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If you attack your preconceptions for just 10 minutes at a time, you'll eventually feel a subtle loosening, a little wiggle room as your mind begins relaxing its grip on the idea that you're not so hot and not so lovable.
3. Experiment with dope (as in dopamine).
Before moving on, it helps to add some psychoactive chemicals. Some people achieve social confidence only when they use alcohol or drugs. I can never remember to buy these things, but I always have a few mood-altering substances on hand—or rather, in my head—and so do you.
For example, dopamine increases when we face something unfamiliar and difficult: working a crossword puzzle, knitting a complicated sweater. Epinephrine is released when we sustain moderate exercise. When we take a chance (for example, by expressing an unpopular opinion or displaying something we've created), we produce more epinephrine. All of these hormones can increase our confidence enough to help us release our old, supposedly protective thoughts and behaviors.
So once you're used to unthinking your physical self-image, give yourself a little chemical boost to compensate for the emotional shields you'll be dropping. Complete a challenging task, work out until you sweat a bit, take a risk that makes your heart speed up, or all three. You'll feel more confident for several hours. Use that time for real-world experimentation.
