The Secrets You're Not Telling Yourself

By Martha Beck

Five Steps to Express What You've Repressed

The antidote to repression is expression. Here's a five-step process to help your conscious mind tunnel through the walls of denial.

Step 1: Set up a buddy system
You wouldn't explore an uncharted cave alone, so start by making an appointment to go mind-spelunking with someone reliable. If your score on the quiz is high, this someone had better be a therapist. If your score is low or moderate, make plans to go through the steps below with a trustworthy friend or significant other.

Step 2: Dig for the truth
Now you're going to shine a light around your mental grottoes by answering the following questions. Be absolutely honest, but don't over think your answers.
  • What do I almost know?
  • What do I almost feel?
  • What would I want to do if it weren't forbidden?
  • What am I tired of hiding from myself?
  • What really happened, though I act as if it never did?
  • What is it that my family and I all know but no one ever talks about?
If you have very little repressed mind matter, your honest answer to each question might be "nothing." But you may uncover a shocker.

Step 3: Shine the light of words
The recipe for releasing buried demons is simple: Know what you really know, feel what you really feel and say what you really mean. It doesn't matter if the words you use to reveal the truth are written or spoken, poetic or clumsy. As long as they're utterly candid, they create a channel that opens what you know subconsciously to the luminous clarity of conscious thought.