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Marriage isn't a magic bullet for a wonderful life, says DePaulo. "But it has that appeal that you will meet this person and everything falls into place. Yet if you look to one person to be everything, it's not fair to that person, not fair to you, and it's not healthy. And if the marriage doesn't last, it's devastating."
One study tracking 1,000 couples for 15 years found that marriage brought only a "tiny blip" of happiness during the brief time closest to the wedding ceremony. "But on average, afterwards, people go back to way they were before. The researcher's perspective is that we each have a baseline of happiness, and marriage on average isn't going to change that—except for that little blip," DePaulo says.
In fact, most married vs. single "happiness studies" are seriously flawed, she adds. "They lump all single people together—divorced, widowed, always-single—without factoring in the transition period, the really unnerving period in your life after divorce or becoming widowed," she tells WebMD. "Over time, you go back to the person you were before. But studies don't take that transition period into account."
Here's an eye-opener: In one survey, moms were asked what they most wanted as a Mother's Day gift. "The overwhelming answer was 'time to myself.' Women who have the dream—marriage and kids—just want time to themselves," says DePaulo.
