Martha Beck Rescues You from Holiday Houseguest Hell

By Martha Beck


Establish a Sanctum Sanctorum


Meaning "holy of holies," sanctum sanctorum refers to the center of a temple or church, accessible only to a chosen few. Your sanctum sanctorum might be your master bedroom, or a bathroom, which works well because if you disappear into it for hours, most people won't want to know why. Make sure the room has a lock, then fill it with everything you removed during the undecorating process. Don't forget the most valuable thing of all: nothing.

When Roman troops plundered the Jewish temple's sanctum sanctorum, they thought it would contain jewels, delicacies, and the latest in combat technology, not yet available in stores. Instead, they found something that truly shocked them: emptiness. The Jewish concept of God isn't a three-dimensional object; it is a force beyond material form, a no-thing that is the ground for everything. Learn from this. At the center of your sanctum sanctorum, leave space for a little bit of nothing: nothing to do, nothing to remember, nothing to buy or wrap or give or cook or dust. Slip away to this space to rediscover your holy self during the holy days, especially when your visitors are raising holy hell.

So that's it. Once you've immunized yourself against social anxiety, undecorated, and created your sanctum sanctorum, you can throw yourself into the festive joys of holiday entertaining. Knowing your heart and home are protected, mail those invitations and park yourself under the mistletoe. It's up to you whether you offer guests your mouth or your cheek.