Impotent Rage

By Martha Beck
Martha Beck

It's got to be the nastiest feeling in the world. You want to scream. Beat your head against the wall. So what can you do? Get in touch with your ire power, says Martha.

"She seemed like such a nice person," the neighbors always say. "I can't believe she strangled that Bloomingdale's floor clerk with his own tie." The neighbors may be truly surprised by the outburst of violence, but many of us not-so-innocent bystanders understand it completely. We walk meekly about the world hiding our own reservoirs of anger, reservoirs that rise a little each time we experience what feels like impotent rage.

I say "feels like" because though we all encounter situations in which we have no power to act constructively on our anger, these are very rare. If you often experience rage that feels impotent, you are almost certainly failing to comprehend, let alone use, the full extent of your own power. You've blocked the healthy flow of anger through your life, and the accretion of rage may well be poisoning your happiness, scarring your relationships, and stunting your career. It's time to channel your anger into the healthy course it was meant to take.