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If this describes someone you love, you could tell him that, in terms of the research, a psychologist's gender makes little difference in the outcome of therapy. Or you could be a bit more useful. (Even if you don't agree with him, it's his belief that matters—you want him to get help, remember?).
To find out exactly what you can do, we followed up with one of Carey's sources for the article, Ronald F. Levant, EdD, a professor of psychology at the University of Akron, who is recognized as an authority on the psychology of men and masculinity.
As if he wasn't blue-eyed enough, sharp-jawed enough or cut enough (perhaps you too glanced in the open V of his rumpled, unbuttoned shirt in The Hangover?), it also turns out that Bradley Cooper speaks fluent—and very sexy—French.
The recipe comes from Homemade Soda by Andrew Schloss (Storey), a new cookbook on making your own soda and on using soda in sweet and savory dishes. It calls for root beer, along with chili pepper, ginger and soy sauce—which make the wings taste sweet, sour, salty and hot. I could've made my own root beer (the cookbook has an entire chapter on it), but I just bought a can of 365 brand at Whole Foods. I skipped the dried hot chili pepper in favor of a half-teaspoon of dried red pepper flakes because I had a huge container of them at home already. Otherwise, I followed the recipe closely, putting the wings in a pot with the root beer mixture.
"The world is not yet exhausted; let me see something tomorrow which I never saw before." — Samuel Johnson
One hundred years ago today, the world's largest ship, the Titanic, was launched into the dark, cold waters of Belfast. Fourteen years ago, the world's first movie to rake in over a billion dollars, Titanic, was released into the dark, warm theaters of America.
In homage, I planned to break out the DVD and Kleenex. Unfortunately, I don't own the movie and physical video rental stores no longer exist. On YouTube, I thought I'd found a way to bawl quietly and quickly at my desk: The Five-Second Titanic.
The Five-Second Titanic lacks the beauty and mystery of the 1994 regular Titanic. There is a sweep of dreamy music, then a clip of a minor character saying in a fancy English accent, "This ship can't sink." After which, splash, the ship sinks.
I've ruined the joke but not the point: Sometimes, exceptionally complex things in life can be distilled down to a single moment.
A close friend of mine recently told me a story about her old, dear college roommate, Sarah, who didn't come to her mother's funeral. Sarah, my friend told me, had had all kinds of terrible situations with her own mother. Sarah had two kids. Sarah was under a lot of stress at work. Sarah had troubles with intimacy. But Sarah was still a good person and a good friend.
I listened to all this. I groped around for something to say. But what I needed was a video camera in order to tape the 10 minutes that my friend spent talking about Sarah, then cut the footage down to the five seconds during which she said, "Sarah didn't come to my mom's funeral."
Yes, life is complicated and messy. Yes, people do regrettable things for a myriad of understandable reasons. But sometimes five seconds all is we need to tell us what is really going on in a relationship. Then we can spend the next five—or 5,000—seconds figuring out what to do about it.
The Friendship Quiz: Good friend? Bad friend?
Martha Beck on what friends never do
What makes Oprah and Gayle's friendship special?
Like a crisp white oxford or a little black dress, the long-sleeved striped boatneck tee is a timeless staple. Wear it under a blazer or on its own, with chinos, jeans or cropped black pants, and you can't go wrong.
Julia Leach, the former creative director of Kate Spade, has based her entire new line, Chance, on this one iconic piece. Her soft, lightweight cotton versions are simply irresistible.
Chance, $60 each; ChanceCo.com.
Even if you think of your family history as generations of boring, Cheryl Lu-Lien Tan begs you to reconsider. The former Wall Street Journal fashion reporter stumbled upon all kinds of surprises when she went back to Singapore (where she was born) after being laid off. Tan's book, A Tiger in the Kitchen: A Memoir of Food and Family, is a reminder that asking your mom for a recipe can lead to much more than cooking instructions. Tan has three pieces of advice for drawing out the good stuff:
1. Get out of the living room and into the kitchen. Some of Tan's relatives were skeptical about being "interviewed." It wasn't until Tan and her aunts were immersed in, say, filling pork dumplings that the stories began to unfold. That's when Tan heard about the illegal things her family did in the '60s to make extra money.
Seven years ago, when all the lights went off in New York City, I did not assume, as the rest of the world did, that we were dealing with a multistate blackout. I thought we were being attacked by terrorists, who had knocked out the lights so that they could move on to the next phase in their plan. Accordingly, I threw on my flip-flops and grabbed my laptop, my mother's pearls, a jar of peanut butter and my dog, Leonard.
I was panting. The dog was wheezing. I held up my backpack in triumph. We had peanut butter, pearls and a computer to live on!
My husband sighed. "At least we know what you'll take in case of a fire." He, of course, would have taken our social security cards and birth certificates and other practicalities such as his shoebox of high school cassette tapes for which we have no tape player.
It turns out that we are not that unique in our understanding of what's really important. The new site The Burning House documents what people worldwide would grab from their homes in case of a fire. The objects are arranged and photographed, creating surprisingly intimate portraits.
The loveliest are poetic mixes of antique keys and beloved books. But a shockingly huge amount of people included their Mac laptops, passports and pets. Other quirkier items include an antique British maritime crest, a volcanic rock from Mt. Kilimanjaro and a "coconut broke with my head." One practical guy included a cast-iron skillet (presumably to cook food?) and a bottle of musk (to disguise body odor)—apparently confusing running out of a burning house with running out of burning house into a survivalist world without showers or restaurants.
Kids, of course, understand what's really crucial. Six-year old Brody grabbed his Garfield cup, his Lego helicopter, a bumblebee Transformer and a yellow belt (via FlavorPill.com).