Male therapists are in short supply. So what if your partner only wants to talk to another man?
| He's having a hard time opening up (photo: Thinkstock) |
If this describes someone you love, you could tell him that, in terms of the research, a psychologist's gender
makes little difference in the outcome of therapy. Or you could be a bit more useful. (Even if you don't
agree with him, it's his belief that matters--you want him to get help,
remember?).
To find out exactly what you can do, we followed up with one of Carey's sources for the article, Ronald F. Levant, EdD, a professor of psychology at the University of Akron, Ohio who is recognized as an authority on the psychology of men and masculinity.
If your partner has already expressed interest in
talking to a male therapist: "There are a variety of resources for people to
find one," says Levant. "The American
Psychological Association, The National
Association of Social Workers, The
American Counseling Association all have locator resources. They don't list
by gender, but you can often tell from names and photos which ones are men."
If there aren't any therapists in your area who are
a good fit for him: "Consider online therapy," says Levant. "Some research,
including a 2006 study published in the journal Psychology of Men &
Masculinity, shows that men who tend to be more traditional in their perception
of gender roles tend to prefer less personal forms of counseling. So online
counseling might be an option for them. Your best bet is to contact the National Register of Health Service
Providers in Psychology." [Note: we did, and they told us that online
therapy is a growing field that has become very popular with the military. But
the military abides by different licensing requirements than most states, so
the National Register suggests using their Find a
Psychologist tool to find a licensed, credentialed psychologist in
your state, and contact them to ask if they provide therapy online. If they
don't, ask if they can refer you to someone who does.]
If he still can't find the right guy: "I suggest stretching the
boundaries of the world 'therapist.'" says Levant. "Maybe there's a pastoral
counselor he could talk to. Many priests and ministers have been trained to
provide counseling, or have received training in their Doctor of Ministry
programs. Of course, while they may not be licensed as psychotherapists, you do
want to look for someone who is reasonably competent." [Go here for general
information about pastoral counseling, here to
read about state licensing of this profession, and here to find a counselor in
your area]
If he's found a qualified female therapist that he
likes, but still feels hesitant about opening up to her: "Say to him, 'Why don't you tell her about your discomfort? See
how she responds. Maybe she has a good idea of how to deal with this.'" says Levant. "A good
therapist will know how to respond, and if she doesn't handle it well, then
encourage him to move on. A fundamental requirement
for being a good therapist is to be able to put aside your own frame of
reference and see things from the perspective of your client. That's the
essence of clinical training."
If all else fails, you might remind him that if
Tony Soprano, one of the most masculine characters on television, was able to
discuss his work and family problems with a female psychiatrist, he
may as well give it a try.
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