Coming to terms with painful situations can have a power that verges on miraculous. We've all heard the classic tale of, say, the woman who gets pregnant (after years of trying) once she reunites with her estranged family or the sick mother who gets better after a visit from her long-lost son. The Washington Post's story last Thursday about 9/11 widower Floyd Rasmussen begins like such story. After his first wife, Rhonda, died in the attack on the Pentagon, Rasmussen moved out west and started his life over by marrying another woman (the frank, insightful tale of how these two faced the losses in his past is itself reason enough to read the article immediately). Unfortunately, he also developed renal failure, which made travel not only difficult but perhaps fatal.
Regardless of the danger, he refused to skip the tenth anniversary event in Washington DC. He flew across the country, attended the ceremonies, and even met with President Obama to talk about what had happened that day, including the fact that he had only been two floors away from Rhonda and yet had escaped the wreckage unharmed. On the plane back home Rasmussen had trouble breathing, and, a few days later, passed away—but not before talking with his mother, other family and friends, to whom he declared that "he no longer felt any need for vengeance, no longer felt hatred for the men who had blown a hole in his life."
In the traditional miracle, he would have arrived home and found his condition cured. But that doesn't make his experience any less amazing. The forgiving of the unforgivable still qualifies as a marvel in my book—perhaps the kind most worth remembering and repeating, since we all can try to make that particular kind of magic happen in our own lives.
Read More:
Making peace with yourself—no matter what
How to say good-bye
Regardless of the danger, he refused to skip the tenth anniversary event in Washington DC. He flew across the country, attended the ceremonies, and even met with President Obama to talk about what had happened that day, including the fact that he had only been two floors away from Rhonda and yet had escaped the wreckage unharmed. On the plane back home Rasmussen had trouble breathing, and, a few days later, passed away—but not before talking with his mother, other family and friends, to whom he declared that "he no longer felt any need for vengeance, no longer felt hatred for the men who had blown a hole in his life."
In the traditional miracle, he would have arrived home and found his condition cured. But that doesn't make his experience any less amazing. The forgiving of the unforgivable still qualifies as a marvel in my book—perhaps the kind most worth remembering and repeating, since we all can try to make that particular kind of magic happen in our own lives.
Read More:
Making peace with yourself—no matter what
How to say good-bye
Every
Monday, we're rounding up the things, small and big, that us stop and think.
Today, we're inspired by...
•"I saw and began to realize that, if you have the right glasses on, there are a lot of absurd, funny things that happen in connection with being as old as we are."
-90-year-old nursing home resident Jan Slepian, whose self-published book on aging has been adapted into a play.
•"When women root for each other, we get so much further.
-Kate Hudson, in this month’s Elle.
•"I knew what I had to do: I had to become the Avenger of the women's section."
•"I saw and began to realize that, if you have the right glasses on, there are a lot of absurd, funny things that happen in connection with being as old as we are."
-90-year-old nursing home resident Jan Slepian, whose self-published book on aging has been adapted into a play.
•"When women root for each other, we get so much further.
-Kate Hudson, in this month’s Elle.
•"I knew what I had to do: I had to become the Avenger of the women's section."
-The Wall
Street Journal’s Lucette Lagnado, writing in her new memoir about attending a traditional divided synagogue
•"We really just got angry...[We learned that] you die anyway. You die sitting down. So let’s die trying. And when we stepped out, fortunately we didn’t die—we changed the course of history."
-Liberian revolutionary Leymah Gbowee on confronting then-dictator Charles Taylor in 2003, speaking at last week’s Women in the World Foundation Launch.
•"We really just got angry...[We learned that] you die anyway. You die sitting down. So let’s die trying. And when we stepped out, fortunately we didn’t die—we changed the course of history."
-Liberian revolutionary Leymah Gbowee on confronting then-dictator Charles Taylor in 2003, speaking at last week’s Women in the World Foundation Launch.
Every Monday, we're rounding up the things, small and big, that made us
stop and think. Today, we're inspired by words of wisdom from a Disney animator, a sympathetic mystery shopper and Rihanna...
Men! What are they thinking? We can't always answer that, but we'll be posting our favorite glimpses into their world in this space every Thursday.
* Did young Ernest Hemingway give a porcupine a "wack with an ax?" Vanity Fair shares a treasure trove of the writer’s delightful early correspondence with his parents and childhood friends. (Vanity Fair)
* Watch this: Louis C.K.'s affectionate remembrance of George Carlin, the man who inspired him to become a comedian. (The Daily What/NYPL.org, language NSFW)
* For boys who like bikes, the Barbour Steve McQueen collection. (Barbour)
* Need a place to stay in L.A.? Rent Conan O’Brian’s studio for a night (and it’s cheap, too). (Airbnb)
* "Studies have shown that men who can easily lift heavy objects make better listeners." Over at McSweeney's, "Jenna, Take Me Back, I'm Newly Muscular" is good for a laugh. (McSweeney's)
* "But the power people take from others is nothing next to the power that comes with simple self-acceptance, with being comfortable in your (changing) skin. It’s not just Survival of the Fit-ins. There’s room for something new."—Joss Whedon's advice to teenagers starting high school. (Rookie)
| Photo: The Pennsylvania State University Library |
* Did young Ernest Hemingway give a porcupine a "wack with an ax?" Vanity Fair shares a treasure trove of the writer’s delightful early correspondence with his parents and childhood friends. (Vanity Fair)
* Watch this: Louis C.K.'s affectionate remembrance of George Carlin, the man who inspired him to become a comedian. (The Daily What/NYPL.org, language NSFW)
* For boys who like bikes, the Barbour Steve McQueen collection. (Barbour)
* Need a place to stay in L.A.? Rent Conan O’Brian’s studio for a night (and it’s cheap, too). (Airbnb)
* "Studies have shown that men who can easily lift heavy objects make better listeners." Over at McSweeney's, "Jenna, Take Me Back, I'm Newly Muscular" is good for a laugh. (McSweeney's)
* "But the power people take from others is nothing next to the power that comes with simple self-acceptance, with being comfortable in your (changing) skin. It’s not just Survival of the Fit-ins. There’s room for something new."—Joss Whedon's advice to teenagers starting high school. (Rookie)
Men! What are they thinking? We can't always answer that, but we'll be posting our favorite glimpses into their world in this space every Thursday.
* In 1989 a 7-year-old girl sent Roald Dahl "a dream in a bottle" she'd made with oil, colored water and glitter. He wrote back. (Twitter via Letters of Note)
* Speaking of children's literature, where's Waldo? (Guardian.co.uk)
* An ode to Steve Jobs' most influential innovation of all: Business casual attire. (The Smart Set)
* Bummed you won't get to see Venus Williams compete in the U.S. Open? Get to know Ryan Harrison, the 19-year-old Grantland calls the next John McEnroe. (Grantland)
* "Let’s put it this way: My legs are gone, but I’m still going to be able to walk my daughter down the aisle one day, and I’m still going to see my son grow up, and probably get into trouble." — New York Times photographer Joao Silva, who lost his legs after stepping on a landmine in Afghanistan, in a speech he gave in early August. The whole thing is worth a read. (Lens Blog)
* In 1989 a 7-year-old girl sent Roald Dahl "a dream in a bottle" she'd made with oil, colored water and glitter. He wrote back. (Twitter via Letters of Note)* Speaking of children's literature, where's Waldo? (Guardian.co.uk)
* An ode to Steve Jobs' most influential innovation of all: Business casual attire. (The Smart Set)
* Bummed you won't get to see Venus Williams compete in the U.S. Open? Get to know Ryan Harrison, the 19-year-old Grantland calls the next John McEnroe. (Grantland)
* "Let’s put it this way: My legs are gone, but I’m still going to be able to walk my daughter down the aisle one day, and I’m still going to see my son grow up, and probably get into trouble." — New York Times photographer Joao Silva, who lost his legs after stepping on a landmine in Afghanistan, in a speech he gave in early August. The whole thing is worth a read. (Lens Blog)
Every Monday,
we're rounding up things—small and big—that made us stop and think.
Today's inspiration...
The quest for justice and equality continues. The Dream lives on, and the legacy of the man who was determined to speak to, and call forth, the moral voice within us now occupies a hallowed place among our heroes and our history.
-Janet Langhart Cohen, writing about the unveiling of the Martin Luther King Monument
When you get older you know what you can let go of, and you become lighter.
-Jane Fonda, in conversation with Charlie Rose, talking about how people over 50 are happier than younger people
At last check my four turkeys were still out in the rain, not looking up into the rain like idiots, but simply waiting out the storm with a Patton-like stoicism, their usual somber dignity a little soaked and muddy, but intact. I’m in awe.
Susan Orlean, on her fowls' reactions to Hurricane Irene
You can’t order creativity. You can only create the conditions for it to blossom--mainly by setting certain prescribed boundaries and then giving your creative people a great deal of autonomy to execute as they see fit.
-E.B. Boyd, on what we can learn from the music festival Burning Man, which starts today
I feel that a sense of compassion is the most precious thing there is.
-the Dalai Lama, via Twitter
The quest for justice and equality continues. The Dream lives on, and the legacy of the man who was determined to speak to, and call forth, the moral voice within us now occupies a hallowed place among our heroes and our history.
-Janet Langhart Cohen, writing about the unveiling of the Martin Luther King Monument
When you get older you know what you can let go of, and you become lighter.
-Jane Fonda, in conversation with Charlie Rose, talking about how people over 50 are happier than younger people
At last check my four turkeys were still out in the rain, not looking up into the rain like idiots, but simply waiting out the storm with a Patton-like stoicism, their usual somber dignity a little soaked and muddy, but intact. I’m in awe.
Susan Orlean, on her fowls' reactions to Hurricane Irene
You can’t order creativity. You can only create the conditions for it to blossom--mainly by setting certain prescribed boundaries and then giving your creative people a great deal of autonomy to execute as they see fit.
-E.B. Boyd, on what we can learn from the music festival Burning Man, which starts today
I feel that a sense of compassion is the most precious thing there is.
-the Dalai Lama, via Twitter
What would it take
to change your life for the better? It may be less than you think—we’ve
got mini-makeovers to help you upgrade everything from your workout to
your weekend. #14: Spend time with someone you don't agree with.
Looking past divisive politics and differing views to the person on the other side of the issue may be challenging, but it's not impossible. Elizabeth Lesser, cofounder of the Omega Institute and author of Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow, suggests starting with lunch.
"Otherising" is the dangerous act of turning someone into the enemy just because he or she looks different, prays different, speaks different, or thinks different. Some of history's most tragic events—wars, genocides, terrorist acts—began with ordinary people demonizing other ordinary people.
I noticed a remarkable amount of otherising during the 2008 presidential race. And there was one woman doing it who bothered me the most—me!
Keep Reading to find out to open your mind
 |
| Illustration: Marcos Chin |
"Otherising" is the dangerous act of turning someone into the enemy just because he or she looks different, prays different, speaks different, or thinks different. Some of history's most tragic events—wars, genocides, terrorist acts—began with ordinary people demonizing other ordinary people.
I noticed a remarkable amount of otherising during the 2008 presidential race. And there was one woman doing it who bothered me the most—me!
Keep Reading to find out to open your mind
Men! What are they thinking? We can't always answer that, but we'll be posting our favorite glimpses into their world in this space every Thursday.
* Catching up with the Reader-in-Chief: Newsweek presents every book the president has read while in office in handy illustrated form. (The Daily Beast)
* Comedian Andy Samberg channels McEnroe, Borg, Agassi and other tennis greats for The New York Times Magazine this weekend, and this behind-the-scenes video shows how he got into character. (NYTimes.com)
* "So frustrating because, if [you were outed], there was no ability to assume that your record stood for itself. All of a sudden there was this mystical discovery that made your record go into the trash." As Don't Ask Don't Tell comes to an end, GQ's Chris Heath interviews gay service members, and the results are fascinating and heartbreaking. (GQ)
* Are you ready to meet the perfect groom? This guy surprised his girlfriend with a proposal and her dream wedding on the same day. (Glamour.com)
* "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world."—Jack Layton, a Canadian politician who died of cancer this week at the age of 61, in a letter to his country. (CBC)
| Photo: New York Times Magazine |
* Comedian Andy Samberg channels McEnroe, Borg, Agassi and other tennis greats for The New York Times Magazine this weekend, and this behind-the-scenes video shows how he got into character. (NYTimes.com)
* "So frustrating because, if [you were outed], there was no ability to assume that your record stood for itself. All of a sudden there was this mystical discovery that made your record go into the trash." As Don't Ask Don't Tell comes to an end, GQ's Chris Heath interviews gay service members, and the results are fascinating and heartbreaking. (GQ)
* Are you ready to meet the perfect groom? This guy surprised his girlfriend with a proposal and her dream wedding on the same day. (Glamour.com)
* "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world."—Jack Layton, a Canadian politician who died of cancer this week at the age of 61, in a letter to his country. (CBC)
Every Monday,
we're rounding up things—small and big—that made us stop and think.
Today, we were inspired by a photographer who spoke out against teen
bullying, a trio of actresses vowing not to "give in" to plastic
surgery, and more...
"I will never give in. [Plastic surgery] goes against my morals, the way that my parents brought me up and what I consider to be natural beauty."
Kate Winslet, who with Emma Thompson and Rachel Weisz founded the British Anti-Cosmetic Surgery League, an informal alliance against the pressure to get plastic surgery (via Jezebel)
"50 percent of happiness comes from your genes. Only 10 percent comes from life conditions like income, race and physical attractiveness; and 40 percent from your activities and relationships."
Graphic designer Stefan Sagmeister, who is making a movie about what makes people happy
"If you are ugly on the inside, I’m sorry but I won’t take your photos to make you look pretty on the outside!"
Pennsylvania photographer Jennifer McKendrick, who refused to take photos of teen bullies (via Huffington Post)
"I never admitted that the country [my husband] loved existed only in his imagination, or that I could not find a moment of peace in Qaddafi's shadow, or that his family's desperate generosity filled me with sadness. I never told Ismail that under Qaddafi his homeland had become a prison, and that as long as he was in power, I never wanted to return."
Krista Bremer writing in the July issue of O about visiting her Libyan in-laws in pre-revolutionary Tripoli
"Seven races in 11 weeks.....I wasn’t running for medals or gift certificates or free shoes. I ran because the courses were there, friends were there, the finish line was there."
Jen A. Miller, on learning to appreciate the run as much as the race
"I will never give in. [Plastic surgery] goes against my morals, the way that my parents brought me up and what I consider to be natural beauty."
Kate Winslet, who with Emma Thompson and Rachel Weisz founded the British Anti-Cosmetic Surgery League, an informal alliance against the pressure to get plastic surgery (via Jezebel)
"50 percent of happiness comes from your genes. Only 10 percent comes from life conditions like income, race and physical attractiveness; and 40 percent from your activities and relationships."
Graphic designer Stefan Sagmeister, who is making a movie about what makes people happy
"If you are ugly on the inside, I’m sorry but I won’t take your photos to make you look pretty on the outside!"
Pennsylvania photographer Jennifer McKendrick, who refused to take photos of teen bullies (via Huffington Post)
"I never admitted that the country [my husband] loved existed only in his imagination, or that I could not find a moment of peace in Qaddafi's shadow, or that his family's desperate generosity filled me with sadness. I never told Ismail that under Qaddafi his homeland had become a prison, and that as long as he was in power, I never wanted to return."
Krista Bremer writing in the July issue of O about visiting her Libyan in-laws in pre-revolutionary Tripoli
"Seven races in 11 weeks.....I wasn’t running for medals or gift certificates or free shoes. I ran because the courses were there, friends were there, the finish line was there."
Jen A. Miller, on learning to appreciate the run as much as the race
Men! What are they thinking? We can't always answer that, but we'll be posting our favorite glimpses into their world in this space every Thursday.
* Earlier this month, an 89-year-old barber named Aaron Biber, found the
shop he'd owned for 41 years destroyed by London's rioters. Last
Wednesday, a group of advertising interns set up a website to help him
repair the shop. Within a week, visitors to the site had contributed nearly $60,000—enough to keep Aaron cutting. The kindness of strangers really never gets old. (Keep Aaron Cutting)
* Put this On, a web fashion series for men, visits the corduroy appreciation club and checks in with Gay Talese, one of the few dandies so dandy he has his own style of lapel. (Put this On)
* Relive the crushes of your youth in this slideshow of '80s athletes with their girlfriends and wives. For every Mike Tyson and Robin Givens, there's a couple that reminds us true love can span several decades—and survive the worst of mullets. (Sports Illustrated)
* Male superheroes get Wonder Woman-ized. (Bleeding Cool)
* "Fear only has as much power as we give it space."—Bright's Passage author Josh Ritter tells us what he knows for sure. (Oprah.com)
| Aaron Biber Photo: Oli Scarff/Getty Images |
* Put this On, a web fashion series for men, visits the corduroy appreciation club and checks in with Gay Talese, one of the few dandies so dandy he has his own style of lapel. (Put this On)
* Relive the crushes of your youth in this slideshow of '80s athletes with their girlfriends and wives. For every Mike Tyson and Robin Givens, there's a couple that reminds us true love can span several decades—and survive the worst of mullets. (Sports Illustrated)
* Male superheroes get Wonder Woman-ized. (Bleeding Cool)
* "Fear only has as much power as we give it space."—Bright's Passage author Josh Ritter tells us what he knows for sure. (Oprah.com)
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