For all mothers out there who have their children living with them, I hope you realize that being with your children daily
is a tremendous pleasure and privilege that no one should take for
granted. I know from personal experience as I am a non-custodial mom. I
haven't always been in that role, but it is a title I've unfortunately
"owned" these last seven years.

I'd be interested in what
thoughts came to your mind in reading that? Perhaps you have met other
women who are in similar situations. Perhaps you know women who were
drug addicts or had their kids taken away from them due to child
neglect. My situation is none of these. I am an intelligent, loving,
healthy mom who has joint custody of her kids but for whom I feel the
court system didn't serve my children's best interests. My children
live 1,000 miles away from me. Unfortunately, it is a story that is
more often being told in the United States.

My life as a
non-custodial mom has been difficult, full of judgments from all kinds
of people, lonely, and heart-wrenchingly painful for my children. There
have been a lot of tears on all sides during these past seven years.

Being
a non-custodial mom doesn't make me less of a mother. It took me some
years to realize that. Intellectually, I knew it to be so, but
psychologically, I blamed my actions (and inactions) for my
non-custodial state. I lived with regret for awhile, but soon learned
that I could be the best mother I could be by taking care of myself and
forgiving myself for things I did or didn't do.

Upon
reflection, it was the same advice I intellectually gave myself and
didn't follow when I was a custodial mom, always doing everything I
could for my kids, my husband and ignoring my own needs. How many times
do we as mothers put everyone else's needs before our own? I know we
all know the answer to that one!

So rather than get into the details of my story, you are welcome to review it in a series of four posts here I wrote in my blog called, Life Challenges: What Led Me
Here (Parts I-IV). It was a bit long, so I had to break it into 4
parts!

My experience and self-growth has led me to where I am
now: in a position to serve other moms who are facing a similar
situation or who are fearful of losing their children. While I was
going through this, I leaned on a lot of other women who are part of a
non-custodial mother's listserve group on Yahoo that helped me a lot.

Now
it's my turn to give back. If there are any other non-custodial mothers
out there, I'd really love to hear from you. If you're moms who are
blessed to be raising your children by your side everyday, I'd love to
hear from you, too.

Chapter 8: The Discovery of Inner Space

In Chapter 8 of “A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose,”
author Eckhart Tolle explains how we can discover our inner space. That
inner space is realized when one recognizes the enormous empowerment of
four little words of wisdom from an ancient Sufi story, expressed in “This, too, will pass.” The
author uses these words in a story to relate to readers the importance
of finding peace in every situation in our lives by remaining in a
state of detachment.

Consider this: " Nonresistance, nonjudgment and nonattachment are the three aspects of true freedom and enlightened living.” --page 225

When you recognize that “This, too, will pass”
signifies detachment from outcomes and past occurrences, you will find
that inner space. By not judging and not resisting, you gain a better
appreciation of and understanding of that inner space. The realization
comes as a stillness and a space develops between your thoughts. The
space between your thoughts is the discovery of inner space. Peace is
there. That peace is the peace of God.

Can you be still long enough to know that “This too, will pass?”