Coping with Memory Clutter
Then, Peter comes across a sound machine that used to help Jake fall asleep. Every night, Jenny and Steve say good-night to Lincoln, and then they go to Jake's room to say good-night to him and turn on the machine. In keeping it, Peter wants to make sure this ritual is not unhealthy for the family. "The big focus in this is that stuff has power over you," Peter says. "My concern [is] that often in touching things or looking at things they [are] connecting to the grief of the experience."
Lincoln was so young when Jake died that he says it's hard to remember the sound of his voice and what he looked like. "It's like a hole's in my heart," he says. Peter asks how he can help Lincoln heal. "Definitely by keeping some of the good memory stuff instead of all this bad memory stuff," he says.
Five hours later, the family finishes with four boxes of joyful memories of Jake.