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One of the best presents I've ever been given was a big pile of garbage. It wasn't garbage to me, of course -- the stacks of discarded magazines, collected by my husband over several trash nights leading up to my birthday, provided perfect materials for making collages, one of my favorite pastimes. And more importantly, the only-slightly-smelly gift showed how well my husband knew me, and the effort he was willing to put into doing something he thought I might like. Even, say, digging through the stacks of trash out on the curb.

The blogger behind Purposefully Untitled knows what I'm talking about. As she wrote, "The nicest thing that anyone ever did for me...was to fill my refrigerator full of Diet Coke. Yes, it was that simple." She explains that she'd been working around the clock, and had run out of her beloved Diet Coke. Then one day she came home and found a fridge full of those silvery treasures, cans of Coke, and she reports that she was so touched, she cried.

Now, this lady obviously enjoys her soda, but that's not what made her cry. As she puts it, "That person knew me. That person knew how to love me." 

The blogger goes on to write, "Someone once told me that there are four primary ways in which people like to be shown love: (1) affirmations; (2) tokens; (3) touch; and (4) acts of service. To most effectively show your love, you need to know how the object of your affection likes to be shown love."  Purposefully Untitled does a nice job of explaining how these different ways work, and what exactly each one means.

It's funny, but I was just talking to one of my good lady friends (ok, it was my mother) about these different ways to show love. How we think that everyone in our lives wants to be loved the way we do, so we think, if we are an affirmation type for example, "Why's he in such a funk? I just told him how great I think he is!" -- when maybe what that person needs to feel loved is a back rub (or, you know, something). It makes so much sense, laid out like that, I think. Oh, so that wonderful garbage-pile gift that made me feel so loved was an "act of service," like the wonderful fridge full of Diet Coke. Makes sense! So many relationship bumps could be smoothed over if we paid more attention to this. How do you want to be shown love? How does your partner? What are you waiting for -- a Power Point presentation of the ways in which you are adorable? A Huxtable-family-style foot rub session? A fridge full of beverages? Tell us in the comments...