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T (1655 posts)
Thursdays Are from Mars: Remembering Gilligan's Island and a Grooming Product You'll Want for Yourself
Men! What are they thinking? We can't always answer that, but we'll be posting our favorite glimpses into their world in this space every Thursday.
* "It hit me that just an ounce of the unexpected can have a tremendous effect—and that a single word can change everything." — From Breaking Bad star Bryan Cranston's Aha! Moment. The AMC show returns for its fourth season on Sunday night. [O magazine; AMC]
* Anyone mourning the passing of Gilligan's Island creator Sherwood Schwartz should read Gilligan's Wake author and GQ writer Tom Carson's remembrance of meeting him unexpectedly at a book signing. [GQ.com]
* Get your man the summer heat-wave survival kit—if only to steal the deodorant for yourself. [Esquire.com]
* Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose. Fans of Friday Night Lights sad to see the show come to an end tomorrow at least have a very thorough oral history to catch up on. [Grantland]
* "My dad looked back at me and said, 'Yes, that's your brother, and you love your brother.'" — Former Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Michael Irvin describes his struggle to come to terms with his older brother's homosexuality. [Out]
A couple of months later, Donna Dannenfelser, Ed.D., a Long Island housewife-turned-therapist, is counseling pro football players in her home while her kids watch TV. The team starts turning things around. Fast forward a decade, and Dr. Donna, as the players call her, is advising high-profile patients and working as a supervising producer on a show based on her career (Necessary Roughness, Wednesdays on USA).
We thought the woman who made that call to the Jets would have some smart advice about the tough situations we sometimes find ourselves dealing with.
Situation 1: The blow off
We've got an awesome idea but the people in charge won't listen--not unlike that Jets trainer. How do you get past a no answer?
[On the jump, find out how she got a yes--and how you can too]
I used to be rigid about the accumulation of things I don’t need. Lately, though, I am relenting. I go soft at the knees for rusted farm tools, a mason jar of old unmatched buttons, a set of slightly bent tins saying “flour” “salt” and “coffee.” I buy this stuff without thinking at garage sales or weekend markets. It makes me long for the countryside I never grew up in—barns to coleslaw.
Last week I tried to take home—no joke—an old, dead stump. A man had cut down his tree and was giving away the 3-foot tall stump. It weighed about 100 pounds. I tried to carry/roll/drag it to the car. My husband watched me. He felt embarrassed. So did I. Worse, I lied to him, loudly, so that other people would hear me and think I was a normal person. “We can make a lamp out of it!” I said.
“It’s a stump,” my husband said.
“It’s like a rope swing without the swing!” I said.
“Think about it this way,” he said. “It’s history.”
We left the stump on the side of the road. As we should have. Because I needed another way to indulge my nostalgia for the past I never had. Luckily, I found such a place. It’s called dearphotograph.com.
It's officially hump day--but to help Friday come a little faster shop these fun finds all under $30.
The Laundress for J.Crew Collars and Cuffs Stain Bar, $7. Don't have time to get to the dry cleaners? Rub away the ring around the collar of your favorite white button-down with this gentle stain remover.
The Little Yoga Mat, $25. Help your tiny yogi Zen out with one of these pint-sized mats.
Alice Supply Co. Hammer, $26. You might be more interested in doing manual labor if your tools were covered in bright, bold patterns like these.
Speak Up Tattly Temporary Tattoo, $5 for 2. Forget your hairbrush--apply one of these mini microphone tattoos to your thumb and belt your favorite tune into your finger instead.
Make Your Own Havianas, starting at $25. Create customized flip-flops: Choose everything from the color to accessories for the straps. You're guaranteed to be the only one wearing them at the beach.
Every week, we'll be letting you know about new releases the editors at O and Oprah.com couldn't stop reading. On sale today...
by Esmeralda Santiago
The genius idea: A Puerto Rican Gone with the Wind
The passage that sets the mood: "The end of her cigar was a beacon, her voice syrupy and languid and full with promises. On the floor below her was a bottle of rum."
For readers who adore: hammocks, corsets, sherry, lace, sugar cane and forbidden love
Spanish word we learned: finca (estate)
Larger message (gulp): The history—and slaves—behind the romance of the early 19th-century sugar trade
I thought of her with guilt last week, while I was tipping a package of peanut M&M's into my mouth (what? It was a rough week), and with enormous respect today when I read about a new study that explains the addictive power of high-fat foods. To measure how taste alone affects the body's response to food, scientists from California and Italy fed different groups of rats liquid diets high in one of these three substances: fat, sugar or protein. As soon as the fatty liquid hit the rats' taste buds, their digestive systems began producing endocannabinoids, chemicals similar to those produced by marijuana use, and these rats showed a craving for more fatty food.
Fat is necessary for proper cell functioning, one of the study authors told The New York Times, explaining that "we have this evolutionary drive to recognize fat, and when we have access to it, to consume as much as we possibly can." The problem is our prehistoric ancestors weren't out hunting deep-fried Twinkies, so we've got to outsmart these biological impulses.
I personally find the study reassuring. If we accept that most of us don't have the same snack-mastery--call it willpower, or fortitude, or discipline--as my old friend, and if we acknowledge that one high-fat potato chip will probably lead to a binge, we may be more likely to think twice about indulging at all. Or at least, to save the benders for when we really, really need them.
This morning, those of us who were born just in time to take advantage of Title IX noticed one more small result of the 1972 legislation (prohibiting gender discrimination at schools that receive federal money). Back then, we heard from our mothers about "all" that we could do—and then we took to the soccer fields and running tracks, trying to figure out what the heck the "all" was. The potential was exciting, for us and our mothers, aunts and neighbors who weren't invited to join high-level sports and almost yanked out when they did (hello, Boston Marathon 1967).
And yet, seeing the U.S. Women's World Cup victory yesterday on the front page of The New York Times sports section and the U.S. Women's Open for golf covered inside has given us a whole new kind of joy, especially the soccer story.
It was also covered, via AP reports, in The Detroit Free Press, Atlanta Journal Constitution and elsewhere. With good reason: For the first time in years, the Americans aren't favored to win this World Cup (competition in women's international sports is heating up—drama!). The team played Brazil, who has Marta, perhaps the current Pele of women's soccer. The game itself had ups and downs, and the quotes afterward—from the players to the coach—were lump-in-your-throat inducing. (Really, go read them.)
But it was this sentence in The San Francisco Chronicle that got us: "Running low on hope and time, the Americans were surely beaten. ... And then, with one of the most thrilling goals in U.S. history, they weren't."
Not U.S. women's sports history. In sports. Full stop. Which is nice. But what's nicer still is that it means if you are 7 or 10 or 12 years old, you don't have to imagine a woman doing one of the most thrilling things in U.S. sports history. You can watch it here.
Elsewhere you can watch female Olympic hockey teams, LPGA golfers and collegiate lacrosse players compete at top levels, and you will read about their victories and losses in the papers. Also thrilling, no?
That was today's discovery. That there's a difference between hearing what women could do and seeing them do it this very minute. The difference between the girls we used to be and the girls right now, who can look at these mightily talented women and think, "I can do what she did...and I can do it even better."
Men, I now believe, love a lot of things as much sex. They love doughnuts as much as sex. They love a solid night of sleep under a heavy down duvet. They love an hour in the bathroom with a newspaper with nobody banging on the door. They love when people buy them clothes one size bigger than they are emotionally ready to deal with, cut off the tags, and pretend the L's are M's.
Now the British Telegraph tells me that, "Acts of affection like hugs ... were more important to men than women." Research by sociologists at the Kinsey Institute, the paper reported, confirmed that "men who said kissing and cuddling were a regular part of their relationship were on average three times happier than those who did not."
Even better, the 1,000 couples interviewed were aged 40 to 70 and had been in a relationship for an average of 25 years.
I find it uplifting that cuddling wins big in long-term loves. I can't give my husband a solid night of sleep or an hour in the bathroom with nobody banging on the door. (We are a family of four! With one toilet!) I can give him the doughnuts, but then I will have to buy a closet's worth of XL clothing, cut off the tags and pretend they are also M's. The hugging, however, I can handle—one arm, other arm, squeeze.