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The Sex and the City ladies were feisty, gutsy. Our Friends girlfriends had great … friends. Thirty years ago, our mentor was Mary Tyler Moore. In the 1960s, our guru was Helen Gurley Brown with her liberating book, Sex and the Single Girl.
But medical studies show just the opposite—that married people are happier and healthier than single women. The pressure to marry is even greater than ever, says Bella M. DePaulo, PhD, social psychologist at the University of California, Santa Barbara, and author of the book Singled Out.
"It's an old-fashioned message, that you're better off if you find a man," DePaulo tells WebMD. "It's this idea that you can be single, have your big career and all your friends, but that's not the route to happiness, it's not deep or meaningful like marriage is. That's ridiculous. The best friendships often last longer than marriages…you don't have ridiculous expectations of your friends like you do a spouse."
Yes, those old, mopey stereotypes are still alive and kicking.
"The stereotypes that single women are either promiscuous or don't get any are a scam," she says. "It's like if you're married, all you have to do is roll over and have perfect sex. Anyone who reads the divorce columns knows that's not true! Single women can now get sex outside of marriage. It's probably quaint not to. Single women can even have kids without a husband, and without having sex!"
DePaulo's favorite line: "Single women can pick up the check at work and sperm at the bank."
