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By the time most girls reach their teens, they've consumed years' worth of messages about what a female body should look like—and not just from the media.
"Mothers play a tremendous role in their daughters' self-assurance and potential to develop eating disorders," Gittes tells WebMD.
Girls take to heart what their mothers say about bodies: their own, their daughters, those of strangers and celebrities. They notice when their mothers exercise obsessively, diet constantly, or make derogatory comments about their own appearance. That should come as no surprise, as mothers are a girl's first and, often, most influential role model.
Fathers play an equally influential role in shaping their daughters' self-image. "A daughter learns how to relate to men by the way she relates to her father," says Carleton Kendrick EdM, LCSW, social worker and co-author of Take Out Your Nose Ring, Honey, We're Going to Grandma's.
That's why it's critical that fathers check what they say to their daughters about their physical appearance. "There needs to be a pause where you say, 'What will this comment do? What's my intention when I tell my daughter she should lose some weight?'" Kendrick suggests.
Equally important—and extremely obvious to girls—is the way in which fathers perceive all females, not just their daughters. To that end, Kendrick urges fathers to consider the following questions: "Can your daughter see you watching Internet porn? Are Playboy and Hustler hanging around? How do you react at halftime when the cheerleaders come on?"
Kendrick urges all fathers: "Pay attention to how you respond to the media images of sexy, thin women because your daughter is listening."
Related Oprah.com Resources
SOURCES: Renee Hobbs, EdD, associate professor, communications, Temple University. Elissa Gittes, MD, pediatrician, Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh. Sarah Murnen, professor of psychology, Kenyon College. Carleton Kendrick, EdM, LCSW, social worker; co-author, Take Out Your Nose Ring, Honey, We're Going to Grandma's. Adrienne Ressler, MA, LMSW, national training director, The Renfrew Center. Dohnt, H. Developmental Psychology, September 2006; vol 42: pp 929-936.
