aha, but it has left me old. My daughter replied to the poem and reassured me that she would be back, and nothing was cast in concrete. She threw in a compliment about us being awesome parents. My reply was that she was dealing with a post menopausal mother, and this is what we do when the hormones are out of sync. We write poems and blog to get rid of the pent up emotions.

As I wrote this in the text message the tears welled up. This has been happening a lot lately. It probably has a direct link to her being 1400kms away, and my father even further away in the UK for three weeks. They are enjoying hot weather, welcoming friends and a relief from the daily grind. We are sitting in the middle of a cold spell, and the work load is as intense as ever. Got to love family, it's all relative?

Either the sun will come out tomorrow, or I am off to get some hormone tablets, umm or something to turn off the water tap.

Nobody said it would be easy.

Take care,

Love from Eve

0 Comments
 

Blowing a kiss to the folks at home

Posted on Sep 8, 2009 1:44 PM


Picture a child's first drawing of her home

and marvel at the sense of belonging.

Her little hearts and trees and birds

and the family with animals included.

Those tentative lines and squiggles showed

All that was important on a small straight road

My mother always said these would be the best days of my life?

With the broken sleep, the irregular hours and the disruption

The constant demands for undivided attention

and the fretting for lack of financial retention

In all of the struggles these still were the best of days

with lots of loving and hugging

of security and angst served with a breath of heaven...

Nothing to replace a child's enquiring mind

and those nights shared under the stars

of giggling at sillies relieving the tension

of a future unfolding with questioned apprehension.

When the news was bad we closed the circle

and took refuge in the family bond

that was as strong as iron forged on a fire of love

The beauty of innocence can be destroyed with disappoinment

But from each setback a valuable lesson is learned

Until we can teach the children no more

Then suddenly it is time for them to take a step on the road

further than their parents ever travelled

And thus it is time to let go

All that is taught we now must remember

as they blow a kiss to the folks at home

It is a job well done to accept the leaving

They are not ours, just on loan

The traces of their presence are imprinted on my heart

Gone in the flesh but never truly apart

How could I ever forget such a wonderful start......

Eve

0 Comments
 

The empty nest syndrome is a biggie

Posted on Sep 6, 2009 1:29 PM


I guess that the new phase has begun, the first little bird has flown the nest. She has once again left home this time with a companion and the intention to stay away for a long period of time, and of course when she returns it will be on different terms. She is happy and confident and free.

I had an awful week of angst and stress making sure her finances were in place and some medical cover. It is a big world out there and when one is far from familiar support structures with no idea where to turn a little upfront help is a good idea. Except that the medical aid company wants me to pay a double premium for being her sponsor.

My better half has been so supportive in this past week when I was stressing about not even receiving a text message from her unless I initiated it. She reassured me all is well and she is eating properly etc etc.

My colleagues at work are amazingly supportive and I actually thanked them at the end of the week for putting up with my big blobby antics, which they took with knowing humour and support. I was offered a chance to space out a little or try a new herbal remedy to pep up my mood.

Acually time even though short has already taken off the edge of her leaving. Her beloved animals are calm and accepting. My son is more talkative that usual and my husband and I have been communicating incredibly well.

Her space is difficult to fill, as she is larger than life and lights up a room. She is clever, kind, considerate and intuitive. I felt that she had none of those qualities after she decided to uproot and try a new life in a distant town with her new love. The text messages and short telephone conversations restore some of the loss of her physical presence. If she is okay, then I am okay.

Yesterday evening there was a change in the tension. We were watching The Nanny Diaries and therein I identified all I was going through. The mother was leading off about not hearing from her daughter for a week after leaving home, she was exasperated with her for wasting opportunities that she had sacrificed for etc etc. The script could have been written for us!

It took the pressure out of the situtation. Although it hurts so much, this is what all mothers go through when a child leaves home. It is wrenching and empty because the child is so excited to be making a new beginning. Her animals, familiar surroundings and routine no longer count. I try to reassure the dogs and cat that she is not far away and she will not be away for long. Then I am asking her "is this it?" "have you left home". The non-responsive "maybe if it doesn't work out, I will be back" is not helpful.

I am back into the one day at a time mode. My dear first born son is admirably taking up the gap. We all went out for a trip to the shops and ended up having lunch together, something unusual. He took over the reins when the service was slow. In the place of my daughter who seems to turn heads whenever I am out with her, here was my son charming the waitress and the teller and any young lady we passed by.

Where was he hiding such talent and humour and confidence? Perhaps he was always overshadowed by his sister after all. We are enjoying some quality time with him and I believe it is mutual.

Hmm, my daughter is on her new adventure and we are all going to be okay with it after all. Life is indeed an adventure one day at a time.

Take care, love from Eve

0 Comments
 

I had a very interesting discussion with a muslim friend the other day. The fact we even have discussions is amazing, as I am a westernized female, married and financially enabled (I work for a living lol). He is an amazingly interesting person and his arguments about the problems in the world at large are incredibly perceptive. We have mulled over why a debt should be repaid with interest, why we cannot learn from the mistakes of history, why there is a need for wars and how information in his holy book is repeated in the book I follow and this information already made known sometimes borders on plaigiarism in some student's theses.

I am old enough to be his mother and his discussions are sometimes dictative, sometimes questioning. I admire his need to know what makes our minds tick. He borders on fanaticism for his beliefs and yet somehow doesn't mind if I chide or tease him gently for being almost overly zealous about things we cannot change.

What we do most agree on is the world needs a leader who can overcome the natural greed of man that cannot ever see how this is destroying lives and making no sense to those who wish to live in peace. If we could reach some form of commonality in our beliefs, then we would go a long way to solving some of the incredibly destructive lifestyles of those in power. We could share out all the bountiful gifts of the earth in an ethnic and compassionate, selfless manner, spreading love instead of hate.

Wars start through misinformation. We are so fortunate to live in the age of communication and instant news that spreads around the world like wildfire. One of my interests noted on Facebook is "breaking news", something I inherited from my dear late mother. How she would enjoy the media and the quick access to all corners of the world. She firmly believed all evils and illnesses in the world came from man and mostly from laboratories. Although in a sense she was God -fearing, she did believe however that a lot of the information age was witheld from us until we as a species became more able to understand and utilise such information. It seems as if into each generation a more cleverer or enabled youth is born.

I have mulled this over before, is it because our DNA is programmed to release more intelligence with each generation born. Is that why we roamed the earth in our infancy as cavemen with our only source of power the fire we could burn for protection not so many thousand years ago. How far I wonder are we in the quest to find the answers.

All of this is incredibly fascinating, especially as my muslim friend reassures me that the information we are now discovering was already noted by the muslims centuries ago.

I think that our teens are a very laid back bunch, sleeping in after a long night out and not showing any real urgency about discovering the world and the history that reveals itself if we are prepared to study the subject. Yet if we had a long discussion with them or spent an hour in their company we could find they have much more knowledge of where they are going than we can ever imagine. They have the information age at their fingertips thanks to the internet and the news centres in strategic places around the world.

What we both wondered however is how much time could be saved if we learned from the mistakes that history shows is continually repeated and then how we could move forward so much faster into a period of lasting peace.

It is possible, just as I am able to speak to someone of another culture and we find how much we actually have in common. A deep love for humanity and an incredible sadness when it all goes wrong.

Take care,

love from Eve

0 Comments
 

A girl born to be in a class of her own...

Posted on Aug 25, 2009 4:13 PM

A little girl is born in a rural village and thrives in a terrain where she can take on mountains and arduous expanses of open land to train as an athlete. Her physique is masculine and her voice deep. She is declared female on her birth certificate and is raised as a girl and this is not open to debate except when she competes in girls races.

I am aghast at the reaction of the crowd as she races to the finish ahead of all the other competitors to claim a gold medal recently. That the reaction was hostile to say the least. This was surely a man running in a women's race. Surely those who trained her knew that this would not slip by without objection and debate, and of course gender testing. Somehow she managed to slip through the system.

What is the sum total of all of this? Because gender is taken at face value she is ostracised after so many years of being raised female. A part of me shouts foul, and yet another is struggling with human nature.

Alas, she is now the subject of a huge controversy. She has been welcomed home with a hero's welcome. Political parties are calling those who dispute her gender as racist. Yet somehow, in their own hearts, are they really sure about what their protestations are really about.

When sport becomes ridicule and controversy it is necessary to really look carefully at what the true agenda is. I am so disappointed in the twisting and shouting of our leaders. There is no race issue, just a delicate matter that makes a mockery of sport in the true sense of the meaning.

A little girl has grown into a strong young man, but her birthright entitles her to win a world record against her female competitors. Shouting the odds does not make it any fairer. Nevertheless, she is classified female and nobody has the right to change that, as it would be her decision alone. Even gender testing to decide on her masculinity and eligibility to race will ultimately be unfair.

This is a world where reality shows make the headlines. It is time for the circus to stop as real people are getting hurt. Caster Semenye, I wish you well, and hope this furore will die down. You are an amazing athlete, and in a class of your own.

Hopefully your racing days will flourish after all the controversy has died down.

God bless, love from Eve

0 Comments
 

I am trying to let go graciously once again...

Posted on Aug 20, 2009 4:14 PM

So sad in my little part of Paradise. The news is not good. A young woman of 19 lost her life yesterday whilst walking her dog. A taxi swerved onto the pavement after colliding with a car and knocked her over. The driver of the car is 15, and his victim was only 19. I am so disturbed that I feel completely irritated and out of sorts with the daily grind. In addition to this tradegy, we heard of another fatality to the swine flu, this time very close to home, also a young person.

What is happening to the world, when young people succumb without living their lives fully. My own dear daughter is leaving home again.

I wrote her a letter that I will not give to her. I am so worried about her as she is not fully functional due to her ongoing problem with a major depressive disorder. The letter detailed all the things that make me believe she is not ready to leave home and cope in the real world.

What is the real world? Plenty of work, responsibility, time-tables and the constant round of eating, deciding what to wear, and self assessment of whether or not we got it right. The vicious cycle of needing money and skills in order to survive.

She is back to basics of course. Without love nothing makes any sense, even getting out of bed in the morning is a heavy task. As I reflected on the events of the past week, I cannot deny her the right to be happy. Life is too short.

I want her to accomplish so much for her own self worth. She believes she can do all of this when she leaves home. I could not find a thread on this board to write down my questions about my child leaving home when she appears to be so unprepared.

How do I let go again?? Will she be okay...... She has a devoted partner who is willing to take her away with him to his family and a new job. They are both so young and have very little money. Just the stars in each others eyes and the will to succeed together. I have no right to hold her back.

I am going to pay for all her medical costs while she once again takes a big step into the real world. It is so very hard to know what is right.

I wlll let go again with grace. My own life will not be better for it, but there is the hope she will return, at least I have that.

Take good care, love from Eve

4 Comments
 

It's raining cats and dogs over here.............

Posted on Aug 18, 2009 11:42 AM


Our pet rabbit has taken to her dry bunny hutch. The ground is soggy and muddy. The railways are on strike, the roads are flooded. We thought the worst of winter was over. Not yet..........

It is freezing outside and the cold front is taking almost the whole country hostage, until Thursday at least. We are all staying indoors where possible, waiting for the slow march of the swine flu bug. It is in town, in the schools. Pregnant women and high risk people with chronic condtions are the most likely to become prone to the side effects. The figures are not being made known, except where someone has succumbed to the disease. It is hurting young healthy people too, and that is very alarming and tragic.

I have a chronic condition with asthma, and my father is a diabetic of 77years old. He is embarking on a trip overseas next month and we are hoping for the best. There is little else except to hope that the country is spared the worst of the epidemic threatening our townships where it is hell on earth at this time of the year.

All of this changes in an hour when the sun comes out. Our days are getting longer, and when it stops raining the spring flowers are out everywhere. I had a really special weekend at a Lighthouse where our menfolk made contact with amateur radio enthusiasts all over the world also broadcasting in Lighthouses. I know we can share information on Facebook, and blog to our hearts content with all the marvellous connectivity these days, but there is really something magical standing under the beacon of a Lighthouse at night. The signals that are being sent out over the ocean waves to warn passing ships not to get near to the coastline, and the detail of each Lighthouse being a unique landmark has been an source of comfort to seafarers for hundreds of years.

It is humbling to know that a piece of history is still in working order and undoubtedly still has an important role to play. I have made it my mission to visit as many Lighthouses as I can in the future. In the meantime, our local Lighthouse has a website and we are reading the weather on our doorstep. Our intrepid hobbyists made a large number of contacts who will all receive a calling card from them.

The ancient and the modern can make an interesting blend. It reminds us to take the good and the bad and make the most of it.

Take good care, love from Eve

0 Comments
 

Take the plank out of one's own eyes first....

Posted on Aug 12, 2009 4:41 AM


I was taught many years ago about undying love not separating us from things below nor things above. I was also taught that we must do unto others as we would be done by as strict religious mantra. What we are taught therefore is if we do something that does not match up to someone else's expectations we will be dammed into a pit for the rest of our lives. This pit is a euphemism for ostacism and condemnation.

This is a constant source of angst, when we feel beholden to other people's opinions and reactions to our own actions. So often we are misunderstood, rightly or most often, wrongly.

The ghosts and demons we are taught to fear are usually other people and the words they can use to discredit us with and sew complete mischief into the tapestry of our lives.

Why I am on this topic is because of the misery caused in our lives by a person who should have been a pinnacle of society. His very actions condemmed my daughter into a shadow of herself, shunned and ostracised by her peers and the community and not least of all the school where this man was a teacher.

Not everybody who know the full story took this action. The people with compassionate hearts who too had perhaps witnessed human fallibility or used the lessons of a truly ethical faith, which took nothing and gave all, understood how she had been abused and broken.

Years have passed and we have been cautiously optimistic that the therapy and medication are helping her to mend. She sleeps better than when she was at the university where even after four years, the flashbacks came back and tormented her with a vengeance. She smiles more, and every day even though sleeping for the best part, when awake she would partake in family activities.

No matter that the year started badly, she reassures me she learnt how to socialise with people and make new friends in the three months away from home. Notwithstanding the tablet episode at the unniversity, we believe she is making progress.

Healing is in the form of a new love, a young man who is devoted to her. She quietly explained her ordeal to him and the cause of her pain and loss of standing in the community. If one can truly believe, he is the next best to an Angel, for he takes no pleasure in condemming her ordeal, nor the barbs of his "friends" who can dredge up this story that was played down as much as possible in the early years whilst she was in the recovery phase. Why would one want to carry on the story if not to cause unhappiness to this entire family who have so willingly forgiven the perpetrator and his family and those who do not understand the cirumstances. Do we not deserve to move forward?

I am on the Neighbourhood Watch team, sending out warnings of criminals lurking in the vicinity and caring for the wellbeing of folks who would enjoy spreading gossip about my child and ruining her life further. I am confused with those who would pull up their noses at the "sins" of others that they do not bother to understand nor take action to prevent it happening again. We had a personal attack on our family in what was supposed to be the safest place for her, and yet the recogniseable criminals are the only demons we can fight? People do need to take the plank out of their own eyes before they comment on alleged splinters in others eyes.

Yes, she wrote a book. We have a web-page dedicated to her ordeal. I campaign constantly like a small thistle in the wind for a change in laws to prevent this type of abuse happening to our girls at school and in all walks of life.

This August is Women's Month in my country. My very fearless premier has spoken out against the abuse these girls endure before the age of 20. There is so much more awareness of the huge problem that has largely gone undetected in the bigger picture of a young democracy.

I do not agree with a gender campaign. I do however believe that the demons that walk amongst us are real people, alive and well and with agendas to cause as much mischief as possible. They are not always dressed a vagabonds, they are respectable and intelligent. We need to be vigilant and not take everything at face-value. They can be our leaders, role-models and teachers. Family members can also betray our values.

If I had been taught that in Church, a lot of what happened to my daughter could have been avoided.

There are Angels alive and among us too. We are blessed to have met one. The Healing will continue.

Take care, love from Eve

0 Comments
 

Really in need of a good belly laugh....

Posted on Jul 28, 2009 4:16 PM

Now that's a good tonic. Sometimes I sit at home really craving a good laugh, and the animals always oblige with some silly antic or another. Human interactions do provide the best laughs though and mostly I rely on sitcoms to get the laugh rolling and the tensions lifting from my stomach and breathing out with a wave of relief.

How many times a day do we actually relax and put everything into perspective. Seriously I do not believe enough. I know that by nature I am an optimist, and I often seek out the antics of someone or something entertaining in the background. For example, we are on a farm outing and being told about the eating habits of a horse and how to handle it properly in order to be able to mount the saddle without being kicked off. My wandering mind would spot the tame goat eating the corner of the instructor's tracksuit and then I would be quielty smiling at this distraction with the person wondering if I was some kind of an idiot.

When my daughter was on her way my husband and I were almost hysterical with laughter in the waiting room with remembering and wondering why we were going through all of this a second time around. The stern matron wanted to know if everything was allright, and little did she know how we were psyching ourselves up for another round of "the ordeal". Thankfully that really good laughter made me strong and our little baby arrived in peace and joy.

One day some years later my young daughter had managed to get her science project about "why there was a proliferation of crickets in the suburbs during the summer months" into a science competition at the local university. We were of course thrilled for her and assisted in setting up this humble yet informative presentation alongside some very impressive computer and money aided projects that made us shrink with awe. We ended up separated from the students in the belfry of the auditorium and became bored with the over the top applause at the schools with the most money and status. After weeks of angst whilst my daughter prepared her thesis, we knew she was not even going to get a mention. Therein a couple of pigeons nesting on the top of a ledge became a new interest to us. I pointed this out to my better half and we sat bemused watching the birds popping in and out of a hold in the ceiling. Now that would be a project: how to mend that hole, and in fact how many fledglings had been born and raised in this auditorium whilst all the serious stuff went on below.

I suppose I could be studied for some odd behaviour myself. I am not hyperactive nor attention deficient. What we have managed to do with this kind of behaviour of odd observations, is teach our children to assess more than the situation at hand. I guess we have done a reasonably good job, because now we can sit together and watch crazy men stalking anacondas in South America for research, run outside when an owl settles on the roof, stand quietly in awe when an almost prehistoric bird feeds in our small back garden. We are always on the lookout for unusual sightings. My son is able to win the general knowledge quizzes about life in general because of his enquiring mind.

All of this is because of the quest for something out of the ordinary. With a mind that seeks more than the one-dimensional, there is constant exchange of information in our household. The children actually haven't made us feel old or stupid, so we must be getting something right.

A questioning mind is the door and laughter is the key. A good laugh is like a breeze that can sweep depression out of the corners and keep us alert to simple observations in life that will lift our spirits.

Have fun,

Love from Eve

0 Comments
 

When life throws a curveball, throw it back

Posted on Jul 25, 2009 5:08 AM

Wise words, those. I always favour a happy ending. In fact I pray all the time for the corners to match and the flowers to bloom. No doubt about it, after Winter follows Spring.

We are thankfully enjoying a beautiful winter's day, Saturday 25th July 2009.

We are five months away from Christmas. We have signs of Spring all around us, even if there is a chilly wind blowing from the southern ocean. The Hadeda Ibis's are pairing off and feeding in our rain soaked gardens. This is a piece of heaven, until these loud birds wake us up with their shrill cries of "go awaaaa". One of these birds feeds in our garden with our bemused cat watching. The bird is bigger than her. I suspect the visitor to the garden this year is last year's fledgling who was taught to feed in the soft soil before being abandoned to find it's own way home. Exciting times loom with all the new births pending in nature around us. Even the whales will be giving birth in the sanctuary of our Bay soon.

As for the curveball, wow, it seems as if Michael Jackson has a 25 year old son, for whom he was paying maintenance. Somehow that puts a new perspective on everything. For his younger siblings that is fantastic news. They have an older brother to shield them and lead them on into the new life without Michael. I am thrilled at the news. Let the healing from his passing begin.

Have a lovely weekend.

Eve

2 Comments
 
1 2 3 ... 12 | Next