Intentional Dialogue Exercise

Validating

It's not enough just to listen—you must understand your partner's truth. "It's not enough just to be heard," says Dr. Harville Hendrix, "It's 'Do you see that I'm not crazy?'"

Validating Exercise
Your partner does not have to agree with your argument to validate it. And in order to validate your message, he needs to use the right language. He should use sentences like this: "You make sense because…" or "I can see what you're saying…." Using the phrase, "makes sense" may be helpful—it tells you that your partner doesn't think your feelings are crazy.

Your partner must make certain that you feel validated before moving on. If you do, move on to the next step.

Intentional Dialogue Exercise
Step One: Mirroring
Step Two: Validating
Step Three: Empathizing
The Gift