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Step 1: Stop Spoiling Your Kids!
Make them choose. Children can handle making choices from the age of 2. When they're really young, help them to choose between only two items. As they start grade school, they should be able to make a decision among four, five, even six. A great place to begin this exercise is at the grocery store. Let your child choose whether it'll be Raisin Bran, Rice Krispies or Cheerios. (Don't put a sugary cereal on the list of options if you don't want it in the house.) Or chocolate, vanilla or strawberry ice cream.
Explain your decisions. There will come a time—very likely in that grocery store—when you'll hear, "But I want both!" That's an opportunity for an educational moment. Just like you can't have both the SUV and the Hybrid, they can't have both kinds of cookies.
And this is how you explain it: "Mom and Dad work hard to earn the money to buy the things we need, but if we are going to have money leftover for the things we really want tomorrow—like our summer vacation, a nice Christmas or Hanukah, and eventually college for you—we can't spend every penny. We have to try hard to buy the things we need (and we do need some cookies to put in your lunchbox), but we also have to try hard not to buy all the things we don't need (and we don't need three different kinds of cookies in one week). So pick the one you like the best, and next week you can pick a different kind."
