Finding and Keeping the Love of Your Life

By Helen Fisher
Helen Fisher's love types
Photo: Michael Edwards; illustration: Joe McKendry

Could this be the year you meet your soul mate? Renowned anthropologist Helen Fisher, PhD, author of the new book Why Him? Why Her?, has a formula for romance based on mixing the right brain chemistry.

In the spring of 2007, 500 couples who read O participated in an online survey I developed to explore how happy different personality combinations are together. The findings were stunning. More than 70 percent said they would marry the same person again—after an average of 16 years together. That is a supreme achievement.

But what about those of you who haven't yet found real love? From my studies of genetics and neuroscience I have come to believe that people fall into four broad personality types—each influenced by a different brain chemical: I call them the Explorer, Builder, Director, and Negotiator. When I designed the O survey, I wanted to see which types had married each other and stayed together, and how the mix was playing out in their relationships. Now, with additional data, I can offer scientific guidance about dating depending on which personality you are—especially if you're looking for chemistry that lasts.

So which love type are you?

Type: The Explorer
Traits: Highly curious, creative, energetic, spontaneous.
How to find your match

Type: The Builder
Traits: Calm, social, popular, and good at managing people, networking, and building family and community.
How to find your match

Type: The Director
Traits: Analytical and logical, straightforward, decisive, tough minded, and focused.
How to find your match

Type: The Negotiator
Traits: Imaginative, intuitive, empathetic, and emotionally expressive, and have good verbal and social skills.
How to find your match

Plus: Why we're wired to find love!