Excerpt from Prime

By Dr. Pepper Schwartz
'Prime' by Dr. Pepper Schwartz

How do you look for a life partner after 50 and enjoy sexual adventures along the way? Prime is Dr. Pepper Schwartz's response to this question. It's her story of exploration—sex, adventure and romance—spread out like a road map for all women.

Chapter One: How Did I Get Here?

Asking Questions

Dear Dr. Pepper,

I am a single woman, divorced after 23 years of marriage, with my kids off to college. Ideally, I would like to have a serious relationship, but if that isn't around the corner, I still want sex and companionship. I find myself in a world of chat-room hookups, cyber-matchmaking, and coconut-flavored glow-in-the-dark condoms. I feel as sexually alive as I did when I was 25, but the number and availability of men for me has changed. How do I look for a life partner and enjoy sexual adventures along the way? Oh, yes, and did I mention that I really enjoy sex?

Advice, please.

Sincerely,
A Single Sexologist in Seattle

After three decades of answering people's questions about their emotional, sexual, and romantic lives, after writing numerous books on sex and relationships, after thirty-five years as a professor of sociology at the University of Washington, you would think I could come up with an easy answer to my own question. The situation was at least humorous and in no small part ironic.

I had plenty of good advice for women in my situation based on solid scientific research. But I had not always followed what I knew to be the best course since my own divorce. Still, I am five years older than when I left my husband, and I think a wiser person than the woman who reentered the singles scene after almost a quarter of a century as a married woman.