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Now, What Do I Do? 8 Tricky Holiday Situations

Etiquette advice on giving teachers gifts for the holidays
Illustration: Pierre Le-Tan

Teachers' Gifts—Give or Not?


Q: I give my kids' teacher a nice gift every year—a scarf, some perfume—but my friend says I shouldn't because not everyone can afford to do so. Do you agree?

A: "Giving your child's teacher a token of your appreciation for a job well done is between you and the teacher. (Most teachers I asked about receiving gifts from parents said that scarves are nice but they would prefer the flexibility of a gift card.)" 
— Rudy Rasmus, pastor, St. John's United Methodist Church in Houston

"Expensive store-bought gifts might be mistaken for bribes and, indeed, call attention to socioeconomic advantage. You could organize the purchase of "class gifts" with small contributions from families who wish to and can afford to participate." 
— Anita L. Allen, professor of law and philosophy, the University of Pennsylvania Law School


Stumped?

From the December 2008 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine